"That"s one way of lookin" at it, Eavan; I expect that"s your French view, likely; looks different, you see, to folks livin" where there"s cold, and sim"lar things, as b.u.t.terflies couldn"t find not to say comfortable. Way I look at it, it always seemed to me that grain come as near it as anything, go to compare things. Livin" in a grist-mill, I presume, I git into a grainy way of lookin" at the world. Now, take wheat! It comes up pooty enough, don"t it, in the fields? Show me a field o" wheat, and I"ll show you as handsome a thing as is made this side of Jordan. Wal, that might be a little child, we"ll say; if there"s a thing handsomer than a field o" wheat, it"s a little child. But bimeby comes reapin" and all, and then the trouble begins. First, it"s all in the rough, ain"t it, chaff and all, mixed together; and has to go through the thresher? Well, maybe that"s the lickin"s a boy"s father gives him. He don"t like "em,--I can feel Father Belfort"s lickin"s yet,--but they git red of a sight o" chaff, nonsense, airs, and what not, for him. Then it comes here to the grist-mill. Well, I may be gittin" a little mixed, boys, but you can foller if you try, I expect.
Say that"s startin" out in life, leavin" home, or bindin" to a trade, or whatever. Well, it goes into the duster, and there it gets more chaff blowed off"n it. And from the duster it goes into the hopper, and down in betwixt the stones; and them stones grind, grind, grind, till you"d think the life was ground clear"n out of it. But "tain"t so; contrary!
That"s affliction; the upper and nether millstone--Scriptur! Maybe sickness, maybe losin" your folks, maybe business troubles,--whichever comes is the wust, and more than any mortal man ever had to bear before.
Well, now, see! That stuff goes in there, grain; it comes out wheat flour! Then you take and wet it down and put your "east in,--that"s thought, I expect, or brains,--or might be a woman,--and you bake it in the oven,--call that--well, "git-up-and-git" is all I can think of, but I should aim for a better word, talkin" to a foreigner."
"Purpose," I suggested.
"That"s it! purpose! bake it in that oven, and you have a loaf of wheat bread, riz bread; and that"s the best eatin" that"s ben invented yet.
That"s food for the hungry,--which raw wheat ain"t, except it"s cattle.
But now you hear me, boys! To git wheat bread, riz bread, you"ve got to have wheat to begin with. You"ve got to have good stuff to start with.
You can"t make good riz bread out o" field corn. But take good stuff and grind it in the Lord"s mill, and you"ve got the best this world can give. That"s my philos"phy!"
He nodded his head to the last words, which fell slowly and weightily; and as he did so, the sparrow that had been perched on his head ran down his nose and fluttered in his face, seeming to ask how he dared make such a disturbance. "I beg your pardon, I"m sure!" said Ham. "I"d no notion I was interferin" with you. Why didn"t you hit one of your size?"
CHAPTER VII.
IT was in the grist-mill loft, too, that Yvon brought forward his great plan, what he called the project of his life,--that of taking me back to France with him. I remember how I laughed when he spoke of it; it seemed as easy for me to fly to the moon as to cross the ocean, a thing which none of my father"s people had done since the first settlers came. My mother, to be sure, had come from France, but that was a different matter; nor had her talk of the sea made me feel any longing for it. But Yvon had set his heart on it; and his gay talk flowed round and over my objections, as your brook runs over stones. I must go; I should go! I should see my tower, the castle of my fathers. It was out of repair, he could not deny that; but what! a n.o.ble chateau might still be made of it. Once restored, I would bring my father over to end his days with me, under the roof that alone could properly shelter a person of such n.o.bility. He had won my father"s heart, too, Melody, as he won all hearts; they understood each other in some fine, far-off way, that was beyond me. I sometimes felt a little pang that was not, I am glad to believe, jealousy, only a wish that I might be more like Yvon, more like my mother"s people, since it was that so charmed my poor father.
