Casey did it again, and again, and again, reducing Evan to incoherent babble, his head lol ing against the pil ows as he f.u.c.ked back on Casey"s fingers. Casey was near delirious with the effort of keeping himself in check and not embarra.s.sing himself a second time, but d.a.m.n, the syncing of Evan"s pleasure with his own was almost too much to handle.
"Casey, please, just do it," Evan begged, biting his shoulder as he fought to keep himself grounded. "I"m ready, Christ, just do it -- do it, please --"
Casey nodded, leaning up to press a hot, wet kiss over Evan"s heart. "Yeah, okay. Anything. Anything you want." He swiftly pul ed out and used both palms to spread Evan"s a.s.s cheeks as he pul ed him closer. Evan"s good leg wrapped around Casey"s waist and impatiently yanked him forward.
"Do it," Evan groaned. "Do it, Casey, do it, please, I can"t -- I want..."
Casey shushed him with a kiss, using one of his fingers to slowly probe at Evan"s hole, brushing against the head of his own c.o.c.k in the process, electric jolts running down his back. "Yes, come on, yes." Evan pleaded.
Casey kissed his throat, then up to his cheek and his lush lips, slowly spreading Evan open, just enough for his c.o.c.k to slide in alongside his fingers. They both moaned, Casey"s head tossed back, his eyes at half mast as he tried to focus on Evan"s beautiful, sweaty face.
G.o.d, he"d give anything to have Evan see himself as Casey saw him now. It was hard. Evan"s beautiful, unseeing eyes swam with a mixture of suppressed emotions before they fluttered closed, a quiet breath flowing from his parted lips.
Casey nuzzled the side of Evan"s neck, open, honest, raw, sinking into Evan like he belonged. Like they belonged.
I love you. Casey swal owed back the words, but the sudden acceleration of Evan"s heartbeat and the way he clung to his back made him wonder...
"Don"t, not now," Evan whispered, his voice broken open.
But I do, Casey thought again, kissing Evan"s parted lips. I love you. I loved you before I met you I love you. I loved you before I met you.
Evan"s breath hitched and he bit his lower lip, shuddering, his hands scrabbling for purchase on Casey"s corded back. "G.o.d," he choked out. "Casey..."
Casey kissed the corner of Evan"s lips, slowly pul ing back, until only the head of his c.o.c.k was spreading Evan open, his fingertips fondling the stretched red skin.
Casey"s lips brushed close against Evan"s ear, then down his neck as he pul ed his fingers out and let his c.o.c.k slide al the way in, fil ing Evan up to the core.
A shudder ran through Evan"s body, his shoulders tensing for a split second before going liquid again in Casey"s arms. Casey used his superior height and body strength to pul the both of them up, arranging them with care, until Evan was seated across his lap, straddling his thighs, his broken leg in no danger of being crushed.
Evan moaned, long and drawn out; the huge length inside of him was splitting him in two, but any worry Casey might have had were wiped away in the face of Evan"s blissed out expression.
Casey"s fingers curled under Evan"s a.s.s, squeezing the warm, tight muscle as Evan began to raise himself up before dropping down again. They got into a rhythm, and as Evan"s thighs raised him up off Casey"s c.o.c.k, Casey spread Evan"s a.s.s cheeks. As he slammed back down again, Casey squeezed his hands, feeling the bursts of pleasure sizzle up his own spine as though he and Evan were the same person. And in that moment, their bodies joined together, Casey knew no one could tel where one ended and the other began.
Evan kept his balance on Casey"s wide shoulders, his head thrown back, sweat pooling in the hol ow of his throat. "Wil never leave," Casey whispered, because that, he knew he could promise. His breath got cut off abruptly as Evan sank down on him again and he bit his own lip b.l.o.o.d.y to keep in a scream. "Never."
Evan shivered. He parted his mouth as though he wanted to say something, but Casey"s hands spread him even wider, rocking up inside of him, and al that left Evan"s lips was a startled cry, body spasming around Casey.
"G.o.d," Evan breathed, pul ing his lower lip between his teeth. "G.o.d, do it again."
