She nodded, but I could tell she was still worried about what came next and it made my heart throb because I was worried, too. My job was typically to put guys like Jared back on the streets. I never wanted the story and when the story was staring me right in the face, terrified and trying not to show it, I understood why I"d kept myself so separate from my clients. Emotion and personal attachment meant I couldn"t do the job I was hired to do. The reason I had been so off-kilter and unsteady with her from the beginning was because she had managed to tell me her story without words. It was in her eyes and in the way she sat there, locked up, devastated, and forlorn over her circ.u.mstances, knowing she was the one that had orchestrated her own downfall. She was never a client. She wasn"t a job or another victory I could put in my cap and tote around as I searched for validation that I shouldn"t need or want. She didn"t merely see past my personal facade to the man underneath; she had managed to slip under my professional one as well.
When we got back to the city I wanted to take her home with me, but she insisted that she should spend some time with her parents since they were all back under the same roof for the first time in too many years. I had to work early in the morning, and since I wasn"t at the office on Sat.u.r.day, I knew I was going to be drowning in paperwork so I reluctantly agreed. I also didn"t miss the warning look that Brite sent me when I pulled up in front of the house with her on the back of the bike. To be fair, I wasn"t sure the glare was for the fact I had his daughter plastered to me and wrapped around me or the fact that my bike wasn"t American made. Either way, I nodded, acknowledging that he had his eyes on me, and lifted the dark visor off my face so I could stare at the tiny hurricane of a woman that had blown past all my defenses and turned my well-ordered and structured life upside down as she climbed down off her perch and moved to my side.
She leaned up on her toes and kissed me on the end of my nose and told me she would text me later.
I went back to my sterile and lifeless loft and took a scalding hot shower so I could get my head back where it needed to be before I went into work the next morning. It didn"t work. All I could see was eyes with every single color of the woods we had left. All I could feel was soft skin and silky hair moving across my body. I brushed my teeth before getting in the shower but all I tasted was sweet chased by wild. Every single one of my senses had been corrupted by her, and by the time I shut the water off and climbed naked into bed I knew I was in for a restless night of sleep. My d.i.c.k was hard and my brain was scrambled. It made for a particularly uncomfortable and annoying situation.
I had the lights off and was scrolling through emails for the morning on my phone when a message from Avett popped up. I was expecting a good-night text or a see-you-tomorrow text. What I got was: I miss your d.i.c.k. I wanted to send you that text after the first time you kissed me, but I refrained.
I blinked at the glowing screen and then read and reread the message to make sure what I was seeing was accurate. No one sent me messages like that ... no one except for Avett Walker. s.e.xting wasn"t something I had much practice with and, frankly, wasn"t sure I was any good at, but I was game to try.
It misses you, too.
Is it hard for me?
I looked at the dark sheet that was tented in front of me and let out a snort, suddenly glad I hadn"t taken care of the discomfort the thoughts of her created while I was in the shower.
Unbelievably.
I want it in my mouth, or in my hands. Not picky. Where do you want it, Quaid?
I groaned into the darkened room and looked at the glittering lights of the city as they watched me wrap my fist around my now throbbing d.i.c.k like curious voyeurs. I could feel my blood pumping under my fingers and tension coiling at the base of my spine.
I"m good with either of those places.
Lol. No ... where do you really want that c.o.c.k that"s so hard for me, Quaid?
So many places. I wanted it between her legs where she was always so wet and ready for me. I wanted to bend her over and take her where I was positive no one had before. I could die happy with her sa.s.sy mouth so full of my c.o.c.k that she couldn"t wrap me up in her words and tell me her stories that broke me. I could get off with her small hands twisting and turning around my length. Her soft palm caressing me and holding on to my b.a.l.l.s as she whispered in my ear of all the ways she wanted me. But since it was dark and I was rubbing myself off to my fantasy, I told her the truth. I told her where I wanted to ride her from the first time I got an eyeful of her spectacular b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
I want to f.u.c.k your t.i.ts. I want to kiss them and suck them until your slippery and wet ... everywhere.