I asked Yvon how I was to live, how my father and I should support ourselves in our restored castle, and whose money would pay for the restoration. He threw this aside, and said that money was base, and he refused to consider it. It had nothing to do with the feelings, less than nothing with true n.o.bility. Should I then take my cobbler"s bench, I asked him, and make shoes for him and his neighbours, while my father tilled the ground? But then, for the first and almost the last time, I saw my friend angry; he became like a naughty, sulky child, and would hardly speak to me for the rest of the day.
But he clung to his idea, none the less; and, to my great surprise, my father took it up after awhile. He thought well, he told me, of Yvon"s plan; Yvon had talked it over with him. He, himself, was much stronger than he had been (this was true, Melody, or nothing would have induced me to leave him even for a week; Yvon had been like a cordial to him, and he had not had one of his seizures for weeks); and I could perfectly leave him under Abby"s care. I had not been strong myself, a voyage might be a good thing for me; and no doubt, after seeing with my own eyes the matters this young lad talked of, I would be glad enough to come home and settle to my trade, and would have much to think over as I sat at my bench. It might be that a man was better for seeing something of the world; he had never felt that the Lord intended him to travel, having brought to his own door all that the world held of what was best (he paused here, and said "Mary!" two or three times under his breath, a way he had when anything moved him), but it was not so with me, nor likely to be, and it might be a good thing for me to go. He had money laid by that would be mine, and I could take a portion of that, and have my holiday.
These are not his very words, Melody, but the sense of them. I was strangely surprised; and being young and eager, the thought came upon me for the first time that this thing was really possible; and with the thought came the longing, and a sense which I had only felt dimly before, and never let speak plain to me, as it were. I suppose every young man feels the desire to go somewhere else than the place where he has always abided. The world may be small and wretched, as some tell him, or great and golden, according to the speech of others; he believes neither one nor the other, he must see it with his own eyes. So this grew upon me, and I brooded over it, till my life was full of voices calling, and hands pointing across the sea, to the place which is Somewhere Else. I talked with Father L"Homme-Dieu, and he bade me go, and gave me his blessing; he had no doubt it was my pleasure, and might be my duty, in the way of making all that might be made of my life. I talked with Abby; she grew pale, and had but one word, "Your father!"
Something in her tone spoke loud to my heart, and there came into my mind a thought that I spoke out without waiting for it to cool.
"Won"t you marry my father, Abby?"
Abby"s hands fell in her lap, and she turned so white that I was frightened; still, I went on. "You love him better than any one else, except me." (She put her hand on her heart, I remember, Melody, and kept it there while I talked; she made no other sign.)
"And you can care for him ten times better than I could, you know that, Abby, dear; and--and--I know Mere-Marie would be pleased."
I looked in her face, and, young and thoughtless as I was, I saw that there which made me turn away and look out of the window. She did not speak at once; but presently said in her own voice, or only a little changed, "Don"t speak like that, Jakey dear! You know I"ll care for your father all I can, without that;" and so put me quietly aside, and talked about Yvon, and how good Father L"Homme-Dieu had been to me.
But I, being a lad that liked my own way when it did not seem a wrong one (and not only then, perhaps, my dear; not only then!), could not let my idea go so easily. It seemed to me a fine thing, and one that would bring happiness to one, at least; and I questioned whether the other would mind it much, being used to Abby all his life, and a manner of cousin to her, and she my mother"s first friend when she came to the village, and her best friend always. I was very young, Melody, and I spoke to my father about it; that same day it was, while my mind was still warm. If I had waited over night, I might have seen more clear.
"Father," said I; we were sitting in the kitchen after supper; it was a summer evening, soft and fair, but a little fire burned low on the hearth, and he sat near it, having grown chilly this last year.
"Father, would you think it possible to change your condition?"
He turned his eyes on me, with an asking look.
"Would you think it possible to marry Abby Rock?" I asked; and felt my heart sink, somehow, even with saying the words. My father hardly seemed to understand at first; he repeated, "Marry Abby Rock!" as if he saw no sense in the words; then it came to him, and I saw a great fire of anger grow in his eyes, till they were like flame in the dusk.
