Rudder Grange

Chapter 25

""Jiguel," says he.

""Can ask me, if you don"t know what chi-VAL-ric or romantic thing you ought to do or to say so as to feel yourself truly an" reely a earl, for I"ve read a lot about these people, an" know jus" what ought to be did."

"Well, he set himself down an" thought a while, an" then he says, "All right. We"ll do that, an" we"ll begin to-morrow mornin", for I"ve got a little business to do in the city which wouldn"t be exactly the right thing for me to stoop to after I"m a earl, so I"ll go in an" do it while I"m a common person, an" come back this afternoon, an you can walk about an" look at the dry falls, an" amuse yourself gen"rally, till I come back."

""All right," says I, an" off he goes.

"He come back afore dark, an" the nex" mornin" we got ready to start off.

""Have you any particular place to go?" says he.

""No," says I, "one place is as likely to be as good as another for our style o" thing. If it don"t suit, we can imagine it does."

""That"ll do," says he, an" we had our trunk sent to the station, and walked ourselves. When we got there, he says to me,

"Which number will you have, five or seven?"

""Either one will suit me, Earl Miguel," says I.

""Jiguel," says he, "an" we"ll make it seven. An" now I"ll go an" look at the time-table, an" we"ll buy tickets for the seventh station from here. The seventh station," says he, comin" back, "is Pokus. We"ll go to Pokus."

"So when the train come we got in, an" got out at Pokus. It was a pretty sort of a place, out in the country, with the houses scattered a long ways apart, like stingy chicken-feed.

""Let"s walk down this road," says he, "till we come to a good house for a castle, an" then we can ask "em to take us to board, an" if they wont do it we"ll go to the next, an" so on."

""All right," says I, glad enough to see how pat he entered into the thing.

"We walked a good ways, an" pa.s.sed some little houses that neither of us thought would do, without more imaginin" than would pay, till we came to a pretty big house near the river, which struck our fancy in a minute.

It was a stone house, an" it had trees aroun" it, there was a garden with a wall, an" things seemed to suit first-rate, so we made up our minds right off that we"d try this place.

""You wait here under this tree," says he, "an" I"ll go an" ask "em if they"ll take us to board for a while."

"So I waits, an" he goes up to the gate, an" pretty soon he comes out an" says, "All right, they"ll take us, an" they"ll send a man with a wheelbarrer to the station for our trunk." So in we goes. The man was a country-like lookin" man, an" his wife was a very pleasant woman. The house wasn"t furnished very fine, but we didn"t care for that, an"

they gave us a big room that had rafters instid of a ceilin", an" a big fire-place, an" that, I said, was jus" exac"ly what we wanted. The room was almos" like a donjon itself, which he said he reckoned had once been a kitchin, but I told him that a earl hadn"t nothin" to do with kitchins, an" that this was a tapestry chamber, an" I"d tell him all about the strange figgers on the embroidered hangin"s, when the shadders begun to fall.

"It rained a little that afternoon, an" we stayed in our room, an" hung our clothes an" things about on nails an" hooks, an" made believe they was armor an" ancient trophies an" portraits of a long line of ancesters. I did most of the make-believin" but he agreed to ev"rything.

The man who kep" the house"s wife brought us our supper about dark, because she said she thought we might like to have it together cozy, an"

so we did, an" was glad enough of it; an" after supper we sat before the fire-place, where we made-believe the flames was a-roarin" an" cracklin"

an" a-lightin" up the bright places on the armor a-hangin" aroun", while the storm--which we made-believe--was a-ragin" an" whirlin" outside. I told him a long story about a lord an" a lady, which was two or three stories I had read, run together, an" we had a splendid time. It all seemed real real to me."

CHAPTER XV. IN WHICH TWO NEW FRIENDS DISPORT THEMSELVES.

"The nex" mornin" was fine an" nice," continued Pomona, "an" after our breakfast had been brought to us, we went out in the grounds to take a walk. There was lots of trees back of the house, with walks among "em, an" altogether it was so ole-timey an" castleish that I was as happy as a lark.

""Come along, Earl Miguel," I says; "let us tread a measure "neath these mantlin" trees."

""All right," says he. "Your Jiguel attends you. An" what might our n.o.ble second name be? What is we earl an" earl-ess of?"

