The ache between my legs started again. Hearing him call my b.u.t.t a sweet a.s.s excited me, apparently. I liked how it felt when he touched my bottom. I squirmed in my seat, and his hand tightened around mine.
We didn"t say anything else. By the time he parked the truck at my apartment, the air felt hot, and I was breathing heavily. Glancing at Mase, I saw his jaw clenched tightly. His hand still held mine firmly.
When he cut off the engine and finally let my hand go, he jerked open his door and was out so fast you would have thought it was on fire. I watched him as he took long strides to my side of the truck and threw open the door. I started to get out, but then he was backing me up, crowding me in.
His nostrils flared as he got close to me, and his eyes flashed a needy look I understood. My entire body felt feverish, but his hands only touched my hips. His head lowered to my ear, and he ran his nose down and back up my neck. "G.o.d, you smell so good. I could smell you for f.u.c.king ever and be happy."
I grabbed his shoulders and held on. Words like that coming from Mase Manning made a girl light-headed.
"When we get inside, I want to take this dress off. Let me see you in this swimsuit. Please. I won"t ask for anything more. Just let me look at you and touch you . . . Just a little."
My body felt so fevered I was ready to rip everything off right now for him, but I knew the moment I did, I would panic. Reality would set in. I managed a nod and let him lead me out of the truck. He pressed a hot, hard kiss to my lips, more aggressive than the ones that had come before. I held on while he took that kiss. It wasn"t one of his easy, sweet ones, but it was exciting.
When he tore his mouth off mine, he muttered a curse, then led me to the apartment door and unlocked it before ushering me inside quickly.
Before I could catch my breath, his hands were taking the bottom of my sundress in his hands. "I"m just going to take this off. That"s all. Just need to see you," he whispered close to my ear, but he didn"t move until I nodded my head.
When I gave him the go-ahead, he lifted the dress slowly. Once it was over my bottom, he groaned. I lifted my arms, and he pulled it up and off. I didn"t move. I knew what he was looking at, and I closed my eyes tightly. I hadn"t looked at my b.u.t.t in the mirror in a long time. There was a good chance it was dimply. I really hoped it wasn"t. I walked a lot still. I was sure walking all my life had been one reason my bottom wasn"t ma.s.sive.
His fingertip brushed the underside of my left b.u.t.t cheek, and I gasped, but I didn"t move. He was touching me. Barely.
"There"s a freckle right here. I love this freckle. Best f.u.c.king freckle in the world," he said in a thick, deep voice.
Then I heard him move, and I glanced back to see him going down on his knees. I started to turn, and his hands grabbed my waist and held me still.
"Please, Reese. Don"t. Not yet," he begged. So I stayed still.
His warm breath hovered over my skin, and I trembled. Knowing his face was so close to any part of me was exciting, but this was almost too much. Then his lips grazed the same spot he"d touched, and I released a strangled cry from the shock and pleasure.
"Just had to kiss it," he said, pressing his lips against that spot again. Then his hands slid up over my bottom, and he squeezed gently. "Swear, Reese, this a.s.s is perfection," he said in a reverent tone. "So f.u.c.king glad you didn"t wear this swimsuit in front of other men tonight. This is my a.s.s. I don"t want anyone else seeing this juicy little piece of heaven."
I closed my eyes tightly. Was I really letting him kneel behind me and play with my bottom? My heart was racing, and the fever in my body was at an all-time high.
Mase moved some of the swimsuit covering my b.u.t.t over until more of my cheek was bared and pressed another kiss to me. Oh, G.o.d, he was kissing my bottom.
"You even smell good down here. I can smell how this excites you. It mixes well with that sweet cream cinnamon smell that clings to you."
I really needed something to hold on to before I melted into a puddle. My knees buckled a little, and Mase"s hands tightened on my waist as he stood back up behind me. He didn"t cover my bared cheek back up, and he slid his body up against mine.
He kissed my shoulder, then brushed my hair back off my neck and ran his nose over the curve of my ear. "I don"t want to do anything you aren"t ready for. But I want to touch you. That"s all. Nothing more. Are you ready for that? If not, it"s OK. I can just look." It sounded like that last part was ripped from him unwillingly.
All those beautiful women throwing themselves at him, and he wanted me. He chose me. I could let him touch me some. I wasn"t panicked yet, and right now, all I could think about was Mase and how he felt. How he made me feel. "Yes," I said, sounding as if I was completely out of breath.
