After her letter to him, Catherine had an interview with the vicar at his home. She was puzzled by the start and sudden pause for recollection with which he received her name, the tone of compa.s.sion which crept into his talk with her, the pitying look and grasp of the hand with which he dismissed her. Then, as she walked home, it flashed upon her that she had seen a copy, some weeks old, of the _Record_ lying on the good man"s table, the very copy which contained Robert"s name among the list of men who during the last ten years had thrown up the Anglican ministry. The delicate face flushed miserably from brow to chin. Pitied for being Robert"s wife! Oh, monstrous!--incredible!
Meanwhile Robert, man-like, in spite of all the griefs and sorenesses of the position, had immeasurably the best of it. In the first place such incessant activity of mind as his is in itself both tonic and narcotic.
It was constantly generating in him fresh purposes and hopes, constantly deadening regret, and pushing the old things out of sight. He was full of many projects, literary and social, but they were all in truth the fruits of one long experimental process, the pa.s.sionate attempt of the reason to justify to itself the G.o.d in whom the heart believed. Abstract thought, as Mr. Grey saw, had had comparatively little to do with Elsmere"s relinquishment of the Church of England. But as soon as the Christian bases of faith were overthrown, that faith had naturally to find for itself other supports and attachments. For faith itself--in G.o.d and a spiritual order--had been so wrought into the nature by years of reverent and adoring living that nothing could destroy it. With Elsmere, as with all men of religious temperament, belief in Christianity and faith in G.o.d had not at the outset been a matter of reasoning at all, but of sympathy, feeling, a.s.sociation, daily experience. Then the intellect had broken in, and destroyed or transformed the belief in Christianity. But after the crash, _faith_ emerged as strong as ever, only craving and eager to make a fresh peace, a fresh compact with the reason.
Elsmere had heard Grey say long ago in one of the few moments of real intimacy he had enjoyed with him at Oxford, "My interest in philosophy springs solely from the chance it offers me of knowing something more of G.o.d!" Driven by the same thirst he too threw himself into the same quest, pushing his way laboriously through the philosophical borderlands of science, through the ethical speculation of the day, through the history of man"s moral and religious past. And while on the one hand the intellect was able to contribute an ever stronger support to the faith which was the man, on the other the sphere in him of a patient ignorance which abstains from all attempts at knowing what man cannot know, and subst.i.tutes trust for either knowledge or despair, was perpetually widening. "I take my stand on conscience and the moral life!" was the upshot of it all. "In them I find my G.o.d! As for all these various problems, ethical and scientific, which you press upon me, my pessimist friend, I, too, am bewildered; I, too, have no explanation to offer. But I trust and wait. In spite of them--beyond them--I have abundantly enough for faith--for hope--for action!"
We may quote a pa.s.sage or two from some letters of his written at this time to that young Armitstead who had taken his place at Murewell, and was still there till Mowbray Elsmere should appoint a new man.
Armitstead had been a college friend of Elsmere"s. He was a High Churchman of a singularly gentle and delicate type, and the manner in which he had received Elsmere"s story on the day of his arrival at Murewell had permanently endeared him to the teller of it. At the same time the defection from Christianity of a man who at Oxford had been to him the object of much hero-worship, and, since Oxford, an example of pastoral efficiency, had painfully affected young Armitstead, and he began a correspondence with Robert which was in many ways a relief to both. In Switzerland and Italy, when his wife"s gentle inexorable silence became too oppressive to him, Robert would pour himself out in letters to Armitstead, and the correspondence did not altogether cease with his return to London. To the squire during the same period Elsmere also wrote frequently, but rarely or never on religious matters.
On one occasion Armitstead had been pressing the favourite Christian dilemma--Christianity or nothing. Inside Christianity, light and certainty; outside it, chaos. "If it were not for the Gospels and the Church I should be a Positivist to-morrow. Your Theism is a mere arbitrary hypothesis, at the mercy of any rival philosophical theory.
How, regarding our position as precarious, you should come to regard your own as stable, is to me incomprehensible!"
"What I conceive to be the vital difference between Theism and Christianity," wrote Elsmere in reply, "is that as an explanation of things _Theism can never be disproved_. At the worst it must always remain in the position of an alternative hypothesis, which the hostile man of science cannot destroy, though he is under no obligation to adopt it. Broadly speaking, it is not the facts which are in dispute, but the inference to be drawn from them.
