FARIS LED THE way and we raced after him. I still carried the speed his bite had given me, so I picked Pamela up and carried her on my back.
aJack, we have to get Jack!a aThere is no time,a Faris shouted back.
I didnat argue with him, just turned when I hit the intersection and ran to Jackas door. I threw the bolt open. aPamela, lift him up.a She tried to gather him up, her voice frantic. aI canat. Itas like somethingas blocking me!a Faris slid to a stop beside us and took Pamela from my back; she let out a squeak until he placed her on his back. aTry now.a Jack rose from the bed, lifted easily now that my Immunity wasnat messing around with Pamelaas spell. The old Tracker never twitched, never even opened his eyes. I couldnat decide if this was good or not.
We bolted back to the intersection as the other hallways spit out vampire after vampire. There was no way we could fight them all.
aRun!a OaShea and I ran side by side, following Faris as he wove his way through the maze of hallways and intersections. Pamela clung to his back, but her eyes never left me. I didnat blame her for being worried.
We burst through a doorway that led into the Palace proper. How could I tell? The night sky beckoned to us through the barred windows. We were in the armory.
aWe have to make a stand here. If we kill enough of them, they will pull back,a Faris said, letting Pamela slide from his back.
aWhy are you doing this?a Pamela asked him the very question that had been floating around in the back of my head.
aI was bound to my lieges, as all vampires are. They made me do things Iam not proud of. I fought where I could, but I was still forced to do much that they wanted.a I rocked back on my heels. aAnd then you bit me.a He shook his head. aNo, I bit another Tracker.a His eyes lingered on me for a moment before sliding back to the door wead come from. aTheyare coming. If you are going to grab a weapon, do it now.a Cases of old school weapons beckoned to me, swords, spears, s.h.i.+elds and lances. All just tucked behind a thin sheet of gla.s.s.
The closest case held long-handled lances with wicked curved blades on the end. I smashed my elbow into the gla.s.s, the sound of an alarm went off as I reached in and grabbed the lance I had my eye on.
aPamela, take Jack over there and lay him on the floor. You stand back, hit them where you can,a I said, pointing to the far side of the room. She ran to do as I said, putting her back to the wall, placing Jack in the corner furthest away from what was about to happen. I didnat know what to expect. Would the entire nest of vampires come after us? The door would work as a bottleneck, helping us and hurting them, surely they wouldnat be so stupid as to send everyone after us.
Would they?
I faced the doorway; the sound of my own blood pumping through my veins echoed in my ears, dulled the thump of the running footsteps.
The vampires and their pets erupted out of the doorway in a flash of skin and fangs. Faris grabbed the first one, slamming him into the floor, the vampireas head bursting like a melon. The next vampire or pet, I wasnat sure which, came for me. I spun in a circle, swinging upward with the lance, burying it deep into the creatureas throat, removing his head from his shoulders with the single blow. Much as I hated to admit it, even to myself, the bite Faris invoked on me was a freaking G.o.dsend, giving me both speed and an increase in strength.
OaShea was already on his second vampire, the sound of his teeth snapping through bone accompanied only by the scream of the vamp at his mercy. A woman leapt at me, but froze in mid-air, her face a comical twist of consternation. Then she burst into flames, the fire swallowing her in a single flash of heat and leaving behind nothing but a faint dusting of ash floating down.
aGood catch, witch.a I didnat dare give Pamela a smile, settling for a thumbs up over my shoulder. The three vamps left facing us slowly withdrew. OaShea shook the one he held in his mouth, a rag doll of bones and skin, then threw it at the retreating vamps.
I opened my mouth, the desire to taunt them, to finish them off, something I couldnat stop. Faris moved to my side and slapped his hand over my mouth. aTime to go, Tracker.a I pushed his hand off me and dropped the lance. The weapon wasnat mine, and if I continued to carry it, I would likely use it on Faris. And while he was a real piece of s.h.i.+t, I wasnat sure everything that had happened really was all his fault.
Even if I wanted to blame him.
Bypa.s.sing the security guardsa"who were no doubt coming to check on the alarm Iad set offa"the four of us, Jack floating along beside us, worked our way up to the roof where, true to his word, Blaz waited. When he saw Faris, his head snaked forward, and he pinned the vampire to the roof top with a single foot.
Why is this vampire here? More than that, why is there a connection between the two of you?
aHe invoked a bite so I could kill the Child Empress.a And did you?
aNo. I didnat. Let him up, Blaz. For now, heas with us.a f.u.c.k, Jack was going to kill me when he woke up. If he woke up. I glanced over at him, took in his skin tone, the uneven rise and fall of his chest. Everything was spinning out of control. This place, it had torn up my life more than I ever could have thought.
