Thanks, Patrick. You have a good weekend and give my best wishes to Anne."
On that note, she really couldn"t wait for Patrick to go. When he left, she closed her office door and then returned back to her desk. If Patrick"s suspicions were correct, the whole thing would be a terrible legal mess and she wasn"t quite sure how the company"s reputation would survive Felix"s fraud.
She slumped back into her comfortable executive chair. Friday night, heading toward seven o"clock, and here she was stuck at the office facing a mammoth and extremely unpleasant task. Alone.
Was this really what she"d aspired to?
Other women were out with their lovers or home with their families.
The responsibility of running Carlisle Mining had never felt so undesirable. Certainly she"d had to make tough decisions in her role as Vice-Chairperson of the company and when she"d done her stint as Acting Managing Director. Every day had brought hard decisions that involved weighing up a mult.i.tude of factors. Profit, market trends, safety and welfare of employees, and environmental consequences of mining activity were just a few of the major considerations she"d been confronted with on a daily basis in the top job, and she"d been mentally stimulated but completely exhausted at the end of each day. Now she had to tackle fraud and as soon as the security commission was notified, she"d have to handle the backlash of the media and the inevitable slump in share market prices which would ensue. She hoped there wasn"t a hostile takeover bid looming because a slump in share prices would make the company very vulnerable.
Tired beyond belief and feeling more heavy hearted than she could ever remember, she raised a hand to her forehead and hoped that Patrick was wrong about an aggressive takeover bid being launched by a rival company. She wasn"t quite sure she had the strength to fight battles on both an internal and external front.
Could she cope with it all?
She had to. Rigby would rely on her to do so, and people"s employment depended upon it.
Did she want to have to cope with it? She slammed the door on that question. There was no option. Her grandfather certainly wasn"t up to the task with his health difficulties, and Felix was the problem in the first place. There was n.o.body else to sort through this mess and present it to the board.
She stared at the briefcase Patrick had left behind until her vision blurred.
The last few evenings she"d been happier than she"d ever been in her life. Being with Logan and making love to him had not only taught her ecstasy beyond her wildest imaginings, but had made her feel both content and strangely complete. Logan had shown her that the element of fun had been missing from her life. He"d given her something to focus on other than Carlisle Mining, the children"s charities she promoted and her grandfather"s well-being. She wished she could begin every day waking up in Logan"s arms and end each day drifting off to sleep with her head pillowed against his chest.
Even though she"d kept telling herself that all they shared was incredible s.e.x, she knew she"d been lying. It was far more than the physical side of their relationship that she looked forward to. Logan had been right in saying they could be friends as well as lovers. They talked long into the night in the periods where their bodies were replete and before desire flared again. They laughed, argued, flirted, joked and at times had a fierce clash of wills. But even when they were arguing, even when he was trying to be impossibly dominant or outrageous, Logan made her happy.
Maybe she should stop holding out for love, follow Sue"s advice and accept his proposal. Perhaps what they had was more than she"d ever have with anyone else, and possibly love might grow from the pa.s.sion and friendship they already shared.
Yet she still baulked, knowing it wouldn"t be fair to him to marry when she could never give him children. He might say now that he didn"t want kids, but if he changed his mind that would bring about another trip to the divorce courts and reinforce her feelings of inadequacy.
Maybe Logan wouldn"t want to marry her when the stain of this fraud within Carlisle Mining became public knowledge. Considering the only reason he wanted a wife in the first place was to present a good image to the court for his custody case, she suspected the smart thing for him to do would be to disa.s.sociate himself from her at a rapid rate of knots.
Forcing her eyes into focus, she stared again at the briefcase Patrick had entrusted her with. Part of her didn"t want to touch it. She didn"t want to see the evidence of her cousin"s duplicity. But it had to be done and it was up to her to do it. The pangs of loneliness echoed again through her heavy heart.
Chapter 11.
About forty-five minutes later, her head swam with the figures she was reconciling when there was a brief tap on the door. It swung open and pleasure fizzed through her when she saw Logan there, armed with a huge box of what smelled like Thai take-away food.