"Now, considering the enormous complication of the facts, the Theistic inference will, to put it at the lowest, always have its place, always command respect. The man of science may not adopt it, but by no advance of science that I, at any rate, can foresee, can it be driven out of the field.
"Christianity is in a totally different position. Its grounds are not philosophical but literary and historical. It rests not upon all fact, but upon a special group of facts. It is, and will always remain, a great literary and historical problem, a _question of doc.u.ments and testimony_. Hence, the Christian explanation is vulnerable in a way in which the Theistic explanation can never be vulnerable. The contention, at any rate, of persons in my position is: That to the man who has had the special training required, and in whom this training has not been neutralised by any overwhelming bias of temperament, it can be as clearly demonstrated that the miraculous Christian story rests on a tissue of mistake, as it can be demonstrated that the Isidorian Decretals were a forgery, or the correspondence of Paul and Seneca a pious fraud, or that the mediaeval belief in witchcraft was the product of physical ignorance and superst.i.tion."
"You say," he wrote again, in another connection, to Armitstead from Milan, "you say you think my later letters have been far too aggressive and positive. I, too, am astonished at myself. I do not know my own mood, it is so clear, so sharp, so combative. Is it the spectacle of Italy, I wonder--of a country practically without religion--the spectacle in fact of Latin Europe as a whole, and the practical Atheism in which it is ingulfed? My dear friend, the problem of the world at this moment is--_how to find a religion?_--some great conception which shall be once more capable, as the old were capable, of welding societies, and keeping man"s brutish elements in check. Surely Christianity of the traditional sort is failing everywhere--less obviously with us, and in Teutonic Europe generally, but egregiously, notoriously, in all the Catholic countries. We talk complacently of the decline of Buddhism. But what have we to say of the decline of Christianity? And yet this last is infinitely more striking and more tragic, inasmuch as it affects a more important section of mankind. I, at any rate, am not one of those who would seek to minimise the results of this decline for human life, nor can I bring myself to believe that Positivism or "evolutional morality" will ever satisfy the race.
"In the period of social struggle which undeniably lies before us, both in the old and the new world, are we then to witness a war of cla.s.ses, unsoftened by the ideal hopes, the ideal law, of faith? It looks like it. What does the artisan cla.s.s, what does the town democracy throughout Europe, care any longer for Christian checks or Christian sanctions as they have been taught to understand them? Superst.i.tion, in certain parts of rural Europe, there is in plenty, but wherever you get intelligence and therefore movement, you get at once either indifference to, or a pa.s.sionate break with, Christianity. And consider what it means, what it will mean, this Atheism of the great democracies which are to be our masters! The world has never seen anything like it; such spiritual anarchy and poverty combined with such material power and resource.
Every society--Christian and non-Christian--has always till now had its ideal, of greater or less ethical value, its appeal to something beyond man. Has Christianity brought us to this: that the Christian nations are to be the first in the world"s history to try the experiment of a life without faith--that life which you and I, at any rate, are agreed in thinking a life worthy only of the brute?
"Oh forgive me! These things must hurt you--they would have hurt me in old days--but they burn within me, and you bid me speak out. What if it be G.o.d Himself who is driving His painful lesson home to me, to you, to the world? What does it mean, this gradual growth of what we call infidelity, of criticism and science on the one hand, this gradual death of the old traditions on the other? _Sin_, you answer, _the enmity of the human mind against G.o.d, the momentary triumph of Satan._ And so you acquiesce, heavy-hearted, in G.o.d"s present defeat, looking for vengeance and requital hereafter. Well, I am not so ready to believe in man"s capacity to rebel against his Maker! Where you see ruin and sin, I see the urgent process of Divine education, G.o.d"s steady ineluctable command "to put away childish things," the pressure of His spirit on ours towards new ways of worship and new forms of love!"
