"Of course the poor fellow suffers frightfully," explained Mrs. Effie, "shut off there away from all he"d been brought up to, but good has come of it, for his presence has simply done wonders for us. Before he came our social life was too awful for words--oh, a _mixture_!
Practically every one in town attended our dances; no one had ever told us any better. The Bohemian set mingled freely with the very oldest families--oh, in a way that would never be tolerated in London society, I"m sure. And everything so crude! Why, I can remember when no one thought of putting doilies under the finger-bowls. No tone to it at all. For years we had no country club, if you can believe that.
And even now, in spite of the efforts of Charles and a few of us, there are still some of the older families that are simply sloppy in their entertaining. And promiscuous. The trouble I"ve had with the Senator and Cousin Egbert!"
"The Flouds are an old family?" I suggested, wishing to understand these matters deeply.
"The Flouds," she answered impressively, "were living in Red Gap before the spur track was ever run out to the canning factory--and I guess you know what that means!"
"Quite so, Madam," I suggested; and, indeed, though it puzzled me a bit, it sounded rather tremendous, as meaning with us something like since the battle of Hastings.
"But, as I say, Charles at once gave us a glimpse of the better things. Thanks to him, the Bohemian set and the North Side set are now fairly distinct. The sc.r.a.ps we"ve had with that Bohemian set! He has a real genius for leadership, Charles has, but I know he often finds it so discouraging, getting people to know their places. Even his own mother-in-law, Mrs. Lysander John Pettengill--but you"ll see to-morrow how impossible she is, poor old soul! I shouldn"t talk about her, I really shouldn"t. Awfully good heart the poor old dear has, but--well, I don"t see why I shouldn"t tell you the exact truth in plain words--you"d find it out soon enough. She is simply a confirmed _mixer_. The trial she"s been and is to poor Charles! Almost no respect for any of the higher things he stands for--and temper? Well, I"ve heard her swear at him till you"d have thought it was Jeff Tuttle packing a green cayuse for the first time. Words? Talk about words!
And Cousin Egbert always standing in with her. He"s been another awful trial, refusing to play tennis at the country club, or to take up golf, or do any of those smart things, though I got him a beautiful lot of sticks. But no: when he isn"t out in the hills, he"d rather sit down in that back room at the Silver Dollar saloon, playing cribbage all day with a lot of drunken loafers. But I"m so hoping that will be changed, now that I"ve made him see there are better things in life.
Don"t you really think he"s another man?"
"To an extent, Madam, I dare say," I replied cautiously.
"It"s chiefly what I got you for," she went on. "And then, in a general way you will give tone to our establishment. The moment I saw you I knew you could be an influence for good among us. No one there has ever had anything like you. Not even Charles. He"s tried to have American valets, but you never can get them to understand their place.
Charles finds them so offensively familiar. They don"t seem to realize. But of course you realize."
I inclined my head in sympathetic understanding.
"I"m looking forward to Charles meeting you. I guess he"ll be a little put out at our having you, but there"s no harm letting him see I"m to be reckoned with. Naturally his wife, Millie, is more or less mentioned as a social leader, but I never could see that she is really any more prominent than I am. In fact, last year after our Bazaar of All Nations our pictures in costume were in the Spokane paper as "Red Gap"s Rival Society Queens," and I suppose that"s what we are, though we work together pretty well as a rule. Still, I must say, having you puts me a couple of notches ahead of her. Only, for heaven"s sake, keep your eye on Cousin Egbert!"
"I shall do my duty, Madam," I returned, thinking it all rather morbidly interesting, these weird details about their county families.
"I"m sure you will," she said at parting. "I feel that we shall do things right this year. Last year the Sunday Spokane paper used to have nearly a column under the heading "Social Doings of Red Gap"s Smart Set." This year we"ll have a good two columns, if I don"t miss my guess."
In the smoking-compartment I found Cousin Egbert staring gloomily into vacancy, as one might say, the reason I knew being that he had vainly pleaded with Mrs. Effie to be allowed to spend this time at their Coney Island, which is a sort of Brighton. He transferred his stare to me, but it lost none of its gloom.
"h.e.l.l begins to pop!" said he.
"Referring to what, sir?" I rejoined with some severity, for I have never held with profanity.
"Referring to Charles Belknap Hyphen Jackson of Boston, Ma.s.s.," said he, "the greatest little trouble-maker that ever crossed the hills--with a bracelet on one wrist and a watch on the other and a one-shot eyegla.s.s and a gold cigareet case and key chains, rings, bangles, and jewellery till he"d sink like lead if he ever fell into the crick with all that metal on."
"You are speaking, sir, about a person who matters enormously," I rebuked him.
"If I hadn"t been afraid of getting arrested I"d have shot him long ago."
"It"s not done, sir," I said, quite horrified by his rash words.
"It"s liable to be," he insisted. "I bet Ma Pettengill will go in with me on it any time I give her the word. Say, listen! there"s one good mixer."
"The confirmed Mixer, sir?" For I remembered the term.
"The best ever. Any one can set into her game that"s got a stack of chips." He uttered this with deep feeling, whatever it might exactly mean.
"I can be pushed just so far," he insisted sullenly. It struck me then that he should perhaps have been kept longer in one of the European capitals. I feared his brief contact with those refining influences had left him less polished than Mrs. Effie seemed to hope. I wondered uneasily if he might not cause her to miss her guess. Yet I saw he was in no mood to be reasoned with, and I retired to my bed which the blackamoor guard had done out. Here I meditated profoundly for some time before I slept.
