He wanted rough, and hard, and f.u.c.k, if Casey wasn"t going to give it to him, Evan would just have to take it. He shuffled on the couch, trying to get rid of his sweats even with a plaster cast that went from his knee to his foot, and when he final y managed, he planted his foot on the side of the coffee table, spreading himself open as wide as he could.
"Do it," He grunted, tugging at Casey"s shoulders. "Now."
"Evan, I --"
Another kiss of silence. Evan wasn"t going to beg, for Christ"s sake, but if Casey didn"t do something, and soon, he"d just f.u.c.king implode. "Come on." he whispered, going for seductive, but his voice was too rough, too raw for it to come across. His hands fumbled against Casey"s hips, fol owing the perfect V of his hipbones to his hard, hot, f.u.c.king huge d.i.c.k. Evan"s breath broke around a moan as he fit it in his palm, stroking it firmly.
he fit it in his palm, stroking it firmly.
Casey grunted and thrust roughly with his hand. "Oh G.o.d, oh G.o.d -- Evan, f.u.c.k, I don"t -- I never --"
"It"s fine." Evan dug through the cushion of the couch until his fingers closed around a smal packet of lube and a condom. "I"l guide you."
Casey"s shudder went through Evan as though they were the same person. Sweat poured in rivulets down his back, soaking the bandages, his ribs hurting like a b.i.t.c.h with every struggle for breath, but Evan couldn"t care less.
He wanted the weight of Casey"s body crushing him, the heat of his d.i.c.k splitting him open, the burn, the breathless touch of his mouth, G.o.d, he just wanted.
The first touch of cold, lubed fingers against his hole made Evan squirm and wriggle. "Sorry," Casey whispered, and he sounded it.
Evan shook his head. "Don"t worry -- I"m al right." He meant it. He wanted Casey so badly he could taste it, and if he had to go through preparation he would probably not be able to hold back.
"Shhh," Casey whispered, making Evan"s skin erupt in goose b.u.mps. "Let me learn."
Evan"s heart stopped for a second, only to start again twice as fast when the tips of Casey"s questing fingers started circling at his hole again. Sweat broke down Evan"s back, and his lip bled when he bit into it to stop from moaning out loud. Casey took his sweet time with him, shifting and thrusting and coming back with more lube, cold shivers leading the way to hot bursts of pleasure that made Evan whimper and thrash against the couch.
Evan whimper and thrash against the couch.
It wasn"t hard to believe Casey had never done this before, but even if his fingers moved tentatively inside of him, they managed to hit al the right spots. Dark coals of pleasure curled at the base of Evan"s spine with each push and pul .
Evan didn"t even know how much time had pa.s.sed, but he did feel when Casey went from two fingers to three, making him gasp and go boneless against the couch. A low moan escaped his lips as he fought to spread himself wider, his a.s.s sliding down on the couch and sinking lower on Casey"s hand.
"Oh G.o.d." Evan thumped his closest fist down on the couch, grabbing the end of the cushion to try and ground himself. "f.u.c.k, f.u.c.k, Casey, just do it."
"But --"
"No buts." Evan groped around for Casey"s wrist, feverishly clutching at it and forcing Casey"s fingers in deeper. "Now. Now, please, Casey."
Maybe it was the begging. Maybe it was because Evan"s desperation was so thick it had replaced the air between them. Maybe because not even Casey could stand it anymore.
His fingers slipped out of Evan, and he nearly sobbed again at the sensation. In his fuzzy mind he could hear a condom packet being torn open, and next thing he knew he was crying out Casey"s name as he pushed inside of him, his thick girth splitting him in two, fil ing him more ful y than he could"ve ever imagined.
Please move, Evan thought, moisture col ecting at the sides of his eyes as every single nerve of his body was bared raw. Please, G.o.d, please, do something -- anything Please, G.o.d, please, do something -- anything --.
"Anything you ask me," Casey whispered, lips brushing at the side of Evan"s face. "Anything, I"l give you anything."
Casey"s hand found Evan"s and he clutched at it, kissing his palm as he started to pul out. Evan moaned, strength leaving him in waves as he surrendered against the slow, purposeful thrusts Casey delivered until he didn"t know up from down any longer. Everything narrowed down to the center of him, and the delirious, burning pleasure that spread from where Casey"s hips were thrusting up into him to every single particle of his body.