And after a while, it was with these "new ways of worship and new forms of love" that the mind began to be perpetually occupied. The break with the old things was no sooner complete than the eager soul, incapable then, as always, of resting in negation or opposition, pressed pa.s.sionately forward to a new synthesis, not only speculative, but practical. Before it rose perpetually the haunting vision of another palace of faith--another church or company of the faithful, which was to become the shelter of human aspiration amid the desolation and anarchy caused by the crashing of the old! How many men and women must have gone through the same strait as itself--how many must be watching with it through the darkness for the rising of a new City of G.o.d!
One afternoon, close upon Christmas, he found himself in Parliament Square, on his way towards Westminster Bridge and the Embankment. The beauty of a sunset sky behind the Abbey arrested him, and he stood leaning over the railings beside the Peel statue to look.
The day before he had pa.s.sed the same spot with a German friend. His companion--a man of influence and mark in his own country, who had been brought up, however, in England, and knew it well--had stopped before the Abbey and had said to him with emphasis: "I never find myself in this particular spot of London without a sense of emotion and reverence.
Other people feel that in treading the Forum of Rome they are at the centre of human things. I am more thrilled by Westminster than Rome; your venerable Abbey is to me the symbol of a nationality to which the modern world owes obligations it can never repay. You are rooted deep in the past; you have also a future of infinite expansiveness stretching before you. Among European nations at this moment you alone have freedom in the true sense, you alone have religion. I would give a year of life to know what you will have made of your freedom and your religion two hundred years hence!"
As Robert recalled the words, the Abbey lay before him, wrapped in the bluish haze of the winter afternoon. Only the towers rose out of the mist, gray and black against the red bands of cloud. A pair of pigeons circled round them, as careless and free in flight as though they were alone with the towers and the sunset. Below, the streets were full of people; the omnibuses rolled to and fro; the lamps were just lit; lines of straggling figures, dark in the half light, were crossing the street here and there. And to all the human rush and swirl below, the quiet of the Abbey and the infinite red distances of sky gave a peculiar pathos and significance.
Robert filled his eye and sense, and then walked quickly away towards the Embankment. Carrying the poetry and grandeur of England"s past with him, he turned his face eastward to the great new-made London on the other side of St. Paul"s, the London of the democracy, of the nineteenth century, and of the future. He was wrestling with himself, a prey to one of those critical moments of life, when circ.u.mstance seems once more to restore to us the power of choice, of distributing a Yes or a No among the great solicitations which meet the human spirit on its path from silence to silence. The thought of his friend"s reverence, and of his own personal debt towards the country to whose long travail of centuries he owed all his own joys and faculties, was hot within him.
"Here and here did England help me--how can I help England,--say!"
Ah! that vast chaotic London south and east of the great church! He already knew something of it. A Liberal clergyman there, settled in the very blackest, busiest heart of it, had already made him welcome on Mr.
Grey"s introduction. He had gone with this good man on several occasions through some little fraction of that teeming world, now so hidden and peaceful between the murky river mists and the cleaner light-filled grays of the sky. He had heard much, and pondered a good deal, the quick mind caught at once by the differences, some tragic, some merely curious and stimulating, between the monotonous life of his own rural folk, and the mad rush, the voracious hurry, the bewildering appearances and disappearances, the sudden ingulfments, of working London.
Moreover, he had spent a Sunday or two wandering among the East End churches. There, rather than among the streets and courts outside, as it had seemed to him, lay the tragedy of the city. Such emptiness, such desertion, such a hopeless breach between the great craving need outside and the boon offered it within! Here and there, indeed, a patch of bright coloured success, as it claimed to be, where the primitive tendency of man towards the organised excitement of religious ritual, visible in all nations and civilisations, had been appealed to with more energy and more results than usual. But in general, blank failure, or rather obvious want of success--as the devoted men now beating the void there were themselves the first to admit, with pain and patient submission to the inscrutable Will of G.o.d.
But is it not time we a.s.sured ourselves, he was always asking, whether G.o.d is still in truth behind the offer man is perpetually making to his brother man on His behalf? He was behind it once, and it had efficacy, had power. But now--what if all these processes of so-called destruction and decay were but the mere workings of that divine plastic force which is for ever moulding human society? What if these beautiful venerable things which had fallen from him, as from thousands of his fellows, represented, in the present stage of the world"s history, not the props, but the hindrances, of man?
