CHARLES. I would not go through it again to be emperor of the sun and moon. The weight of those robes! I thought I should have dropped when they loaded that crown on to me. And the famous holy oil they talked so much about was rancid: phew! The Archbishop must be nearly dead: his robes must have weighed a ton: they are stripping him still in the vestry.
DUNOIS [drily] Your majesty should wear armor oftener. That would accustom you to heavy dressing.
CHARLES. Yes: the old jibe! Well, I am not going to wear armor: fighting is not my job. Where is The Maid?
JOAN [coming forward between Charles and Bluebeard, and falling on her knee] Sire: I have made you king: my work is done. I am going back to my father"s farm.
CHARLES [surprised, but relieved] Oh, are you? Well, that will be very nice.
Joan rises, deeply discouraged.
CHARLES [continuing heedlessly] A healthy life, you know.
DUNOIS. But a dull one.
BLUEBEARD. You will find the petticoats tripping you up after leaving them off for so long.
LA HIRE. You will miss the fighting. It"s a bad habit, but a grand one, and the hardest of all to break yourself of.
CHARLES [anxiously] Still, we dont want you to stay if you would really rather go home.
JOAN [bitterly] I know well that none of you will be sorry to see me go. [She turns her shoulder to Charles and walks past him to the more congenial neighborhood of Dunois and La Hire].
LA HIRE. Well, I shall be able to swear when I want to. But I shall miss you at times.
JOAN. La Hire: in spite of all your sins and swears we shall meet in heaven; for I love you as I love Pitou, my old sheep dog. Pitou could kill a wolf. You will kill the English wolves until they go back to their country and become good dogs of G.o.d, will you not?
LA HIRE. You and I together: yes.
JOAN. No: I shall last only a year from the beginning.
ALL THE OTHERS. What!
JOAN. I know it somehow.
DUNOIS. Nonsense!
JOAN. Jack: do you think you will be able to drive them out?
DUNOIS [with quiet conviction] Yes: I shall drive them out. They beat us because we thought battles were tournaments and ransom markets. We played the fool while the G.o.ddams took war seriously.
But I have learnt my lesson, and taken their measure. They have no roots here. I have beaten them before; and I shall beat them again.
JOAN. You will not be cruel to them, Jack?
DUNOIS. The G.o.ddams will not yield to tender handling. We did not begin it.
JOAN [suddenly] Jack: before I go home, let us take Paris.
CHARLES [terrified] Oh no no. We shall lose everything we have gained. Oh dont let us have any more fighting. We can make a very good treaty with the Duke of Burgundy.
JOAN. Treaty! [She stamps with impatience].
CHARLES. Well, why not, now that I am crowned and anointed? Oh, that oil!
The Archbishop comes from the vestry, and joins the group between Charles and Bluebeard.
CHARLES. Archbishop: The Maid wants to start fighting again.
THE ARCHBISHOP. Have we ceased fighting, then? Are we at peace?
CHARLES. No: I suppose not; but let us be content with what we have done. Let us make a treaty. Our luck is too good to last; and now is our chance to stop before it turns.
JOAN. Luck! G.o.d has fought for us; and you call it luck! And you would stop while there are still Englishmen on this holy earth of dear France!
THE ARCHBISHOP [sternly] Maid: the king addressed himself to me, not to you. You forget yourself. You very often forget yourself.
JOAN [unabashed, and rather roughly] Then speak, you; and tell him that it is not G.o.d"s will that he should take his hand from the plough.
THE ARCHBISHOP. If I am not so glib with the name of G.o.d as you are, it is because I interpret His will with the authority of the Church and of my sacred office. When you first came you respected it, and would not have dared to speak as you are now speaking. You came clothed with the virtue of humility; and because G.o.d blessed your enterprises accordingly, you have stained yourself with the sin of pride. The old Greek tragedy is rising among us. It is the chastis.e.m.e.nt of hubris.
CHARLES. Yes: she thinks she knows better than everyone else.
JOAN [distressed, but naively incapable of seeing the effect she is producing] But I do know better than any of you seem to. And I am not proud: I never speak unless I know I am right.
BLUEBEARD } [exclaiming {Ha ha!
CHARLES } together] {Just so.
THE ARCHBISHOP. How do you know you are right?
JOAN. I always know. My voices--
CHARLES. Oh, your voices, your voices. Why dont the voices come to me? I am king, not you.
JOAN. They do come to you; but you do not hear them. You have not sat in the field in the evening listening for them. When the angelus rings you cross yourself and have done with it; but if you prayed from your heart, and listened to the thrilling of the bells in the air after they stop ringing, you would hear the voices as well as I do. [Turning brusquely from him] But what voices do you need to tell you what the blacksmith can tell you: that you must strike while the iron is hot? I tell you we must make a dash at Compiegne and relieve it as we relieved Orleans. Then Paris will open its gates; or if not, we will break through them. What is your crown worth without your capital?
LA HIRE. That is what I say too. We shall go through them like a red hot shot through a pound of b.u.t.ter. What do you say, b.a.s.t.a.r.d?
DUNOIS. If our cannon b.a.l.l.s were all as hot as your head, and we had enough of them, we should conquer the earth, no doubt. Pluck and impetuosity are good servants in war, but bad masters: they have delivered us into the hands of the English every time we have trusted to them. We never know when we are beaten: that is our great fault.
JOAN. You never know when you are victorious: that is a worse fault. I shall have to make you carry looking-gla.s.ses in battle to convince you that the English have not cut off all your noses. You would have been besieged in Orleans still, you and your councils of war, if I had not made you attack. You should always attack; and if you only hold on long enough the enemy will stop first. You dont know how to begin a battle; and you dont know how to use your cannons. And I do.
She squats down on the flags with crossed ankles, pouting.
DUNOIS. I know what you think of us, General Joan.
JOAN. Never mind that, Jack. Tell them what you think of me.
DUNOIS. I think that G.o.d was on your side; for I have not forgotten how the wind changed, and how our hearts changed when you came; and by my faith I shall never deny that it was in your sign that we conquered. But I tell you as a soldier that G.o.d is no man"s daily drudge, and no maid"s either. If you are worthy of it He will sometimes s.n.a.t.c.h you out of the jaws of death and set you on your feet again; but that is all: once on your feet you must fight with all your might and all your craft. For He has to be fair to your enemy too: dont forget that. Well, He set us on our feet through you at Orleans; and the glory of it has carried us through a few good battles here to the coronation. But if we presume on it further, and trust to G.o.d to do the work we should do ourselves, we shall be defeated; and serve us right!