Casey complied, rocking up against Evan"s prostate as they sped up their rhythm. Casey"s hands skimmed down Evan"s thighs before going back up again, as though he had no idea what to do with al that glorious skin.
"Again," Evan begged, his back arched perfectly as he rocked back on Casey"s d.i.c.k, wanton and blissful. "Again, oh G.o.d, Casey, yeah, yes, like this --"
Casey gasped, his breath leaving him in a rush as Evan stuttered his hips in counterpoint with Casey"s own.
Casey instinctively raised his knees, propping Evan up, letting him lean against them as he snapped forward.
Evan screamed, a long, prolonged keen that Casey was sure could be heard thorough the c.r.a.ppy four story, and the mere thought had heat curl up at the base of Casey"s spine. Casey"s mouth found one of Evan"s nipples and he bit down on it lightly, keeping Evan"s a.s.s cheeks spread wide as he thrust up into him.
"Never," Casey breathed again.
"Please," Evan whispered, strung out and dazed, burying his face in the crook of Casey"s neck and shoulder.
Casey grit his teeth and tangled his hand in Evan"s short hair, his breath coming shorter and faster as his o.r.g.a.s.m built up at the base of his spine. He grasped a hold of Evan"s c.o.c.k, not wanting to come alone, and Evan mewled as he writhed on Casey"s d.i.c.k, his whole body jerking with each twist of Casey"s wrist.
"Come with me," Casey pleaded, branding his words against Evan"s skin. "Come on, Evan, so close, Evan, please --"
Evan cried out, biting into the hard curve of Casey"s shoulder as his whole body went rigid, clamping down like a vise on Casey"s c.o.c.k as he came, white spurts of come painting his mark on Casey"s stomach and chest. That was al it took for Casey to tumble over the edge -- just watching the blissful abandon of Evan"s body as his o.r.g.a.s.m hit, the tremors in his muscles racking up as he tightened around Casey, pul ing his release out of him so fast and hard, everything blacked out. There was only Evan, his harsh breathing, the heavy weight of his chest against Casey"s, and the feeling of completion that overwhelmed them.
Casey pul ed out, gently, tied up the condom and tossed it away before he guided the both of them sideways on the sheets, arranging Evan"s broken leg against a pil ow as he pushed the comforter back and off the mattress before lying down next to him. Evan"s hair tickled as he reached up to brush their lips together but ended up kissing the side of his throat. Casey smiled and took Evan"s hand, pul ing him closer.
Casey knew they should probably get themselves cleaned up. He could feel come drying on his fingers and on his bel y, and after last night, he knew letting it dry completely only brought waves of unpleasantness in its wake. Stil , he couldn"t begin to move.
He held Evan in his arms, his heartbeat a steady drum against his chest, and nothing else real y mattered.
Chapter 7.
When Evan woke up next, he had no idea what time it was, what hour of the day, or even if it was the same day he"d gone to bed. He felt around the mattress, and his heart tumbled in his chest when he found a warm body not inches from his own.
"Morning." Casey"s voice was raspy low, completely f.u.c.ked out.
Evan"s flush heated him up from inside out, and he tentatively rol ed on one side, hoping to be facing Casey.
"What time is it?"
"Five thirty in the afternoon." Casey"s fingers slowly cupped the side of Evan"s face. "I was gonna wake you up in a minute."
Evan"s hair stood on end, and he marveled again at how quickly Casey picked up on the smal est sign of distress, because the next thing Casey was saying was, "I"m not going anywhere, but I"m starving. I thought I could take you out to dinner, do this properly at least."
Evan could feel his blush intensify. "I"m not -- I don"t do dates."
Casey laughed. "Neither do I."
"Then, am I missing something?"
"Thought we could give it a shot together," Casey said, his voice low and hesitant. "If you stil feel like trying."
Evan felt like one of those horrible people who abandoned puppies in summer. He didn"t regret spil ing his guts to Casey, but he wasn"t ready to commit himself to anything.
"I know that," Casey said again, and Evan startled.
"I didn"t say anything."
Another quiet chuckle. "Yeah, wel . This is the part I wanted to talk to you about over dinner."
