VOLUME 5
Chapter 3 – And so the dynamic duo is unleashed. This is not a joke.
Part II
“Izumi…chan?”
Sprouting from within the shade of the thicket, the emerging form slowly revealed itself to be the unmistakable figure of a human – Hashima Izumi-chan.
While noticeably restrained, the high pitch of the voice and distinctive lisp were univocally hers.
And despite her diminutive stature, there was one area she was certainly not lacking in.1
Another prominent force in the doujin ill.u.s.tration scene had made her appearance.
Our circle’s ill.u.s.trator is certainly at a disadvantage.2
…But it’s not the right time to dwell on these harsh realities.
“It’s nice to see you again, senpai…”
Everything about Izumi-chan has taken a 180 degree turn since the past summer, starting with her appearance.
In complete contrast with the sweet, simple and cheerful clothing she wore during Summer Comiket…
No, it’s as if her persona itself had a total makeover.
Frilly and lacy, a dull-colored yet gaudy outfit now hugged her body, while similarly flashy ribbons and shoes tied her hair and adorned her feet.
It would be hard to mistake her for anything but a gothic lolita.
The obligatory 「Senpai!」 accompanied by her ecstatic footsteps as she rushed over had also disappeared, now replaced by a graceful stride and an emotionless countenance.
It’s as if two Izumis existed; the cheerful girl during the day, and the demon who manifests and possesses her when night falls…3
Phew, I almost gave myself in to the grim atmosphere.
“Yeah, it’s been a really long time, Izumi-chan! How have you been? I’m sorry we couldn’t keep in touch after Summer Comiket, but we’ve been pretty busy on our side too, haha…”
“Oh, please don’t blame yourself, senpai! I’ve been at fault too.”
“Ahahahaha. So, have you gotten used to life back here? Made some friends?”
“Oh you jest, senpai. I lived all my life here until three years ago, so it’s not like I’ve completely forgotten my way around.”
“I guess that’s true! Hahahaha.”
“Hahahaha- Oh, I mean, excuse me senpai!”
It was only for an instant, but I think I caught a glimpse of the real Izumi-chan there.
“What I meant to say, senpai, is that I’m no longer the Hashima Izumi you know anymore.”
As she reverted to her colder and more impersonal persona, I thought I could detect a hint of sadness in Izumi-chan’s eyes.
“But why did you hide yourself earlier, Izumi-chan? I feel really bad about leaving you out of the conversation just now.”
“Oh, there’s no way I’ll be mad at senpai for ignoring me! It’s just that Onii-chan… said the lead should always take a backseat first before making her entrance.”
“Lead? Who?”
“Was this all part of your plan, Iori?!”
Ignoring Eriri’s sarcastic whisper, I continued to glare at Iori, who had since floated across to where Izumi-chan was standing.
“I was but faithfully reprising my role as the evil character. I thought you of all people would be able to appreciate my performance, Tomoya-kun.”
“Tsk.”
An unexpected entrance. Clad in black from head to toe. A voice as soft as a light breeze.
It’s the cla.s.sic “evil character returns” scene, like in the middle of the third season when you recognize the new mysterious character as soon you hear his voice.
It’s like those villains they keep bringing back over and over again… only in our case they only seem to get stronger.
“Izumi-chan, you’ve been tricked!”
“Senpai…”
But that won’t stop me from continuing to fight back the kind of sinister yet attractive kind of evil Iori embodies.
“Remember how it all began? Wasn’t it because of all those works that you loved?”
This can’t be the Izumi-chan that I know.
“When was it ever about gaining fame or making money? What happened to all the friendships you made playing LitRhap?”4
She’s a brilliant doujin creator who turned me into a believer after reading only one of her books, and I can’t bear to see her go down the road she’s headed.
“Can’t you remember, Izumi-chan? All the people smiling from the bottom of their hearts after seeing your work?”
I’m shouting myself hoa.r.s.e trying to reach the bottom of Izumi’s heart.
The one that was so pure only three months ago.
It was not to be.
“I’m deeply sorry, senpai, but…”
“Ah…”
Add “sly” to next to sinister and attractive too.
