A quick glance in the rear-vision mirror a.s.sured him Charlotte was still asleep.
Hey, Sophie?" He put his hand on her shoulder and roused her gently.
Her eyelids fluttered open and she smiled. Hey, what"s up?"
That was Daphne. Your grandfather"s in pain, and we"re meeting him at the hospital in Newcastle."
Her body knifed up. Oh, no! Stomach pain?"
Giving her shoulder a little squeeze of rea.s.surance, he said, Yes."
Is Daphne driving him?"
No. He"s in the medical chopper and she"s with him." He started the car. We"ll find out more when we get there."
Thankfully they hadn"t turned off the freeway for the vineyards, so were able to continue directly to the hospital. With each pa.s.sing kilometre, Sophie seemed to withdraw into herself, her stress evident in the way her teeth bit into her bottom lip and her hands clenched into tight fists on her thighs.
Logan made a quick phone call to Shirley, and told her that her nanny duty started immediately. He rang his PA so she could make the arrangements to get Shirley up to John Hunter Hospital as quickly as possible. Knowing Melissa had stayed at the Carlisle estate overnight, he phoned her as well and asked her to meet them at the hospital. Charlotte liked Melissa, and would be happy in her care. Logan needed to be at Sophie"s side.
Enquiries at the hospital informed them Rigby had been admitted to intensive care. Once they reached the ward, they were told the doctors were running tests and that he may need immediate surgery.
Logan stifled a curse. He wanted to be with Sophie but he couldn"t. He glanced down at Charlotte, who"d gone straight back to sleep in his arms when he"d lifted her out of the car seat. I"ll have to stay out until Melissa arrives to take care of Charlotte."
Of course," Sophie told him in a distracted voice. Take her to the cafeteria. She"s bound to be hungry when she wakes up."
I"ll be in there with you just as soon as I can," he vowed.
Logan hated seeing Sophie walk into the intensive care room by herself, but it was simply no place to take Charlotte.
Chapter 19.
Grandfather." Despite trying to be brave, Sophie simply couldn"t stop the flood of tears that blurred her eyes as she saw her grandfather"s grey appearance, and took in all the machines and monitors he was hooked up to.
He looked away slowly from Daphne, who was sitting by his bedside and holding his hand. Soph. Glad you"re here."
Willing her legs to move forward and trying to school her features so that her inner panic and anxiety were hidden, Sophie sat on the other side of the hospital bed from Daphne and took Rigby"s other hand.
Need to talk." Every word seemed to take so much effort from him.
Maybe you should just rest for now," she suggested.
No time," he said.
This is important, Sophie," Daphne said. I"m going to leave you two alone."
Rigby"s gaze flicked back to Daphne. No. Stay." He sent her a weak smile. Last night...should"ve been a double...wedding."
A huge sob wracked Daphne"s frame and the tears poured down her cheeks. Then you"d better get out of here fast, old man, and make a proper proposal."
Would you...accept this time?"
Yes," Daphne told him. I was silly to refuse you, but at least we were still together."
Sophie"s heart felt like a football in her chest. Life was too short for regrets. Grandfather had to get better, and he and Daphne had to get married.
Tears glistened from Rigby"s eyes. You know I"ve loved you...for a long time, Daphne." He looked back at Sophie. You take care of her."
I would, Grandfather, but I"m not going to need to. You"re going to get better."
A slight shake of his head was his only acknowledgement. He closed his eyes briefly, and Daphne dabbed at hers with a handkerchief.
It was a few moments before Grandfather"s eyelids parted again. Soph. So proud of you. You"re so capable. You could run Carlisle, but...it"s not the life...I want for you. Time you started living...for yourself...not doing what...you think I want you...to do."
Everything in her grandfather"s expression told her that he didn"t think he was going to make it. All the fight seemed to have gone right out of him, and he appeared to clutch at life more tentatively with each second that pa.s.sed.
Don"t want you to have a lonely life. Mining...too cut-throat for you. Love Jackson." Another weak smile. Be happy."
You need to be here, Rigby, to see them happy together," Daphne insisted in a desperate voice.
Rigby"s lower lip wobbled, and a fresh pool of tears appeared. Regret was etched into each feature. Regret and resignation. You"ve both...made...me happy."
His eyes closed.
Grandfather." They didn"t open. Grandfather!" A giant fist reached in and crushed her heart in its grip.
Rigby!" Daphne cried.
There was a terrible, ominous high-pitched beep.
Looking up at the screen of the cardiac monitor, Sophie watched helplessly as the last peak trailed off the screen, replaced by an endless flat line.
No! Grandfather!" she sobbed as she stood up. No!"
Don"t leave me, Rigby. I love you," Daphne cried.
Help!" Sophie shouted.
Belatedly she realised an alarm was going off out in the corridor at the nurse"s station. She became aware of the rush of footsteps, then she was physically pushed aside as hospital staff surrounded the bed. For the next few moments, everything was a blur before the harsh words registered.
Time of death - 1:17 pm."
No!" she cried frantically. Do something. Bring him back."
Your grandfather didn"t want to be resuscitated," a middle-aged doctor told her gently.
