"Certainly. A century doesn"t pa.s.s in which some interesting item doesn"t appear somewhere."
"Something that you could have thought of yourself, but had not done so yet?"
"Yes."
Murray said, "Do you actually think there"s a chance of my my obliging you in this matter?" obliging you in this matter?"
"In the next century? Virtually none. In the long run, though, your success is certain, since you will be engaged eternally."
Murray said, "I will be thinking through eternity? Forever?"
"Yes."
"To what end?"
"I have told you. To find new knowledge."
"But beyond that. For. what purpose am I to find new knowledge?"
"It was what you did in your Universe-bound life. What was its purpose then?"
Murray said, "To gain new knowledge that only I could gain. To receive the praise of my fellows. To feel the satisfaction of accomplishment knowing that I had only a short time allotted me for the purpose. Now I would gain only what you could gain yourself if you wished to take a small bit of trouble. You cannot praise me; you can only be amused. And there is no credit or satisfaction in accomplishment when I have all eternity to do it in."
The Voice said, " And you do not find thought and discovery worthwhile in itself? You do not find it requiring no further purpose?"
"For a finite time, yes. Not for all eternity."
"I see your point. Nevertheless, you have no choice."
"You say I am to think. You cannot make me do so."
The Voice said, "I do not wish to constrain you directly. I will not need to. Since you can do nothing but think, you will think. You do not know how not to think."
"Then I will give myself a goal. I will invent a purpose."
The Voice said tolerantly, "That you can certainly do."
"I have already found a purpose."
"May I know what it is?"
"You know already. I know we are not speaking in the ordinary fashion. You adjust my nexus in such a way that I believe I hear you and I believe I speak, but you transfer thoughts to me and for me directly. And when my nexus changes with my thoughts you are at once aware of them and do not need my voluntary transmission."
The Voice said, "You are surprisingly correct. I am pleased. But it also pleases me to have you tell me your thoughts voluntarily."
"Then I will tell you. The purpose of my thinking will be to discover a way to disrupt the nexus of me that you have created. I do not want to think for no purpose but to amuse you. I do not want to think forever to amuse you. I do not want to exist forever to amuse you. All my thinking will be directed toward ending the nexus. That That would amuse would amuse me." me."
The Voice said, "I have no objection to that. Even concentrated thought on ending your own existence may, in spite of you, come up with something new and interesting. And, of course, if you succeed in this suicide attempt you will have accomplished nothing, for I would instantly reconstruct you and in such a way as to make your method of suicide impossible. And if you found another and still more subtle fashion of disrupting yourself, I would reconstruct you with that possibility eliminated, and so on. It could be an interesting game, but you will nevertheless exist eternally. It is my will."
Murray felt a quaver but the words came out with a perfect calm. "Am I in h.e.l.l then, after all? You have implied there is none, but if this were h.e.l.l you would lie as part of the game of h.e.l.l."
The Voice said, "In that case, of what use is it to a.s.sure you that you are not in h.e.l.l? Nevertheless, I a.s.sure you. There is here neither Heaven nor h.e.l.l. There is only myself."
Murray said, "Consider, then, that my thoughts may be useless to you. If I come up with nothing useful, will it not be worth your while to-disa.s.semble me and take no further trouble with me?"
"As a reward? You want Nirvana as the prize of failure and you intend to a.s.sure me failure? There is no bargain there. You will not fail. With all eternity before you, you cannot avoid having at least one interesting thought, however you try against it."
"Then I will create another purpose for myself. I will not try to destroy myself. I will set as my goal the humiliation of you. I will think of something you have not only never thought of but never could think of. I will think of the last answer, beyond which there is no knowledge further."
The Voice said, "You do not understand the nature of the infinite. There may be things I have not yet troubled to know. There cannot be anything I cannot know."
Murray said thoughtfully, "You cannot know your beginning. You have said so. Therefore you cannot know your end. Very well, then. That will be my purpose and that will be the last answer. I will not destroy myself. I will destroy you-if you-if you do not destroy me first." you do not destroy me first."
The Voice said, "Ah! You come to that in rather less than average time. I would have thought it would have taken you longer. There is not one of those I have with me in this existence of perfect and eternal thought that does not have the ambition of destroying me. It cannot be done."
Murray said, "I have all eternity to think of a way of destroying you."
The Voice said, equably, "Then try to think of it." And it was gone.
But Murray had his purpose now and was content.
For what could any any Ent.i.ty, conscious of eternal existence, want-but an end? Ent.i.ty, conscious of eternal existence, want-but an end?
For what else had the Voice been searching for countless billions of years? And for what other reason had intelligence been created and certain specimens salvaged and put to work, but to aid in that great search? And Murray intended that it would be he, and he alone, who would succeed.
Carefully, and with the thrill of purpose, Murray began to think.
He had plenty of time.
Lest We Remember
1.
The problem with John Heath, as far as John Heath was concerned, was that he struck a dead average. He was sure of it. What was worse, he felt that Susan suspected it.
It meant he would never make a true mark in the world, never climb to the top of Quantum Pharmaceuticals, where he was a steady cog among the junior executives-never make the Quantum Leap.
Nor would he do it anywhere else, if he changed jobs.
He sighed inwardly. In just two more weeks he was going to be married and for her sake he yearned to be upwardly mobile. After all, he loved her madly and wanted to shine in her eyes.
But then, that was dead average for a young man about to be married.
