The words seemed to crack in the cold autumn air.
"Jon loves you, too."
His heart, already bruised, suffered another blow.
"How can you disappoint him?"
"I have to," was all he said as he handed her her jeans. Sniffling loudly, she dressed, but she was obviously through begging and pleading and having her self-worth dragged through the mud. He watched as her shoulders stiffened and pride straightened her backbone.
Good. She"d need all the strength she could round up.
They dressed and rode back to the house in silence, leaving their hearts and vows of love on the ridge. Daegan mentally kicked himself over and over again for making love to her-not that he wouldn"t do it over again if he had the chance. G.o.d, she was beautiful and prideful and loving and more woman than he"d ever met before, but by making love to her, he"d stepped across a line that was too dangerous to even contemplate-emotional commitment which he could never vow.
After taking care of the horses and leaving them with fresh hay and water in the barn, he offered her more coffee, which she drank slowly in Eli McIntyre"s dilapidated little kitchen. Though sadness lingered in her eyes, she managed a half smile. "I can"t imagine anyone wanting to give up all this luxury," she teased.
"It"s hard."
"But Montana beckons?"
"It was a mistake to think I needed to move away."
Her gaze held his. "There must be another reason." Was it his imagination or did the cup in her fingers tremble slightly?
Time to come up with a lie that will make her hate you so that she never comes looking. "There is." "There is."
He counted out the seconds in the pulse at her throat. She didn"t move, and quiet despair twisted her features. "Which is?"
"I was running away."
"Do I want to know from what?"
"Probably not."
"Oh, G.o.d, you have a wife."
He should have said "yes" and gotten it over with. Instead he said, "Ex-wife."
"And children?" she barely said.
His throat closed in on itself. "A...a son. About Jon"s age. He, uh, lives with his mother and it"s probably better that way. I wasn"t much of a father."
Disbelief clouded her eyes. "But you"re so good with Jon." Her voice failed her. "You lied to me."
"Yes." Oh, lady, if you only knew. Oh, lady, if you only knew. "But you lied, too. About Jon." "But you lied, too. About Jon."
"You were going to leave and not let me know."
"No, I came by to say good-bye."
"Even though we made love."
He reached across the table and took her hand in his. "Believe me, I"ll never regret it."
Her life, already falling apart, seemed to unravel even further. He read the pain in her eyes. "That"s it? It"s over?" Disbelief warred with disappointment.
It will never be over. Not with you and me. He felt it in his soul. "It has to be." He felt it in his soul. "It has to be."
"You b.a.s.t.a.r.d! b.a.s.t.a.r.d! You lying, no-good..." Before her anger carried her away, she stopped and stared at him for a heart-splintering second. Standing abruptly, she let out a little sound of protest and dropped her cup, sloshing coffee. "Good-bye, Daegan," she said, snagging her jacket from the arm of the couch and heading out the door. You lying, no-good..." Before her anger carried her away, she stopped and stared at him for a heart-splintering second. Standing abruptly, she let out a little sound of protest and dropped her cup, sloshing coffee. "Good-bye, Daegan," she said, snagging her jacket from the arm of the couch and heading out the door.
"Kate-" If only he could tell her the truth, let her know how he felt, who he really was...
She was already outside, down the steps, plowing through the snow, striding as if she couldn"t get away from him fast enough. Swearing under his breath, he ran to the truck, fired the engine, and took off after her. He caught up with her before she"d reached the end of the lane.
"Get in," he commanded, rolling down the window. Her face was red, her jaw set, snow collecting in her hair.
"Go to h.e.l.l."
"Kate, please-"
"Just leave, Daegan," she said, reaching the county road and turning into her own lane. "That"s what you"re going to do anyway."
He couldn"t fault her logic. "Get into the truck."
She whirled on him then, fury masking her features. "And you get the h.e.l.l off my land." Again she strode away from him, her fists knotted in anger, her breath fogging furiously in the air.
She turned again, walking briskly, but he followed her, and when she reached the house, he climbed out of the pickup and barged up the front steps. She tried to bar the door, but he forced his way past her. Knowing he should let her hate him, he stood in the living room of her cozy little house.
"What do you want?" she demanded. "Another romp in the snow?"
The barb stung. "I just want you to know that I didn"t lie about anything I said or did up on the ridge."