"I am a married man!" he said, slowly. "Are you a child, or lost to decency, that you speak of this to a married man?"
He paused, but I found nothing to say. He went on, his voice, that was even when he began, dropping deeper, and sinking as I never heard it.
"The Lord in His providence saw fit to take away my wife, your mother, before sickness, or age, or sorrow could strike her. I was left, to suffer some small part of what my sins merit, in the land of my sojourn.
The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. But because my wife Mary,--my wife Mary" (he lingered over the words, loving them so), "is a glorified spirit in another world, and I am a prisoner here, is she any less my wife, and I her faithful husband?
You are my son, and hers,--hers, Jakey; but if you ever say such words to me again, one house will not hold us both." He turned his head away, and I heard him murmuring under his breath, "Mary! Mary!" as I have said his way was; and I was silent and ashamed, fearing to speak lest I make matters worse; and so presently I slipped out and left him; and my fine plan came to naught, save to make two sad hearts sadder than they were.
But it was to be! Looking back, Melody, after fifty years, I am confident that it was the will of G.o.d, and was to be. In three weeks from that night, I was in France.
I pa.s.s over the wonder of the voyage; the sorrowful parting, too, that came before it, though I left all well, and my father to all appearances fully himself. I pa.s.s over these, straight to the night when Yvon and I arrived at his home in the south of France. We had been travelling several days since landing, and had stopped for two days in Paris. My head was still dizzy with the wonder and the brightness of it all. There was something homelike, too, in it. The very first people I met seemed to speak of my mother to me, as they flung out their hands and laughed and waved, so different from our ways at home. I was to see more of this, and to feel the two parts in me striving against each other; but it is early to speak of that.
The evening was warm and bright, as we came near Chateau Claire; that was the name of my friend"s home. A carriage had met us at the station, and as we drove along through a pretty country (though nothing to New England, I must always think), Yvon was deep in talk with the driver, who was an old servant, and full of news. I listened but little, being eager to see all my eyes could take in. Vines swung along the sides of the road, in a way that I always found extremely graceful, and wished we might have our grapes so at home. I was marvelling at the straw-roofed houses and the plots of land about them no bigger than Abby Rock"s best table-cloth, when suddenly Yvon bade pull up, and struck me on the shoulder. "_D"Arthenay, tenez foi!_" he cried in my ear; and pointed across the road. I turned, and saw in the dusk a stone tower, square and bold, covered with ivy, the heavy growth of years. It was all dim in the twilight, but I marked the arched door, with carving on the stone work above it, and the great round window that stared like a blind eye. I felt a tugging at my heart, Melody; the place stood so lonely and forlorn, yet with a stateliness that seemed n.o.ble. I could not but think of my father, and that he stood now like his own tower, that he would never see.
"Shall we alight now?" asked Yvon. "Or will you rather come by daylight, Jacques, to see the place in beauty of sunshine?"
I chose the latter, knowing that his family would be looking for him; and no one waited for me in La Tour D"Arthenay, as it was called in the country. Soon we were driving under a great gateway, and into a courtyard, and I saw the long front of a great stone house, with a light shining here and there.
"Welcome, Jacques!" cried Yvon, springing down as the great door opened; "welcome to Chateau Claire! Enter, then, my friend, as thy fathers entered in days of old!"
The light was bright that streamed from the doorway; I was dazzled, and stumbled a little as I went up the steps; the next moment I was standing in a wide hall, and a young lady was running forward to throw her arms round Yvon"s neck.
He embraced her tenderly, kissing her on both cheeks in the French manner; then, still holding her hand, he turned to me, and presented me to his sister. "This is my friend," he said, "of whom I wrote you, Valerie; M. D"Arthenay, of La Tour D"Arthenay, Mademoiselle de Ste.
Valerie!"
