"h.e.l.lo, Harvey"s."
"This is Barton Dawes," he said.
"Oh, right. Those sh.e.l.ls came in late yesterday afternoon. I told you I"d have them in plenty of time for Christmas. Two hundred rounds."
"Good. Listen, I"m going to be awfully busy this afternoon. Are you open tonight?"
"Open nights until nine right up to Christmas."
"Okay. I"ll try to get in around eight. If not, tomorrow afternoon for sure."
"Good enough. Listen, did you find out if if it was Boca Rio?" it was Boca Rio?"
"Boca " Oh, yes, Boca Rio, where his cousin Nick Adams would soon be hunting. "Boca Rio. Yeah, I think it was."
"Jesus, I envy him. That was the best time I ever had in my life."
"Shaky cease-fire holds," he said. A sudden image came to him of Johnny Walker"s head mounted over Stephan Ordner"s electric log fireplace, with a small polished bronze plaque beneath, saying: h.o.m.o LAUNDROMAT.
November 28, 1973 Bagged on the corner of Deakman "What was that?" Harry Swinnerton asked, puzzled.
"I said, I envy him too," he said, and closed his eyes. A wave of nausea raced through him. I"m cracking up, I"m cracking up, he thought. he thought. This is called cracking up. This is called cracking up.
"Oh. Well, I"ll see you, then."
"Sure. Thanks again, Mr. Swinnerton."
He hung up, opened his eyes, and looked around his denuded office again. He flicked the b.u.t.ton on the intercom.
"Phyllis?"
"Yes, Mr. Dawes?"
"Johnny died. We"re going to shut it down."
"I saw people leaving and thought he must have." Phyllis sounded as if she might have been crying.
"See if you can get Mr. Ordner on the phone before you go, will you?"
"Surely."
He swiveled around in his chair and looked out the window. A road grader, bright orange, was lumbering by with chains on its oversize wheels, lashing at the road. This is their fault, Freddy. All their fault. I was doing okay until those guys down at City Hall decided to rip up my life. I was doing fine, right, Freddy?
Freddy?
Fred?
The phone rang and he picked it up. "Dawes."
"You"ve gone crazy," Steve Ordner said flatly. "Right out of your mind."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that I personally called Mr. Monohan this morning at nine-thirty. The McAn people signed the papers on the Waterford plant at nine o"clock. Now what the f.u.c.k happened, Barton?"
"I think we"d better discuss that in person."
"So do I. And I think you ought to know that you"re going to have to do some fast talking if you want to save your job."
"Stop playing games with me, Steve."
"What?"
"You"ve got no intention of keeping me on, not even as the sweeper. I"ve written my resignation already. It"s sealed up, but I can quote it from memory. "I quit. Signed, Barton George Dawes." "
"But why?" He sounded physically wounded. But he wasn"t whining like Arnie Walker. He doubted if Steve Ordner had done any whining since his eleventh birthday. Whining was the last resort of lesser men.
"Two o"clock?" he asked.
"Two is fine."
"Good-bye, Steve."
"Bart-"
He hung up and looked blankly at the wall. After a while, Phyllis poked her head in, looking tired and nervous and bewildered beneath her smart Older Person hairdo. Seeing her boss sitting quietly in his denuded office did nothing to improve her state of mind.
"Mr. Dawes, should I go? I"d be glad to stay, if-"
"No, go on, Phyllis. Go home."
She seemed to be struggling to say something else, and he turned around and looked out the window, hoping to spare them both embarra.s.sment. After a moment, the door snicked closed, very softly.
Downstairs, the boiler whined and died. Motors began to start up in the parking lot.
He sat in his empty office in the empty laundry until it was time to go and see Ordner. He was saying good-byes.
Ordner"s office was downtown, in one of the new high-rise office buildings that the energy crisis might soon make obsolete. Seventy stories high, all gla.s.s, inefficient to heat in winter, a horror to cool in summer. Amroco"s offices were on the fifty-fourth floor.
He parked his car in the bas.e.m.e.nt parking lot, took the escalator up to lobby level, went through a revolving door, and found the right bank of elevators. He rode up with a black woman who had a large Afro. She was wearing a jumper and was holding a steno notebook.
"I like your Afro," he said abruptly, for no reason.
She looked at him coolly and said nothing. Nothing at all.
The reception room of Stephan Ordner"s office was furnished with free-form chairs and a redheaded secretary who sat beneath a reproduction of Van Gogh"s "Sunflowers." There was an oyster-colored s.h.a.g rug on the floor. Indirect lighting. Indirect Muzak, piping Mantovani.
The redhead smiled at him. She was wearing a black jumper, and her hair was bound with a hank of gold yarn. "Mr. Dawes?"
"Yes. "
"Go right in, please. "
He opened the door and went right in. Ordner was writing something at his desk, which was topped with an impressive slab of Lucite. Behind him, a huge window gave on a western view of the city. He looked up and put his pen down. "h.e.l.lo, Bart," he said quietly.
"h.e.l.lo. "
"Sit down. "
"Is this going to take that long?"
Ordner looked at him fixedly. "I"d like to slap you," he said. "Do you know that? I"d like to slap you all the way around this office. Not hit you or beat you up. Just slap you."
