Thats impossible. I mean, no way I can pull that off in three weeks. The planning coordinator was panicked over the phone as I told her my plans.
Not even for double your salary? I intrigued. When I wanted something bad enough, I was sure to make it happen.
Drake, you know thats not how I work, she persisted.
Triple.
I heard her sigh and finally she agreed. Fine. On one condition.
Name it.
Name one the babies after me. I could tell she was joking, but I went along with it anyway to amuse her.
Deal. Rachel Mason Stagliano will make a beautiful boys name.
Oh my G.o.d, shut up, Drake. She laughed.
So we have a deal then?
Yes, fine. Ill get started right away.
Good. Ill catch up with you in a week and see where you are.
You got it.
After finally getting her on board, I went to my files and dug out Stanleys. He wasnt very specific on what he wanted, so I just a.s.sumed a quiet, simple evening would suffice. I hadnt even met his new partner yet, so I decided to call him up.
Drake, whats up man?
I found it funny that Stanley, a man in his 50s, spoke like a teenage boy.
Hey, want to grab lunch today? Bring your new partner so I can meet him.
Sure. Blanches on 56th and East.
Okay, meet me at two.
He agreed and hung up. If I werent getting much information from Stanley, Id have to sink my teeth into his partner for info.
Stagliano, for three, I told the hostess. I had my a.s.sistant make reservations so we didnt have to wait around.
Yes, sir. Right this way.
Stanley was already there waiting for me. Drake, this is Dan Gillian, my new partner.
We exchanged h.e.l.los and sat down to look over the menu. We chatted, drank a little, and laughed about our work. It was nice getting together with a couple guys that understood the busy work schedule. I had friends in college and colleagues, but none that I really connected with outside of work. Dan was nice, and easy to get along with.
Stanley and I had a different kind of bond"the kind that you have respect for each other, secretly knowing what Molly is hiding from him, making me want to thank the man over and over. Even though Mollys parents couldve picked a different donor, hes what made Molly"Molly.
I knew she would never tell him, and I completely supported that, but sometimes it killed me inside keeping it a secret when he was around.
So, it sounds like everything is coming along? Stanley said, finishing the last of his meal.
Yes, Id say so. I have my best planner on it, making sure its all ready to go.
Excellent. He smiled. Will Molly be coming with? Dan wore a confused look. Molly is Drakes fiance, he answered his silent question.
Oh, right, he said, clearing his throat. I cant wait to meet her.
Im not sure sh.e.l.l be able to attend. Shes been put on bed rest, and until shes cleared, she cant really do much. Im probably being over-protective, but Id rather be safe than sorry.
Oh, we understand. I hope everything turns out okay, Stanley replied.
Thanks, and yeah I think shes doing well. Im actually going to surprise her before Christmas with an engagement party. You are both invited to come. You can meet Molly then. I smiled at Dan. He nodded in agreement.
We finished the meeting shortly after, needing to get back to my office before I went home for the evening to my amazing family.
5.
Molly Having to be waited on hand and foot was not how I imagined spending the holidays this year. The doctor was strict in making sure I spent the last couple of weeks in bed until my next check up. I knew it would all be worth it, knowing the babies would be born healthy, but I felt as if I were literally going crazy.
The dreams of Travis still lingered in my sleep. They werent as bad or as often, but they still woke me up on occasion. I knew I should probably speak to a therapist about it, but I wasnt sure I would be able to get the words out.
For the first time in years, I dreamt about Liam, my late fiance. I used to have major panic attacks after he pa.s.sed away, but since Drake entered my life, theyve decreased substantially.
Baby, are you okay? Drake asked as he woke up. I had been staring at the ceiling for the past hour as Drake slept.
Yeah, just thinking.
He rolled over and clicked the lamp on. Wanna talk about it? Have more nightmares?
No, the opposite, actually. I smiled.
What about?
I dreamt about Stellas dad and her. He wasnt dead though. Stella was a toddler in my dream.
Well, tell me, he coaxed, sounding sympathetic.
He was singing to her. He was playing his guitar and singing her to sleep. I watched as I rubbed her head. His eyes didnt leave hers until she eventually fell asleep on my lap. And he just continued singing, but eventually looking up in my eyes.
Sounds beautiful.
It was. I swallowed. But it was the words that were strange, the lyrics in the song.