The young lady curtseyed low, and then, with a look at Yvon, gave me her hand in a way that made me feel I was welcome. A proper manner of shaking hands, my dear child, is a thing I have always impressed upon my pupils. There is nothing that so helps or hinders the first impression, which is often the last impression. When a person flaps a limp hand at me, I have no desire for it, if it were the finest hand in the world; nor do I allow any tricks of fashion in this matter, as sometimes seen, with waggling this way or that; it is a very offensive thing. Neither must one pinch with the finger-tips, nor grind the bones of one"s friend, as a strong man will be apt to do, mistaking violence for warmth; but give a firm, strong, steady pressure with the hand itself, that carries straight from the heart the message, "I am glad to see you!"
This is a speech I have made many times; I have kept the young lady waiting in the hall while I made it to you, thereby failing in good manners.
At the first glance, Valerie de Ste. Valerie seemed hardly more than a child, for she was slight and small; my first thought was, how like she was to her brother, with the same fair hair and dark, bright blue eyes.
She was dressed in a gown of white dimity, very fine, with ruffles at the foot of the skirt, and a fichu of the same crossed on her breast. I must say to you, my dear Melody, that it was from this first sight of her that I took the habit of observing a woman"s dress always. A woman of any age taking pains to adorn herself, it has always seemed to me boorish not to take careful note of the particulars of a toilet. Mlle.
de Ste. Valerie wore slippers of blue kid, her feet being remarkably slender and well-shaped; and a blue ribbon about her hair, in the manner of a double fillet. After a few gracious words, she went forward into a room at one side of the hall, we following, and here I was presented to her aunt, a lady who had lived with the brother and sister since their parents" death, a few years before this time. Of this lady, who was never my friend, I will say little. Her first aspect reminded me of frozen vinegar, carved into human shape; yet she had fine manners, and excused herself with dignity for not rising to salute us, being lame, as her nephew knew. For Yvon, though he kissed her hand (a thing I had never seen before), I thought there was little love in the greeting; nor did he seem oppressed with grief when she excused herself also from coming to sup with us.
At supper, we three together at a table that was like a small island of warm pleasantness in the great hollow dining-hall, Yvon was full of wild talk, we two others mostly listening. He had everything to tell, about the voyage, about his new friends, all of whom were n.o.ble and beautiful and clever.
"Figure to yourself, Valerie!" he cried. "I found our family there; the most n.o.ble, the most gigantic persons in the world! Thy cousin Jambon, it is a giant, eight feet high, at the least. He denies it, he is the soul of modesty, but I have eyes, and I see. This man has the soul greater than his vast body; we have discussed life, death, in short, the Infinite, we three, Jambon and Jacques and I. He has a father--both have fathers! it is the course of nature. The father of D"Arthenay here is a prince, a diamond of the old rock; ah! if our father of sainted memory could have known M. D"Arthenay _pere_, Valerie, he would have known the brother of his soul, as their sons know each other. Not so, Jacques? But _le pere_ Bellefort, Valerie, he is gigantesque, like his son. These rocks, these towers, they have the hearts of children, the smiles of a crowing infant. You laugh, D"Arthenay? I say something incorrect? how then?"
He had said nothing incorrect, I told him; I only thought it would be surprising to hear Father Belfort crow, as he hardly spoke three times in the day.
"True! but what silence! the silence of fullness, of benevolence.
Magnificent persons, not to be approached for goodness."
So he rattled on, while his sister"s blue eyes grew wider and wider. I did not in truth know what to say. I hardly recognised our plain people in the human wonders that Yvon was describing; I could hardly keep my countenance when he told her about Mlle. Roc, an angel of pious dignity.
I fancied Abby transported here, and set down at this table, all flowers and perfumed fruits and crimson-shaded lights; the idea seemed to me comical, though now I know that Abby Rock would do grace to any table, if it were the President"s. I was young then, and knew little. And so the lad talked on and on, and his fair young lady sister listened and marvelled, and I held my tongue and looked about me, and wondered was I awake or asleep.
CHAPTER VIII.
THE pictures come back fast and thick upon my mind. I suppose every life, even the quietest, has its picture-book, its record of some one time that seems filled with beauty or joy as a cup that brims over.