All the factors of this life--his work, his influence, his recovered health, the lavish beauty of the country, Elsmere enjoyed with all his heart. But at the root of all there lay what gave value and savour to everything else--that exquisite home-life of theirs, that tender, triple bond of husband, wife, and child.
Catherine, coming home tired from teaching or visiting, would find her step quickening as she reached the gate of the rectory, and the sense of delicious possession waking up in her, which is one of the first fruits of motherhood. There, at the window, between the lamplight behind and the winter dusk outside, would be the child in its nurse"s arms, little wondering, motiveless smiles pa.s.sing over the tiny puckered face that was so oddly like Robert already. And afterwards, in the fire-lit nursery, with the bath in front of the high fender, and all the necessaries of baby life beside it, she would go through those functions which mothers love and linger over, let the kicking dimpled creature princ.i.p.ally concerned protest as it may against the over-refinements of civilisation. Then, when the little restless voice was stilled, and the cradle left silent in the darkened room, there would come the short watching for Robert, his voice, his kiss, their simple meal together, a moment of rest, of laughter and chat, before some fresh effort claimed them. Every now and then--white-letter days--there would drop on them a long evening together. Then out would come one or the few books--Dante or Virgil or Milton--which had entered into the fibre of Catherine"s strong nature. The two heads would draw close over them, or Robert would take some thought of hers as a text, and spout away from the hearthrug, watching all the while for her smile, her look of a.s.sent. Sometimes, late at night, when there was a sermon on his mind, he would dive into his pocket for his Greek Testament and make her read, partly for the sake of teaching her--for she knew some Greek and longed to know more--but mostly that he might get from her some of that garnered wealth of spiritual experience which he adored in her. They would go from verse to verse, from thought to thought, till suddenly perhaps the tide of feeling would rise, and while the wind swept round the house, and the owls hooted in the elms, they would sit hand in hand, lost in love and faith,--Christ near them--Eternity, warm with G.o.d, enwrapping them.
So much for the man of action, the husband, the philanthropist. In reality, great as was the moral energy of this period of Elsmere"s life, the dominant distinguishing note of it was not moral but intellectual.
In matters of conduct he was but developing habits and tendencies already strongly present in him; in matters of thinking, with every month of this winter he was becoming conscious of fresh forces, fresh hunger, fresh horizons.
"_One half of your day be the king of your world_," Mr. Grey had said to him; "_the other half be the slave of something which will take you out of your world_, into the general life, the life of thought, of man as a whole, of the universe."
The counsel, as we have seen, had struck root and flowered into action.
So many men of Elsmere"s type give themselves up once and for all as they become mature to the life of doing and feeling, practically excluding the life of thought. It was Henry Grey"s influence in all probability, perhaps, too, the training of an earlier Langham, that saved for Elsmere the life of thought.
The form taken by this training of his own mind he had been thus encouraged not to abandon, was, as we know, the study of history. He had well mapped out before him that book on the origins of France which he had described to Langham. It was to take him years, of course, and meanwhile, in his first enthusiasm, he was like a child, revelling in the treasure of work that lay before him. As he had told Langham, he had just got below the surface of a great subject and was beginning to dig into the roots of it. Hitherto he had been under the guidance of men of his own day, of the nineteenth century historian, who refashions the past on the lines of his own mind, who gives it rationality, coherence, and, as it were, modernness, so that the main impression he produces on us, so long as we look at that past through him only, is on the whole an impression of _continuity_, of _resemblance_.
