He did. "About the day I found out you were married."
Inside, she protested. Almost aloud, too. It seemed wrong to hear about this when that man, the man she had loved, had died and the vow that had bound her was no longer valid. As if all that had happened in relation to that shouldn"t be holding any sway over this current conversation and, what, relationship?
But it did. She had a daughter to prove it. And more money than she knew what to do with.
She took a breath, but was afraid to let go of his jacket, all of a sudden. "What about that day?"
His face went red all the way to the tips of his ears. Seeing her eyes widen, he ducked his head. "Sorry, I . . . I promised to be totally honest with you, so I"m going to be, but I need you to promise me you won"t jump on the next train back to Elkridge, okay?"
It couldn"t be that bad, she felt. Smiling with still-tingling lips, feeling a bit incredulous and very curious, she leaned in closer to him to look up into his lowered gaze. "Promise. What is it?"
His eyes were shadowed but humor lurked within them. "Your parents sent a wedding invitation to my folks." She nodded, silently urging him to continue. "Mom, well, she didn"t tell me."
"Why not?"
"At first, she brought you up all the time, you know. Asking if I"d heard from you, but-it hurt, hon. Not gonna lie. I knew I"d ruined everything and it just-"
Regret laced her own thoughts, too. "Maybe if I"d just tried again?"
He shook his head. "I wouldn"t have been ready. Anyway. She didn"t tell me you got married before I finally came home on leave. I asked for my baseball card collection, because my new roommate was interested in buying a few of them at a serious price." April had to smile a little at that. Her dad still had his collection, and her husband had had one, too, before selling it for some outrageous amount a few years before. "So I went digging in my old closet and a box was on top of the box I wanted and on the top of that box was your wedding invitation."
She didn"t have a thing to say to the resolute light in his eye. It was as if he were facing a hard thing, but doing it bravely. Stretching up a little, she nuzzled his jaw. It was instinctive, really.
He enfolded her in his arms for a moment before moving to take her hands in his, holding them between their bodies. "That was hard, but I felt as if I deserved it, you know? I had spent over a year kicking myself, and there you were, your name on the invitation, and it was like getting knifed in the ribs, honest." He inhaled and exhaled sharply. "But then, just as I was making myself read it over and over again, I heard Mom on the phone with Sue, congratulating her. I gotta tell you, hon, that gutted me."
"I don"t know what to say," she murmured.
His expression softened and he brought their joined hands up to rest under her chin. "I had to look something in the eye, that day. Something I"d avoided."
"What?"
"That I was in love with you. That I had been since we were sixteen." Shocked tears heated her eyes and her jaw dropped before he smiled a little crookedly and pushed her chin up to close her mouth. "And I still am."
An odd, electric-like buzz seemed to hit her all at once. "Justin."
Shaking his head, relief and a pleased delight in his eyes, he dropped a kiss on her hand. "No. It"s cool. I just needed you to know. I owed it to both of us, I think, to say so." He blew out a breath. "Planning on jumping on a train back home?"
Laughter struggled with incredulity at his apparent ease. "Um, no? I"m just. I don"t-" She pulled a few inches away from him, reclaiming her hands. Where were her words? "I"m not going anywhere," she managed to say. That much, she knew.
His smile was open and happy, calling forth her own. "Good. That"s all I need."
He didn"t let her dwell on his astounding revelation, but led her securely to where they had to wait for their next train, pointing out the directional signs and countdowns that were conveniently located. She listened, cataloguing the details, but most of her awareness was spinning in a dizzying, happy, confused mess.
The sheer scope to be seen at the Smithsonian Museum of American History wowed her. "You"ve been here before?" she asked quietly, overawed by the high ceilings and uniqueness of the different rooms. History was her obsession. She loved old things.
"Well, yeah. I"ve been stationed here for two years. And every time I come here, I think of you," he told her without fanfare.
She felt as if her heart turned over. "Oh, Justin . . ." What could she say to this man? She felt for him-felt so many things. Things she had set aside as she"d lived her life with John. "I, you . . ."
"We, yes." His chuckle embarra.s.sed and rea.s.sured her. "What is it?"
"Can we talk?" The need was urgent within her. She didn"t know what it meant, precisely, but she was sure thinking hard. Justin"s eyes narrowed with apparent concern and she tried to offer him a rea.s.suring smile. "Nothing bad," she said. "Just, you gave me a lot to think about, earlier, and I have been. Thinking. You know?"
The expression on his face, the slight furrows between his brows, the small curve of his mouth-they all contributed to rea.s.suring her as he nodded. "Sure. It"s almost time for lunch and I had thought I"d whisk you away to Georgetown and this place called Third Edition, but we can go local."
"Whatever you think is best, it"s your city," she said, her mind whirring as he led her out of the museum. Oh, G.o.d in Heaven. This feels really heavy. Right now. Not sure what you want from me, but I"m trying. Don"t let me do or say anything that"ll hurt someone, okay? Please? Mostly, Hannah.