I panted a little as divulging it to her made my blood rush loud between my ears. I kicked the sheets off and squeezed the base of my d.i.c.k-hard-as pleasure started to leak from the tip. Typing one-handed while I was jacking myself off took more skill than I ever would have imagined.
I want you to lay back, wrap those fantastic t.i.ts around my d.i.c.k, and let me ride your chest while you open that pouty mouth and lick and suck the head until I come down your throat.
There wasn"t a response for a long minute but the little ellipsis was flashing showing me that she was working sending a response back.
I"ve never done that before. And considering how wet you made me by telling me that, I"m a.s.suming it"s moving up on the must-try list.
I swore as my c.o.c.k jerked at her words.
I"ll be happy to show you everything I know, Avett.
Lucky me. Are you getting close? Are you picturing me touching myself, thinking about you, imagining you and all the delicious things you can do with that executive c.o.c.k of yours?
I narrowed my eyes at her terminology for my junk. I needed to ask her what she meant by that, but right at the moment I got distracted as my b.a.l.l.s started to ache, letting me know I was close.
Growling under my breath I shifted my thumb on my phone to her number and hit the call b.u.t.ton so that I could FaceTime her. It was dark and when she answered I couldn"t see more than her gleaming eyes and mischievous smile in the little box.
"Took you long enough." Her voice sounded thready and thin like it always did when she was about to come. "I was sure when I told you that you made me wet you were gonna call."
"I"m going to come and I figured you would want to witness the fruits of your labor." It was so out of character for me, so different from the s.e.x I typically had, but it felt good. It felt right and totally freeing.
She whimpered a little and I watched as she moved so that she was lying down and holding the phone up over her face. I could see her shoulders shift and move as she worked herself over on the other end of the call.
"I"m close but I"m trying to keep it quiet. No noisy o.r.g.a.s.ms under Mom"s roof."
I laughed a little and then groaned as I rubbed the flat of my palm over the weeping head of my c.o.c.k. Moisture swirled around and as good as it felt it still didn"t compare to her mouth or her gentle touch.
"Avett, hold the phone up higher. I want to see more of you." It was dark and I wouldn"t get a great view of all of her pretty, pale skin but she obeyed my gruff command almost instantly. I watched her chest rise and fall rapidly, her nipples puckered and raised in pleasure as her body moved in time with whatever her hand was doing out of the frame.
I exhaled her name and told her gruffly, "I swear those t.i.ts are going to be the death of me."
Her face was flushed and her breathing was getting erratic. "I didn"t know you were such a breast man."
She licked her bottom lip and whispered my name as she tossed her head back on the shadowy pillows behind her. "I wasn"t until yours."
"That"s nice." Her eyes fluttered closed and the end of "nice" got drawn out into a long s sound. She started to pant in earnest and I barked her name to get her to look at me.
"Are you going to come, Avett?"
She nodded. "Yes."
My hips bucked at the word and my hand started to rock rapidly up and down the length of my shaft far more aggressively than I typically handled myself. Desire pounded furiously through every part of me and pleasure howled from somewhere deep inside of me to be released.
"I want you to come with me, so keep your eyes on me."
She nodded jerkily, and while I knew I could tell her to move the phone down so that I could watch her fingers moving through her slick folds and playing with all that pretty pinkness that puffed up and bloomed so sweetly for me, it was her face I wanted to watch as she broke apart. I wanted to know that it was me that did this to her, even when I was across town. I wanted this thing between us to be powerful enough and important enough that it should sweep both of us away no matter how we were connected.
"Quaid." It was my name uttered like it was the sweetest thing she had ever tasted that sent me over.
I growled her name in return and let out a satisfied hum as ropy streams of satisfaction spurted from the end of my very happy c.o.c.k and landed on my abs.