She made a sound of deprecation and walked into the kitchen. "I don"t know why you"re here."
"Neither do I." She turned then and he held out his hands. "I should just let it go, Kate. The best thing for both of us is for me to walk out the door, but I don"t want to leave until you understand that, despite everything, I love you and I will always love you."
Closing her eyes as if to shield herself, she reached for the telephone answering machine and pushed the PLAY PLAY b.u.t.ton. "Don"t do this, Daegan. Don"t tease. Just leave. Now." b.u.t.ton. "Don"t do this, Daegan. Don"t tease. Just leave. Now."
"I will. But just know that I care, Kate. I care a h.e.l.luva lot."
Tears ran down her cheeks and she brushed them quickly away. "Okay, you"ve made me cry. Is that what you want?"
"No."
"Mrs. Summers," a male voice said and her eyes flew open. "Don McPherson at the school-"
"Oh, no," she whispered, shaking her head. "Not now, not again."
"We"re calling all our absentees who don"t have pre-arranged excuses or who haven"t called into the attendance secretary. We a.s.sume you"re aware that Jon is on the list."
Neils VanHorn had never slept with his silent partner, though he"d spent more than one night in bed with other women picturing the perfect, aquiline contours of her face. Fantasies of her long legs wrapped around his torso, her bloodred manicured nails digging into his back, were the one thing that kept him on her payroll, despite the dangers of being caught.
Now, as he pumped quarters into the pay phone at a truck stop on some G.o.dforsaken stretch of Idaho highway, he had to admit that she frightened him more than a little. Just like the kid locked in the van, working to slide the cuffs off when he thought Neils wasn"t looking. The kid had such a hollow look in his eyes, like a G.o.dd.a.m.ned zombie. Neils must have scared the p.i.s.s out of him when he pulled that gun. Grimacing, Neils shot a look at the van across the parking lot. He had played a part in some half-baked investigations before, but kidnapping was a first for him, and it was all a worry. Maybe he should have insisted that Robert pay him more up front. Maybe he should forget about trying to get the woman into bed and just deliver the kid to the old man.
But then her sultry voice came on the line and Neils"s manhood sprung to attention. Just at the sound of her voice. d.a.m.n, he had it bad.
"You"ve got the boy," she said, the excitement in her voice making him go harder.
"That"s right."
"Where is he?"
"Safe," Neils replied, enjoying verbally sparring with her. "You know I can"t tell you where he is until we strike a deal. But I"m bringing him your way. Robert wants to see him."
"Bad idea. I don"t want him here. And I thought we agreed that I"d pay you twice what Robert offered."
"I know, I know," Neils admitted, raking his hair back with one hand. Over the phone he could hear soft music-a symphony or something-playing behind her. Cla.s.sy lady. "But it depends on what you want me to do."
"A deal is a deal."
"Is it? I don"t think so. Otherwise I wouldn"t be double-crossing your uncle now."
Although she was thousands of miles away, he could feel her contempt over the phone line. How he"d love to play with her, whip her into an angry frenzy, then wrestle her to the floor, pinning her beneath him.
"If you don"t go through with your end of the bargain," she said in measured beats, "I"ll go to Robert and tell him you tried to up the ante by dealing with me."
He imagined her in schoolmarm gla.s.ses, threatening to whip him with a yard-long pointer. Yeah, baby. Whip me hard. Yeah, baby. Whip me hard.
"I don"t think so," he said, enjoying the fantasies, loving the fact that he had the upper hand.
"I told you I"d pay double for finding the boy," she growled. "But I"ll add a bonus, Neils. I"ll pay you twice that if you get rid of him for me."
Neils froze. He didn"t like the turn in the conversation. Sure, the kid gave him the creeps, but he didn"t want anything really bad to happen to the boy. h.e.l.l, that"d be murder. Not his thing. Christ, wasn"t kidnapping bad enough?
She sighed. "Ah, Neils, so naive." He couldn"t tell if she was amused or mocking him until she went on. "Don"t be an idiot. Do you really expect me to pay top dollar for you to let that b.a.s.t.a.r.d free? Just do yourself and me a favor and kill him." Her voice oozed with impatience, malice, and blood l.u.s.t. "Kill him now."
Chapter 22.