Susan Collins looked at John lovingly. And why not? He was reasonably good-looking and intelligent and a steady, affectionate fellow besides. If he didn"t blind her with his brilliance, he at least didn"t upset her with an erraticism he didn"t possess.
She patted the pillow she had placed behind his head when he sat down in the armchair and handed him his drink, making sure he had a firm grip before she let go.
She said, "I"m practicing to treat you well, Johnny. I"ve got to be an efficient wife."
John sipped at his drink. "I"m the one who"ll have to be on my toes, Sue. Your salary is higher than mine."
"It"s all going to go into one pocket once we"re married. It will be the firm of Johnny and Sue keeping one set of books."
"You"ll have to keep it," said John despondently. "I"m bound to make mistakes if I try."
"Only because you"re sure you will. When are your friends coming?"
"Nine, I think. Maybe nine-thirty. And they"re not exactly friends. They"re Quantum people from the research labs."
"You"re sure they won"t expect to be fed?"
"They said after dinner. I"m positive about that. It"s business."
She looked at him quizzically. "You didn"t say that before."
"Say what before?"
"That it was business. Are you sure?"
John felt confused. Any effort to remember precisely precisely always left him confused. "They said so-I think." always left him confused. "They said so-I think."
Susan"s look was that of good-natured exasperation, rather like the one she would have given a friendly puppy who is completely unaware its paws are muddy. "If you really thought," she said, ""as often as you say "1 think" you wouldn"t be so perennially uncertain. Don"t you see it can"t can"t be business. If it were business, wouldn"t they see you be business. If it were business, wouldn"t they see you at at business?" business?"
"It"s confidential," said John. "They don"t want to see me at work. Not even at my apartment."
"Why here, then?"
"Oh, I suggested that. I thought you ought to be around, anyway. They"re going to have to deal with the firm of Johnny and Sue, right?"
"It depends," said Susan, "on what the confidential is all about. Did they give you any hints?"
"No, but it couldn"t hurt to listen. It could be something that would give me a boost in standing at the firm."
"Why you?" asked Susan.
John looked hurt, "Why not not me?" me?"
"It just strikes me that someone at your job level doesn"t require all that confidentiality and that-"
She broke off when the intercom buzzed. She dashed off to answer and came back to say, "They"re on the way up."
2.
Two of them were at the door. One was Boris Kupfer, whom John had already spoken to-large and restless, with a clear view of bluish stubble on his chin.
The other was David Anderson, smaller and more composed. His quick eyes moved this way and that, however, missing nothing.
"Susan," said John, uncertainly, still holding the door open. "These are the two colleagues of mine that I told you about. Boris-" He hit a blank in his memory banks and stopped.
"Boris Kupfer," said the larger man morosely, jingling some change in his pocket, :"and David Anderson here. It"s very kind of you, Miss-"
"Susan Collins."
"It"s very kind of you to make your place of residence available to Mr. Heath and to us for a private conference. We apologize for trespa.s.sing on your time and your privacy in this manner-and if you could leave us to ourselves for a while, we will be further grateful."
Susan stared at him solemnly. "Do you want me to go to the movies, or just into the next room?"
"If you could visit a friend-"
"No," said Susan, firmly.
"You can dispose of your time as you please, of course. A movie, if you wish."
"When I said "No," "said Susan, "I meant I wasn"t leaving. I want to know what this is about."
Kupfer seemed nonplussed. He stared at Anderson for a moment, then said, "It"s confidential, as Mr. Heath explained to you, I hope."
John, looking uneasy, said, "I explained that. Susan understands-"
"Susan," said Susan, "doesn"t understand and wasn"t given to understand that she was to absent herself from the proceedings. This is my apartment and Johnny and I are being married in two weeks-exactly two weeks from today. We are the firm of Johnny and Sue and you"ll have to deal with the firm."
Anderson"s voice sounded for the first time, surprisingly" deep and as smooth as though it had been waxed. "Boris, the young woman is right. As Mr. Heath"s soon-to-be wife, she will have a great interest in what we have come here to suggest and it would be wrong to exclude her. She has so firm an interest in our proposal that if she were to wish to leave, I would urge her most strongly to remain."
"Well, then, my friends," said Susan, "what will you have to drink? Once I bring you those drinks, we can begin."
Both were seated rather stiffly and had sipped cautiously at their drinks, and then Kupfer said, "Heath, I don"t suppose you know much about the chemical details of the company"s work-the cerebro-chemicals, for instance."
"Not a bit," said John, uneasily.
"No reason you should," said Anderson, silkily.
"It"s like this," said Kupfer, casting an uneasy glance at Susan- "No reason to go into technical details," said Anderson, almost at the lower level of audibility.
Kupfer colored slightly. "Without technical details, Quantum Pharmaceuticals deals with cerebro-chemicals which are, as the name implies, chemicals that affect the cerebrum, that is, the higher functioning of the brain."
"It must be very complicated work," said Susan, with composure.
"It is," said Kupfer. "The mammalian brain has hundreds of characteristic molecular varieties found nowhere else, which serve to modulate cerebral activity, including aspects of what we might term the intellectual life. The work is under the closest corporate security, which is why Anderson wants no technical details. I can can say this, though. We can go no further with animal experiments. We"re up against a brick wall if we can"t try the human response." say this, though. We can go no further with animal experiments. We"re up against a brick wall if we can"t try the human response."
"Then why don"t you?" said Susan. "What stops you?"