Noah did his best to keep himself busy until Sunday rolled around but it was difficult because reminders of Violet were everywhere. Especially at work. More than one of his students had innocently asked him where Miss Violet was.
He had to explain to them that she was busy. Not all of them took it so easily. His students adored her.
"But it"s been more than a month! She always comes to visit us for at least a few weeks at a time…" one of them said sullenly.
The kid wasn"t wrong. Normally Violet dropped by every day she had a show going on since rehearsals started later in the day. She hadn"t during her run of Cinderella and he wondered why that was.
It wasn"t like she could go visit Jeremy while he was at work; her dad would never let her get away with that. Unless she used the excuse of visiting her dad…
Ugh, he really didn"t get it! What was so great about that guy? Was she so desperate to feel loved that she would take it from anybody? The thought made Noah feel even worse because it meant that he was too much of a n.o.body to even be considered an option despite how obvious he thought his feelings were.
Noah did end up hanging out with Kristen and her boyfriend several times that week because he had nothing better to do. They were nice people. Plus their relations.h.i.+p was so casual that he didn"t even feel like that much of a third wheel.
His mom noticed something was off with him though because whenever he did come home, he was gloomier than usual. He wasn"t like that when he had been hanging out with Violet.
"Noah? Sweetie? Are you alright?" she asked kindly.
When he shook his head, unable to even articulate his tangled thoughts and feelings, Jennica simply wrapped her arms around him. She was tall for a woman but was still several inches shorter than he was so her head rested on his shoulder as they hugged.
He tightened his hold on her and buried his face in her neck, needing the comfort. His voice broke as he finally managed to speak.
"Why aren"t I good enough, Mom?"
Jennica pulled back and looked up at him, gently caressing his cheek. "Now what idiot went and told you that?"
Her fierce tone didn"t match her gentle actions and he couldn"t help but let out a tiny laugh. She had always been protective of the people she loved. Noah was lucky to have her as his mother.
"n.o.body said it," he admitted. "But if I were good enough Violet wouldn"t be dating someone else. Again."
She sighed and ruffled his hair. "Ah, sweetie, you can"t think like that. People can"t control their feelings. Whether or not somebody likes you isn"t your problem. If Violet can"t see how wonderful you are, it"s her loss."
That didn"t make him feel any better. It wasn"t her loss. It was his.
Maybe Noah really would be better off avoiding her until this all blew over. But not seeing her at all was definitely worse than seeing her with someone else. He had learned that in college. He wasn"t sure what he was supposed to do.
===
On Sunday Noah met Violet at a nearby arcade. They had refurbished a bunch of ancient video game machines in addition to offering the more common VR ones. A lot of people liked the retro games for nostalgic purposes.
As expected, despite the misery he had experienced all week knowing she was with someone else, he was happiest being around her. Being in love with someone who didn"t love you back truly was the worst.
But he loved watching how hard she concentrated while playing the games and the exhilarated look on her face when she won something. It was easier to push thoughts of Jeremy out of mind and pretend that this was a normal day of them hanging out together.
That plan came to a screeching halt when Violet told him about her Thanksgiving plans.
"You invited him over? Seriously? Isn"t it a little soon?" Noah asked skeptically.
"I couldn"t let somebody be alone on a holiday," she replied a bit defensively. "Besides, it"s not like he"s a stranger. My dad knows him really well. And you know my mom likes taking in people who have nowhere to go on Thanksgiving."
That much was true but did it have to be Jeremy? That was too much like boyfriend territory, not taking-in-a-stray-for-the-day territory. Things were more serious than he originally thought.
Noah was so upset by this news that he ended up knocking the air hockey puck into his own goal three times, allowing Violet to win. She laughed in delight because usually she couldn"t beat him at that game.
"So what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" she asked once they started their second game of air hockey.
"Going down to the naval base in V.i.r.g.i.nia to spend it with my uncle Brian"s family," Noah replied dully.
"Why do you sound so upset about it? I thought you liked those cousins."
"I do. It"s something else," he said crisply, refusing to give more details. Telling her why he was upset would be tantamount to a confession.
Violet frowned and stopped the puck with her paddle before scrutinizing him. "You really don"t look good. What is it?"
Noah sighed. How could she see right through him about most things and still be too dense to know he was in love with her? She had always been like this. She was astute about everything and everyone unless she was personally involved.
"You wouldn"t believe me if I told you."
"Try me."
"It really isn"t a big deal, Vi," he lied.
As long as she liked someone else, Noah didn"t want her to know about his feelings. He knew he didn"t have a chance and it would only make things awkward between them. That was one thing he could never do. His easy relations.h.i.+p with her was something he wouldn"t sacrifice for anything in the world.
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