Morning found our coach shunted to a siding at a backwoods settlement on the borders of an inland sea. The scene was wild beyond description, where quite almost anything might be expected to happen, though I was a bit rea.s.sured by the presence of a number of persons of both s.e.xes who appeared to make little of the dangers by which we were surrounded. I mean to say since they thus took their women into the wilds so freely, I would still be a dead sportsman.
After a brief wait at a rude quay we embarked on a launch and steamed out over the water. Mile after mile we pa.s.sed wooded sh.o.r.es that sloped up to mountains of prodigious height. Indeed the description of the Rocky Mountains, of which I take these to be a part, have not been overdrawn. From time to time, at the edge of the primeval forest, I could make out the rude shelters of hunter and trapper who braved these perils for the sake of a scanty livelihood for their hardy wives and little ones.
Cousin Egbert, beside me, seemed unimpressed, making no outcry at the fearsome wildness of the scene, and when I spoke of the terrific height of the mountains he merely admonished me to "quit my kidding."
The sole interest he had thus far displayed was in the t.i.tle of our craft--_Storm King_.
"Think of the guy"s imagination, naming this here chafing dish the _Storm King_!" said he; but I was impatient of levity at so solemn a moment, and promptly rebuked him for having donned a cravat that I had warned him was for town wear alone; whereat he subsided and did not again intrude upon me.
Far ahead, at length, I could descry an open glade at the forest edge, and above this I soon spied floating the North American flag, or national emblem. It is, of course, known to us that the natives are given to making rather a silly noise over this flag of theirs, but in this instance--the pioneer fighting his way into the wilderness and hoisting it above his frontier home--I felt strangely indisposed to criticise. I understood that he could be greatly cheered by the flag of the country he had left behind.
We now neared a small dock from which two ladies brandished handkerchiefs at us, and were presently welcomed by them. I had no difficulty in identifying the Mrs. Charles Belknap-Jackson, a lively featured brunette of neutral tints, rather stubby as to figure, but modishly done out in white flannels. She surveyed us interestedly through a lorgnon, observing which Mrs. Effie was quick with her own.
I surmised that neither of them was skilled with this form of gla.s.s (which must really be raised with an air or it"s no good); also that each was not a little chagrined to note that the other possessed one.
Nor was it less evident that the other lady was the mother of Mrs.
Belknap-Jackson; I mean to say, the confirmed Mixer--an elderly person of immense bulk in gray walking-skirt, heavy boots, and a flowered blouse that was overwhelming. Her face, under her grayish thatch of hair, was broad and smiling, the eyes keen, the mouth wide, and the nose rather a bit blobby. Although at every point she was far from vogue, she impressed me not unpleasantly. Even her voice, a magnificently hoa.r.s.e rumble, was primed with a sort of uncouth good-will which one might accept in the States. Of course it would never do with us.
I fancied I could at once detect why they had called her the "Mixer."
She embraced Mrs. Effie with an air of being about to strangle the woman; she affectionately wrung the hands of Cousin Egbert, and had grasped my own tightly before I could evade her, not having looked for that sort of thing.
"That"s Cousin Egbert"s man!" called Mrs. Effie. But even then the powerful creature would not release me until her daughter had called sharply, "Maw! Don"t you hear? He"s a _man_!" Nevertheless she gave my hand a parting shake before turning to the others.
"Glad to see a human face at last!" she boomed. "Here I"ve been a month in this d.i.n.ky hole," which I thought strange, since we were surrounded by league upon league of the primal wilderness. "Cooped up like a hen in a barrel," she added in tones that must have carried well out over the lake.
"Cousin Egbert"s man," repeated Mrs. Effie, a little ostentatiously, I thought. "Poor Egbert"s so dependent on him--quite helpless without him."
Cousin Egbert muttered sullenly to himself as he a.s.sisted me with the bags. Then he straightened himself to address them.
"Won him in a game of freeze-out," he remarked quite viciously.
"Does he doll Sour-dough up like that all the time?" demanded the Mixer, "or has he just come from a masquerade? What"s he represent, anyway?" And these words when I had taken especial pains and resorted to all manner of threats to turn him smartly out in the walking-suit of a pioneer!
"Maw!" cried our hostess, "do try to forget that dreadful nickname of Egbert"s."
"I sure will if he keeps his disguise on," she rumbled back. "The old horned toad is most as funny as Jackson."
Really, I mean to say, they talked most amazingly. I was but too glad when they moved on and we could follow with the bags.
"Calls her "Maw" all right now," hissed Cousin Egbert in my ear, "but when that begoshed husband of hers is around the house she calls her "Mater.""
His tone was vastly bitter. He continued to mutter sullenly to himself--a way he had--until we had disposed of the luggage and I was laying out his afternoon and evening wear in one of the small detached houses to which we had been a.s.signed. Nor did he sink his grievance on the arrival of the Mixer a few moments later. He now addressed her as "Ma" and asked if she had "the makings," which puzzled me until she drew from the pocket of her skirt a small cloth sack of tobacco and some bits of brown paper, from which they both fashioned cigarettes.
"The smart set of Red Gap is holding its first annual meeting for the election of officers back there," she began after she had emitted twin jets of smoke from the widely separated corners of her set mouth.
"I say, you know, where"s Hyphen old top?" demanded Cousin Egbert in a quite vile imitation of one speaking in the correct manner.
"Fishing," answered the Mixer with a grin. "In a thousand dollars"
worth of clothes. These here Eastern trout won"t notice you unless you dress right." I thought this strange indeed, but Cousin Egbert merely grinned in his turn.
"How"d he get you into this awfully horrid rough place?" he next demanded.