"Bet you"re waiting for my advice," Ben said after a bit.
"Do you have some?"
"Yep. Fake it "til you make it. Next time you"re with Rielle...act like you"ve got the hot s.e.x moves and she"ll believe you"ve got them. You will too."
"You think that"ll work?"
He grinned. "It already did once, didn"t it? You have the woman so fl.u.s.tered about you going all caveman on her a.s.s that she"s hiding from you. That ain"t the Rielle I know, trust me."
"I guess that makes sense." Maybe. Hopefully. f.u.c.k. How was he supposed to know?
"That wasn"t very convincing." Ben pushed up his hat a notch. "Tell me what your other option is?"
Gavin blinked.
"For the love of G.o.d, please don"t tell me you planned to confess your lack of s.e.xual experience, hoping she"d understand and you could discuss what to do about it." When Gavin didn"t respond, but must"ve looked guilty, Ben said, "Jesus, I can"t f.u.c.kin" believe you were actually considering that! Screw that. You need to f.u.c.k it out, not talk it out."
"So I shouldn"t talk to her at all?" Gavin said skeptically.
Ben muttered something. Then he sighed. "Talking is important, especially in the type of s.e.xual activities I prefer. But in your case? Save the talking for after. First, act like you"re gonna rock her world in bed and then follow through with it. Besides, it"s not like women come with an instruction manual."
No way could Gavin confess he"d bought the book Amazing s.e.x for Dummies Amazing s.e.x for Dummies. And How To Go Down On A Woman How To Go Down On A Woman. And s.e.x Secrets from p.o.r.n Stars s.e.x Secrets from p.o.r.n Stars. And Making Love 101 Making Love 101. Ben would laugh his a.s.s off.
"Come on, bro, you"ve got a guilty d.a.m.n look on your face. Tell me what you"re thinking."
"I"ve lived my life by honesty is the best policy, Ben. This feels dishonest."
"But it"s not like you"re lyin" to her." He brooded for a moment. "Lemme ask you this; how do you feel when you see Rielle?"
"Like stripping her bare and taking her right that second. Christ. All she has to do is walk past me and I"m hard. I think about her constantly. Fantasize about all the things I wanna do to her."
"Make those thoughts reality. Let your l.u.s.t for her be your guide. Women want spontaneity. They want the sole focus to be what the two of you are doin" to each other right at that moment. The rest is just mechanics." He held up a gloved hand. "With the exception of BDSM. That takes some skill if you wanna go that direction. Even if it"s not, it"s fun to dabble."
Dabble in tying Rielle up and spanking her a.s.s? Yeah, that might be out of her comfort zone. Or...out of his.
"And if you"re lookin" for inspiration or ideas or whatever, watch p.o.r.n."
"I can just see Sierra walking in when I"m taking notes on different positions." He sighed. "Am I just kidding myself that this will work even if I do figure out how to rock Rielle"s world? Do I smuggle Rielle into my room? Or sneak into hers? And doesn"t it make me a hypocrite to tell Sierra to wait to have s.e.x when I plan to f.u.c.k Rielle nine ways "til Sunday?"
"Maybe it makes me a d.i.c.k, but I"ll point out that you deserve to have an adult relationship. You"re forty-three. Sierra is sixteen. Different expectations, bud. Should Sierra find you and Rielle f.u.c.king on the countertop? Nope. Does that mean you and Rielle shouldn"t f.u.c.k on the countertop? Nope. It"s all about timing. Including when you and Rielle decide to tell Sierra that the two of you are romantically involved."
"That"d be another first."
"I suspect it"d be a first for Ree too. But if you"re intimate with her, at least give her the courtesy of owning up to it. Don"t treat her or what the two of you are doin" behind closed doors as a dirty secret."
Gavin considered that and nodded.
"Anything else?" Ben asked.
"No. Thanks. I really appreciate your advice."
"Happy to help."
He adjusted his seat on the saddle and his ornery horse decided to take advantage of the slack in the reins. Gavin pulled d.u.c.h.ess to a stop with a firm tug and a sharp warning.
"That"s it," Ben encouraged. "If she gets it in her head to lead, you show her who"s boss right quick."
Again, Gavin understood his brother wasn"t just referring to horses.
Chapter Fifteen
Needing fortification, courage, b.a.l.l.s-whatever, Rielle tossed back half the lemon-drop martini. "I need some advice."