Whereas, on the contrary, the first impression left on a man by the attempt to plunge into the materials of history for himself is almost always an extraordinarily sharp impression of _difference_, of _contrast_. Ultimately, of course, he sees that these men and women whose letters and biographies, whose creeds and general conceptions he is investigating, are in truth his ancestors, bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh. But at first the student who goes back, say, in the history of Europe, behind the Renaissance or behind the Crusades into the actual deposits of the past, is often struck with a kind of _vertige_. The men and women whom he has dragged forth into the light of his own mind are to him like some strange puppet-show. They are called by names he knows--kings, bishops, judges, poets, priests, men of letters--but what a gulf between him and them! What motives, what beliefs, what embryonic processes of thought and morals, what bizarre combinations of ignorance and knowledge, of the highest sanct.i.ty with the lowest credulity or falsehood; what extraordinary prepossessions, born with a man and tainting his whole ways of seeing and thinking from childhood to the grave! Amid all the intellectual dislocation of the spectacle, indeed, he perceives certain Greeks and certain Latins who represent a forward strain, who belong as it seems to a world of their own, a world ahead of them. To them he stretches out his hand: "_You_," he says to them, "though your priests spoke to you not of Christ, but of Zeus and Artemis, _you_ are really my kindred!" But intellectually they stand alone. Around them, after them, for long ages the world "spake as a child, felt as a child, understood as a child."
Then he sees what it is makes the difference, digs the gulf.
"_Science_," the mind cries, "_ordered knowledge_." And so for the first time the modern recognises what the acc.u.mulations of his forefathers have done for him. He takes the torch which man has been so long and patiently fashioning to his hand, and turns it on the past, and at every step the sight grows stranger, and yet more moving, more pathetic. The darkness into which he penetrates does but make him grasp his own guiding light the more closely. And yet, bit by bit, it has been prepared for him by these groping half conscious generations, and the scrutiny which began in repulsion and laughter ends in a marvelling grat.i.tude.
But the repulsion and the laughter come first, and during this winter of work Elsmere felt them both very strongly. He would sit in the morning buried among the records of decaying Rome and emerging France, surrounded by Chronicles, by Church Councils, by lives of the Saints, by primitive systems of law, pushing his imaginative impetuous way through them. Sometimes Catherine would be there, and he would pour out on her something of what was in his own mind.
One day he was deep in the life of a certain saint. The saint had been bishop of a diocese in Southern France. His biographer was his successor in the see, a man of high political importance in the Burgundian state, renowned besides for sanct.i.ty and learning. Only some twenty years separated the biography, at the latest, from the death of its subject.
It contained some curious material for social history, and Robert was reading it with avidity. But it was, of course, a tissue of marvels. The young bishop had practised every virtue known to the time, and wrought every conceivable miracle, and the miracles were better told than usual, with more ingenuity, more imagination. Perhaps on that account they struck the reader"s sense more sharply.
"And the saint said to the sorcerers and to the practisers of unholy arts, that they should do those evil things no more, for he had bound the spirits of whom they were wont to inquire, and they would get no further answers to their incantations. Then those stiff-necked sons of the devil fell upon the man of G.o.d, scourged him sore, and threatened him with death, if he would not instantly loose those spirits he had bound. And seeing he could prevail nothing, and being, moreover, admonished by G.o.d so to do, he permitted them to work their own d.a.m.nation. For he called for a parchment and wrote upon it, "_Ambrose unto Satan--Enter!_" Then was the spell loosed, the spirits returned, the sorcerers inquired as they were accustomed, and received answers.
But in a short s.p.a.ce of time every one of them perished miserably and was delivered unto his natural lord Satanas, whereunto he belonged."
Robert made a hasty exclamation, and turning to Catherine, who was working beside him, read the pa.s.sage to her, with a few words as to the book and its author.
Catherine"s work dropped a moment on to her knee.
"What extraordinary superst.i.tion!" she said, startled. "A bishop, Robert, and an educated man?"
Robert nodded.
"But it is the whole habit of mind," he said half to himself, staring into the fire, "that is so astounding. No one escapes it. The whole age really is non-sane."
"I suppose the devout Catholic would believe that?"
"I am not sure," said Robert dreamily, and remained sunk in thought for long after, while Catherine worked, and pondered a Christmas entertainment for her girls.
Perhaps it was his scientific work, fragmentary as it was, that was really quickening and sharpening these historical impressions of his.
Evolution--once a mere germ in the mind--was beginning to press, to encroach, to intermeddle with the mind"s other furniture.