I was going to lose Jack too. Tears stung the backs of my eyes.
The old Tracker is sleeping deep, but he isnat dying. Not yet, anyway.
I helped Pamela up onto Blazas back; she lifted and secured Jack into place and OaShea leapt up, wedging himself once more between the spurs of Blazas back. I climbed up, exhaustion sweeping over me. Faris didnat mount up; instead, he did one of his s.h.i.+fts, cutting through the Veil. I had no doubt that he would beat us back to London.
aLetas go.a I tapped Blazas back, rapping my knuckles against his scales.
The dragon leapt from the roof of the palace and swept out across the sea. I looked over my shoulder, at the city lit up in the darkness. Berget a G.o.ds be d.a.m.ned, how could this be happening?
For once, Blaz didnat respond to my unspoken questions. He left me alone, which was what I wanted.
We flew to where Eve and Alex waited. The Harpy rose in the air when we drew close. She was trying to speak to me, but I ignored her. Alex barked and yipped, waving frantically at us.
I couldnat deal with anyone elseas issues right then. f.u.c.k, I couldnat deal with my own, what the h.e.l.l made me think I would be able to help anyone else?
I was numb, my heart and mind tangled up, confused and shocked at everything that had happened. Had it happened? Maybe it was like some sort of waking dream, a nightmare sent to steal my sanity and break what was left of my heart. I clung to Blazas back and closed my eyes, but didnat sleep.
Blaz kept silent through the flight, Pamela fell asleep at some point, and as the sun rose behind us, London came into sight.
I will drop you at Jackas home. I see it in your head as the place you wish to go.
aThanks,a I whispered, my voice carried away by the wind rus.h.i.+ng around us.
Blaz circled low, landing out by the pond where the Beast had nearly taken me. So much had happened between then and now, it seemed a preference to have the Beast on my a.s.s than the truths I tried to deal with now. Or not deal with, as the case was.
Everyone dismounted. I sent Pamela into the house with Jack. Eve landed and Alex bounded over to me, grabbing me around the legs.
aRylee, Rylee, Rylee. Safe now?a I scrubbed my hands over his head, scratching behind his ears. aYeah, weare safe now.a aYippity!a He yelped, flipping over backward and racing toward the house after Pamela. The distant sound of Pamela rebuking him for running into her drifted back to us.
aThanks, Blaz. You know how to find me when you want to cash in your favor,a I said, feeling strangely formal. But maybe it was just easier than breaking down in front of him, because at that moment it was all I wanted to do.
I couldnat keep doing this by myself. Who did I have to help me, to turn to when I couldnat keep it together anymore? OaShea b.u.mped his head into my hand and I closed my eyes. The truth hurt more than anything else. OaShea like this was better than not at all, but it wasnat enough. My thoughts drifted to Will. No, I couldnat do that, didnat have it in me to be disloyal to OaShea with him here beside me. Even if he was trapped as a wolf.
I needed someone who could stand with me, I needed a partner. Not the lost children who were drawn to me, but an actual partner.
Do not be afraid to cry, Rylee. You must let this out. It will eat you up from the inside, hollowing you until there is nothing left. Until you are good for no one.
aShut the f.u.c.k up, Blaz!a I spun on my heel, let the anger fuel me. That emotion was far more familiar, far easier to deal with than the emotional overload that seemed determined to grab me in its clutches.
Blaz snorted, then launched into the air, winging back toward his lair.
Goodbye, Tracker.
aGoodbye, Blaz.a Eve hopped over to me. aRylee, are we staying here?a aI donat know.a I brushed past her, heading toward the house. aGo rest, Eve. Please.a aRylee, whatas wrong?a aEve, not now.a G.o.ds, it was taking everything I had not to snap at her as I had at Blaz.
But unlike Blaz, Eve listened. Walking alongside me, she was a silent support. We reached the main doors and she hopped into the air to go and roost on the roof.
I paused, feeling like an a.s.s. OaShea was right there beside me. I put a hand on his head. Maybe things wouldnat be so bad. I pushed the door open and we headed toward the library, where I thought I could be alone for a minute or two. I just needed to deal with what had happened. Deal with it, and then I could move on.
Right.
Of course, Iad forgotten a few minor details.
Like the fact that Doran was here. OaShea and I stepped into the library to see the Shaman standing with his back to the open window, the red curtains swirling out and around him. Which, in and of itself, wouldnat have been too bad except that Faris choose that moment to show up, cutting through the Veil as we walked in.