Special delivery," he told her. I managed to convince the security guard at the front desk that you"d want to see me. It wasn"t hard. He said he"s been on duty the last few nights when you"ve left with me and that the whole office is buzzing about our relationship."
Logan. You have no idea how happy I am to see you." She couldn"t help herself. She was up from the desk like a shot and he hardly had time to put the large box down onto a low table before she flung herself into his arms.
Baby, I"m happy to see you too. I was hoping you wouldn"t mind me arriving when you"d said you"d see me in the morning."
And the next second she released all her anxiety and stress and started to cry.
Sophie, honey, what"s going on?"
Through all the much-needed relief of her tears, Sophie felt like a dismal failure. Here she was, with all this responsibility, and the second her lover walked through the door she was reduced to a blubbering mess. All the strength, all the toughness she worked so hard to project simply evaporated in his presence and the only thing she knew was a need to take comfort from him. Why was it that in the presence of this strong alpha male, she seemed to lose all her strength and be reduced to a beta? Why did it feel just so d.a.m.ned good to be able to lean on him?
Sophie?"
She shook her head against his chest and clung harder to his shoulders even while she willed herself to move. Any second now she"d find the inner strength to pull away from him and act like a normal, rational human being instead of this dependent ninny she was becoming.
Swallowing hard on the emotion that had erupted from her chest and lodged in her throat, she stiffened her spine. I"m sorry about that."
His eyes searched hers and she saw the concern in their blue depths. That only made her want to cry harder.
She gave an embarra.s.sed little laugh. You"ll think I"m a complete flip but I just really needed that."
The last time you did that, you were recovering from a shattering o.r.g.a.s.m," he teased. I"m guessing you haven"t got another lover stashed away anywhere in this office, so do you want to tell me what brought that on?"
This time she was able to laugh and it felt really good. Logan was exactly what she needed.
No," she denied automatically, then thought better of it. Yeah. Actually I do." She sniffed and pulled away from him in search of a tissue. Hang on."
After wiping away her tears and blowing her nose, she went back to where he stood and cast her eye toward the large box of food. You sure know how to spoil a woman. That Thai food smells delicious."
Do you want to talk or eat first?"
I"ll talk while we eat." She was going to be brave now. No more displays of weakness. I"m not normally so p.r.o.ne to tearful outbursts."
No. You"re a strong, capable, determined woman." Admiration shone from his eyes and her heart warmed and expanded. I can tell you"ve had an extraordinarily bad day."
You"ve got that right." She completely forgot what she was about to say next as she went over to the box to start opening up the Thai food and found that as well as everything they needed for a picnic in her office, it also contained a bunch of long-stemmed roses. More beautiful roses." Joy lightened her mood immediately.
He came to stand beside her and encircled her waist with one arm while the other arm reached up to her face so he could trail his hand along her cheek.
Placing her hands against his chest, she stretched up to kiss him. What she"d intended to be a quick kiss, deepened, rendering her weak with longing. White, yellow and orange this time," she said breathlessly when he broke off to bestow kisses across her cheek and in the erogenous zone below her ear. Trying to keep her legs from buckling at the knees, she asked, Are you going to tell me what these colours represent?"
It took a few seconds before her words seemed to penetrate his mind enough for him to stop kissing her. There were a variety of different meanings for the colours on different Internet sites so I won"t swear by the meanings." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. But the orange signifies my desire for you -"
I thought that was what the coral had represented?"
He sent her a quirky smile. Well, I figure coral is just a lighter shade of orange, really. The darker colour means that my desire for you is growing stronger every day."
Oh! The words melted every bit of the core strength she"d been trying to summon and hold on to. His sentiments made her mushy. How could she resist this man?
Why would she want to?
Do you remember what the yellow means?" he asked.
Friendship and a new beginning." The meaning of the rose colours would stay with her as long as she lived for his gesture with the flowers was the most romantic she"d ever known.
You listened." He smiled as he dipped his head and teased her lips with an almost-there kiss. His minty breath was erotic, fanning against the side of her mouth as he said, But you"ll notice that these yellow roses are a deeper shade as well, which means that our friendship is also growing stronger."
Oh, again. And the white?" Her voice came out scratchy as she raised her hands to his shoulders and leant toward him.