More tears welled in her eyes as she looked at her grandfather. He lay there at peace, and he"d decided he didn"t want to be revived to face a drawn-out battle with bowel cancer. It was his wish, and as much as she railed against it, she had to respect it.
Through her disbelief and utter shock, Sophie felt a terrible emptiness. There was a sense of surrealism about the whole event. Part of her brain must"ve shut down her emotional centre so she could look at everything as though she were disconnected from the scene. Daphne cried beside her.
She"d promised her grandfather to look after Daphne.
In those moments, she needed to look after Daphne. By supporting the older woman, Sophie would also have something else to focus on other than her own pain.
He"s gone!" Daphne sobbed. He had a bad pain. He told me it had started last night and he"d taken aspirin to try to get through it. I got help as soon as I knew about it."
It"s not your fault," Sophie tried to rea.s.sure her.
Miss Hamilton?" The middle-aged doctor approached.
Mrs Jackson, Sophie corrected in her mind, but merely nodded. Yes."
I"m sorry for your loss."
What happened, Doctor?" she asked.
I"ve just got the test results back. You"re aware your grandfather had gastro-intestinal cancer?"
Yes."
His bowel perforated, which is why he was suddenly in so much pain. The aspirin he took as a painkiller would only have made things worse."
If I"d only got him here sooner," Daphne cried.
The doctor sent her a sympathetic smile and shook his head. It wouldn"t have helped. His cancer was advanced. It had spread to his liver and lungs, and this latest X-ray shows that it had advanced rapidly just in the last week."
He was going to have surgery in a few days to have the affected bowel removed," Daphne said.
Another shake of the doctor"s head. He wouldn"t have been a candidate anymore. The spread was too fast and too extensive."
Sophie looked over to where her grandfather lay, and walked slowly toward him. His eyes were closed, and he looked peaceful. As she bent over to kiss him, one of her tears dropped onto his cheek and she raised her hand to wipe it away. I love you, Grandfather." Her breath came in great sobbing gulps. Pain pounded through her temples, and she couldn"t breathe through her clogged up nose any longer.
She knew Logan"s touch as strong arms encircled her and pulled her back against the solid warmth of his chest. I"m so sorry, Sophie."
Turning, she buried her head against his shirt. The dam wall that had barely been keeping her emotions in check burst, and she completely broke down.
Wordlessly, he stroked one hand down over her hair and just held her tight with the other. Sophie wasn"t sure how long she stayed like that, but Logan"s shirt-front was saturated in no time from her tears.
Come here, Daphne," she heard him urge.
Daphne joined them and the two of them cried in his arms together.
For a man who didn"t do emotion, Logan was handling this very well, Sophie thought fleetingly.
Excuse me," she heard a female voice say. I won"t interrupt you again while you say your final goodbyes, but just let me know at the nurses" station when you"re ready."
Final goodbyes.
The words brought fresh tears.
Sophie straightened and looked once more at her grandfather and gulped. Would you like to have some time alone with him, Daphne?"
Daphne nodded, seemingly unable to speak.
Sophie walked back to Rigby"s bedside one more time. Enclosing one of his hands in hers, she felt the paper-thin flesh that was cool now to the touch. Goodbye, Grandfather." Her lip wobbled and she sniffed loudly as she reached out and soothed the hair on his forehead. I love you so much and...I thank you for everything." Her chest heaved. You were the best." Logan put his arm around her and drew her back against his strength.
Are you ready to go, or do you want more time?"
Sophie shook her head and turned away, taking Logan"s hand.
We"ll give you some time alone and we"ll be waiting outside," Logan told Daphne as they walked out of the room.
Sophie was aware of a giant empty cavern right at her solar plexus, and a band of pain which extended behind each eye and across to her temples. Through all the heartache, she was grateful for Logan"s support and comforting presence.
Where"s Charlotte?" she asked.
Melissa"s arrived and she"s looking after her."
Reaching into her shoulder bag for tissues, Sophie wiped her eyes and blew her nose. She needed to think about Charlotte. She needed that distraction because she just couldn"t deal with her own pain level. It won"t be good for her to see me all upset like this."
It"s okay, sweetheart. Melissa knows Charlotte very well and she"s going to introduce her to Shirley, who"ll be here within the hour. Then they"ll drive her back to Sydney and both get her settled in to the house."
It"s all going to be very confusing for her."
Melissa"s on holidays from uni and she"ll stay with her until we get back. I"ve already phoned Serena, the social worker, and told her what"s happened. She"s fine with the arrangement."
The soft brush of his lips against hers was so tender she wanted to cry all over again.
Why don"t you go and use the bathroom to wash your face and freshen up, and I"ll wait here for Daphne?" he suggested.
She nodded and took a couple of steps away before she turned back. Thanks, Logan. I really appreciate that you"re here."
His head angled a little as he gave her a rea.s.suring smile. I"m your husband now, Sophie. I"ll always be here for you."
Any more tears and she"d dehydrate, she thought sternly to try to keep them at bay when she felt so needy for his presence.
I"ll be back soon," she told him as she turned to make her way to the bathroom.
Logan was her husband.
Rigby had urged her to love her husband, and she did. He"d told her to be happy. Happiness was within her grasp. Logan was committed to making their marriage work, and she"d be just as devoted to that. Their marriage was the one bright light beckoning to her through the darkness.