“Today’s clothing and arrangements were all planned by Onii-chan… but everything I’ve thought about and puzzled over – everything I’ve decided up to this point has been of my own free will.”
“Izumi-chan…”
The evil mastermind hasn’t resorted to any puppeteering or brainwashing, but simply persuaded the good guy to see his point of view.
“Like I said, senpai… I’m not the Izumi senpai knows – senpai’s kouhai anymore.”
“That’s too many senpais in one sentence.”
“I’m not the Hashima Izumi you love… I mean loved anymore.”
“The way she conveniently mixes in unnecessary words is really starting to get on my nerves.”
“Goodbye, senpai… The summer that I spent selling books with you, I will always hold dear in my heart.”
“Izumi-chaaaaaan!”
I know I looked really really cool, and I definitely wasn’t crying, but for some reason tears were running down my cheeks.
“You lose, Tomoya! A-ha-ha-ha-ha! A-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
And Iori, completely caught up in the moment and basking in the glory of his success even though there really wasn’t anything to celebrate about, made me lose track of what kind of character he was trying to be anymore.
“Well, you all seem to be having a lot of fun.”
At this point I was finding Eriri to be more of a nuisance than of a.s.sistance.
“So, Sawamura-senpai- no I mean, Kashiwagi Eri, we can finally have our battle now.”
“Hmpf.”
The Black Izumi-chan who had so far managed to keep in character now directed all her animosity onto the person standing by my side.
Taking it nonchalantly, the golden-haired twintail who had thus far been content with playing a minor role and opening her mouth only to make unhelpful wisecracks, finally chose to reveal her true ability as she stepped in front of me and began slowly swinging those tails.
It hurts when those tails find your eyes.
“I suppose I should first congratulate you on becoming 「rouge on rouge」’s main ill.u.s.trator. That’s pretty admirable considering you’ve only been around for a couple of months.”
With her Spencer heiress mode activated, Eriri was more than a match for Black Izumi.
“But I’d reckon most of it was the result of your brother’s machinations.”
“…”
“Eriri?!”
What?! What’s going on?! When did things between the two of them get this bad?
Didn’t Eriri apologize to Izumi after Summer Comiket? And didn’t she also give her a make-up present?5
And most importantly, aren’t they both mega LitRhap fans?6
“I trust you won’t be holding back for Winter Comiket, Kashiwagi-san.”
“Oh, you can count on it.”
“I’m grateful for your understanding.”
“My rival’s from 「rouge en rouge」. If I don’t pull out all the stops, it’s pretty obvious who’s gonna win.”
“…Circles don’t have anything to do with this.”
“Oh, don’t worry, that’s not enough of a handicap to stop me.”
“…D-Don’t you dare underestimate me! You have no idea how hard I’ve worked since then!”
“Well I’ll certainly be looking forward to it, 「rouge en rouge」’s Izumi-chan. In the meantime, try not to get crushed by the signboard, okay?”
“Grr…!”
Huh? Huhhhhhhhh?
And is it just me, or does Eriri seem to be the villain here?
“N-Now wait just minute, Eriri-”
“What, can’t you see I’m in the middle of something?”
“I don’t know… but for some reason to me it’s seems that you’re the one that’s been itching to pick a fight…”
“She started it.”
“But we apologized during the summer, right?”
“Well, I lied.”
“Ehhhhhhhhhh…?!”
Wow, I really didn’t need to hear that.
What about the relief that I felt when I thought a load had finally been taken off my chest?
Women are scary.
“It’s all right. I can understand where Sawamura-senpai is coming from.”
“I-Izumi-chan?”
While I was completely taken aback by Eriri’s sudden and unnatural change of character, I was even more surprised by the nonchalant way Izumi-chan accepted Eriri’s betrayal as a given.
“I mean, if a nameless creator without any achievements came out of nowhere to overtake me, I’d be pretty mad too.”
“Why you little-”
“Hiiiiiiiiii-!”
Women are scary. Catfights are scary.
I noticed that Iori had chosen to turn away and cover his ears with his hands some time ago.
Even he can’t do much in this situation.
* * *
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…Err…I think we can head back now, Eriri.”