Casey moved so flawlessly, hitting al the right spots in him, his mouth panting against Evan"s, too strung out to do anything but trade ragged breaths. Evan clung desperately to his back, his good leg twisted around Casey"s waist as he tried to urge him on, but Casey wouldn"t budge, his hand braced against the back of the couch, next to Evan"s head to avoid crashing against him with the quickening pace of his hips.
"G.o.d, Evan, you --" Casey"s voice broke and he moaned, his lips dragging down on Evan"s neck, kissing licking biting, never rough, just there, driving Evan to the point of no return. When Casey"s hand closed around his c.o.c.k, Evan cried out, his bal s pul ing tight against his body as he writhed in Casey"s arms, incoherent sounds slipping from his mouth as his o.r.g.a.s.m caught up with him.
Evan"s body tensed, seizing up straight like a bow, fingernails sinking in Casey"s shoulders as he clutched him as tight as he could, breath leaving him in a rush as he came, messy and fast, coating Casey"s fingers and wrist, some of it even landing on Evan"s own chest.
Casey smothered a long, drawn out groan in the curve of Evan"s neck, his spine going rigid as he, too, came, his hips stuttering to a stop, a rush of warmth fil ing Evan up from inside out, despite the thin barrier of the condom.
"Oh G.o.d, Evan," Casey whispered, completely strung out, breath damp on Evan"s skin. Evan had no voice to spare. He just clutched at Casey"s back like a shield from the outside world, weightless and floating, only anch.o.r.ed to this world by Casey"s arms, and his stil hard d.i.c.k inside of him.
I"m falling in love with you.
Evan"s heart stopped like a bucket of ice had just been dumped on his chest.
The pain was back.
Casey had no idea what happened. One moment he was buried deep inside of Evan, feeling like the whole world suddenly made sense again. The next moment, Evan was shoving roughly at his shoulders, his eyes wild as he stared to the side, blocking Casey out completely -- not only physical y, which hurt, yes, but Casey was almost expecting that.
What cut through Casey like steel was the abrupt What cut through Casey like steel was the abrupt emotional rejection -- made worse by the absolute completeness of their connection up to that point. It felt as though something had been ripped out of Casey, and he staggered as he tried to adjust.
Evan was so far away he could"ve been on another planet. Casey stumbled to his feet, nearly tripping over his lowered jeans and flushing as he struggled to get dressed.
There was no need to speak for either of them. Evan looked dangerously close to the breaking point. Everything in Casey screamed at him to do something, talk to him, reach out, anything to try and catch the pieces of Evan, crumbling to the floor. Instead Casey simply col ected his clothes and stumbled out of Evan"s home and out of his life.
Chapter 5.
The drive home wasn"t easy. Too much had happened in only a few short hours for Casey to even wrap his mind around it. As he pul ed in the parking spot of the center to hand off the van, he realized it was only eleven pm.
Christ, it felt like the afternoon belonged to another life. And as Casey took the stairs to his office to drop the keys off, that life felt foreign and empty. He tried to tel himself it was because he rarely stopped at the center at night, because Sandra wasn"t there, but he wasn"t that stupid. He didn"t like lying to himself. He"d gone through several varying stages of denial when he"d first figured out his sense, and none of it had ever helped him out.
Casey looked around the dark office and took a deep breath, running a hand through his too long hair, and wincing when he realized just how badly he needed a shower. Maybe he could grab one there. The last thing he wanted was to go home to Leo, and whoever Leo had brought along with him.
Some quiet would do him good. Somewhere he could be alone with his thoughts, despite those not being the happiest.
He stepped in the too smal shower of the common bathroom next to the dorms, letting the lukewarm jet of water trickle down his face and back, but he knew nothing would wash away the phantom of Evan"s touch on his skin.
There were fingernail marks on his arms, long scratches on his back, al of them brands that spel ed out Evan"s possession. Casey stil couldn"t figure out what had gone wrong. He knew Evan wanted him -- he had felt it so deep in his gut he had acted on instinct, without worrying about the consequences for once in his life.
Maybe he should have. It had been his first time, after al .