"I know that," he said, and did.
"I don"t think you have any idea of what you threw away," Ordner said. "I suppose the McAn people got to you. I hope they paid you a lot. Because I had you personally earmarked for an executive vice-presidency in this corporation. That would have paid thirty-five thousand a year to start. I hope they paid you more than that."
"They didn"t pay me a cent."
"Is that the truth?"
"Yes."
"Then why, Bart? Why in the name of G.o.d?"
"Why should I tell you, Steve?" He took the chair he was supposed to take, the supplicant"s chair, on the other side of the big, Lucite-topped desk.
For a moment Ordner seemed to be at a loss. He shook his head the way a fighter will when he has been tagged, but not seriously.
"Because you"re my employee. How"s that for a start?"
"Not good enough."
"What does that mean?"
"Steve, I was Ray Tarkington"s employee. He was a real person. You might not have cared for him, but you had to admit he was real. Sometimes when you were talking to him he broke wind or burped or picked dead skin out of his ear. He had real problems. Sometimes I was one of them. Once, when I made a bad decision about billing a motel out in Crager Plaza, he threw me against a door. You"re not like him. The Blue Ribbon is Tinkertoys to you, Steve. You don"t care about me. You care about your own upward mobility. So don"t give me that employee s.h.i.t. Don"t pretend you stuck your c.o.c.k in my mouth and I bit it."
If Ordner"s face was a facade, there was no crack in it. His features continued to register modulated distress, no more. "Do you really believe that?" Ordner asked.
"Yes. You only give a d.a.m.n about the Blue Ribbon as it affects your status in the corporation. So let"s cut the s.h.i.t. Here." He slid his resignation across the Lucite top of the desk.
Ordner gave his head another little shake. "And what about the people you"ve hurt, Bart? The little people. Everything else aside, you were in a position of importance." He seemed to taste the phrase. "What about the people at the laundry who are going to lose their jobs because there"s no new plant to switch to?"
He laughed harshly and said: "You cheap son of a b.i.t.c.h. You"re too f.u.c.king high to see down, aren"t you?"
Ordner colored. He said carefully: "You better explain that, Bart."
"Every single wage earner at the laundry, from Tom Granger on down to Pollack in the washroom, has unemployment insurance. It"s theirs. They pay for it. If you"re having trouble with that concept, think of it as a business deduction. Like a four-drink lunch at Benjamin"s."
Stung, Ordner said, "That"s welfare money and you know it. "
He reiterated: "You cheap son of a b.i.t.c.h."
Ordners"s hands came together and formed a double fist. They clenched together like the hands of a child that has been taught to say the Lord"s Prayer by his bed. "You"re overstepping yourself, Bart."
"No, I"m not. You called me here. You asked me to explain. What did you want to hear me say? I"m sorry, I screwed up, I"ll make rest.i.tution? I can"t say that. I"m not sorry. I"m not going to make rest.i.tution. And if I screwed up, that"s between me and Mary. And she"ll never even know, not for sure. Are you going to tell me I hurt the corporation? I don"t think even you are capable of such a lie. After a corporation gets to a certain size, nothing can hurt it. It gets to be an act of G.o.d. When things are good it makes a huge profit, and when times are bad it just makes a profit, and when things go to h.e.l.l it takes a tax deduction. Now you know that. "
Ordner said carefully: "What about your own future? What about Mary"s?"
"You don"t care about that. It"s just a lever you think you might be able to use. Let me ask you something, Steve. Is this going to hurt you? Is it going to cut into your salary? Into your yearly dividend? Into your retirement fund?"
Ordner shook his head. "Go on home, Bart. You"re not yourself."
"Why? Because I"m talking about you and not just about bucks?"
"You"re disturbed, Bart."
"You don"t know," he said, standing up and planting his fists on the Lucite top of Ordner"s desk. "You"re mad at me but you don"t know why. Someone told you that if a situation like this ever came up you should be mad. But you don"t know why. "
Ordner repeated carefully: "You"re disturbed."
"You"re d.a.m.n right I am. What are you?"
"Go home, Bart."
"No, but I"ll leave you alone and that"s what you want. Just answer one question. For one second stop being the corporation man and answer one question for me. Do you care about this? Does any of it mean a d.a.m.n to you?"
Ordner looked at him for what seemed a long time. The city was spread out behind him like a kingdom of towers, wrapped in grayness and mist. He said: "No."
"All right," he said softly. He looked at Ordner without animosity. "I didn"t do it to screw you. Or the corporation. "
"Then why? I answered your question. You answer mine. You could have signed on the Waterford plant. After that it would have been someone else"s worry. Why didn"t you?"
He said: "I can"t explain. I listened to myself. But people talk a different language inside. It sounds like the worst kind of s.h.i.t if you try to talk about it. But it was the right thing. "
Ordner looked at him unflinchingly. "And Mary?"
He was silent.
"Go home, Bart, Ordner said.
"What do you want, Steve?"
Ordner shook his head impatiently. "We"re done, Bart. If you want to have an encounter session with someone, go to a bar."
"What do you want from me?"