Inarticulate as her private prayer had been, she knew G.o.d Almighty could make sense of it. Which was a good thing, since she felt overwhelmed in the sheer process of putting her words in order.
All of them were taken away anyway as soon as they got out of doors. "Oh. My."
There had been snow earlier that day, yes, but even the gently falling flakes hadn"t hampered the tourists she had seen before they"d ducked into the Smithsonian. Now, however, the wind was stronger and people were moving more rapidly. "Does this happen often?" she asked Justin, her hand half-shielding her face.
He angled his body to keep the worst of the wind from her. "Not too often. Look at the sky, though. It"s not good." With one arm wrapped securely about her, he gestured to the low clouds that seemed, to April, to be taking on an iron hue. "Hmm. I"m thinking, hon, that we might want to skip the rest of the day and head back."
Is this a sign that I"m not supposed to talk about all this stuff? Well, it is a little early, maybe . . .
"Okay? But how? I mean, the trains and all will be running, right?"
"Honestly? I haven"t taken the train anywhere when it was snowing this hard. I drive, mostly. I was thinking we could get back to 8th and I and drive back to your place to save time."
Disappointment sliced through her, followed shortly by relief that he had a plan. "Whatever you think is best."
Arm still around her, he started walking carefully. She slid her arm around him, too. Smiling, she kept her eyes on the pavement. Her shoes were st.u.r.dy, but she wasn"t taking chances. "You okay walking in this, April? We could catch a taxi." His arm tightened a little about her shoulders as he asked.
She took a chance and shifted her focus from her feet to his face. "I"m good, like this. Really."
He paused, there on the sidewalk and bent to nuzzle her head a little and it felt like the most natural thing in the world. "Good. I"m glad. We"ll catch the Metro and head that way, then. Minimal walking. And I"ll get my car and we"ll head north again."
"Can I call Hannah? See how it"s going up there? Is there reception inside?"
"Might want to do that before we get into the station, as it"s liable to be noisy with the change in the weather." He smiled right into her eyes and she felt it as if he"d kissed her again. "I"ll keep you upright. You go ahead and call Hannah. And Sue."
"I swear, I feel like such a teenager, calling my mom."
She felt his laughter through his ribs and leaned a little into him before she dug into her purse to get her phone.
"What, no smart phone?" he teased.
"Too complicated for me," she responded with a self-deprecating sigh. "I text, but all the other stuff? I"ve got a computer at home, you know?"
A quick call to Hannah served to rea.s.sure and inform her. "Mom! It"s snowing! And Gramma said I can put on my snow boots and play!"
April chuckled. "You should take her outside and see if she wants to build a snowman. We didn"t get to do that back home when I was a kid."
Hannah started calling, "Gramma!"
"Everything all right?" her mother asked, sounding like she was smiling.
Still tucked securely against Justin as he sought a path to the Metro station, April blushed. "Yeah. But the weather here is deteriorating. Justin"s thinking it"ll get bad before it gets better so we"re going to head back up."
There was a heavy silence. "Oh. You all right, honey?"
"Just fine, Mom. Better than. Just keep an eye on the sky, okay?"
Her mother sounded much perkier when she told her to enjoy the rest of her date.
"Everything all right?" Justin asked as they approached a sign with the big M that meant the Metro station. "Hannah okay?"
She shared the upcoming plans, ignoring her growling stomach. She really was getting hungry.
The Metro station was indeed crowded and loud. Justin stiffened a little and April nudged him. "What is it?" Her mind raced to wondering if this brought back memories or something, and she wondered how to be supportive but confident-all those little things she had learned being the wife of a rich and powerful man.
It came as an amusing letdown when Justin merely said, "I completely forgot about lunch. I felt your stomach rumble," he added, bending to place the words near her ear. She shivered in a more than pleasant way. "Let"s get my car and we"ll get something to eat and then head back." As they moved forward to get to the Orange Line, he said, "Don"t think this gets you off the hook, April. I really want to hear what you wanted to talk about." Her cheeks flamed again and when she would have ducked her head, he took his arm from around her and stood in front of her to catch her face between his gloved palms. "Relax. I won"t push, okay?"
"Okay."
Once on the train, he held true to this and didn"t initiate conversation. He did, though, keep his arm around her and she leaned into him. They sat quietly through five stops on a short, ten-minute ride to the Eastern Market Metro Station.
Emerging into the open air, they were hit with even more snow. "Has it gotten worse?" she wondered.
"Maybe. C"mon. Hang on and I"ll make sure you don"t slip."
In a matter of minutes, they had reached a brick wall and wrought iron gates. Marine Barracks. "Here we are. Let"s see if we can get you in off the street," he ventured.
The front gate was slightly open and there was a guard on duty. The Latino man wore a trench coat, but she could see the white dress gloves she knew were necessary for the uniform. Since the guard looked so formal, April felt it was right if she wasn"t tucked so closely into Justin"s side so she took a half-step from him.