""Oh, anything," says I. "Let"s take any name at random."

""All right," says he. "Let it be random. Earl an" Earl-ess Random. Come along."

"So we walks about, I feelin" mighty n.o.ble an" springy, an" afore long we sees another couple a-walkin" about under the trees.

""Who"s them?" says I.

""Don"t know," says he, "but I expect they"re some o" the other boarders. The man said he had other boarders when I spoke to him about takin" us."

""Let"s make-believe they"re a count an" count says I. "Count an"

Countess of--"

""Milwaukee," says he.

"I didn"t think much of this for a n.o.ble name, but still it would do well enough, an" so we called "em the Count an" Countess of Milwaukee, an" we kep" on a meanderin". Pretty soon he gets tired an" says he was agoin" back to the house to have a smoke because he thought it was time to have a little fun which weren"t all imaginations, an" I says to him to go along, but it would be the hardest thing in this world for me to imagine any fun in smokin". He laughed an" went back, while I walked on, a-makin"-believe a page, in blue puffed breeches, was a-holdin" up my train, which was of light-green velvet trimmed with silver lace.

Pretty soon, turnin" a little corner, I meets the Count and Countess of Milwaukee. She was a small lady, dressed in black, an" he was a big fat man about fifty years old, with a grayish beard. They both wore little straw hats, exac"ly alike, an" had on green carpet-slippers.

"They stops when they sees me, an" the lady she bows and says "good-mornin"," an" then she smiles, very pleasant, an" asks if I was a-livin" here, an" when I said I was, she says she was too, for the present, an" what was my name. I had half a mind to say the Earl-ess Random, but she was so pleasant and sociable that I didn"t like to seem to be makin" fun, an" so I said I was Mrs. De Henderson.

""An" I," says she, "am Mrs. General Andrew Jackson, widow of the ex-President of the United States. I am staying here on business connected with the United States Bank. This is my brother," says she, pointin" to the big man.

""How d"ye do?" says he, a-puttin" his hands together, turnin" his toes out an" makin" a funny little bow. "I am General Tom Thumb," he says in a deep, gruff voice, "an" I"ve been before all the crown-ed heads of Europe, Asia, Africa, America an" Australia,--all a"s but one,--an" I"m waitin" here for a team of four little milk-white oxen, no bigger than tall cats, which is to be hitched to a little hay-wagon, which I am to ride in, with a little pitch-fork an" real farmer"s clothes, only small. This will come to-morrow, when I will pay for it an" ride away to exhibit. It may be here now, an" I will go an" see. Good-bye."

""Good-bye, likewise," says the lady. "I hope you"ll have all you"re thinkin" you"re havin", an" more too, but less if you"d like it.

Farewell." An" away they goes.

"Well, you may be sure, I stood there amazed enough, an" mad too when I heard her talk about my bein" all I was a-thinkin" I was. I was sure my husband--scarce two weeks old, a husband--had told all. It was too bad.

I wished I had jus" said I was the Earl-ess of Random an" bra.s.sed it out.

"I rushed back an" foun" him smokin" a pipe on a back porch. I charged him with his perfidy, but he vowed so earnest that he had not told these people of our fancies, or ever had spoke to "em, that I had to believe him.

""I expec"," says he, "that they"re jus" makin"-believe--as we are.

There aint no patent on make-believes."

"This didn"t satisfy me, an" as he seemed to be so careless about it I walked away, an" left him to his pipe. I determined to go take a walk along some of the country roads an" think this thing over for myself.

I went aroun" to the front gate, where the woman of the house was a-standin" talkin" to somebody, an" I jus" bowed to her, for I didn"t feel like sayin" anything, an" walked past her.

""h.e.l.lo!" said she, jumpin" in front of me an" shuttin" the gate.

"You can"t go out here. If you want to walk you can walk about in the grounds. There"s lots of shady paths."

""Can"t go out!" says I. "Can"t go out! What do you mean by that?"

""I mean jus" what I say," said she, an" she locked the gate.

"I was so mad that I could have pushed her over an" broke the gate, but I thought that if there was anything of that kind to do I had a husband whose business it was to attend to it, an" so I runs aroun" to him to tell him. He had gone in, but I met Mrs. Jackson an" her brother.

""What"s the matter?" said she, seein" what a hurry I was in.

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