"Captain Fort, Nollie. Will you give him some coffee? I"m afraid I must go out."
When he had gone, Noel looked at her visitor drinking his coffee. He had been out there, too, and he was alive; with only a little limp. The visitor smiled and said:
"What were you thinking about when we came in?"
"Only the war."
"Any news of him?"
Noel frowned, she hated to show her feelings.
"Yes! he"s gone to the Front. Won"t you have a cigarette?"
"Thanks. Will you?"
"I want one awfully. I think sitting still and waiting is more dreadful than anything in the world."
"Except, knowing that others are waiting. When I was out there I used to worry horribly over my mother. She was ill at the time. The cruelest thing in war is the anxiety of people about each other--nothing touches that."
The words exactly summed up Noel"s hourly thought. He said nice things, this man with the long legs and the thin brown b.u.mpy face!
"I wish I were a man," she said, "I think women have much the worst time in the war. Is your mother old?" But of course she was old why he was old himself!
"She died last Christmas."
"Oh! I"m so sorry!"
"You lost your mother when you were a babe, didn"t you?"
"Yes. That"s her portrait." At the end of the room, hanging on a strip of black velvet was a pastel, very faint in colouring, as though faded, of a young woman, with an eager, sweet face, dark eyes, and bent a little forward, as if questioning her painter. Fort went up to it.
"It"s not a bit like you. But she must have been a very sweet woman."
"It"s a sort of presence in the room. I wish I were like her!"
Fort turned. "No," he said; "no. Better as you are. It would only have spoiled a complete thing."
"She was good."
"And aren"t you?"
"Oh! no. I get a devil."
"You! Why, you"re out of a fairy-tale!"
"It comes from Daddy--only he doesn"t know, because he"s a perfect saint; but I know he"s had a devil somewhere, or he couldn"t be the saint he is."
"H"m!" said Fort. "That"s very deep: and I believe it"s true--the saints did have devils."
"Poor Daddy"s devil has been dead ages. It"s been starved out of him, I think."
"Does your devil ever get away with you?"
Noel felt her cheeks growing red under his stare, and she turned to the window:
"Yes. It"s a real devil."
Vividly there had come before her the dark Abbey, and the moon balancing over the top of the crumbling wall, and the white owl flying across.
And, speaking to the air, she said:
"It makes you do things that you want to do."
She wondered if he would laugh--it sounded so silly. But he did not.
"And d.a.m.n the consequences? I know. It"s rather a jolly thing to have."
Noel shook her head. "Here"s Daddy coming back!"
Fort held out his hand.
"I won"t stay. Good night; and don"t worry too much, will you?"
He kept her hand rather a long time, and gave it a hard squeeze.
Don"t worry! What advice! Ah! if she could see Cyril just for a minute!
2
In September, 1916, Sat.u.r.day still came before Sunday, in spite of the war. For Edward Pierson this Sat.u.r.day had been a strenuous day, and even now, at nearly midnight, he was still conning his just-completed sermon.
A patriot of patriots, he had often a pa.s.sionate longing to resign his parish, and go like his curate for a chaplain at the Front. It seemed to him that people must think his life idle and sheltered and useless. Even in times of peace he had been sensitive enough to feel the cold draughty blasts which the Church encounters in a material age. He knew that nine people out of ten looked on him as something of a parasite, with no real work in the world. And since he was nothing if not conscientious, he always worked himself to the bone.
To-day he had risen at half-past six, and after his bath and exercises, had sat down to his sermon--for, even now, he wrote a new sermon once a month, though he had the fruits of twenty-six years to choose from.
True, these new sermons were rather compiled than written, because, bereft of his curate, he had not time enough for fresh thought on old subjects. At eight he had breakfasted with Noel, before she went off to her hospital, whence she would return at eight in the evening. Nine to ten was his hour for seeing parishioners who had troubles, or wanted help or advice, and he had received three to-day who all wanted help, which he had given. From ten to eleven he had gone back to his sermon, and had spent from eleven to one at his church, attending to small matters, writing notices, fixing hymns, holding the daily half-hour Service inst.i.tuted during wartime, to which but few ever came. He had hurried back to lunch, scamping it so that he might get to his piano for an hour of forgetfulness. At three he had christened a very noisy baby, and been detained by its parents who wished for information on a variety of topics. At half-past four he had s.n.a.t.c.hed a cup of tea, reading the paper; and had spent from five to seven visiting two Parish Clubs, and those whose war-pension matters he had in hand, and filling up forms which would be kept in official places till such time as the system should be changed and a fresh set of forms issued. From seven to eight he was at home again, in case his flock wanted to see him; to-day four sheep had come, and gone away, he was afraid, but little the wiser.
From half-past eight to half-past nine he had spent in choir practice, because the organist was on his holiday. Slowly in the cool of the evening he had walked home, and fallen asleep in his chair on getting in. At eleven he had woken with a start, and, hardening his heart, had gone back to his sermon. And now, at nearly midnight, it was still less than twenty minutes long. He lighted one of his rare cigarettes, and let thought wander. How beautiful those pale pink roses were in that old silver bowl-like a little strange poem, or a piece of Debussy music, or a Mathieu Maris picture-reminding him oddly of the word Leila. Was he wrong in letting Noel see so much of Leila? But then she was so improved--dear Leila!... The pink roses were just going to fall! And yet how beautiful!... It was quiet to-night; he felt very drowsy.... Did Nollie still think of that young man, or had it pa.s.sed? She had never confided in him since! After the war, it would be nice to take her to Italy, to all the little towns. They would see the a.s.sisi of St.
Francis. The Little Flowers of St. Francis. The Little Flowers!... His hand dropped, the cigarette went out. He slept with his face in shadow.
Slowly into the silence of his sleep little sinister sounds intruded.
Short concussions, dragging him back out of that deep slumber. He started up. Noel was standing at the door, in a long coat. She said in her calm voice:
"Zeps, Daddy!"
"Yes, my dear. Where are the maids?"
An Irish voice answered from the hall: "Here, sir; trustin" in G.o.d; but "tis better on the ground floor."
He saw a huddle of three figures, queerly costumed, against the stairs.