And if all these large things were true, as he believed, what should be the individual"s part in this transition England? Surely, at the least, a part of plain sincerity of act and speech--a correspondence as perfect as could be reached between the inner faith and the outer word and deed.
So much, at the least, was clearly required of him!
"Do not imagine, he said to himself, as though with a fierce dread of possible self-delusion, "that it is in you to play any great, any commanding part. Shun the thought of it, if it were possible! But let me do what is given me to do! Here, in this human wilderness, may I spend whatever of time or energy or faculty may be mine, in the faithful attempt to help forward the new House of Faith that is to be, though my utmost efforts should but succeed in laying some obscure stone in still unseen foundations! Let me try and hand on to some other human soul, or souls, before I die, the truth which has freed, and which is now sustaining, my own heart. Can any man do more? Is not every man who feels any certainty in him whatever bound to do as much? What matter if the wise folk scoff, if even at times, and in a certain sense, one seems to one"s self ridiculous--absurdly lonely and powerless! All great changes are preceded by numbers of sporadic, and as the bystander thinks, impotent efforts. But while the individual effort sinks, drowned perhaps in mockery, the general movement quickens, gathers force we know not how, and--
"While the tired wave vainly breaking, Seems here no painful inch to gain, Far back through creeks and inlets making, Comes silent, flooding in the main!"
Darkness sank over the river; all the gray and purple distance with its dim edge of spires and domes against the sky, all the vague intervening blacknesses of street, or bridge, or railway station were starred and patterned with lights. The vastness, the beauty of the city filled him with a sense of mysterious attraction, and as he walked on with his face uplifted to it, it was as though he took his life in his hand and flung it afresh into the human gulf.
"What does it matter if one"s work be raw and uncomely! All that lies outside the great organised traditions of an age must always look so.
Let me bear my witness bravely, not spending life in speech, but not undervaluing speech--above all, not being ashamed or afraid of it, because other wise people may prefer a policy of silence. A man has but the one puny life, the one tiny spark of faith. Better be venturesome with both for G.o.d"s sake, than over-cautious, over-thrifty. And--to his own Master he standeth or falleth!"
Plans of work of all kinds, literary and practical, thoughts of preaching in some bare hidden room to men and women orphaned and stranded like himself, began to crowd upon him. The old clerical instinct in him winced at some of them. Robert had nothing of the sectary about him by nature; he was always too deeply and easily affected by the great historic existences about him. But when the Oxford man or the ex-official of one of the most venerable and decorous of societies protested, the believer, or, if you will, the enthusiast, put the protest by.
And so the dream gathered substance and stayed with him, till at last he found himself at his own door. As he closed it behind him, Catherine came out into the pretty old hall from the dining-room.
"Robert, have you walked all the way?"
"Yes. I came along the Embankment. Such a beautiful evening!"
He slipped his arm inside hers, and they mounted the stairs together.
She glanced at him wistfully. She was perfectly aware that these months were to him months of incessant travail of spirit, and she caught at this moment the old strenuous look of eye and brow she knew so well. A year ago, and every thought of his mind had been open to her--and now--she herself had shut them out--but her heart sank within her.
She turned and kissed him. He bent his head fondly over her. But inwardly all the ardour of his mood collapsed at the touch of her. For the protests of a world in arms can be withstood with joy, but the protest that steals into your heart, that takes love"s garb and uses love"s ways--_there_ is the difficulty!
CHAPTER x.x.xIII
But Robert was some time in finding his opening, in realising any fraction of his dream. At first he tried work under the Broad Church vicar to whom Grey had introduced him. He undertook some rent-collecting, and some evening lectures on elementary science to boys and men. But after a while he began to feel his position false and unsatisfactory. In truth, his opinions were in the main identical with those of the vicar under whom he was acting. But Mr. Vernon was a Broad Churchman, belonged to the Church Reform movement, and thought it absolutely necessary to "keep things going," and by a policy of prudent silence and gradual expansion from within, to save the great "plant" of the Establishment from falling wholesale into the hands of the High Churchmen. In consequence he was involved, as Robert held, in endless contradictions and practical falsities of speech and action. His large church was attended by a handful of some fifty to a hundred persons.