I watched as her eyes snapped back shut and as her chest lifted up off the bed as her head tossed side to side. Her teeth bit down into her bottom lip hard enough to leave marks and every single part of her turned the same rosy shade of pink as her head. I wanted to lick her like she was my own cherry-flavored lollipop. She was gorgeous and the pleasure she found while thinking about me, while imagining us, was the most valuable gift anyone had ever given to me.
I waited for a few seconds for her to come down from the s.e.x high, and when she did, she did it with a throaty chuckle and zero shame in coming for me in such a spectacular way.
I sighed and shifted so that I was sitting on the edge of my bed. I was going to need another shower.
"That was beautiful, Avett, and so are you."
She blinked at me and settled herself back into the bed behind her. "You"re the beautiful one, Counselor."
I huffed out a breath. "As fun as that was, it"s got nothing on watching you get off up close and personal. I"ve never been that great at looking but not touching. I want things, remember."
She yawned and gave me a sleepy grin. "I"ll let you touch whatever you want next time we have a sleepover. I"ll even let you try out those dirty, s.e.xy things no one would expect a guy like you to be all about. I"m going to bed. Good night, Quaid."
A guy like me thought them but he never told anyone about them until the right someone came along. Who would have ever thought the right someone would be a tiny dynamo with pink hair and an appet.i.te for self-destruction and trouble. "Night, Avett. Be safe tomorrow."
She nodded loosely. "Will do." She blew me a little kiss and the screen went dark.
I got to my feet and made my way to the bathroom. It wasn"t until I was halfway through my second shower of the night that I remembered I wanted to know what she meant by my executive c.o.c.k. The idea made me chuckle and as I washed the evidence of how she affected me off of my stomach. I wondered if the person that had coined the phrase "trying to capture lightning in a jar" had ever met Avett Walker.
THE NEXT DAY I was bogged down in client meeting after client meeting. A couple were cases I had already agreed to take on but a couple were new clients. New clients that I vetted way more carefully than I would have in the past. I asked questions. I wanted details beyond bank account balances and ability to pay my fees. I turned down a guy that was out on bail for suspected arson. He was a friend of Orsen"s and told me the partner had sent him to me and that I couldn"t come any more highly recommended.
I thanked him for the praise, but the more I talked to him, the more his inflated confidence and sense of ent.i.tlement filled my office, and the more I knew I couldn"t and wouldn"t take his case. The guy was accused of burning down his girlfriend"s house after she left him for someone else. It was a brutal and unnecessary crime, and when he mentioned that the girlfriend, her new boyfriend, and the child that he shared with the woman were home when the blaze started, it took every ounce of self-control I had not to leap across my desk and hit him in the face. He had no remorse, no basic human decency to pretend like he was sympathetic to what was lost. Considering how devastated Avett had been after the fire that took her home I couldn"t stomach the thought of helping this guy out.
I told him I wouldn"t be able to take his case and got the expected reaction.
He was p.i.s.sed. He called me a hack. He told me he would take it up with my boss. I told him that if he and Orsen were such close friends he should ask the partner to represent him at his trial. The guy huffed out of my office, leaving a slammed door and the stench of guilt and wrongness behind.
I knew my refusal to take the case and the paycheck attached to it would have Orsen in my office, so when my receptionist told me I had a visitor the last person I expected to walk through my door was Avett.
She had on leggings covered in a spray of colorful roses that clung to her curvy legs like a second skin, with her ever present combat boots and long black top that was fitted with a scoop neck until it flared out at her hips like a tutu. She looked like a hipster ballerina with her Technicolor hair piled up on the top of her head in a messy bun and bright red lips painted on her smiling face.
Before I could ask her what she was doing in my office downtown when she was supposed to be under lock and key, she shoved a Styrofoam container in my hands and bent down to give me a hard kiss on my mouth, which went slack with surprise.
