Garrett felt like his head was being pounded on by a herd of wild horses. Late afternoon sunlight streamed through the curtains of his bedroom, and he hugged the pillow tighter to his body. It was the one that Hannah always used and tended to smell like her for weeks after she was gone. Hannah, his eyes popped open as he heard more pounding. It wasnat just his head, someone was beating down his front door. Getting up on wobbly legs, he saw that he was still wearing his clothes from the night before. It was foggy, but he knew he had gone to the bar with the band. He was missing his wife, and everything after that was a blur.
aIam coming,a he whispered, not able to make his voice rise any louder at the pounding on the door. Finally he got there, swinging it open. s.h.i.t. It was his mom. What the f.u.c.k had he done?
aGarrett, you look like h.e.l.l.a She didnat pull any punches as she swept by him, into his house.
aCome on in,a he mumbled, putting his hand to his forehead. It hurt like a motherf.u.c.ker, and he had the worst case of cottonmouth head ever had in his life.
aWhatas going on with you?a Marie did a once-over, curling her lip in disgust that he was still wearing his clothes from the night before. aI figured when you got married you would be done with all of this.a His brain wasnat firing on all cylinders, and he needed her to take a small step back in her judgment of him, but he didnat know how to say it. aI went out and got drunk last night because I miss my wife and we as a band had nothing better to do, thatas it.a He always thought he got his temper from his dad, until he pushed his mom to the breaking point. It wasnat often that it happened, but when it did, he was actually scared of her.
aNo, son, thatas not it.a She spit the word out. aDo you even remember what happened last night?a Suddenly he got a bad feeling. Had he done something that he didnat remember? He knew without a shadow of a doubt there had not been another woman in his bed, for that he could be thankful, but what had happened before he got home? aI went to the bar and started doing shots, after that itas kind of fuzzy,a he admitted as he had a seat on his couch and tilted his head back against the cushions.
She watched him with what could only be described as an evil eye, pulling her smart phone from her purse and pressing a few b.u.t.tons. When she had what she obviously wanted to show him, she whipped it around in his face. aThis looks like a h.e.l.l of a lot more than doing shots.a aThe f.u.c.k?a he asked as he saw the picture of him with a brown-headed girl. She was sitting in his lap, and he had his head on her neck. From the angle, it looked almost like he was trying to kiss her, but when he took a good look; he saw that his forehead rested against her shoulder. He probably hadnat been able to keep his head up at that point.
aThatas my question. Why would you go and do something like this?a aI donat even remember it. Jared promised me that he wouldnat let me do anything stupid.a Where had Jared been?
aI already talked to him. He took a five-minute bathroom break, and when he came back, this was going down,a she told him. aBut Jared isnat responsible for you making good decisions. Have you heard from Hannah? Iam sure sheas seen this.a f.u.c.k. His wife. aI woke up to you pounding on my f.u.c.king front door, Mom. No, I havenat talked to my wife yet.a Fear took hold around his stomach. They were at a good place. What if this caused a setback?
aI think you need to call her.a This was all too much. He was hung over; he needed water, aspirin, and a shower to be able to think straight. He was going to lose his s.h.i.t, and he didnat want to do that with his mom. aI think you need to get the f.u.c.k out of my house. Sheas my wife; Iall do what I need to do.a aDonat talk to me like that, son.a She emphasized the word son.
He sighed. aI know you mean well, but I will take care of this in my own way. I love you, but I really need you to leave.a Marie hesitated, then walked over to where he sat, pulling him up for a hug. aNo matter how old you get, I want to fix things for you, and Iam going to give you some unsolicited advice right now. Call your wife, apologize, tell her you love her, and for the love of G.o.d, take a shower. You stink to high heaven.a He smirked, a small chuckle coming from his throat. aWill do, Mom. Thanks for coming to check on me.a aItas what we do. Love you,a she told him as she let herself out of the house.
Suddenly feeling tired again, Garrett fell back against the couch cushions. What the f.u.c.k was he going to do now? How did he explain this to Hannah? He couldnat even make his finger move over the b.u.t.ton that he knew would connect them on his phone. The dilemma was answered for him when the phone vibrated in his hand and he saw the picture of the person that he most wanted to see. He wasnat sure how he would be received when he answered, but he knew he had to answer. Swiping his thumb across the screen, Hannahas picture disappeared and the call engaged.
aHey, beautiful,a he answered, hoping with everything he had that a little sweet talk was what she needed to forgive him.