Vernon could not preach what he did believe, and would not preach, more than was absolutely necessary, what he did not believe. He was hard-working and kind-hearted, but the perpetual divorce between thought and action, which his position made inevitable, was constantly blunting and weakening all he did. His whole life, indeed, was one long waste of power, simply for lack of an elementary frankness.
But if these became Robert"s views as to Vernon, Vernon"s feeling towards Elsmere after six weeks" acquaintance was not less decided. He was const.i.tutionally timid, and he probably divined in his new helper a man of no ordinary calibre, whose influence might very well turn out some day to be of the "incalculably diffusive" kind. He grew uncomfortable, begged Elsmere to beware of any "direct religious teaching," talked in warm praise of a "policy of omissions," and in equally warm denunciation of "anything like a policy of attack." In short, it became plain that two men so much alike, and yet so different, could not long co-operate.
However, just as the fact was being brought home to Elsmere, a friendly chance intervened.
Hugh Flaxman, the Leyburns" new acquaintance and Lady Helen"s brother, had been drawn to Elsmere at first sight; and a meeting or two, now at Lady Charlotte"s, now at the Leyburns", had led both men far on the way to a friendship. Of Hugh Flaxman himself more hereafter. At present all that need be recorded is that it was at Mr. Flaxman"s house, overlooking St. James"s Park, Robert first met a man who was to give him the opening for which he was looking.
Mr. Flaxman was fond of breakfast parties _a la_ Rogers, and on the first occasion when Robert could be induced to attend one of these functions, he saw opposite to him what he supposed to be a lad of twenty, a young slip of a fellow, whose sallies of fun and invincible good humour attracted him greatly.
Sparkling brown eyes, full lips rich in humour and pugnacity, "lockes crull as they were layde in presse," the same look of "wonderly"
activity too, in spite of his short stature and dainty make, as Chaucer lends his squire--the type was so fresh and pleasing that Robert was more and more held by it, especially when he discovered to his bewilderment that the supposed stripling must be from his talk a man quite as old as himself, an official besides, filling what was clearly some important place in the world. He took his full share in the politics and literature started at the table, and presently, when conversation fell on the proposed munic.i.p.ality for London, said things to which the whole party listened. Robert"s curiosity was aroused, and after breakfast he questioned his host and was promptly introduced to "Mr. Murray Edwardes."
Whereupon it turned out that this baby-faced sage was filling a post, in the work of which perhaps few people in London could have taken so much interest as Robert Elsmere.
Fifty years before, a wealthy merchant who had been one of the chief pillars of London Unitarianism had made his will and died. His great warehouses lay in one of the Eastern riverside districts of the city, and in his will he endeavoured to do something according to his lights for the place in which he had ama.s.sed his money. He left a fairly large bequest wherewith to build and endow a Unitarian chapel and found certain Unitarian charities, in the heart of what was even then one of the densest and most poverty-stricken of London parishes. For a long time, however, chapel and charities seemed likely to rank as one of the idle freaks of religious wealth and nothing more. Unitarianism of the old sort is perhaps the most illogical creed that exists, and certainly it has never been the creed of the poor. In old days it required the presence of a certain arid stratum of the middle cla.s.ses to live and thrive at all. This stratum was not to be found in R----, which rejoiced instead in the most squalid types of poverty and crime, types wherewith the mild shrivelled Unitarian minister had about as much power of grappling as a Poet Laureate with a Trafalgar Square Socialist.
Soon after the erection of the chapel, there arose that shaking of the dry bones of religious England which we call the Tractarian movement.
For many years the new force left R---- quite undisturbed. The parish church droned away, the Unitarian minister preached decorously to empty benches, knowing nothing of the agitations outside. At last, however, towards the end of the old minister"s life, a powerful church of the new type, staffed by friends and pupils of Pusey, rose in the centre of R----, and the little Unitarian chapel was for a time more snuffed out than ever, a fate which this time it shared dismally with the parish church. As generally happened, however, in those days, the proceedings at this new and splendid St. Wilfrid"s were not long in stirring up the Protestantism of the British rough,--the said Protestantism being always one of the finest excuses for brickbats of which the modern c.o.c.kney is master. The parish lapsed into a state of private war--hectic clergy heading exasperated processions or intoning defiant Litanies on the one side,--mobs, rotten eggs, dead cats, and blatant Protestant orators on the other.