He didn"t seem to notice as he brought her through the slight opening in the gate. "Marquez," Justin said in greeting.
The younger man stiffened to a nearly impossible degree. "Gunny Clark! Didn"t expect to be seeing you today."
Extending his hand, Justin reached for April and pulled her closer. "Hadn"t planned on it, that"s for sure. Corporal Marquez, this is April Sinclair."
She offered the Marine a smile. "Hi." He nodded politely but didn"t return her greeting.
"I"m going to take her to the office to wait for me. Who"s on duty?"
"Staff Sergeant Halstead, Gunny."
"Thank you."
"Why do I have to go to the office?" April questioned with a low voice as they walked off to the right. She didn"t want to embarra.s.s him or herself, but she felt a little foolish as they reached an intimidating-looking door.
Snow followed them in as the door closed behind them. Justin, a smile of expectation in his eye, nodded down at the small drift. "That"s why. Staff Sergeant Halstead?"
"Gunny Clark! Didn"t expect to see you here today." The words were very similar to what had been said before, but there was a knowing grin that added asymmetrical dimples to the Staff Sergeant"s face that had April wondering.
Justin"s ears reddened. "This is April Sinclair. Due to the weather, I"m going to have to run her back home and thought my car would be faster. She"s going to wait for me here."
Halstead offered April a broad grin that displayed very white, straight teeth. "Good afternoon, ma"am." With a significant wink, he added, "We"ve heard about you."
"Enough!" Justin laughed a little. "He"s giving us a hard time, April. Ignore him. I"ll just be a few minutes."
"She"ll be safe with me, Gunny. No worries."
"I"m not a piece of luggage," she reminded Justin. "And I"m well able to stand on a street."
"Please?" he asked, his eyes sharpening with intent. "I"d feel better. I know you"re completely capable, but I don"t think I am."
Not wanting to fuss about it in front of someone, she nodded and watched as he lengthened his stride to move quickly through another door.
"Would you like to have a seat, ma"am?" Halstead"s smile was mischievous.
"I"m fine, thank you. Um, you said you"d heard about me?" It was forward, maybe, but he had brought it up.
He leaned on his elbows on the high counter top, near a sheaf of papers and a cup with generic black pens. "You"re the one that got away, ma"am. Glad you"re back."
She blinked, a blush all but exploding under her skin. "Oh. Thank you?"
Laughing, he turned from her to attend to something on the desk behind him. She saw he wore a wedding band and relaxed. The silence of even only a few seconds seemed stifling, so she broke it. "You"re married?"
"Ah, don"t tell the gunny you"re flirting with me and I won"t tell my wife." He caught her eye again and she could see he was obviously joking. "Seriously, then. Yes, ma"am, I am. My wife and our kids are here, too." His expression grew more sober. "It can be hard, not gonna lie to you. But she manages and there"s usually a good support system for the spouses and kids." After a moment, his grin flashed once more. "Now, don"t go telling Gunny Clark I said that."
"My lips are sealed," she a.s.sured him before changing her mind and sitting on one of the hard plastic chairs behind her. She wasn"t stupid. She understood that Staff Sergeant Halstead was supporting Justin and also trying to support their relationship, new though it was in so many important ways. In very few words, really, the man had told her Justin had spoken of her, admired her, and that there might even be the idea of a "happily ever after" on his mind.
As a woman of faith, she believed in that kind of thing. She had had it with John Patrick Sinclair. A handsome, wealthy husband who had supported and respected her while providing for her as well. She had a daughter, too, who was pretty enough to be out of a fairy tale herself. Happy years had given her a certain amount of self-confidence, April knew. Being a mother had made her both stronger and more vulnerable. Over the last few months, she had spent time in self-evaluation and prayer. It had been very purposeful, really, and all because Justin Clark had reappeared as a major part of her life.
Was it his turn for his happily ever after?
"I guess you and the gunny will take a rain check on D.C. Tourist Day?" Halstead inquired, once more leaning companionably on the counter. He was weaving a pen between his fingers.
"Pardon me?"
"Well, I know it"s been in the works for a while, ma"am, and I figured you"d probably try again. Maybe see if Gunny Clark can take you around and see the base, if he can make the time."
"Maybe in the spring."
"My wife loves the Cherry Blossom Festival. See if you can maybe bring your little girl down next month and check it out."
Surprise jolted her off the chair. "You know about Hannah?"
He darted a sheepish look around before pa.s.sing a hand over his closely-shaven head. "Um, yes, ma"am. Clark kinda asked me about the family thing. He"s always studying, you know."
"He didn"t used to do that so much."
"He got smart?"
They shared a laugh that was ending just when Justin opened the office door, bringing more snow. "Hey, hon. We better go if we"re going to get anything to eat before the trip back. It"s getting bad out here." Then, his focus darted between Staff Sergeant Halstead"s far-too-innocent expression and April"s lingering good humor. "What?"