Chapter Fourteen.
Judging from the way Garrettas voice sounded, he was not having a good day. aHow are you?a she asked, carefully.
He cleared his throat twice and then cursed. af.u.c.k this, answer my FaceTime, I need to see you.a The call disengaged, and then she got his FaceTime request. Accepting it, she was surprised at the way he looked. Her mouth hung open and she whistled.
aI know, I look like h.e.l.l.a aGarrett, babe, what did you do to yourself last night?a she questioned, her eyes taking in his appearance. He looked awful.
aSomething very stupid if the tabloids are to be believed.a Hannah could see the guilt on his face, could almost physically feel it through the phone. aDid you wake up by yourself this morning?a she whispered.
af.u.c.k, Han, I was drunk, but I wasnat that drunk.a aAre you sure? Because from what I saw, you could barely hold your head up.a The hurt was there in her eyes as he watched but so was anger. She was mad. aI know it looked bad.a aIt did, almost as bad as the pictures with me and Bryson.a She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. aWhat we have to remember is that not everybody is happy about our marriage. There are some people that want it gone or want to see us struggle. We have got to stop putting ourselves in situations like this.a She was right. He had been a dumba.s.s to think he could go out in public and drink his loneliness away. He should have done it in the comfort of his home with his friends. They were no longer the locally known band that everybody wanted to buy a drink. They were now internationally known, and some people chomped at the bit to wait for them to fail. He couldnat put himself in that situation again, not when it threatened what he had with her.
aIam so f.u.c.kina sorry.a Hannah smiled brightly at him, and that was almost his undoing. aI can tell by looking at the picture that you were not into it. Iam not mad at you, honest. Iam mad at her, whoever she is. When did we, as women, stop having respect for ourselves?a aG.o.d, I love you,a he chuckled. aWeare okay?a aWe are fine. Iam confident in what we have here. The two of us need to remember who we are. Even though we see ourselves as normal, we have to remember that not everybody else sees us that way. Letas promise now that we stop putting ourselves in these situations.a Somehow the roles had reversed. aAs funny as this sounds, Iam proud of you for being the one to lift me up this time.a She laughed loudly. aIt is kind of weird, huh? I guess itas what we do when we love each other.a Her eyes shone brightly with the laughter.
aI canat wait to see you,a he told her softly. He wanted so much to reach through the screen of the phone and push her hair back from her face.
aI canat either. Have you taken a look at your schedule?a aI have,a he nodded. aI think I can make it out for a day next week. I know you canat do anything, theyave f.u.c.kina booked you solid.a Hannah groaned and frowned. aSh.e.l.l and I received the last of my dates yesterday. In this entire eight-week stretch, I have a total of five days off. Can you believe that?a aThey want to be sure and cash in.a He rolled his eyes. aSeven more weeks, and I can see you next week. We got this.a She hoped he was right. It was hard to feel completely confident when everything was working against you. aWhat day do you think you can make it out next week? One of my days off is next week. Maybe we can meet in Nashville and tour that house?a aYou are so excited about that d.a.m.n house.a He shook his head.
aI am!a aOkay,a he relented. aSend me when and where, and Iall be there with bells on.a aSounds good.a She clapped her hands. aI gotta go for now, I have a radio interview. Be sure and take a shower, cause you look like you stink.a aLove you too.a She blew a kiss at him. aI do love you, thatas why Iam being honest. Iall see you in a few days?a aSee ya.a He disconnected, glad that he had been able to call her and get it worked out. The countdown was now on for next week.
Hannah stood in Nashville International Airport waiting for Garrett to walk through the baggage claim area. Head texted her five minutes ago that head landed.
aI hate to bother you, Harmony, but do you think I could have an autograph?a That soft voice interrupted Hannahas stalking of the entrance, and she glanced around, seeing a girl who was probably in her early teens. An older woman came to a stop behind the girl.
aIam so sorry, I told her that you were busy, but she got away from me,a the woman told her, her breath coming quickly.
aItas okay,a Hannah told them, smiling as best she could. aDo you have anything for me to sign?a Sometimes it was hard to be polite, especially when her heart was in her throat, waiting for the other half of her soul to meet her. It had been a long week, and all she wanted to do was let Garrett wrap his arms around her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. Sometimes, though, duty called. She watched as the girl reached into her messenger bag and pulled out a Sharpie, along with a notebook.
aCan you sign here?a she asked, indicating the first page.
aAm I the first one?a Hannah asked, noticing that the notebook looked brand new. That was kind of exciting.
