Jacinth felt sorry, but annoyed and irritated also. She blamed herself for having begun any private talk of the kind before Eugene and Phebe; for, as sometimes happened when they had come in late, Phebe was having tea with them this evening. And she felt conscious also of deserving, to a certain extent, her sister"s blame. But Jacinth had a good deal of self-control.
"I cannot understand," she said quietly, though the colour rose to her cheeks--"I cannot understand how you can think such things of me--as if I--as if anybody could have loved _them_ more than I did; as if"----But here the tears rose to her own eyes.
Frances was at once melted.
"I didn"t mean _that_," she said. "I know you did. I wouldn"t love _you_ if I didn"t know it. But it"s your manner; you seem in such a hurry always to explain that granny wasn"t our own grandmother."
"I don"t think that"s fair," said Jacinth. "How could I possibly have helped explaining about it when it is _only_ because of our own grandmother that Lady Myrtle cares anything at all about us. And I wasn"t in a hurry to explain; don"t you remember that Lady Myrtle kept asking if we were sure our grandmother was only _Mrs_?"
Yes, that had been so, but still the slightly hurt feeling which Jacinth"s tone about the dear Stannesley people had more than once given Frances still remained, and she might have said more, had not her sister prevented her doing so.
"Anyway," she said, "we need not say any more about it just now."
After tea they got out their lesson-books, anxious to do all they could, so as to wake on Sat.u.r.day morning with the delightful sensation of a real whole holiday. But their long walk, perhaps the excitement of their adventure, had tired them. Lessons, with Frances especially, seemed more difficult than usual, and after a good many yawns and not a few groans, she decided that it was no use to attempt anything calling for a "clear head" that evening.
"I"ll just copy out my dictation and exercises," she said, "and do all the fresh learning to-morrow morning. Won"t you do so too, Ja.s.s, for there are two or three things we can learn together?"
"Very well," said Jacinth, though with a little sigh, "perhaps it would be better."
It was not only that she was tired--her head was full of Robin Redbreast and its owner, and all manner of fancies and castles in the air were crowding upon her. It was really so romantic, she thought; it was not silly to picture to herself the delightful possibilities of the future.
"Suppose Lady Myrtle really gets very fond of us"--she said "us," but "_me_" would perhaps have been more correct, and after all this was scarcely unnatural, as it was she who had specially recalled the Jacinth Moreland of her enthusiastic youthful affection to the old lady--"supposing she in a sort of way adopted us--or me"--for Jacinth was not selfish in the common acceptation of the word, though self-important and fond of ruling, "what happiness it might bring us!
She doesn"t seem to have any relations, and she must be very well off.
Supposing she took us to live with her, and treated us just like her own children, I wonder if mamma wouldn"t come home then, and papa too perhaps. For of course, if they knew we were going to be well off, papa wouldn"t worry so about staying out in India his full time and all that.
How I should _love_ to be the one to be able to do everything for them all."
Still it would not do to begin speculating on what might happen in the far future when--Jacinth felt shocked when she realised that, in picturing herself as Lady Myrtle"s possible heir, she was antic.i.p.ating the old lady"s death; yet she certainly could not "fit in" the idea of their all living together at Robin Redbreast with its present chatelaine. And she laughed at her own absurdity.
"Papa is so independent," she reflected. "Even if _mamma_ had a lot of money, I don"t believe he"d be satisfied without working as hard as ever. And of course he loves his profession."
Then she determined not to be silly, and to think no more about it. But her dreams that night were very fantastic and rosy-hued. She awoke in the morning from a vision of a wonderful room of which the walls were painted all over with robins, which suddenly burst out singing her name, "Jacinth, Jacinth," to find that Frances was awake and calling to her.
"Oh Francie, I was having _such_ an interesting dream," she said. "I wish you hadn"t awakened me: I can"t remember what was dreams and what wasn"t," she went on sleepily. "Did we really go inside Uncle Marmy"s gates, and see?"----
"Of course we did," said Frances, "and I"ve got such a good thought.
Don"t you think we might go that way again to-day and take mamma"s last photograph with us? Lady Myrtle would be sure to like to see it, and we needn"t ask for her, you know. And it would keep her from forgetting us, and anyway we might walk round the garden, I should think."
"No," said Jacinth, "we can"t do anything like that without Aunt Alison"s leave, and of course we can"t ask for leave unless Lady Myrtle writes to Aunt Alison. And there"s no telling if she will. She may be one of those whimsical old people that mean to do a thing, and then think better of it and do nothing."
Frances"s face fell.
"Oh, I do hope not," she said. "Somehow I don"t _think_ she"s that sort of old lady."