He ran a finger down my neck and wrapped a strand of hair around his finger. "Thank you. For trusting me. You don"t have to, and knowing that you like my touch is the most f.u.c.king beautiful thing anyone"s ever given me."
He didn"t start groping at my body. Instead, we stood there, as he played with my hair and continued running his nose and lips over my neck and ear. I slowly leaned back into him as my body relaxed under his gentle caress.
"Your hair is like playing with silk," he whispered. "And your skin." He ran a hand down my bare arm and slid that same hand over the b.u.t.t cheek he had left exposed. "I"ve decided I"m obsessed with silk," he added.
I started to squirm when his hand slid back up my body, circling around to the front and stopping on my stomach. "Turn around, and let me see you," he said, stepping back from me.
I was breathing heavily, and I knew he could see it. But facing him made it more real. I would be able to see him as he looked at me.
His gaze ran down my body slowly, then back up again. There was a worshipful look on his face that made me feel cherished. Important. Protected.
Those were three things I had never felt.
I would not cry.
He stepped closer and placed his fingertips on my stomach, tracing my belly b.u.t.ton. Then both hands were on me, as he moved them up slowly until he grazed the bottoms of my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. With one finger, he traced my cleavage and dipped into the crevice between my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. "I want these bare and in my hands," he said, as he lifted his eyes to meet mine in a silent request.
I inhaled sharply but not from fear. I wanted that, too. The areas around my nipples were in pain, they ached so badly. "OK," I said, knowing he wouldn"t do anything until I said he could.
He slid his arms around me and untied the halter top and the back of my suit. It fell away and drifted to the floor, and my b.o.o.bs bounced free.
"f.u.c.k, those are amazing," he breathed, as his hands cupped them and his thumb played with my nipples. "Can I taste them?" He sounded like he was begging again.
"Yes," I said breathily, reaching out to grab his arms in case my knees completely gave out.
Mase growled and lowered his head. Then his tongue flicked at my right breast. He made a pleased sound in his chest before he pulled an entire nipple into his mouth and sucked on it.
My legs went weak, and I cried out as pleasure rocketed through my body.
Mase picked me up before I collapsed on the floor and carried me over to the sofa, sinking down with me firmly in his lap. He kissed my lips as I panted, still reeling from his mouth on my chest.
One of his hands still kneaded my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and I wanted his mouth there again. "Can I taste them again?"
I nodded, wanting to shove his head back down to my b.r.e.a.s.t.s and never let him up.
Mase"s warm mouth pulled the other nipple into his mouth, and I cried out again as my hands fisted in his hair. I worried that I might hurt him, but I had to hold on to something. His hands held my b.r.e.a.s.t.s as he kissed and even nibbled on them. I whimpered and cried out his name as I held his head against me. I wanted this to last forever.
The ache between my legs was so intense now that I had to squirm and squeeze my legs together. Something to make it stop. I needed it to stop.
"Spread your legs. I"ll make it better," Mase said in a demanding tone that startled me.
I wasn"t sure what to do. If I spread my legs, I knew he was going to touch me there. My body was saying yes, it needed it, but my brain was telling me it would hurt. I was dirty there.
"Please, baby. Let me take care of that p.u.s.s.y. It"s so wet I can smell you, Reese. It"s driving me crazy. I"ll even kiss it if you"ll let me. Anything, baby. I"ll do anything for you. f.u.c.king anything." He sounded desperate.
I loved him.
I didn"t want to lose him to some woman who didn"t need to be begged.
I wanted to make him happy.
I pushed the fear back and opened my legs just enough so that his hand slipped between them. He gently pulled my legs open more, and I held my breath as his hand slid down my thigh.
I fought the panic. I tried to keep it back. This was Mase. He was good to me. I loved him.
Then a finger slid inside my bikini bottoms, and the ache vanished as the memories crashed over me. I was going to be sick.
I couldn"t do this. Oh, G.o.d, I couldn"t do this.
I shoved his hand away and jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I couldn"t get sick.
Turning on the faucet, I splashed cold water on my face several times and told myself over and over that I was OK.
Mase.
I had never hated anyone as much as I hated myself at that moment. The only man I hated more was her G.o.dd.a.m.n stepfather. Afraid to touch her, I stood behind her as she splashed cold water on her face and chanted in a soft voice, "You"re OK. It"s OK. You"re OK. It"s OK."
With every "OK," my chest felt like it was being ripped wide open.
My head had been telling me to stop. I was pushing for too much. But I couldn"t stop touching her. She felt so f.u.c.king good. Seeing her face as I gave her pleasure was like crack. I wanted more and more of it.
