Sebastian gazed at him critically and then grabbed his chart. "What, are you a doctor now too, Prince Sebastian?" Blaze laughed.
"No," he said with a grin. "But I did use to play rugby actually. I liked that I got to beat up on people because it was not generally a proper royal thing to do." He winked at Blaze who smiled. "And I know that when playing rugby you"re much more likely to hurt your knee or your shoulder. How did you manage to break your arm like that? Not really easy to do by my calculation, even if you"re the new guy."
There was silence for a moment before Sebastian continued. "Blaze, what did you do?"
"Made a horrible calculation apparently." The ruse only lasted for a moment before he continued on in a completely different tone of voice. "I didn"t count on him being such a coward. Or having friends quite that h.o.m.ophobic." He paused for another moment. "It"s cliched to say but really, you should see the other guys."
"Was it -?" Sebastian didn"t even need to finish the sentence, Blaze"s nod filling in the blanks. "Kat is going to kill you when she finds out. And she"ll find out when they get back together in a few weeks. That"s how it always goes, right?"
Blaze met his gaze, straight on. "I was hoping you were gonna help me with that." And his meaning was impossible to misconstrue.
Sebastian smiled a bit ruefully and looked down at the floor, contemplating. "Your sister doesn"t feel that way about me. She"s made that crystal clear."
Blaze barked a laugh. "Really? You think my careful, practical, planning sister, she just hops off to corners unknown, leaving me by myself, for just anyone?"
"I didn"t give her much of a choice."
"Kat has perfected the art of saying no Sebi. She always finds a way, even when she"d rather not. She never does anything, Anything, she doesn"t want to. Anything."
"Okay. Anything. Got it."
"How many times did she do you?"
Sebastian was taken aback by that question. "Wow. I was not expecting that." Now he knew how Kat must have felt, staring down the twin inquisitions of his mother and sister. "I"m going to respectfully decline to answer."
"Kat says you"re engaged."
Sebastian took a deep breath. "Kat would be . . . wrong."
"Do you still have none?" At the quizzical look on the Prince"s face, he added, "Intentions, I mean."
"I have quite a few now actually." There was that rueful smile again. "But it doesn"t seem like they matter. We had a scene outside. She doesn"t want me anywhere near her."
"Pay attention Prince Pretty Boy, I"ll only say this once." Blaze paused for a moment before continuing. "You know, my sister is not perfect, far from it. She"s sarcastic and biting and pushy and opinionated and stubborn. And witty and gorgeous and unappreciated. And blind to it all. She doesn"t need someone to take care of her she can manage that better than anyone I know. She needs someone to value her. I don"t know anyone that deserves to be treated like a princess more."
Sebastian was quiet. "Is that what you see when you look at me? Just a pandering Prince, just a t.i.tle."
"No. I see a s.e.xy, teasing, handsome charmer that, though I don"t understand it, seems made for my sister. I could be wrong; this could be how you always are and I"m making an irrevocably big mistake laying it all on the line and telling you this. But somehow I don"t think so. I"ve never, in my whole life, seen Kat shine the way she does when she"s with you. And I"m not going to let me stand in the way of that. Or lay, as the case may be."
"Kat? Kat?!" Blaze asked as he laughed, throwing a towel in her face to get her attention. "Kat."
"What?" she asked a bit crossly, readjusting in her chair so she wasn"t half slumped over her breakfast.
"You haven"t heard a word I said."
"I was listening," she protested, but not very heartily.
"Yeah? Then what did I say?"
"Uhhhh" was all she managed.
"I said I wanted to go off and streak through Central Park. Your response? I validate that." She looked a little chagrined.
"Listening when I said I wanted to go to school to become a phlebotomist."
"You faint at the sight of blood," she interjected.
"I validate that," he mimed in her voice, completely ignoring her now. "When I said Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny secretly run a candy conglomerate. I validate that."
"Now you"re just being stupid." She threw the towel back at him and stood, placing her now soggy and barely touched cereal in the sink.
"Where"s your head at Kat? You"ve been in benign sister defense mode for days and it"s starting to freak me out."
"Nothing"s wrong with me, I"m fine." It was so simple to keep on lying; it wasn"t even difficult for her to meet his eyes.
"No honey nothing"s wrong with me, I"m fine. You"re something else entirely."