Nor in her heart did Jacinth. The expression of her misgivings had been as much or more to damp or check herself as Frances. For she was startled to find how wildly she had been indulging in building air-castles. Few, if any, even of those she had spent her life among, knew Jacinth Mildmay thoroughly, or had any suspicion of the impressionableness, the almost fantastic imagination, hidden under her quiet, almost cold exterior. But to some extent she knew herself better than is often the case at her age. She was well aware that she needed strict holding in hand; she sometimes even went too far in judging as contemptible weaknesses, feelings and impulses which were full of good.
But as regards the fancies which since yesterday had been so absorbing her, she was in the right. Even apparently harmless hopes and wishes dependent on the caprice, or, if carried where they _may_ lead to, contingent on the life or death of others, are better checked at once.
Indulgence in such can do no good, and _may_ do harm.
They had not seen their aunt the night before. And her manner was somewhat "carried" and preoccupied when she kissed the girls as they entered the dining-room, where she was already seated at the table waiting to read prayers.
A slight misgiving came over Jacinth. She glanced at the sideboard where the morning letters were always placed. Yes, one or two torn wrappers were lying there: evidently the letters had come and been opened. For Miss Alison Mildmay was, as Frances expressed it, "a _dreadfully_ early getter-up," and had always an hour or more to herself before the younger members of the household appeared.
I am afraid Jacinth"s attention that morning was rather distracted. She sat glancing at her aunt"s profile, cold and almost hard, as she was accustomed to see it, but with just now the addition of some irritable lines about the forehead which were certainly not _always_ there.
"Something has vexed her, I am certain," said Jacinth to herself. "I do wonder if it has anything to do with Lady Myrtle. Oh dear, if she has written so as to vex Aunt Alison, and we get blamed for it, and everything is spoilt!"
CHAPTER IV.
A LETTER AND A DISCUSSION.
"Were you very late last night, Aunt Alison? Are you tired?"
The questions came from Frances, who had noticed the unusual silence at the breakfast-table--not that they were ever very loquacious, for Eugene had his meals up-stairs and he was the chatterbox of the party--but without any of her sister"s fears or misgivings. So that she looked up at her aunt in happy freedom from any self-conscious embarra.s.sment.
"I was not later than I am usually on Fridays," said Miss Mildmay. "No, thank you, I am not tired. Will you have some more tea, Jacinth?"
"Yes, please," said the elder girl. She was growing more and more nervous, and yet her anxiety to know if Lady Myrtle really had written already made her remain near her aunt as long as possible.
Miss Mildmay had apparently finished her own breakfast, for after handing Jacinth her cup, she took up a little pile of letters which lay beside her, and drew out one, which she unfolded and glanced at with a peculiar expression on her face.
"Have you--have you nothing to tell me--no message to give me?" she said at last, still fingering the letter.
She spoke to both girls, but it seemed to Jacinth as if her words were more specially addressed to her, and she started, while a flush rose to her face. And suddenly she remembered--or realised rather--that Lady Myrtle _had_ given them a message for their aunt; though, oddly enough, in spite of her thoughts having been so much absorbed with the adventure of the day before, it had never once occurred to her during that silent breakfast that she should have spoken of it to her aunt--should, in fact, have related all that had pa.s.sed. There had been no reason for her not doing so--the old lady had specially desired it--it was only that her strong impression that Miss Mildmay had something to say to them had made her wait.
"Of course," she exclaimed nervously. "I really don"t know what we"ve been thinking of _not_ to tell you. For we _have_ a message for you.--Frances, why didn"t you remind me?"
Frances stared. It was seldom her way to take the initiative, she was so accustomed to follow Jacinth"s lead; and just now she had been quite contentedly waiting to speak of their visit to Robin Redbreast till her sister saw fit to do so.
"I--I didn"t know. I thought"----began Frances confusedly.
Miss Mildmay turned upon her sharply.
"Have you been planning together not to speak of this--this curious affair to me?" she said. "I don"t pretend not to know all about it. I do," and she touched the letter, "by this, but I must say I think I should not have heard of it _first_ from a stranger. There is one thing I cannot and will not stand, I warn you, girls, and that is any approach to want of candour."
"Aunt Alison," exclaimed Jacinth in hot indignation, "how can you? Did you not hear me ask Frances why she had not reminded me to tell you?"
"No, I cannot understand that," said her aunt, still coldly. "It is quite impossible that you had _forgotten_ about it, when it only happened"----She glanced at the letter and hesitated. "When was it, it happened?"
"Only yesterday," said Jacinth quietly. "No, _of course_, I hadn"t forgotten. But I had forgotten that I had a message for you that I should have given immediately I saw you. That I _had_ forgotten, and if you don"t believe me, I can"t help it."
Her voice choked, and the tears rushed to her eyes, though with a strong effort she kept them from falling.
Frances glanced at her, her face working with sympathy.
Miss Mildmay seemed perplexed.