Casey wasn"t a fool. He wasn"t a dreamer. He"d not al owed himself that since high school. He knew love at first sight was a fairytale, not real life, but if he was to be honest with himself, he knew that there was no other explanation for how strongly he"d felt toward Evan, even before they"d found him beaten up and vulnerable on that sidewalk.
So maybe he"d fal en in love. But that didn"t mean Evan felt the same way.
"Oh, f.u.c.k!"
Casey yelped and nearly fel on his a.s.s in the shower as Marike quickly backpedaled in the hal .
"Oh, oh, oh Jesus -- I am so sorry! I am sorry, I had no idea someone was -- s.h.i.t!"
Casey wanted to slam his head against the wal .
This was getting better and better. Maybe his senses needed some fine tuning, because the night had turned out to hold some major crooked turns. "It"s okay," he gasped, turning off the water and scrambling to get his towel. "I wasn"t supposed to be here, uh. I"m -- just --"
"It"s al good." Marike"s hand waved from behind the doorway. Casey could hear her trying to stifle a giggle. "I didn"t mind the view."
Okay, now if the shower"s floor could open up and swal ow him whole, that would"ve been good. Jesus. It ranked up there with coming in his pants with Evan as one of the top five most embarra.s.sing moments of his life.
"So, seriously," Marike asked him fifteen minutes later when Casey had regained his decency and they were both sprawled on the smal loveseat jammed in between the bunk beds of the dorm. "You"re a psychic."
"Yep."
"And you can, like, see the future and stuff?"
Casey chuckled. "On occasion."
"Can you read my palm lines?"
"No."
"Tea leaves?"
"I"m not Harry Potter." Casey laughed, pouring a cup of scalding hot coffee from the patched up machine in Sandra"s corner of the office. "I just... perceive feelings.
Sometimes I see things before they happen... never quite early enough to stop them, though."
"That sucks."
"Not real y. I mean, I used to think it sucked." He shrugged. "At least now I use it, or try to, at least, to help people out."
Marike nodded, her jet black bangs bobbing against her forehead. "And this guy..."
"Evan."
"Right. This guy"s been bashed, you say?"
Casey"s stomach lurched. He nodded. Marike clucked her tongue in sympathy. "Did he see who did it?"
Casey swal owed a mouthful of dreadful coffee.
"He"s blind."
"Get out of here. Are you serious?" Another nod.
"Wow. Man, the world sucks hardcore."
Casey snorted. That, he could agree with.
"So let me get this straight. The guy is blind, he"s got his ribs kicked in, and then you ran out on him?"
"I did not!" Casey said in indignation.
"Wel , you"re here, aren"t you?"
"He threw me out!"
"But of course he did. He was al messed up, and then you two --" she made a crude gesture that made Casey blush "-- wel obviously that threw him for a loop."
"How do you know?"
"Dude, I may be a lesbian, but I"m stil a woman. In fact, I"m amazed al of you manage to keep up a relationship without a girl tel ing you what you do."
Casey chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. "So what"s your suggestion?"
"You know where he lives." She raised her cup at him, as though she were toasting. "I say, if you"re serious about him, don"t let him go. He"s probably used to that way too much."
Casey finished his coffee. "But what if he doesn"t want me?"
"You"re the psychic. Can"t you think of a way you could change his mind?"
"I don"t have superpowers, you know."
Marike smiled. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe it has nothing to do with that?"
Casey blinked. "What do you mean?"
"Maybe it"s not about what you can see or foresee.
Maybe this time you"re just like the rest of us who need to make it work the hard way." Marike was smiling at him, like she"d just let him on a big secret. Maybe she had.
Casey looked at the dark stains of his coffee at the bottom of the cup, and thought they almost looked like a smiling face. He shook his head and put it down on the box that served as a temporary nightstand. "I don"t know."
"Wel , that"s a change," Marike mused, taking another sip of her coffee.
Casey was about to say something, but a jaw- splitting yawn prevented him from finishing his sentence.
He looked at his wrist.w.a.tch and was surprised to see it was past three in the morning.
"Bed." Marike nudged him. "You can mul it over al you want it in the morning."
Casey looked around at the bunk beds, smal but inviting, and yawned again. His head hurt, his chest hurt, and he was missing Evan something fierce.
Sleep right then sounded awesome.