The girl nodded. aWeare here on vacation for the week, and I was hoping to run into some people to get autographs from. You were the number-one person I wanted, I canat tell you how excited I am about this.a aAww, thank you,a she told the girl. Her excitement and nervousness over seeing Garrett abated a little. It was this girlas dream to meet her. aWhatas your name?a aMadison.a Hannah started signing and decided to keep the conversation going. Garrett wasnat anywhere to be seen yet, anyway. aHave you wanted to come to Nashville for long?a aYes.a The girl nodded, not offering anymore.
Glancing up at the mother, Hannah noticed tears in her eyes. The way the girl had said yes made her think there was more to the story.
aItas what kept her going,a the mother whispered.
Hannah didnat have to ask. aI just went into remission from cancer,a the girl told her. aThis is my dream come true.a aWow.a Hannah breathed to keep the tears from coming to her eyes as well. She hated that people had to go through these things, especially children. aDo you wanna take a picture?a she asked, as she finished signing the notebook.
Madison nodded. aCan I take one with him too?a She pointed behind Hannah.
Hannah glanced behind her, noticing that her husband now stood patiently waiting. aI donat know,a she winked at him. aYouall have to ask Reaper yourself.a He caught Hannah around the neck, pulling her flush to him. Her back to his front. aShe likes to try and make me blush. Whatas your name, sweetheart?a he asked as he let go of Hannah and motioned for the notebook.
aWhere are you and Madison staying?a she asked the mother while Garrett kept Madison entertained.
She rattled off the name of a hotel that Hannah knew wasnat in the best part of town. aYou donat want to stay there, trust me.a Putting her hand on the older womanas shoulder, she pulled out her cell phone and spent a couple of minutes texting while they continued to make small talk. aOkay, youare set up. I want you and Madison to have a great time. Thereas a car waiting outside for you, it will take you to the hotel that Iave booked for you for the week, this car will also be at your disposal for your trip here. Have a great time, and if you need anything, donat hesitate to call my a.s.sistant, Sh.e.l.l.a She wrote Sh.e.l.las number on the back of a card and handed it to the woman.
If someone had asked her, she would never be able to tell them why she felt the need to do this. Shead never done anything like this before, but there was something about this girl and this woman that made her want to help. She didnat have to do it in front of a group of people, and she didnat even want a thank you. The tears in the older womanas eyes was enough.
Garrett put his arm around Hannah again as he and Madison came to stand closer to them. He reached out and shook the motheras hand. aItas a pleasure to be able to be number two in her book. I hope you have a great time in Nashville; Iam still learning about it myself, but what Iave seen so far, I love.a His words seem to put the other woman at easea"it gave her time to get control of her emotions. They took two more pictures, and then Hannah hugged the mother. aHave a great time.a She and Garrett quickly made their way out of the hustle and bustle of the airport to her Land Rover that her mom had dropped off at the airport for her earlier in the day. Once there, he grabbed her up in a hug, kissing her softly on the lips before opening the pa.s.senger side door for her.
aIam excited that we both got here around the same time.a She grabbed his hand as he backed out of the parking spot.
aMe too, but Iam getting to where I f.u.c.king hate airports.a She frowned at his choice of words. aWe got out of there just in time; we have to meet the realtor in an hour, and itas going to take us a little while to get across town.a He grinned over at her. aHave you seen it yet?a aNo, Iave been waiting on you.a She bounced in her seat.
Hannah wasnat sure why she was so excited, she just knew that this felt like another part of the progression of their lives as a married couple. This was the type of thing she saw them doing when they got married, not flying red-eyes at all hours trying to see each other for a few minutes here and there. She had to keep reminding herself that it would all work out in the end. She had to believe that.
Chapter Fifteen.
When they pulled up to the address that Hannah had put into the GPS, Garrett whistled. aThis is awesome.a aI know.a She clapped her hands together with excitement. In person, she could see that the pictures on the internet didnat do the house justice. She had loved the gray exterior in the pictures she had seen, but in reality, it blended in so well with the surroundings that it looked as if it had been carved out of the landscape. When she got out of the SUV, she glanced around the property and noticed that she also liked the land it sat on. While the house was in a subdivision, it still had a little over two acres worth of land. The house sat in what she thought to be the middle of those two acres.
aHannah?a A man in a suit approached her.