"You"re not fine," she said, eyes glancing furtively at the light blue cast on his arm. And the hand braced against him so as not to disturb the broken ribs.
"I am," Blaze protested, taking two steps and putting her in shaking range. "I"m fine. You can"t go on worrying about me Kitten. All it"s gonna give you is a headache."
"From all the thinking I"m not used to?" she mused, an attempt to lighten the mood.
But Blaze didn"t take it. "From all the stress. You have an Atlas complex little sister."
"Look who"s spent too much time talking to Gio."
"The weight of the world does not rest on your shoulders. My life and decisions are not yours to contend with," Blaze continued.
"But look what happens. I leave for a few days and you end up in the hospital."
"I would have ended up there anyway. I really sucked at rugby. You wouldn"t have been able to stop me from going."
She gave him an arrogant, skeptical look and he couldn"t stifle a laugh. "I"m an expert at stopping you Blaze. I could teach a master cla.s.s in it."
"But it"s time I stop letting you. I"m capable of doing a lot more on my own than you give me credit for honey. But you needed to mother me; you needed that plan and that control. You needed it so I let you have it. But now you need to know that I"m not broken and you can"t hide behind me anymore."
"I"m not hiding," she protested, hands quickly finding their way to her hips.
"Kat, what do you want to do with your life?" The question came out of nowhere and caught her off guard. She never thought about want; her plans were always a necessity, always a need. Needed to go work so they were able to keep the heat on. Needed to learn to cook so they wouldn"t starve. Needed to encourage Blaze so that he wouldn"t fall into a depressive episode. Need, need, need.
"I don"t know," she answered truthfully. Though the Royal ballroom floated through her mind. So perfect, so pretty she had helped with that.
"Don"t you think it"s time you found out?"
She let the softly asked question sit there between them for a moment but she was afraid. Afraid of answering and having everything change. Afraid of answering and having everything stay the same. Afraid of not finding any answers at all.
She disregarded it and shook her head, summoning a plastic smile to her lips and pushing away all thoughts of parties. "But I"m mysterious, just how I like it."
"It"s time you stop. And it"s time you stop letting everyone else define you."
He sounded so serious. But she couldn"t take this right now, couldn"t deal with this on top of everything else. "I"ll take that under advis.e.m.e.nt," she said, patting him on the arm as she breezed past him.
"Kat, I"m moving in with Gio."
She turned, stunned. "What?!"
He blushed and a smile hung crookedly off his face. "Yes well he was really great when I hurt myself and really great in the hospital. I think he can handle it. Me, I mean."
"That"s . . . that"s great. I"m really happy for the both of you. Really." And she was. Gio grounded him. Blaze hadn"t had an episode since they"d started hanging out.
"Yeah, well it"s not happening right away. We haven"t worked anything out yet. And it"s not like we"re moving across the country. h.e.l.l, he might move in here. You"re still stuck with me Kitten."
"He can"t move in here, I"ll never get into the bathroom. That hair of his must take an hour." She winked at Blaze and he came forward to give her a hug. He was a bit stockier than the last guy that wrapped his arms around her and she couldn"t help but compare. He"d been leaner, smelled like a Viking, sandalwood and cedar, not paint thinner and lacquer. And he would have whispered something inappropriate in her ear with that s.e.xy accent.
"You know I really think I"m onto something with that Santa Claus thing," Blaze murmured instead. It wasn"t the same.
The door of the loft opened and Lane barged in, dressed like one of the hippie street musicians that hung out in the park. If Kat didn"t know better she would have feared a tambourine and folk music was about to fill the apartment, exactly the opposite of what she needed right now. "What did you do for yourself today?" The same old tired refrain.
Kat just shrugged her shoulders. "I didn"t scream at little children on the street. That has to count for something." Lane"s eyes narrowed at her friend, accompanied by the accessing stare so useful when undercover. "I mean "
"What are you hiding?"
Kat cursed herself for being so cavalier. This was not what she wanted. She didn"t want to talk about her feelings or Sebastian or anything that had happened in Sezynia. She"d gotten away so far by focusing on Blaze, offering only what explanations were absolutely necessary and then changing the subject. She didn"t need this right now. There was no way she"d be able to cope.