Kate stared at the clock. Three-thirty and still no word from Jon. She"d called the sheriff, but Swanson wasn"t interested. Not until Jon had been missing for twenty-four hours. The police in town were no more anxious to help her. The school hadn"t seen him. Daegan had gone out searching for Jon but hadn"t found hide nor hair of the boy.
She drummed her fingers on the counter and thought she"d go mad with worry. Outside the snow continued to fall, and as night was approaching, she could only wonder where he was, with whom, doing what? She"d called all his friends once they were home from school, but no one had seen him all day. Daegan had even driven over to the Neider place, but no one was home.
"He"ll be all right," Daegan said, standing at the window and staring toward the end of the lane.
Kate had wanted to throw him out, to tell the liar to just leave and let her worry about her boy. But the lines of strain on his face, the way he"d called his travel agent and changed his flight, convinced her that he cared, if only a little. And she liked having him around, d.a.m.n it, even if she did feel a little like a weak woman who was finding her strength from his.
He"d made coffee for her, built a fire, taken Roscoe and Houndog and searched the places where he"d expected a boy to hole up. And now they waited.
The phone rang and she nearly jumped out of her skin. Dashing to the kitchen, she picked up the receiver before the second ring.
"h.e.l.lo?" she said and met Daegan"s dark gaze. Though he was still in the living room, she could see the worry in his eyes.
"Kate?" Laura"s voice sang over the wires. "Are you all right? You sound breathless."
"It"s Jon. He"s missing." She shook her head at Daegan, silently communicating that there was no news about her boy. "I-I can"t tie up the phone too long in case he calls." Quickly she told her sister what had been going on, only holding back on her involvement with Daegan. To think that while Jon was missing, she was making love in the snow to Daegan...
When she was finished, there was a weighty pause on the other end of the line. "Maybe this isn"t a good time for me to give you my news," she said.
"What news?"
"About Daegan O"Rourke."
Kate"s gaze flew to the living room, where Daegan was standing glaring out at the dark sky. Her heart pounded with dread. Not now, oh, please not now! Not now, oh, please not now! "Tell me," she said, her insides already beginning to shred. "Tell me," she said, her insides already beginning to shred.
"Okay, but it"s not pretty. It turns out that the Daegan O"Rourke from Montana did grow up in Boston, the son of Mary Ellen O"Rourke and Frank Sullivan. Mary Ellen was Frank"s mistress and he, being already married, didn"t divorce his wife. Instead he kept Mary Ellen as his mistress in a small apartment over some dive of a tavern."
Kate"s heart twisted for the little boy Daegan had been, but fear curled in her heart. Who was this man? What did he want? Was he the criminal-Jon"s natural father?
"Anyway, Frank Sullivan"s a real bad egg, the worst. Treated Daegan like he didn"t exist."
"You found all this out through records?" Oh, G.o.d, now what? She loved Daegan, trusted him, believed in him. Oh, G.o.d, now what? She loved Daegan, trusted him, believed in him. A part of her began to wither as quickly as a flower in the desert. A part of her began to wither as quickly as a flower in the desert.
"Nah, I dug around a little bit on my free time. I have a friend who"s a PI who used to work for the police department as a detective. She did some snooping and this is what we came up with."
Kate swallowed back her dread and listened.
"Anyway this kid-Daegan O"Rourke-was really messed up and tried to shoot his old man once, but the shot went wild and the Sullivans managed to sweep it all under the rug-nothing in the papers, no charges filed."
"None?"
"That"s right. A while later the legitimate Sullivan offspring got together with their b.a.s.t.a.r.d cousin and the fireworks really started."
Kate leaned against the cupboard for support. Her palms were sweating, her mind racing with images of Daegan teaching Jon to ride a horse, showing him how to box, lying above her ready to make love in the middle of a snowstorm.
As if sensing something was wrong, Daegan gave up his post and walked to the kitchen. He was reaching for the coffeepot when his hand stopped in midair, and as if by silent communication, he divined the tenor of her conversation.
Laura continued blithely on, unaware that Kate held Daegan"s stare and noiseless messages were being pa.s.sed. "O"Rourke and his cousin Stuart got into a huge fight, though no one apparently knows or remembers why. Knives and a crowbar were involved, and Stuart, the heir apparent to the Sullivan fortune, ended up dying on the docks before the police, whom O"Rourke had called, showed up."
Kate"s blood turned to ice water and she hardly was able to look at the man she"d so recently given her body.