“…Err…why don’t we go home, Izumi?”
It had been several minutes since the verbal skirmish had lapsed into a cold war.
Having finally regained some semblance of control, us two noncombatants simultaneously decided to call for a retreat.
“…Whatever.”
“Mm, let’s go home, Onii-chan.”
Maybe even those two thought they had gone a bit overboard, and there was a bit of awkwardness as they finally separated.
“Ah, err, I guess that’s that, Iori.”
“Ah, yeah, let’s both do our best for Winter Comiket, Tomoya-kun.”
It’s almost funny how we’re now sending each other off fairly pleasantly in a show of good sportsmanship when we were the ones who were at such odds earlier.
“Iori.”
“Yes, Tomoya-kun?”
“No matter what methods you may use, 「blessing software」 will never lose to the likes of you.”
And so keeping with the spirit of sincerity, I thought it was only right for me to issue one last formal declaration of war.
“Oh, you’re pretty confident, aren’t you?”
“Making games is a multifaceted skill, Iori.”
While it’s easy to focus on the looming gory- I mean, pa.s.sionate head-to-head duel between the two ill.u.s.trators, we’re not going to reach our shared goal relying on their strengths alone.
What you need is beautiful art, complementary music, the programming to sync it all together – and one more trump card 「rouge en rouge」 will never have.
“I’m sure you already know, but-”
“Kasumi Utako? Yeah, I guess she’s pretty good for the subject you’ve chosen.”
“It doesn’t matter what subject it is. On the scenario front, we’ve got you-”
“Oh, I’m not planning on losing on that end either.”
“…Huh?”
It took me awhile to process what Iori just said.
It seemed to me like he just breezily and nonchalantly discounted the author of a light novel selling over 500,000 copies.
“Come on, there’s no way you could’ve found another doujin writer of Kasumi Utako’s caliber.”
“Of course. But I never said anything about writing a better story.”
“Then what-”
“Didn’t you say it yourself, Tomoya-kun? That making a game was a multifaceted skill?”
“…Iori?”
Iori didn’t seem like he was saying that out of spite or because he was trying to be pretentious.
I knew that from my former position as his closest confidant.
But that in turn begs the question of why he’s so sure of himself.
“This time then, Tomoya-kun… Good night.”
“O-Oi…”
But Iori would only abruptly terminate the conversation, leaving me with an acute sense of confusion as he turned taking Izumi-chan with him towards the park gate.
“Tomoya-senpai… I’m sorry.”
It was half an apology and half a display of determination, and thus Izumi-chan too, without having reconciled with us in the end, gave only a quick nod of her head as she left us there.
“Eriri…let’s go.”
“Tomoya…”
I didn’t have it in me to hold the both of them back any longer, so I left with Eriri in the other direction.
* * *
“Oh, Izumi-chan’s leaving already?”
“…Eh?”
“I’ll be looking forward to your game at Winter Comiket, Izumi-chan! Work hard, okay?”
“Eh…?”
A girl sitting on a bench next to us called out cozily to Izumi-chan in the distance.
A girl that had left my house together with us, walked to the park together with us, and had been idling by our side for quite some time…
“Ahhhhhh, I’m sorry Megumi-san! I can’t believe I didn’t see you this entire time!”
“Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Weren’t you just lecturing me earlier about hiding people away, Tomoya-kun?”
“Well, I never intended to! Why would I do that anyway?!”
“You could have at least said something, Megumi. I’m sorry, but you really have no presence whatsoever.”
“Ooh, my bad. I’m currently at the climax of the game, you see… are we leaving?”
I wonder when we started thinking that Katou had already left.
Deadpan’s Wonderland:
1Filled with men’s hopes and dreams.
2But flat is justice!
3Omagatoki in the original text, referring to the moment at dusk when the sky turns dark, and also the time when “dark creatures” are supposed to appear.
4Little Love Rhapsody, nonexistent otome game for the PSP. Deadpan doesn’t know how the author comes up with all these fict.i.tious names.
5See Epilogue, Volume 3. Deadpan realizes he’s making references to translations that don’t exist yet.
6That’s precisely the problem, Tomoya.