What were they? He leaned up on his elbow and brushed the hair off my face.
They wereit was like a messagelike a hidden message I paused. He sang about unconditional love and about him being happy for me. I continued staring at the ceiling, desperately trying to remember the exact words.
Wow. Did he seem happy? Or was he mad?
He was happy, I responded blankly. But his eyes were sad. As if he knew.
Knew what?
Knew that I had moved on and started a new family.
He wouldve wanted you and Stella to be happy, sweetheart. You know that, right?
Yes, but that doesnt mean I dont feel guilty at times.
What is it you feel guilty for? he asked.
I feel guilty that Stella will never remember him. That sh.e.l.l never know her real dad. And then I feel guilty for even feeling guilty because youre in her life now, and youre just so wonderful, and I couldnt ask for a better man in her life. But then I feel guilty knowing that if Liam never pa.s.sed away, I never wouldve met you. Then, of course, that makes me feel sad, making me feel guilty that Liam had to die in order for me to have you in our lives.
Holy s.h.i.t! I am way overthinking this.
I know that sounds crazy, but its like this huge web of guilt, I confessed.
Listen to me. I turned and faced him. You have every right to feel the way you do. Loss is something that cannot be understood until youve experienced it, so I wont pretend to know what youre feeling, but I will say that its okay to feel sad for Stellas sake. However, its not okay to feel guilty for something you had no control over. Never feel guilty for being happy and moving on.
As Drake spoke, a tear escaped my eye, trailing down my cheek. He wiped it with his thumb and kissed it.
Liam was extremely lucky to have you both in his life. And I feel incredibly blessed to have you both in mine. But thats the way fate worked out. I will forever be in Liams debt, knowing what he gave up for me to have you in my life. Even though it wasnt up to him, he gave me you and Stella. h.e.l.l, you waited four years. Im sure he wouldve wanted you to move on.
I know he would have. And I am truly happy I have. I just cant kick this feeling of guilt for being happy, for starting a new family, for meeting you"knowing it never wouldve happened had he not been in that car that night.
Some things in life are just mere coincidences. Fate takes over, and theres nothing we can do about it.
If only it were that easy Thank you, I said. Thank you for always knowing what to say. And for putting up with my emotional a.s.s.
I vow to put up with that a.s.s for as long as I live. He smirked.
Even if I gain 100 pounds and have a lot of a.s.s?
Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty. I love me some a.s.s. He laughed.
You are so dirty! I playfully smacked him. He grabbed me and pressed me close to his chest. I looked up at him in awe, thinking how did I ever get so lucky to meet Drake.
Drake and I lay in bed for another hour before he had to get ready for work. He was meeting me at two for our ultrasound appointment, so he was going into the office early.
Ill see you at two, baby. Make sure Michael gets a wheelchair. I dont want you walking up and down all those stairs at the hospital.
Yes, sir. I saluted and puckered my lips at him.
Youre such a smart a.s.s, he quipped.
Well, I know how much you love a.s.s. I wiggled my eyebrows at him.
He reached down and squeezed my a.s.s before placing a genuine kiss on my mouth. I love you. See you soon, he said, laying one more kiss on my lips before leaving.
Do you want to know the s.e.x of the babies? the ultrasound tech asked.
We really hadnt discussed if we did or not. Weve been so worried about their health that it didnt really matter to us if they were boys or girls.
I do! Stella chimed in. Michael and I surprised her at school, picking her up early so she could come with us.
I laughed. I waited for Drake to respond.
Well, honey, do you? I asked since he didnt say anything.
I"I do if you want to, he stammered.
Are you okay? I quietly asked.
Yeah, Im just"I cant believe how big they are already. Theyve grown so much since your last one.
The doctor ordered ultrasounds once a month from now on so she could keep a close eye on their progress.
Mom, look! Theres fishies in your belly! Stella squealed, pointing at the screen.
I laughed. No, honey, those are the babies.
They look like fish.
Cant argue with a five-year-old.
Well, thats because they arent fully developed yet. Dont worry, theyll look like babies once they come out, the ultrasound tech answered.
I kind of want to be surprised, I said to Drake. What do you think?
I want whatever you want, baby. I can wait if you want to. I smiled back at him.
Yes, lets be surprised.
And how am I suppose to decorate a nursery without knowing the s.e.x? Michael interrupted, pouting.