"I hope it"s not medical advice, because Doctor Monroe is not in tonight," Joely said.
"It"s personal. And slightly embarra.s.sing."
"Embarra.s.sing? Interesting." Joely sipped from her martini gla.s.s, shrewd eyes focused completely on Rielle. "Spill it."
She blurted out, "I had s.e.x with Gavin Daniels."
"Girlfriend, are you serious?" Joely grinned and lifted her gla.s.s for a toast. "That is awesome!"
"Except it wasn"t."
"It wasn"t awesome? Explain that. In detail."
Her cheeks flamed. "Long story short. Thursday night Gavin had a party for the McKays. I freaked out and hid in my former bedroom. Gavin found me and tried to calm me down. So we"re out on the balcony and he"s touching me and the next thing I know, he hoisted me against the wall and f.u.c.ked me."
"And this is bad...how?"
Rielle angled across the table. "It was fast."
"For you? Or him?"
"For both of us. I had an o.r.g.a.s.m within about fifteen seconds and I was so embarra.s.sed about it I didn"t make a sound. Then afterward, I realized I hadn"t touched him at all. I just set my hands on his shoulders and let him f.u.c.k me."
"Sweets, I gotta ask this. Did Gavin notice you didn"t partic.i.p.ate very much?"
"That"s what I"m worried about. We haven"t seen each other since. And we live together so I"m pretty sure he"s avoiding me because I proved to be a lousy lay." She finished her martini and slid the empty to the edge of the table. "Or worse, he immediately figured out how little s.e.xual experience I"ve had."
Joely held up her hand. "Hold on. Back up. Tell me how it played out from the time Gavin found you in his bedroom."
As Rielle relayed the events, she remembered how awesome that buzz of s.e.xual antic.i.p.ation felt. How much she liked having Gavin"s hands on her. His mouth on her. And how wet he"d made her in such a short amount of time. She sent Joely a panicked look.
But Joely was deep in thought. Then she smiled. "Okay. Let me put on my stethoscope for a bit. Hot, spontaneous s.e.x isn"t the norm for you. Let"s talk about your s.e.xual history."
G.o.d. No. This was exactly what Rielle was trying to avoid.
Wrong. This is exactly what you need.
Joely squeezed her hand. "Hey. It"s me. I"m thankful for our friendship, Ree, and I"d be the last person to pa.s.s judgment on you. I want to help, "cause, sugar, I think you need it."
She blew out a slow breath. "s.e.xual history. Right. I got pregnant at sixteen the first time I had s.e.x. The guy..." Rielle closed her eyes. She couldn"t even remember what he looked like. That guilt ate at her, this disconnect with the man who was the father of her child.
Cool fingers wrapped her fingers around the stem of a martini gla.s.s. "Drink this. It"ll help."
Rielle opened her eyes and smiled. "Thanks."
"Take your time. We can get hammered tonight because I have designated drivers on call."
Not the first time Joely had mentioned that. After a minute, Rielle said, "You know I was raised by hippie parents with the live-off-the-land, make-our-own-way, screw-the-man att.i.tude."
"That sounds familiar. Wouldn"t it be hysterical if your hippie parents knew my hippie parents? Or had spent time in the same peace, free-love and no nukes commune?"
"That"d be a total trip, man."
Joely laughed. "Keep going. We"ll compare notes later."
"Our doors were open for anyone who would work for food and shelter-very much a commune-like vibe." She allowed a small smirk. "Rumors flew that my folks grew pot on their funky little piece of land in McKay country. Untrue. They"d grown it in California, and surprisingly, they had a profitable business. My mother, the smarter of my parents because she hadn"t smoked all the profits and the product, sold their operation. We moved here when I was eight. They didn"t believe in formal education so I was home schooled. None of the transients who crashed with us had kids, so I grew up isolated, from kids my own age and society in general." Feeling like a freak, she looked at Joely. "Was it like that for you?"
"No. I lived in a commune where all kids were raised by the community. We called everyone mother and father. I had thirty siblings. We were dressed the same. We didn"t even sleep in the same bed every night, lest we get attached to material objects. I had nothing of my own; everything was shared. But they did at least educate us, which allowed me to get the h.e.l.l out." Sadness pa.s.sed through her eyes. "But enough about that. This is about you. Keep talking."