His fingers settled on her chin and applied the slightest amount of pressure so that she looked up at him as he regarded her seriously. White can mean a number of things. The reason I chose it was to express that despite all your doubts and reservations about me...about us...I am worthy of you."
Tears p.r.i.c.ked the backs of her eyes once more and her heart squeezed at his sincere sentiments. Then she was on her tiptoes kissing him again and needing the hungry expertise of his mouth to take complete possession of hers to obliterate all the anguish of Patrick"s revelations. Logan didn"t disappoint. His tongue penetrated her mouth and incited a feverish response from her that left her breathless and weak. When he finally pulled back and began to rain kisses over her cheek, her eyelids and forehead, all she could think of was how much she wanted him to hold onto her and never let go.
It was Logan who ended their embrace when he heard her stomach rumble. You need to eat."
Her hunger wasn"t all for food, but she still had to sort through the mess that Felix had plunged the company into.
Would you serve up while I put these roses in some water?" she asked.
Sure."
When her task was complete, she slid her shoes off her feet and lowered herself to join him on to the carpeted floor. I"ve never had a picnic in my office."
I"m thinking your office experiences might need expanding. Maybe later, we can find another new office experience for you?" Wicked was the only word to describe the smile that spread across his features as he surveyed her desk, looked at her and winked.
She grinned back at him. That would definitely be a new experience, but I"m not sure I"d ever be able to concentrate on my work here again."
Spoilsport," he declared.
Over a delicious selection of starters and main meals, Sophie found herself telling Logan everything she"d learned about Felix"s activities. She refrained from telling him about the possibility of a takeover bid. That had yet to be confirmed and it was pointless speculating on and worrying about something that may never eventuate. Patrick would look into it and get back to her on Monday. Meanwhile, she had enough to deal with.
Watching Logan"s reactions carefully for any sign that he was going to pull away from her and bring their relationship to an abrupt halt because of the impending scandal, she was relieved when he merely listened and made supportive comments.
Frequently her eyes drifted to the roses and she thought about all he"d told her that they signified. Despite her corporate worries and concerns for her grandfather"s health, she felt like the luckiest woman on the planet.
Throughout their impromptu meal, even with the stressful work situation she was facing, Sophie felt the hum of awareness between them. It was in the tingle that spread up her arm as their fingers touched when he pa.s.sed her a gla.s.s of wine. It was there in the flash of desire in his eyes when he watched her tongue dart out to lick some of the sweet chilli sauce from her lips.
The roses he"d chosen were appropriate because their pa.s.sion and friendship was deepening. Logan was such a good listener and so considerate of her needs - his statement that he was worthy of her also rang true. Bit by bit he was wearing down her defences and making her believe that they could be happy together in the long-term - especially as his knowledge that Carlisle Mining was involved in a scandal of ma.s.sive proportions didn"t seem to be making any difference to his regard for her. Clearly he wasn"t concerned that their a.s.sociation could hinder his application for custody of Charlotte.
Picking up a paper serviette and wiping her mouth, she looked at him. I"m feeling a lot better now I"ve eaten, but mainly I"m feeling better now that you"re here," she admitted. It"s been so good to be able to talk to you about all this. It"s not easy being in charge of a huge company, is it?"
No, it isn"t. I"m certainly enjoying the pseudo break away. The responsibilities can suck the life right out of you if you don"t have the structures and the right people in place."
Clearly, my cousin needs to go."
Logan reached out and enclosed Sophie"s hands in his own. What you have to remember is to work to live, rather than living to work. A company is like a huge ship. Your job as captain is to employ the right people to hoist the sails, tighten the ropes and so on. All you should have to do is stand at the helm and steer the right course."
He was right, but for the first time in her life she was really wondering whether she wanted to sign up for this long voyage in seas that could be hostile and stormy. It would be so much nicer to drop anchor in some secluded little cove with this man as her lover. Closing her mind on her doubts, she said, Well, this ship has had the wrong captain at the helm for the last six months and there"s about to be mutiny!"
Logan smiled but quickly grew serious again. I don"t want you to have to work through the night by yourself on this. I"m happy to help you go through the paperwork if you"d like me to, or if not, to just sit here and be with you while you work."
