No, no. Never mind. I want to ask you something, Herr von Wolters. Tell me, what do you think of me?
v. Wolters (_confused_).
What do you mean, Countess?
The Lady.
I want to know what I have done that I should be doomed to bring so much sorrow into the lives of others. I had only just left school when a strange young man shot himself under my window. It was on my account that my husband was transferred here from his former garrison. Tell me, what mark of Cain do I bear that all men follow me? I dress as simply as I can. I never go out without a double veil. Sometimes I have actually been tempted to throw vitriol in my face!
v. Wolters (_candidly_).
Oh, that would have been a shame, Countess!
The Lady (_severely_).
Herr von Wolters!
v. Wolters.
Yes, Countess, to mar that image of divinity would be a sin--and I do not hesitate to repeat it beside the coffin of my friend.
The Lady.
Don"t! (_Reaches him her hand, which he kisses respectfully._) Dear me, how strange it seems! Yesterday we scarcely knew one another--those few visits at my house don"t count. To-day--this short conversation--and here we are, sitting side by side, the guardians of a secret which will be buried forever with him. It will, Herr von Wolters?
v. Wolters.
Ah, my dear Countess, please do not offend me.
The Lady.
Very well, I shall not worry. Did you love him very dearly?
v. Wolters.
I thought a great deal of him, Countess. He took care of me when I was a young fellow quite alone in the world. He was so-- Really, I don"t know how I shall-- (_breaking down._)
The Lady.
Courage, dear friend! We must both try to be brave.
v. Wolters (_firmly_).
Thank you, Countess. You will not have to reprove me again.
The Lady.
You evaded my question before. Do you consider me very guilty, Herr von Wolters?
v. Wolters.
He loved you, Countess. That makes you holy in my eyes.
The Lady.
I thank you for that word--little as I deserve it. It has never been my way to undervalue myself. But your opinion meant so much to me----
v. Wolters (_puzzled_).
What difference could my humble opinion----
The Lady.
Don"t say that, my dear friend. There are few people--perhaps not even my own husband--who have ever seen me as you see me at this moment--so weak, so helpless, so--I had almost said--unguarded. Remember that--and spare me.
v. Wolters.
I hope that I have not been inconsiderate, Countess.
The Lady.
(_Putting her hand to her brow, stammering._) No, no, no; it"s--it"s grieving for him that makes me lose my wits. The world had so long set me on a pedestal that I thought I belonged there. Now I feel as if I were torn down. Now I lie there-- Herr von Wolters, pay no attention to me!
v. Wolters.
If I could only help you, Countess!
The Lady (_smiling sorrowfully_).
Help me--you? And yet, why not? His friend and his beloved! It is we, you and I, who are paying the last honours to the dead. Who could know his worth better than we? Whose grief could be more eloquent than ours?
No, no, no--I must not talk. Ah, I see him before me now with his bright, careless smile--his conqueror"s smile! I suppose you never were courted by women as he was?
v. Wolters.
My dear Countess, I lead a fairly quiet, uneventful life.
The Lady.
But you"re not--you"re not a Puritan, are you?
v. Wolters.
I must let others judge of that, Countess.
The Lady.
Oh! I should like to cry out my sorrow to the whole world--say to them all, "You sordid souls, you couldn"t know how much I loved him! What do I care if you d.a.m.n me, if you----" (_The bell rings. She starts._) There"s the bell!