That involuntary act hurt Charlie more than her words, and it was his turn now to feel "terribly ashamed;" for the events of the previous evening were very hazy in his mind, and fear magnified them greatly.
Turning sharply away, he went and stood by the fire, quite at a loss how to make his peace this time, because Rose was so unlike herself.
Usually a word of excuse sufficed, and she seemed glad to pardon and forget; now, though very quiet, there was something almost stern about her that surprised and daunted him; for how could he know that all the while her pitiful heart was pleading for him, and the very effort to control it made her seem a little hard and cold? As he stood there, restlessly fingering the little ornaments upon the chimney-piece, his eye brightened suddenly; and, taking up the pretty bracelet lying there, he went slowly back to her, saying in a tone that was humble and serious enough now,--
"I _will_ act like a man, and you shall never be ashamed again. Only be kind to me: let me put this on, and promise afresh; this time I swear I"ll keep it. Won"t you trust me, Rose?"
It was very hard to resist the pleading voice and eyes: for this humility was dangerous; and, but for Uncle Alec, Rose would have answered "Yes." The blue forget-me-nots reminded her of her own promise; and she kept it with difficulty now, to be glad always afterward. Putting back the offered trinket with a gentle touch, she said firmly, though she dared not look up into the anxious face bending toward her,--
"No, Charlie: I can"t wear it yet. My hands must be free if I"m to help you as I ought. I will be kind; I will trust you: but don"t swear any thing, only try to resist temptation, and we"ll all stand by you."
Charlie did not like that, and lost the ground he had gained by saying impetuously,--
"I don"t want any one but you to stand by me, and I must be sure you won"t desert me, else, while I"m mortifying soul and body to please you, some stranger will come and steal your heart away from me. I couldn"t bear that; so I give you fair warning, in such a case I"ll break the bargain, and go straight to the devil."
The last sentence spoilt it all; for it was both masterful and defiant. Rose had the Campbell spirit in her, though it seldom showed; as yet she valued her liberty more than any love offered her, and she resented the authority he a.s.sumed too soon,--resented it all the more warmly, because of the effort she was making to reinstate her hero, who would insist on being a very faulty and ungrateful man. She rose straight out of her chair, saying with a look and tone which rather startled her hearer, and convinced him that she was no longer a tender-hearted child, but a woman with a will of her own, and a spirit as proud and fiery as any of her race,--
"My heart is my own, to dispose of as I please. Don"t shut yourself out of it by presuming too much; for you have no claim on me but that of cousinship, and you never will have unless you earn it. Remember that, and neither threaten nor defy me any more."
For a minute it was doubtful whether Charlie would answer this flash with another, and a general explosion ensue; or wisely quench the flame with the mild answer which turneth away wrath. He chose the latter course, and made it very effective by throwing himself down before his offended G.o.ddess, as he had often done in jest; this time it was not acting, but serious earnest, and there was real pa.s.sion in his voice, as he caught Rose"s dress in both hands, saying eagerly,--
"No, no! don"t shut your heart against me, or I shall turn desperate.
I"m not half good enough for such a saint as you, but you can do what you will with me. I only need a motive to make a man of me, and where can I find a stronger one than in trying to keep your love?"
"It is not yours yet," began Rose, much moved, though all the while she felt as if she was on a stage, and had a part to play; for Charlie had made life so like a melodrama that it was hard for him to be quite simple even when most sincere.
"Let me earn it, then. Show me how, and I"ll do any thing: for you are my good angel, Rose; and, if you cast me off, I feel as if I shouldn"t care how soon there was an end of me," cried Charlie, getting tragic in his earnestness, and putting both arms round her, as if his only safety lay in clinging to this beloved fellow-creature.
Behind footlights it would have been irresistible; but somehow it did not touch the one spectator, though she had neither time nor skill to discover why. For all their ardor the words did not ring quite true: despite the grace of the att.i.tude, she would have liked him better manfully erect upon his feet; and, though the gesture was full of tenderness, a subtle instinct made her shrink away, as she said with a composure that surprised herself, even more than it did him,--
"Please don"t. No, I will promise nothing yet; for I must respect the man I love."
That brought Charlie to his feet, pale with something deeper than anger; for the recoil told him more plainly than the words how much he had fallen in her regard since yesterday. The memory of the happy moment when she gave the rose with that new softness in her eyes, the shy color, the sweet "for my sake," came back with sudden vividness, contrasting sharply with the now averted face, the hand out-stretched to put him back, the shrinking figure: and in that instant"s silence poor Charlie realized what he had lost; for a girl"s first thought of love is as delicate a thing as the rosy morning-glory, that a breath of air can shatter. Only a hint of evil, only an hour"s debas.e.m.e.nt for him, a moment"s glimpse for her of the coa.r.s.er pleasures men know, and the innocent heart, just opening to bless and to be blessed, closed again like a sensitive plant, and shut him out perhaps for ever.
The consciousness of this turned him pale with fear: for his love was deeper than she knew; and he proved this when he said in a tone so full of mingled pain and patience that it touched her to the heart,--
"You _shall_ respect me if I can make you; and when I"ve earned it may I hope for something more?"
She looked up then, saw in his face the n.o.ble shame, the humble sort of courage, that shows repentance to be genuine, and gives promise of success, and, with a hopeful smile that was a cordial to him, answered heartily,--
"You may."
"Bless you for that! I"ll make no promises, I"ll ask for none: only trust me, Rose; and, while you treat me like a cousin, remember that no matter how many lovers you may have, you"ll never be to any of them as dear as you are to me."