"Asa is on Avett babysitting duty today and he had a property around the corner he wanted to look at. He"s opening his own bar. He wants to do some kind of upscale speakeasy. He asked me if I wanted to run the kitchen for him." She barked out a laugh. "He"s insane." Her eyes glowed at me as she propped her hip on the edge of my desk. "I told him your office was around the corner, so he walked me to the entrance, but then I saw that there was a Greek food truck parked across the street and bet you hadn"t had lunch yet, since you were with me all weekend, so I thought I would say hi and feed you." All the words tumbled out each faster and more hurried than the other. She smiled at me and I felt it take up so much of the empty s.p.a.ce that was inside of me. "Food trucks are like my new favorite thing. They have so many different kinds of food in them and they can go all over the city so you"re not in one location. Freedom and food, they speak to my soul." She finally ran out of breath. "So hi, here"s lunch."
I reached out and put my hand on her knee and crooked my finger at her so that she bent down enough that I could touch my lips to hers.
"Hi."
It was a sweet kiss. It was a kiss that had more than our mouths touching. I was pretty sure with the brush of her pouty lips against mine that I felt her heart bang against my own.
She put her hand on the side of my face and was rubbing her thumb across my cheek when she told me, "You look tired."
I snorted and ran my hand up her thigh until it was resting against the lush curve of her backside. I wanted to pull those ridiculous leggings off of her and put her in my lap on my d.i.c.k.
"I wonder why?"
She snickered and bent so that her forehead was touching mine. "I have no idea."
I was going to kiss her again but as I was getting to my feet so I could grab her face and tilt her head back, my office door swung open and clattered against the wall hard enough to have my diploma and credentials shifting and sliding out of alignment.
I knew Orsen was going to be upset that I turned his friend away, but I didn"t expect the red-faced, squinty-eyed, chest-billowing kind of mad that stormed into my office. Avett let her hands fall away from me and I took a step away from her and closer to Orsen as his furious gaze swept over us. I saw him take in her unusual hair and her colorful outfit before a nasty sneer twisted across his angry mouth.
"If you wanted to take on charity cases and get paid by getting your d.i.c.k sucked, then you should have joined the D.A."s office, Jackson. We are not a pro bono firm, we are a firm that takes clients that can pay ... with money. Not with whatever else they may be offering." I heard Avett suck in a sharp breath and saw her whole body go stiff out of the corner of my eye.
I put my hands on my hips and gave Orsen a hard look. "That"s enough. I"ve been picking and choosing my own cases for years, Orsen. I"ve earned that right. The one today was no different."
His angry gaze swept back over Avett and then bored into me with warning and threat obvious between each blink he took.
"No, but her case was different. Did you even bother to send her a bill, Quaid, or did you decide it was okay to waste your time and the firm"s valuable resources because you wanted to get your d.i.c.k wet?"
I opened my mouth to tell him he needed to shut the h.e.l.l up when he held up his hand before I could even begin.
"If you want any shot at being made a partner you will take the case like you should have done this afternoon. You will tell your little playmate good-bye, send her an invoice, and get on with finding a proper"-the sneer on his face was so ugly that if I hadn"t spent years perfecting a stone-cold poker face for jury trials I would have recoiled from him- "and suitable companion to bring with you to the company party. I don"t know where your head or your priorities are at, Quaid, but this behavior is not becoming of the young man I hired. I"m starting to wonder if your ex took more than half your bank account with her when she left. Your common sense seems to have gone missing."
With another disparaging look he turned on his heel and stormed out of the office with as much bl.u.s.ter as he"d entered.
I ran a rough hand over my face and turned to look at Avett. She was staring at the place where Orsen had left with wide eyes and her lower lip was trembling.
"I"m sorry about that." The apology seemed so minimal for what my boss had said to her. "Orsen is kind of old school when it comes to things. He isn"t very ... progressive."
She cleared her throat and I could see how shaken the encounter had left her. I put a hand on her arm when she refused to look up at me and meet my eyes.
"Asa sent me a text. He"s done looking at the s.p.a.ce and he"s waiting for me out front."
I bit back a bunch of dirty words and slid my hand up to her shoulder. "Avett, don"t let what Orsen said get to you. You are different and your case was different, but it didn"t have anything to do with me wanting to get you naked."