The man was just too good to be true. She sighed, but resisted the urge to hug him. Thank you. I would really appreciate your help." Sophie couldn"t remember the last time she"d accepted help from anyone, especially in the business arena. For as long as she could remember she"d been busy trying to prove she could cut her own way through the corporate jungle. There"d always been part of her afraid that she"d be perceived as weak if she requested help. But the decision to accept help from Logan actually made her feel stronger.
They worked side by side into the early hours of the morning, absorbing all Patrick"s notes, checking and cross-checking all the d.a.m.ning evidence, until it was done.
When the paperwork had been locked back in the briefcase, Logan placed his hands on her shoulders. His strong fingers began to ma.s.sage the tightness away and she relaxed back against him, giving a little moan of pleasure.
I must be dreaming. No man can be so wonderful." She sighed.
The last few days have been fantastic. I"d say we have a good mix of respect, trust, friendship and pa.s.sion, wouldn"t you?" His fingers worked up the column of her neck, his thumbs working to knead out the stress.
Yes." There was no denying the truth of his statement.
The night we met, you told me you didn"t think you"d ever meet a guy who"d give you all those things, yet we share them."
She tensed again, despite his ma.s.saging, knowing exactly what this was leading to.
Marry me, Sophie. Let"s enjoy those things not just as a short-term arrangement as I initially proposed, but for the rest of our lives."
G.o.d, it was tempting. Every hour spent in his company made it more so. But it was the lack of love that was holding her back. She"d had respect, trust and friendship in her marriage to Jake as well and it hadn"t been enough. Yes, she and Logan had pa.s.sion, but what if the pa.s.sion dimmed? There"d be no love to hold them together. The thought of another collapsed marriage was the stumbling block because the relentless intrusion into her life from the media after her last divorce had nearly broken her. She"d felt so much like a failure and so incapable of finding personal happiness. Contemplating going through that again was just too much.
Pulling away from him, she turned around and looked up at him. You"ve conveniently forgotten the most essential requirement I have for marriage, Logan."
His lips twisted. Love? What is love, Sophie, if it isn"t all those things?"
Are you telling me you"re in love with me?"
His hesitation said it all. I"m telling you I"d be happy to marry you and can see us having a great life together." He must"ve been able to tell from her expression that what he was offering fell short of her expectations, for he went on to say, I love being with you."
Some consolation.
He loved being with her but he didn"t love her.
Friendship and pa.s.sion, but no love? How could that be possible? If there were no love it wouldn"t work. She was convinced of it. Surely she wasn"t wrong about something so fundamental to her beliefs? A great ball of frustration made her chest tight. Tonight she"d started questioning her desire to run the company and now she was wavering on what was really important to her in a relationship, and thinking it might be worthwhile grabbing what Logan was offering. Just what exactly was causing this shake-up?
Are you telling me you love me?" he demanded, his voice laced with frustration and a tinge of impatience.
With that burning question placing her squarely on the spot, the answer came like a King hit, spinning around in her head with such force that she caught her breath and felt giddy.
Yes. She"d fallen in love with Logan. Crushing pain followed the realisation. It was happening again - she was losing her heart to a man who simply didn"t want it. A man who, despite all his romantic gestures and consideration, told her he respected, trusted and desired her but didn"t love her.
No," she forced out, aware he was waiting for her answer. I"m not saying that." It might have just struck her as the truth, but there was no way she"d admit it. She wasn"t about to make a fool of herself again.
I"m sure it doesn"t get any better than this, Sophie. Marry me. You won"t regret it."
She stood up and paced around the other side of her desk, needing something solid between them. You want me to make a decision for a lifetime based on an acquaintance of less than a week?"
This is more than just an acquaintance. Don"t devalue what we have."
No." Her hand cut through the air and her stockinged toes curled into the carpet as every muscle in her body strained. I won"t marry you based on what we"ve enjoyed together for a few days, and if you can"t accept that then maybe it"s better if we end this right here."
A little pulse ticked away just above his jaw. He raised one hand and then dragged it through his hair in a gesture of frustration.