A traitorous break in his voice warned Charlie to stop there: and, with no other good-by, he very wisely went away, leaving Rose to put the neglected flowers into water with remorseful care, and lay away the bracelet, saying to herself,--
"I"ll never wear it till I feel as I did before; then he shall put it on, and I"ll say "Yes.""
CHAPTER XI.
_SMALL TEMPTATIONS._
"O Rose, I"ve got something so exciting to tell you!" cried Kitty Van Ta.s.sel, skipping into the carriage next morning when her friend called for her to go shopping.
Kitty always did have some "perfectly thrilling" communication to make, and Rose had learned to take them quietly: but the next demonstration was a new one; for, regardless alike of curious observers outside and disordered hats within, Kitty caught Rose round the neck, exclaiming in a rapturous whisper,--
"My dearest creature, I"m engaged!"
"I"m so glad! Of course it is Steve?"
"Dear fellow, he did it last night in the nicest way, and mamma is _so_ delighted. Now what _shall_ I be married in?" and Kitty composed herself with a face full of the deepest anxiety.
"How can you talk of that so soon? Why, Kit, you unromantic girl, you ought to be thinking of your lover and not your clothes," said Rose, amused, yet rather scandalized at such want of sentiment.
"I _am_ thinking of my lover; for he says he will _not_ have a long engagement, so I _must_ begin to think about the most important things at once, mustn"t I?"
"Ah, he wants to be sure of you; for you are such a slippery creature he is afraid you"ll treat him as you did poor Jackson and the rest,"
interrupted Rose, shaking her finger at her prospective cousin, who had tried this pastime twice before, and was rather proud than otherwise of her brief engagements.
"You needn"t scold, for I know I"m right; and, when you"ve been in society as long as I have, you"ll find that the only way to really know a man is to be engaged to him. While they want you, they are all devotion; but when they think they"ve got you, then you find out what wretches they are," answered Kitty, with an air of worldly wisdom which contrasted oddly with her youthful face and giddy manners.
"A sad prospect for poor Steve, unless I give him a hint to look well to his ways."
"O my dear child, I"m sure of him; for my experience has made me very sharp, and I"m convinced I can manage him without a bit of trouble.
We"ve known each other for ages" (Steve was twenty and Kitty eighteen), "and always been the best of friends. Besides he is quite my ideal man: I never _could_ bear big hands and feet, and his are simply adorable. Then he"s the best dancer I know, and dresses in perfect taste. I really do believe I fell in love with his pocket-handkerchiefs first; they were so enchanting I couldn"t resist," laughed Kitty, pulling a large one out of her pocket, and burying her little nose in the folds, which shed a delicious fragrance upon the air.
"Now that looks promising, and I begin to think you _have_ got a little sentiment after all," said Rose, well pleased; for the merry brown eyes had softened suddenly, and a quick color came up in Kitty"s cheek, as she answered, still half hiding her face in the beloved handkerchief,--
"Of course I have, lots of it; only I"m ashamed to show it to most people, because it"s the style to take every thing in the most nonchalant way. My gracious, Rose, you"d have thought me a romantic goose last night while Steve proposed in the back parlor: for I actually cried; he was so dreadfully in earnest when I pretended that I didn"t care for him, and so very dear and nice when I told the truth. I didn"t know he had it in him; but he came out delightfully, and never cared a particle, though I dropped tears all over his lovely shirt-front. Wasn"t that good of him? for you know he hates his things to be mussed."
"He"s a true Campbell, and has got a good warm heart of his own under those fine fronts of his. Aunt Jane doesn"t believe in sentiment, so he has been trained never to show any: but it is there, and you must encourage him to let it out; not foolishly, but in a way to make him more manly and serious."
"I will if I can; for, though I wouldn"t own this to everybody, I like it in him very much, and feel as if Steve and I should get on beautifully. Here we are: now be sure not to breathe a word if we meet any one; I want it to be a profound secret for a week at least," added Kitty, whisking the handkerchief out of sight, as the carriage stopped before the fashionable store they were about to visit.
Rose promised with a smile; for Kitty"s face betrayed her without words, so full was it of the happiness which few eyes fail to understand wherever they see it.
"Just a glance at the silks. You ask my opinion about white ones, and I"ll look at the colors. Mamma says satin; but that is out now, and I"ve set my heart on the heaviest corded thing I can find," whispered Kitty, as they went rustling by the long counters strewn with all that could delight the feminine eye, and tempt the feminine pocket.
"Isn"t that opal the loveliest thing you ever saw? I"m afraid I"m too dark to wear it, but it would just suit you. You"ll need a variety you know," added Kitty in a significant aside, as Rose stood among the white silks, while her companion affected great interest in the delicate hues laid before her.
"But I have a variety now, and don"t need a new dress of any sort."
"No matter, get it; else it will be gone: you"ve worn all yours several times already, and _must_ have a new one whether you need it or not. Dear me! if I had as much pocket-money as you have, I"d come out in a fresh toilet at every party I went to," answered Kitty, casting an envious eye upon the rainbow piles before her.
The quick-witted shopman saw that a wedding was afoot; for when two pretty girls whisper, smile, and blush over their shopping, clerks scent bridal finery, and a transient gleam of interest brightens their imperturbable countenances, and lends a brief energy to languid voices weary with crying "Cash!" Gathering both silks with a practised turn of the hand, he held them up for inspection, detecting at a glance which was the bride-elect and which the friend; for Kitty fell back to study the effect of the silvery white folds with an absorbing interest impossible to mistake, while Rose sat looking at the opal as if she scarcely heard a bland voice saying, with the rustle of silk so dear to girlish ears,--
"A superb thing; just opened; all the rage in Paris; very rare shade; trying to most, as the lady says, but quite perfect for a blonde."