She finally lifted her eyes up to mine and I could see it so clearly. Disaster and destruction clashing bright and hot in the swirling depths. My hurricane had reached the sh.o.r.e and it was about to lay waste to this fragile thing that was starting to grow roots and take shape between us.
"Avett." Just her name but it was a plea, a promise that I didn"t think like Orsen, a pledge that I would never discount her or devalue her the way my boss had done.
She shook her head at me and took a step to the side. A lopsided grin twisted her pretty mouth and it made me want to break every single thing in my office.
"Send me the bill, Quaid. I"ll get it paid somehow. I know you mentioned not wanting checks and balances between us but they were always there."
I growled at her and took a step towards her but she held her hands up in front of her like she was trying to ward me off. "I don"t care about the f.u.c.king bill, Avett. I care about you and keeping you safe and that you stop trying to destroy everything good in your life to make something up to a dead girl." I motioned between us with an angry sweep of my arm. "This is good between us, better than good, and you can"t abide by it. You"ve been looking for a way to twist it into something else from the inception."
My words were harsh, accusatory, and I knew better than to go after someone feeling vulnerable that way. I"d seen too many witnesses shut completely down after similar tactics used by the prosecution.
"Maybe I have been waiting for it to go bad because-let"s be honest with each other, Quaid-how many good things really come from the bad decisions we make?" She blinked at me and her eyes narrowed. "I"m never going to be proper or suitable. I"m never going to be the kind of girl you can take with you to some fancy office party ... a party you never mentioned to me." I cringed because she had a point. I"d never mentioned the event because it was still a month away and her current situation with the loss of her house and the unknown bad guys after her seemed more pressing than some snotty shindig I didn"t even want to attend.
She shrugged at me and headed for the open door. "I grew up in the back of a bar. My dad"s half biker and half saint. My mom is a short-order cook with almost as many issues as I have, and I look supercute with pink hair, so I"m not planning on changing it, or me, anytime soon. I like where I come from and I"m finally starting to like who I"m coming to be." She cleared her throat and if I hadn"t been watching her like a hawk I would have missed the sheen of tears that covered her eyes as she tossed over her shoulder, "I"m not trying to atone to a dead girl anymore, mostly because of you, but there are still a lot of people in my life that I do owe apologies and repentance to. I"m not interested in adding you to that list, Counselor."
She moved to the door and shut it behind her with a soft click as I stalked back to my desk and picked up the lunch she brought me and tossed it in the trash with more force than necessary. I kicked the side of my desk, which only led to my wingtip getting scuffed and my mood getting sourer. I threw my big body into my leather chair and glared at the crooked achievements that looked like they were barely hanging on to their place on my office wall. I"d worked so hard for all of those pieces of paper. I was so sure that they were going to ensure me the life I wanted and guarantee me everything that I thought would make me happy.
I saw them for exactly what they were, pieces of paper that meant nothing unless the man that possessed them did something worthwhile with his time and his talent.
It wasn"t until I left for the day after ignoring more than one email from Orsen demanding that I take on his friend"s case that it occurred to me that Avett hadn"t left because she was hurt about what Orsen said to her; she left because she was hurt about what he said to me. She would weather blow after blow that landed on her because that"s how she operated, but she couldn"t stand to see someone she cared about, maybe even loved, in the line of fire. She didn"t want me to put my job and possible promotion in jeopardy because of our relationship. I"d made no secret about how important my career was to me. She was protecting me the only way she knew how ... by destroying the good and forgoing her own happiness. She would blame herself if my position at the firm was threatened because we were together and she was cutting off that culpability at the pa.s.s.
I called myself every kind of idiot I could think of for not recognizing her motivations sooner. I was too busy formulating my counterargument and dialing in my cross-examination that I fully planned to level at her that I"d forgotten that the girl I was falling for was equal parts whirlwind and martyr.
CHAPTER 15.
Avett