He saw Doran and, without a word, lunged toward him.
Pamela and Alex ran in, no doubt hearing all the excitement, and Alex promptly threw up on the rug. She lifted her hands to prep a spell and the two bloodsuckers careened around the room, sending books and furniture flying.
Yeah, all in the s.p.a.ce of about three minutes.
I couldnat do this anymore. I turned my back on them, left the room. If they wanted to kill each other, so be it.
Doran screamed for me. aRylee, heas going to kill me!a I stood outside the door just feeling a done. Then I looked down at OaShea, who was still at my side. Doran was the one person who might be able to help me bring OaShea, the man, back. I steeled myself one last time, then turned and headed back into the library to see Faris holding Doran against the wall.
aFaris. I need Doran.a aHe is a pet of hers.a aHeas not, he took blood from me. Before I left.a G.o.ds, could nothing be simple anymore. aPlay nice boys or Iall kill you both.a The Daywalker and the vampire stared at me, like they werenat sure I was being serious. Alex was cringing in the corner, making sure not to look at the puddle of vomit head left on the floor. Pamela stood there, her eyes on me. Waiting for a signal.
aDoran, come take a look at OaShea. And you better f.u.c.king well tell me you can bring him back or maybe Iall let Faris do what he wants with you.a Faris let Doran down and the Daywalker made his way over to me, his green eyes shadowed. aYou donat seem yourself.a aJust look at OaShea.a I pointed at the wolf at my side, in case he hadnat noticed the ma.s.sive black wolf with the silvery gold eyes.
Doran ran a hand over the area above OaSheaas head, but never touched him. aHeas becoming a Guardian.a His eyes flicked up to mine. aBut you knew that, didnat you?a aYes.a A few minutes of this air touching and I was about ready to shake the Daywalker until his fangs fell out.
aIam not sure. I think maybe, but I canat tell. He has to want to come back, I think,a Doran said, still staring at OaShea.
aWhat do you mean he has to want to?a aThere are two parts of him, and the man in him is buried deep. If he doesnat want to come back badly enough, the wolf will be all thatas left.a Every muscle in my chest tightened with a fear that Iad been holding at bay all this time. aHow long?a Doran shrugged. aA week at most. Maybe less.a I closed my eyes, feeling the loss for what it was. Iad had OaShea with me for days now. Why hadnat he wanted to come back when he was right with me?
Maybe he didnat want to come back to me. Maybe he was happier as a wolf.
Faris snorted. aHe canat be brought back. Heas been too long in wolf form. When the collar came off it was a matter of seconds before he glazed over. The backlash is too much for him.a I went very still. aYou were there, when the collar was taken off?a OaShea growled and inched toward Faris.
aWait.a I held up my hand. aAre you telling me you took off the collar, knowing what would happen?a Faris smiled at me, and for a second, I thought maybe Iad been wrong. That had been Millyas doing, that she had taken the collar off.
aYes, I took it off him. You are not for the wolf, Rylee. You will belong to me. I must bind you to me if I am to take the throne from Berget. There is no other way and I wonat have a wolfa"a aDonat you f.u.c.king well use her name in front of me!a G.o.ds help me, Faris, how could I have ever trusted him? Even for a second? Head lied to me time and time again. He wasnat in this for anyone but himself. That much was apparent.
aGet the f.u.c.k out of here, vampire. The next time I see you, I will kill you.a Faris was on me in a flash, our bodies slamming into the far wall with a thud that knocked books from the shelves. I tipped my head sideways, an invitation for him that he couldnat resist. It would blind him to what I was going to do to him.
His fangs drove into my neck, his desire for my blood making him stupid. I held out my hand. Doran tossed me a silver letter opener from the side table. I caught it and drove it deep into Farisa neck.
He yanked back from me, his teeth tearing a ragged wound across my neck. I jerked the silver letter opener out and jammed it in again. Faris stumbled back from me and OaShea placed himself between us.
aDo we understand each other?a I asked, my voice even and calm.
He snarled at me, coughed on a mouthful of blood. aYou donat understand, and Iam b.l.o.o.d.y well done trying to explain. I wonat be there to pull your a.s.s out of the fire again, Tracker.a af.u.c.k you too.a I tossed the letter opener back to Doran, who wiped it off on his pants and set if back on the side table.
Faris turned, stepped sideways and jumped the Veil. I watched him closely, could almost see how he did it this time. If only I could pull that trick a not that it would get us all home.