"Nothing. Why would I hide anything from you?"
Lane scoffed and just continued to stare at her. "The Prince is back in town you know."
"Was in town. A few days ago. He"s probably long gone by now."
"Not unless he got what he came for." When Kat didn"t respond Lane changed tactics. "Why did it take so long for you to introduce Sebastian to Blaze?"
"Because I didn"t know "
"Wrong," Lane interrupted. "Wrong."
"What?"
"The same reason it took you so d.a.m.n long to introduce Blaze is the same reason it took you seconds to introduce me. Don"t you know why the h.e.l.l that is?" But it was a rhetorical question; the minute Kat opened her mouth to answer, Lane answered for her. "Because Sebastian. He mattered. He matters."
Kat rolled her eyes. "And that"s supposed to mean what?"
"Not like that other f.u.c.king guy," Lane continued on as if she hadn"t even spoken. "Not like Marco who you could care less about but for some reason got stuck in your head that you were destined to f.u.c.k and flee for the foreseeable future. But Prince Charming he could be the real deal."
"He"s not Prince Charming."
"He"s definitely a prince. And he"s one h.e.l.l of a charmer."
Kat looked at her for a long moment before she shook her head in disbelief. "My life is not a fairytale Lane," she ground out through clenched teeth.
"There"s a foreign land and a castle. And an honest to f.u.c.king G.o.d Prince. Some people do live fairytales Kat. Why can"t it be you?"
"It"s not my fairytale. It"s not my happy ending. Prince Charming doesn"t love me! And he"s marrying someone else! I"m not princess material, I"m the f.u.c.king fairy G.o.dmother, making everyone else"s dreams come true. Okay? Can we just drop it?"
Kat couldn"t sit there any longer. She jumped up like the couch was on fire and stalked to the kitchen.
"You love him, don"t you?"
"That would be a horrible error. Why would that be part of my plan?"
"Life does not always go according to plan honey."
"I don"t want to talk about this anymore." The tears were quite clear in Kat"s voice, threatening to fall any minute.
"Sometimes talking helps."
Kat skirted Lane"s comforting hand and turned with her eyes so angry and conflicted it shocked her friend. "How? How would it help? Telling you, fine, yes, I love the f.u.c.king charming b.a.s.t.a.r.d that I left behind in Sezynia and can"t have. That his family was so nice and welcoming that I could picture myself there, with them, and do, every night since I got back. That it broke my heart, multiple times, to see him with that girl he"s going to marry. That I hate myself for pushing him towards her. That even though I"m so miserable I wouldn"t do one f.u.c.king thing different and it would turn out exactly the same. How does any of that help?"
"You"re not alone," Lane said.
That got her. That was it, the floodgates opening and a bone weary tiredness consuming every last ounce of her anger. "Then why do I feel it?" And she stood there and cried, again, for him.
Chapter 26.
Kat walked out into the sunshine of the day and felt her soul bristle, a scowl already on her face. How could anything be so cheery when she was slowly crumbling? Hours of rearranging furniture and setting tables and moving centerpieces around the room had done nothing to help what was truly ailing her.
She glanced down the sidewalk and shook her head, bemused in spite of herself, to see her best friend lounging against the side of the building. She was a truly magnificent version of herself, looking every inch of the bad a.s.s warrior that she was.
"What are you doing here?" Kat asked.
Lane held out her arms and glanced down at herself black leather boots, skinny jeans, simple t-shirt, scarf, and cardigan, her blond hair stick straight. "A blessed day without dress-up. This calls for lunch."
"I know what you"re trying to do here. It won"t work." But Kat couldn"t help but smile as she linked arms with her and they started down the street.
"We"ll see about that." They continued on in silence, for once one that Kat didn"t rush to fill. After four blocks Lane couldn"t ignore the tension emanating from her best friend any longer. "Okay, spill it."
Kat would have tried to avoid Lane"s eyes but she knew it wouldn"t have helped. Those eyes were too shrewd, able to pick a secret out from fifty yards away. The familiar refrain Nothing, I"m fine was on the tip of her tongue but she couldn"t bring herself to say it. She"d told Lane everything earlier in the week anyway, what was the point of trying to pretend any longer?
"I miss him," she said. After a second she leaned her head on her best friend"s shoulder with a sigh.