She smiled and stuck out a hand when she noticed it was the real estate agent that she had seen a picture of on the website. aHi. Jacob, right?a aYes, itas a pleasure to meet you.a aSame here. This is my husband, Garrett.a She introduced the two of them and waited while they shook hands, and then Jacob rolled up his shirt sleeve to show Garrett a Black Friday tattoo he had.
aIf I wasnat a rocker, I would be the same way, dude,a Garrett laughed. aAll b.u.t.toned up with my tats a secret, so I could make it in the corporate world.a aOkay, so Hannah, Iave told you everything I know about the house, I toured it the other day and itas spectacular. Do either of you have any questions for me?a he asked as they made their way to the front door.
aCan we, for the love of G.o.d, go in?a she asked, impatient.
He laughed, used to people being excited to tour the house that they wanted to make their own. aWe sure can.a He disengaged the lock that was on the front door, and then stepped in, turning off the alarm system before he motioned them in.
Garrett grabbed her hand, pulling her in behind him. aSo this place is already equipped with security?a aIt is,a Jacob answered. aThe person who owns the house now is a well-known producer, and at one point had people dropping off CDs and drives with songs on them all the time. Word has it that someone got a little over-zealous and actually got into the house one night. He upped the security after that. Should you decide to make an offer on this house, the security is top-notch, and we can go into that at the end if you want.a Garrett nodded, feeling better about the situation. He wanted Hannah to be safe when he wasnat around. Finally, he allowed himself to take a look at his surroundings. There was a definite cultural difference from California houses to houses in Tennessee.
aWhile this is modern,a Jacob was saying, ayouall still see a lot of hallmarks of southern homes, which Hannah will probably get a whole lot more than you.a aI love these hardwood floors.a Hannahas eyes were already bright, and they were only in the foyer.
aItas not hardwood through-out, but for the most part it is. There is a mother-in-law suite, which you could see to the left of the house when you pulled up, thatas connected by a walk-way. Itas being used right now as an office, and it has carpet, as well as the movie room. Thereas tile in the dining room too, itas got a nice mixture, I think.a aThereas a movie room?a Garrett asked, eyebrows high and a bright smile on his face at the sound of that.
aYes, there is,a he confirmed, consulting the printed-out folder he had in front of him.
aI sent you the link,a Hannah gently scolded him. aDidnat you take a look at it?a aKind of.a He shrugged. aI didnat really need to. If youare excited, Iam excited.a He slung an arm around her shoulders.
aI guess thatas sweet, but I wanted you to know what you would be coming to look at.a aI do like it,a he a.s.sured her. aThe pictures that I did see didnat do this place justice.a They made their way further in, both admiring the lighting coming from the large windows and the big rooms.
aItas going to take a lot of furniture to fill this place up,a she laughed as she held onto Garrettas arm.
aOr a lot of kids,a Jacob joked. aItas got four bedrooms.a They glanced at one another; neither of them had broached that topic yet. aSomeday,a Hannah answered, vaguely.
They pa.s.sed through a kitchen that would have made any chef jealous, through a dining room, and out onto a back wrap-around porch.
aThe only thing that does suck is that you canat hear the ocean,a Garrett told her, wrinkling his nose.
aSacrifices.a She winked. aWe both have to make them.a aThe living room isnat huge, but itas got a really nice stone fireplace,a Jacob said as he led them back into the house.
aDoes it ever get cold enough here to use that?a Garrett asked.
Jacob and Hannah glanced at one another, both wearing looks of amus.e.m.e.nt. aHe only has to wait until the first snow shuts down the city,a Jacob laughed.
aSnow? You donat get a lot here do you?a Garret asked.
aDoesnat take a lot,a Hannah told him dryly. aHalf an inch, a few flakes, whatevera"it shuts down the city.
aCan you please do me a favor if you buy this house? The first time heas here when winter weather madness strikes, let me know how he handles it,a Jacob laughed.
She really liked the realtor and hoped that Garrett would agree with her in putting an offer on the house. aWill do. It will be one of the most interesting days of my life, I can tell you that!a The bathroom was more extravagant than she had been able to see in the pictures too. It held a makeup vanity and a huge walk-in closet. Garrett, in turn, loved the theater room and was already making plans on what he would change. When they made their way over to the mother-in-law suite, both of them were talking about making it their own studio. When the tour was over, they stood in the driveway with Jacob.
aThank you for taking us through it today,a Garrett told him, holding out his hand for him to shake.
aMy pleasure, and to let you both know, there is some wiggle room in the price. If you want to make an offer, please contact the office. This is a very motivated seller who wants people who will enjoy this house, and the two of you have had smiles on your faces since you got here.a aWeall be in touch, as soon as possible,a Hannah told him.