I had scared her in the end, though. I was asking for too much.
But I wasn"t willing to lose her. I"d do whatever the h.e.l.l she wanted me to. I just didn"t want to lose her.
After what seemed like an eternity, she turned off the water and reached for a towel to dry her face. She took several deep breaths before dropping the towel and turning to face me.
I had started to apologize when her mouth puckered up into a pout, and then she burst into tears. s.h.i.t!
Without waiting for her, I pulled her into my arms. I didn"t know what to say. I didn"t know if she was crying because of me and what I"d done or if she was crying because of her own reaction.
"It"s OK, sweetheart. I got you. It"s OK," I said, trying to soothe her. I hated the sobs that caused her body to shake in my arms.
"I"m so-o-o-orry," she cried loudly.
f.u.c.k that. I picked her up, carried her to the bed, and sat down with her still in my arms. I leaned against the headboard and held her like a baby, cuddling her to my chest. "I told you not to apologize to me. Ever. It"s me who"s sorry, Reese."
She grabbed my T-shirt in her fist and cried harder.
"I"m br-r-roo-o-ken," she sobbed. "You do-o-on"t ha-ave to se-e-ttle for br-r-r-ooo-oken." She let out a loud wail like she was mourning a death.
G.o.d, I swore, if I ever found the man who did this to her, he would pay.
I tucked her head under my chin and tightened my hold on her. "You are perfect. So perfect that you take my breath away. I"m completely obsessed with you. You"re all I see anymore, Reese. Nothing about you is broken. Please, don"t let me ever hear you say that again. I want you to see yourself the way I do. This breathtaking beauty who has me so completely fascinated. She"s a fighter. She"s strong. She"s fun, and she is kind and honest. She doesn"t judge others. She accepts people for who they are. She doesn"t expect anything but gives beauty to the world around her freely. That is who I see, Reese. That is who you are. See that, too, sweetheart. Please, see that, too."
Her crying dissolved into little hiccups, but her grip on my shirt only intensified. I watched as she finally tilted her head back to look up at me with red, swollen eyes. Even now, she was still amazing.
"You think that . . . about me?"
I pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Yes, I do."
She started to say something, and her body tensed. I knew she was just now realizing that she was still topless. I shifted quickly, pulled my shirt off, and slipped it on her. I didn"t want her to move. Not yet.
She helped by putting her arms through the holes. It was too big on her, but seeing her covered up in my shirt stroked my possessive beast.
"Thank you," she said, wrapping her arms around her stomach like she was cuddling with my shirt. I liked that, too.
"I asked for too much tonight. This was my fault. I will be more careful in the future. I swear. Please, don"t stop trusting me," I said, needing her to believe me.
She frowned. "You always asked me. I could have said no. It isn"t your fault."
But it was. "Next time you want more, you will have to ask for it. I won"t push again. I swear to you."
Then we would both know she wanted it.
She sighed and covered her face with both hands. "I wish I wasn"t like this."
I did, too. But for different reasons. I wished she had no nightmares in her past. I hated that she suffered from something so horrific. h.e.l.l, I hated that she suffered at all.
"Will you hold me tonight while we sleep again?"
"You never have to ask that, Reese. The answer is always yes."
Late the next morning, I left Reese standing at the door wearing my shirt. It was the hardest thing I"d had to do. I didn"t like leaving her. I wanted her with me.
"Wear my shirt at night. I like knowing that you have something of mine when I"m gone."
She had nodded and let me kiss her before I took my duffel bag and headed back to Texas.
Reese.
Jimmy was at my door with two cappuccinos on Monday morning. I was so glad to see him that I hugged him tightly before taking my java goodness from him. "You"re back. Are you better? Can you sleep?"
He beamed at me. He loved the attention. "Yeah, I"m good. I had a few rough nights, but I"m better. I see they took the tape down."
I nodded. I tried not to think about the shooting. From the little I had seen on the news, I knew that Jacob was being held without bail. He would be tried for murder. And Melanie"s parents had come to take her body back to Iowa to bury her.
"I"m glad you"re back."
"Missed me, did ya? Good. I heard you broke Thad"s heart while I was gone. But since it was over Mase Manning, I"m gonna say that was a smart move, sugar. Thad might be pretty, and his a.s.s might be the tightest thing I"ve ever seen, but he likes to dip his d.i.c.k in a new woman every d.a.m.n night. Not your type at all."
I frowned, then laughed at his description of Thad. "More info than I needed, but OK."