And the comparative instinct--that tool, _par excellence_, of modern science--was at last fully awake, was growing fast, taking hold, now here, now there.
"It is tolerably clear to me," he said to himself suddenly one winter afternoon, as he was trudging home alone from Mile End, "that some day or other I must set to work to bring a little order into one"s notions of the Old Testament. At present they are just a chaos!"
He walked on a while, struggling with the rainstorm which had overtaken him, till again the mind"s quick life took voice.
"But what matter? G.o.d in the beginning--G.o.d in the prophets--in Israel"s best life--G.o.d in Christ! How are any theories about the Pentateuch to touch that?"
And into the clear eyes, the young face aglow with wind and rain, there leapt a light, a softness indescribable.
But the vivider and the keener grew this new mental life of Elsmere"s, the more constant became his sense of soreness as to that foolish and motiveless quarrel which divided him from the squire. Naturally he was for ever being hara.s.sed and pulled up in his work by the mere loss of the Murewell library. To have such a collection so close, and to be cut off from it, was a state of things no student could help feeling severely. But it was much more than that: it was the man he hankered after; the man who was a master where he was a beginner; the man who had given his life to learning, and was carrying all his vast acc.u.mulations sombrely to the grave, unused, untransmitted.
"He might have given me his knowledge," thought Elsmere sadly, "and I--I--would have been a son to him. Why is life so perverse?"
Meanwhile he was as much cut off from the great house and its master as though both had been surrounded by the thorn hedge of fairy tale. The Hall had its visitors during these winter months, but the Elsmeres saw nothing of them. Robert gulped down a natural sigh when one Sat.u.r.day evening, as he pa.s.sed the Hall gates, he saw driving through them the chief of English science side by side with the most accomplished of English critics.
""There are good times in the world and I ain"t in "em!"" he said to himself with a laugh and a shrug as he turned up the lane to the rectory, and then, boy-like, was ashamed of himself, and greeted Catherine with all the tenderer greeting.
Only on two occasions during three months could he be sure of having seen the squire. Both were in the twilight, when, as the neighbourhood declared, Mr. Wendover always walked, and both made a sharp impression on the rector"s nerves. In the heart of one of the loneliest commons of the parish Robert, swinging along one November evening through the scattered furze bushes, growing ghostly in the darkness, was suddenly conscious of a cloaked figure with slouching shoulders and head bent forward coming towards him. It pa.s.sed without recognition of any kind, and for an instant Robert caught the long sharpened features and haughty eyes of the squire.
At another time Robert was walking, far from home, along a bit of level road. The pools in the ruts were just filmed with frost, and gleamed under the sunset; the winter dusk was clear and chill. A horseman turned into the road from a side lane. It was the squire again, alone. The sharp sound of the approaching hoofs stirred Robert"s pulse, and as they pa.s.sed each other the rector raised his hat. He thought his greeting was acknowledged, but could not be quite sure. From the shelter of a group of trees he stood a moment and looked after the retreating figure. It and the horse showed dark against a wide sky barred by stormy reds and purples. The wind whistled through the withered oaks; the long road with its lines of glimmering pools seemed to stretch endlessly into the sunset; and with every minute the night strode on. Age and loneliness could have found no fitter setting. A shiver ran through Elsmere as he stepped forward.
Undoubtedly the quarrel, helped by his work, and the perpetual presence of that beautiful house commanding the whole country round it from its plateau above the river, kept Elsmere specially in mind of the squire.
As before their first meeting, and in spite of it, he became more and more imaginatively preoccupied with him. One of the signs of it was a strong desire to read the squire"s two famous books: one, _The Idols of the Market-place_, an attack on English beliefs; the other, _Essays on English Culture_, an attack on English ideals of education. He had never come across them as it happened, and perhaps Newcome"s denunciation had some effect in inducing him for a time to refrain from reading them. But in December he ordered them and waited their coming with impatience. He said nothing of the order to Catherine; somehow there were by now two or three portions of his work, two or three branches of his thought, which had fallen out of their common discussion. After all she was not literary, and with all their oneness of soul there could not be an _ident.i.ty_ of interests or pursuits.