When they got into the Land Rover, they looked at each other and at the same time said, aWeare making an offer.a * * *
aHow long do you think weall have to wait to hear back on our offer?a Hannah asked later on that night as the two of them lay on her couch.
Sh.e.l.l had decided not to fly in for the day with her, so they were alone, and enjoying the peace and quiet.
aI would say at least a few days. I know youare excited, babe, but try not to get your hopes up until we hear back. There may have been another couple after us that he showed it to.a aI hope not.a She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. aI love that house, and I feel at home there. You know when you walk in somewhere and you instantly know thatas where you should live? I got that vibe there.a aI did too,a he admitted. aThatas a lot of bedrooms though,a he laughed.
aIam sure at some point weall talk about having children, and weall need that s.p.a.ce,a she mentioned, quietly. It wasnat necessarily something that she had given much thought to before, but since they had brought up the topic, she felt like she needed to throw that out there.
aWith your break coming up, it might be the perfect time to talk about it.a His green eyes bore into hers.
Hannahas stomach did a tumble when she thought about having his child. That was something she had always thought was so far off, but obviously if he had mentioned it, he was thinking about it. aDo you think itas too early to be talking about it?a aNo, do you?a He pushed her hair back from her neck, burying his face there.
aI feel like we should have a little time to ourselves first.a aIam not saying letas get busy the first night that you get off tour. Iam saying sometime in the next year and a half,a he chuckled.
That sounded better, something that she could deal with easier. Everything was so fast in their relationship that she was half afraid that it would be over as quickly as it had begun.
aYou tensed, whatas wrong?a aThere are moments,a she sighed, awhen I wonder if weave done this way too fast. I wonder if weare setting ourselves up for an epic crash and burn. I know that I shouldnat think thata"no one wants to think that about any relationship theyare ina"but those thoughts sneak up on me sometime.a He swallowed hard against the lump that rose in his throat every time she questioned what they had. aYou canat let that insecurity get into your head, babe. Things arenat easy for us, they never will be. Even if you decide to not go back to performing, I still will be. This is our reality, and we have to find a way to be okay with it. I think spending more time together will help us become more comfortable in what we have, but you canat let that s.h.i.t get to you.a aI know.a She ran her hand through her hair. aI donat know why I do this to myself.a aYouare stressed, youare tired, and you want to be a normal person for a while, I get it, okay. You donat have to ever worry that Iam going to not get it, because I do. I have these moments too, I just donat voice them. I feel like if I voice them, then I give them power to make me question things, and that is never what I want to do with our relationship. We are different, though. You do what you need to do. Iam going to be right here with you every time you feel overwhelmed or have doubts.a aBecause together we are stronger than we ever were apart.a She clasped their hands, loving the feel of the strength he gave her with such a simple touch.
aExactly. n.o.body can break this as long as we donat let go.a He tightened the grip. aAnd Iam d.a.m.n strong, not to mention stubborn as f.u.c.k. Weare going to figure this out.a aI know.a She burrowed closer to him, glad to feel the warmth of his body, the beat of his heart. They would figure it out, she knew that, but the getting there was going to be a b.u.mpy ride.
Chapter Sixteen.
Hannah was tired, beyond tired. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it read five a.m., but she couldnat sleep. Her mind was traveling at a hundred miles a minute, and she could not get it to be quiet. She had even done the calming exercises that shead found online. There were so many things she wanted to do, so many things that needed to get done, and she couldnat turn it off. Her and Garrettas offer on the house had been accepted, and they were looking to close on it in the next two weeks. Decorating ideas and Pinterest were now her best friends. Pulling her phone off her bedside table, she opened the calendar and counted. Five more weeks on this tour, she could do it. If she said it enough times, then it would be true. But G.o.d, she was so tired. Hannah quickly calculated the time in California and decided that Garrett was probably still awake. Pressing the b.u.t.ton to FaceTime, she held her breath, waiting to see if he would answer.
aBabe, what the f.u.c.k are you doing awake? Not that Iam not excited to see you, but itas late.a His face came onto the screen, and she wanted to cry. aI canat sleep,a she told him, swallowing hard against the lump that had appeared in her throat.
aAre you okay?a he asked, his green eyes softening as he took in her face. There were huge dark circles under her eyes, and she looked on the verge of tears.