"You"re married."
"What? No!" The bed bounced slightly, and Evan wished he could imagine Casey flailing around and blushing at the accusation. "No. But uh, some things aren"t easy to digest and wel ... this is going to sound a bit crazy.
Or a lot crazy. And plus, I"m real y, real y hungry, and Sadie got into al the m.u.f.fins --"
"You"re babbling." Evan chuckled and felt around for Casey"s hand, squeezing it once. "Hey. Calm down. Just tel me, okay? I can take it... whatever it is."
A long moment of silence. Then Casey heaved a sigh. "I"m what you would cal a psychic. I mean, I can"t... I can"t see the future or s.h.i.t like that. But uh, I have... like...
perceptions."
"Like Whoopi Goldberg?"
Casey groaned. "I"m being serious!"
Evan couldn"t help but laugh a little. "Sorry. Sorry, okay. That was bad of me. I"m listening."
"I mean it. I can... I can feel people, sometimes. And with you... it"s the strongest I"ve ever felt anyone"s feelings before. It"s like you"re already inside of me. That"s why -- or how, real y -- I found you yesterday afternoon."
Evan thought he should be more resistant to the idea. He didn"t real y believe in that kind of hocus pocus, but then again... "Makes sense," he said, shrugging a little.
"It was you then, wasn"t it? I mean, I wasn"t hearing voices."
"Was me -- what?"
f.u.c.k. Okay, that wasn"t how he"d planned it to go, either. Evan blushed. "Saying... uh... those things. Thinking those things? I don"t know. But I thought I heard -- never mind."
"That I love you?"
Evan"s heart stuttered, and his mouth went paper dry. "Something like that."
Silence again. "I never heard of it working the other way around, but you"re a first in many ways." Casey took Evan"s other hand and brought them together, holding them as though in prayer. "Don"t freak out. Please? I wil ... try and stop thinking it if it makes you uncomfortable. I can wait, I"m not... I mean, it"s not like I"ve got the best track record, or any track record at al in relationships, so... I"l give you time, and s.p.a.ce, and anything you ask me for, just... can we try?"
Evan thought about it, his mind and heart warring with each other once more, like they hadn"t in years of random hook ups and meaningless routine, with only Sadie to care for. He swal owed against a thickness in his throat that he didn"t quite know how to explain, and nodded. "Just -- slow, okay?" He leaned in against the side of Casey"s face, seeking out his lips. "I"m not good at this either."
"We can learn together." Casey sealed his promise with a kiss, his fingers entwined with Evan"s, and for the first time in over seven years, Evan could see a bright light ahead.
The magic of the moment broke when Evan"s stomach gurgled, loudly, and Casey laughed again, that tinkering laugh that made Evan"s stomach swoop. "I"m ordering Chinese," he said, in a no-bul s.h.i.t voice. "And then I can go pick Sadie up from your cleaning lady and she can have the chow mein."
"Why would you order Chinese if you don"t like the chow mein?"
"I like the rest!"
Evan shook his head with a chuckle. There were lots of things he would have to learn al over again -- things he"d grown unaccustomed to, things that had left him with a big gaping hole in his heart -- but right now, for the first time, he almost thought he"d missed. The quiet noises of Casey mil ing about his apartment, cal ing for Chinese, cooing at Sadie as he fil ed her water bowl, made Evan smile in a way he hadn"t remembered he could.
"Done, and done." Casey grinned, his voice much stronger now as he came to a stop in the doorway.
"You"re awesome," Evan teased as he shifted a little on the bed. He was stil completely naked, and the soft ache in his legs and lower back made his heart skip a beat.
"Come here?" he asked, waving his hand a little and hoping Casey would get the message.
Casey padded, barefooted, toward the bed, and Evan felt the mattress dip as Casey climbed in next to him.
"Hey," Casey whispered, his fingertips caressing Evan"s cheek.
Evan took his hand and squeezed it, leaning into the touch. "Hey."
He leaned closer, their noses b.u.mping together as he tried to align himself to kiss Casey. They both laughed, low and intimate, and Casey framed the side of Evan"s face, kissing him deeply.