Rielle hoped someday Joely would fill in the blanks of her life before she became Doctor Monroe. "Given that history you can imagine how a sixteen-year-old-girl, starved for attention, and just discovering s.e.xuality, would react when an older guy started paying attention to me. Talking to me. Listening to me. Touching me. I craved that touch because my parents were unaffectionate."
"With each other too?"
"Yes. They had an open relationship. I remember seeing Mom sleeping on the couch when Dad was in their bedroom with someone else. Same with my dad sleeping on the couch when Mom was having a meeting having a meeting with some dude in their bedroom." with some dude in their bedroom."
"At least it was equal opportunity "meetings" for them."
"True." She smiled. "You"d think I"d have picked up the basics on s.e.x, but I was so d.a.m.n nave. When "John"-" she made air quotes, "-kissed me and touched me and told me it was okay, it was natural, I believed him. But the night he came into my room and took my virginity? There wasn"t sweet words or kisses or anything but the smell of pot smoke clinging to his clothes as he crawled on top of me." Rielle felt Joely"s piercing stare, but she needed to get through this part to get to the heart of the matter. "I ended up pregnant. I had no idea I was pregnant until about the fifth month and I kept feeling all this stuff going on inside me and I"d put on weight. My mother figured it out. Four months later I gave birth to Rory, at home, with some whacked-out midwife and my mother in attendance."
"Oh sugar," Joely said. "You were just a baby yourself."
"I know. But I loved my baby so much. She was perfect and all mine. I didn"t have s.e.x again until the night of my twenty-first birthday. I ended up doing it with some sweet-talkin" cowboy in his pickup. I went home with him afterward and we had s.e.x again. I tried oral. Received oral. But it wasn"t great. I thought there was something wrong with me and decided s.e.x wasn"t worth the ha.s.sle. Plus I had that whole "young, single mother" stigma and I didn"t want to have a reputation that Rory would have to deal with. The two other times I"ve been attracted to a guy and we ended up having s.e.x, it"s always been a disappointment. So, like I said. I"ve always figured it was me."
"Was it a disappointment with Gavin?"
"Only in how I reacted. I was shocked because I"ve never had an o.r.g.a.s.m with a man during s.e.x. During oral? Yes. I can get off by my own hand, so I know I"m not incapable. I"m just..."
"Inexperienced," Joely finished.
"At age forty. Gee, wouldn"t you wanna get all up in this?"
"I totally would, if I didn"t have a serious love of c.o.c.k."
Rielle choked on her drink.
Joely grinned. "I love shocking you."
"No s.h.i.t. So, tell me, Doctor Love, what should I do?"
"First off, do you want a s.e.xual relationship with Gavin?"
"Yes."
"Then I"m writing you a script for birth control pills." She pulled a pad out of her purse, filled it out and pa.s.sed it over. "Get that filled tomorrow, you hear me? Use alternative birth control methods for a month."
"Yes, Doctor Monroe."
"Do you think your inexperience will scare him off?"
"Maybe it already has. How do I convince him to give me another try?"
"Besides getting on your knees?"
"Joely!"
She laughed. "That would work, trust me. But in all seriousness, come on to him. Tell him he made you come so hard that night you were speechless. Tell him you can"t stop thinking about him. Tell him you want him. Then prove it. Seduce the f.u.c.k outta him."
Rielle considered that advice and polished off another martini. She had a decent buzz going. "How many of these have we had?"
"Three. Each. And now that one is empty." She signaled to the c.o.c.ktail waitress for another round.
"I"m hardcore tonight."
"d.a.m.n straight. Besides, you wouldn"t have the guts to talk to me without a little liquid courage."
"True. Now I"m mulling over your advice and it"s your turn to confess how Joely gets her jollies."
"Hilarious. Like you, I can only admit what I really want when I"ve put away several of these babies."
"Wanna explain that?"
She ran her hand through her short red hair. "I can"t explain it to myself. It"s so f.u.c.ked up. Every time I swear I"ll never do it again...I do." She scowled over her shoulder. "Where the h.e.l.l is my d.a.m.n drink?"
"Hey, look at me." When she had Joely"s attention, she said, "This road runs both ways, girlfriend. I"m as good at keeping confidences as you are. Any time you"re ready to spill, I"m here."