Doran approached me, lifting his hand to my neck. aYou need to get this st.i.tched. Itas going to be quite a scar when it heals, even with my st.i.tches.a Jack stepped into the room, surprising me. He tottered toward us and I wondered if how head been looking in the dungeons had been an act. Head certainly perked back up quickly.
aIall get the thread and needle, you stay here.a The old Tracker said as he left the room before head ever really come in.
Doran cleared his throat. aWhy did you let him bite you? You know it only deepens the chance he will be able to bind you to him.a aBecause he is no different than anyone else. Everyone wants something from me, and with Faris, itas my blood. It makes him weak.a I lifted my eyes to Doranas, let him see a side of me I didnat share easily. I was so done. The shattering truths that had been exposed to me had knocked the stuffing out of me more than any knock-down, drag-out fight could have.
Jack was right, Iad not really given much credence to what head said before Iad left to find OaShea. Everyone wanted something from me, and I was f.u.c.king tired of it.
So f.u.c.king tired.
Jack came back with the needle and thread, and Doran st.i.tched me up. But again the emptiness swallowed me up and their voices seemed far away, distant and out of focus.
I interacted with them on the surface. I could see they were worried, that they all knew something was wrong with me. But I couldnat explain it and didnat want to try.
Days pa.s.sed and the darkness that lay heavy on me dug in deeper and deeper. I existed, I ate, and I didnat sleep. I spoke with the others, but something was deeply wrong, like when the h.o.a.rfrost demonas poison had stolen my ability to function. This was the same, only worse, because I knew there was nothing I could do to fix it. The darkness and hurt, grief and pain were a part of me.
Pamela tried to get me to help work with her, Alex tried to get me to play tag, and Eve offered to fly me along the coast.
Only OaShea didnat ask anything of me. His eyes seemed to have stopped s.h.i.+fting and were a pale gold, so pale that in certain lights they did look silver.
Deanna came over, tried to help OaShea, but like Doran, there was nothing she could do.
Four days had pa.s.sed, four days of waiting and not knowing what to do next. Waiting for Doran to say all of OaShea was gone.
I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Alex lay on the floor beside me, his head resting on the edge of the bed. His eyes were sad and every once in a while, head let out a whimper, reach out and touch me with the tip of his claw.
OaShea lay beside me on the bed, his nose buried in the crook of my neck. I wanted things I couldnat have, comfort that apparently I wasnat allowed.
I threw my arm over my eyes, hating the way my eyes burned with unshed tears. Hated the weakness in me.
Someone knocked on the door, and then slowly opened it.
aRylee, I know I told you to let her go. But maybe I was wrong. You need someone who knows you better than you know yourself right now a and I donat f.u.c.king well know you that well. Track her, maybe she can help you where none of us can.a The door clicked shut, and Jack left me alone with my boys.
My heart clenched and the tears Iad been holding back threatened to break the d.a.m.n. I blew out a sharp breath, sniffed back the tears, and Tracked Giselle. I couldnat feel her bodya"there, way far to the west at home in North Dakotaa"but I knew it was there.
But that wasnat what I wanted. I needed the woman who I would always think of not only as my mentor, but as the mother Iad needed, the woman who trained me, and taught me to stand for myself. She knew me, knew my heart, knew my strengths and my weaknesses. I wasnat sure there was anyone who knew me better. I reached for her, Tracking her spirit, or at least trying to. Maybe she was gone, truly gone, and I couldnat reach her. Or maybe like OaShea, she just didnat want to be with me.
That was it. I couldnat hold it back anymore. The tears that Iad held at bay for so long, I couldnat stop them. Curling onto my side, away from OaShea, I sobbed into my pillow. One person could only be asked to take so much pain and I was done.
I was just f.u.c.king well done.
His mate needed him. Her body shook with grief and sadness that welled out of her like a spring. Like it would never stop. The half creature stood and nosed her. She pushed him away, gently, but away.
The half creature frowned, a tear slipping from his eye. He was hurting for her too. The wolf hopped off the bed and nosed the half creature, directing him to the door. Sniffling, tears streaking down his furred face, he reluctantly opened the door and then closed it behind him.
The wolf went back to her, his mate, and jammed his nose into her face, licking her tears away. She tried to push him away too, but he persisted, forcing her to acknowledge him.
Her arms finally slipped around his neck.
aLiam, I need you, please a please donat leave me here alone.a Her words were broken with her pain, broken with her fears.
A sharp stab ripped up through his guts and a memory of what he had been floated to the surface. A man. Head been a man. That was what she needed. The wolf whined and backed away.
She needed him to be both. The wolf to protect her body. The man to protect her heart and her soul.
He shook his head, whined again. But that would mean going back, that would mean giving up his freedom. It would mean trusting the man in him to be strong enough a .