The books arrived in the morning. (Oh, how dismally well, with what a tightening of the heart, did Robert always remember that day in after years!) He was much too busy to look at them, and went off to a meeting.
In the evening, coming home late from his night-school, he found Catherine tired, sent her to bed, and went himself into his study to put together some notes for a cottage lecture he was to give the following day. The packet of books, unopened, lay on his writing-table.
He took off the wrapper, and in his eager way fell to reading the first he touched.
It was the first volume of _The Idols of the Market-place_.
Ten or twelve years before, Mr. Wendover had launched this book into a startled and protesting England. It had been the fruit of his first renewal of contact with English life and English ideas after his return from Berlin. Fresh from the speculative ferment of Germany and the far profaner scepticism of France, he had returned to a society where the first chapter of Genesis and the theory of verbal inspiration were still regarded as valid and important counters on the board of thought. The result had been this book. In it each stronghold of English popular religion had been a.s.sailed in turn, at a time when English orthodoxy was a far more formidable thing than it is now.
The Pentateuch, the Prophets, the Gospels, St. Paul, Tradition, the Fathers, Protestantism and Justification by Faith, the Eighteenth Century, the Broad Church Movement, Anglican Theology--the squire had his say about them all. And while the coolness and frankness of the method sent a shock of indignation and horror through the religious public, the subtle and caustic style, and the epigrams with which the book was strewn, forced both the religious and irreligious public to read, whether they would or no. A storm of controversy rose round the volumes, and some of the keenest observers of English life had said at the time, and maintained since, that the publication of the book had made or marked an epoch.
Robert had lit on those pages in the Essay on the Gospels where the squire fell to a.n.a.lysing the evidence for the Resurrection, following up his a.n.a.lysis by an attempt at reconstructing the conditions out of which the belief in "the legend" arose. Robert began to read vaguely at first, then to hurry on through page after page, still standing, seized at once by the bizarre power of the style, the audacity and range of the treatment.
Not a sound in the house. Outside, the tossing moaning December night; inside, the faintly crackling fire, the standing figure. Suddenly it was to Robert as though a cruel torturing hand were laid upon his inmost being. His breath failed him; the book slipped out of his grasp; he sank down upon his chair, his head in his hands. Oh, what a desolate intolerable moment! Over the young idealist soul there swept a dry destroying whirlwind of thought. Elements gathered from all sources--from his own historical work, from the squire"s book, from the secret half-conscious recesses of the mind--entered into it, and as it pa.s.sed it seemed to scorch the heart.
He stayed bowed there a while, then he roused himself with a half-groan, and hastily extinguishing his lamp he groped his way upstairs to his wife"s room. Catherine lay asleep. The child, lost among its white coverings, slept too; there was a dim light over the bed, the books, the pictures. Beside his wife"s pillow was a table on which there lay open her little Testament and the _Imitation_ her father had given her.
Elsmere sank down beside her, appalled by the contrast between this soft religious peace and that black agony of doubt which still overshadowed him. He knelt there, restraining his breath lest it should wake her, wrestling piteously with himself, crying for pardon, for faith, feeling himself utterly unworthy to touch even the dear hand that lay so near him. But gradually the traditional forces of his life rea.s.serted themselves. The horror lifted. Prayer brought comfort and a pa.s.sionate healing self-abas.e.m.e.nt. "Master, forgive--defend--purify," cried the aching heart. "_There is none other that fighteth for us, but only Thou, O G.o.d!_"
He did not open the book again. Next morning he put it back into his shelves. If there were any Christian who could affront such an antagonist with a light heart, he felt with a shudder of memory it was not he.
"I have neither learning nor experience enough--yet," he said to himself slowly as he moved away, "of course it can be met, but _I_ must grow; must think--first."
And of that night"s wrestle he said not a word to any living soul. He did penance for it in the tenderest, most secret ways, but he shrank in misery from the thought of revealing it even to Catherine.