"You"re something else," Evan muttered as he parted his lips, al owing Casey"s tongue to slip into the warmth of his mouth. He could feel Casey"s blush and the slight hitching of his breath, and Evan wanted nothing more than to pul him down between the sheets again, learning everything about him until he wouldn"t have yearned so deeply for the chance of seeing him.
"Can I ask you something?" Casey kissed the hol ow of his throat, fingertips slowly tracing down the back of Evan"s neck. Evan nodded. "I -- can you... I mean. Uh. I just never thought I"d be -- and then you came along..."
"You"re not making any sense."
Casey"s sigh was frustrated. "Can we... again?"
Evan laughed. "You want to have s.e.x again?"
Casey made a little embarra.s.sed noise, his lips stil hovering close to Evan"s. "Yes. Uh. That. But... I want you in me this time."
Evan"s heart stopped beating, only to start again one second later, faster than ever. No one asked him that.
Ever. Everyone just a.s.sumed that because Evan was blind, he"d be the nel y little bottom. Who would want a blind guy behind the wheel after al ?
"Evan?" Casey muttered, sounding unsure. "We don"t -- we don"t real y have to if you don"t --"
"I want to," Evan finished, nearly breathless. "I want to."
"Oh." Casey"s relief was evident even in that one syl able. He quickly kissed the tip of Evan"s nose, then his lips, then the side of his chin. "Okay. Okay then." He laughed, halfway between excited and embarra.s.sed. "I real y suck at this."
"Trust me," Evan said, his voice shaking with emotion as he pushed Casey down on the bed, his heartbeat drumming in his ears. "You"re doing just fine."
Casey didn"t have the faintest clue what he was supposed to do, but he thought stripping down to nothing was a good first step. When he lay completely naked and hesitant on Evan"s bed, he sort of cleared his throat and shuffled, trying to fight the urge to cover himself up with a pil ow -- which would"ve been ridiculous even if Evan had been sighted. "I"m. Um. I"m ready," he said, pleased that his voice didn"t shake too much.
Evan rol ed next to him, feeling his way up his chest until he could bury his face in the crook of Casey"s neck, kissing his way down the middle of his chest. Casey hesitated, then reached out to run his hand down Evan"s arm, guiding Evan"s fingers toward his half hard c.o.c.k. Evan smiled, his lips stretching as he kissed Casey"s nipple and he closed his fingers firmly around the base of Casey"s d.i.c.k.
Casey felt the now familiar spark in his bel y and shuddered, his mouth pressing hot and wet and open on Evan"s shoulder. He let his legs fal apart on the bed, adjusting his position on the mattress to make more room for Evan to fit in, mindful of Evan"s cast. Casey let his hands trail down on Evan"s back, then up his thighs, spreading them slightly, aligning Evan"s groin with his own. Evan shuddered and moaned against Casey"s chest, hitching his good knee up and rocking his hips over the juncture of Casey"s thigh as his grip on Casey"s d.i.c.k tightened.
"Oh G.o.d. Just like that." Casey held Evan with one arm around the smal of his back, while Evan"s free hand moved up and down the inside of Casey"s thigh, his fingers brushing against Casey"s clenched hole. Casey gasped and mouthed down the curve of Evan"s shoulder to his biceps, his heart drumming in his chest, low and dul as though underwater.
Evan rol ed his hips, his c.o.c.k hardening against the groove of Casey"s hip, his fingers circling Casey"s entrance before shifting back up to trace his bal s. Evan rocked himself slowly back and forth, his fist a loose circle around Casey"s now ful y hard d.i.c.k. He mouthed breathlessly at Casey"s throat, sloppy kisses that didn"t seem to have a specific target in mind.
Casey realized with a jolt that Evan had never done this before, either. The way he moved against Casey, the tentative, exploring touches, it had nothing of the urgent, harsh taking he"d demanded earlier. Casey swal owed around the lump in his throat and reached up to help Evan settle between his open legs, letting their c.o.c.ks rub lazily together as Casey rol ed his hips up to meet Evan"s.
"Do you want me?" Casey asked, kissing him again as though he couldn"t get enough.