"Why, do as I do with it; let it grow up and make clear gain on its growth."
"Oh shaw!" sez I, "he couldn"t have it bellerin" round amongst the gay and fashionable throng."
"It wouldn"t beller," sez he, "if he fed it enough."
I broke it up after a long talk, for I wouldn"t let him demean himself by askin" the question and bein" refused, and then he said he wuz goin" to ask him if he would take white beans for his pay, or part of it, or mebby, sez he, "he would like to take a few geese."
"Geese!" sez I, "what would they want with geese squawkin" round here?"
"Why," sez he, "you know they would look handsome swimmin" round in the water in front of the hotel. And he might gin out, if he wuz a mind to, that they wuz a new kind of swans; they do such things at Coney Island."
Sez I, "Are you a deacon or are you not? Are you a pillow in the meetin" house or hain"t you a pillow?"
"I didn"t say he had _got_ to do thus and so, I said he might if he wanted to."
Sez I, "You keep your geese and pray to not be led into temptation."
And then the truth come out, he hated the geese and wanted to git rid of "em. Men always hate to keep geese, it is one of their ways, though they love soft pillows and cushions as well as wimmen do, or better, it is one of their curious ways to love the effects of geese dearly and hate the cause and demean it.
Well, by givin" up the best part of the forenoon to the job I ground him down onto not tryin" to d.i.c.ker with any barter, but to walk up like a man and pay for our two boards. Faith is real well off and kinder independent sperited, and I knew she wouldn"t let us pay for hern, and at last we got a good comfortable room for ourselves and one for Faith, not fur from ourn. Both on "em looked out onto the beautiful river, and I had lots of emotions as I looked out on it, although they didn"t rise up so fur as they would, if I hadn"t had such a tussel with my pardner, so true it is that chains of c.u.mberin"
cares and Josiahs drag down the aspirin" soul-wings for the time bein". But I laid out to take sights of comfort in more tranquil and less d.i.c.kerin" times, in lookin" out on the beauty and glory of the waters, and fur off, into the beautiful distance lit with the mornin"s rosy light, and "sunset and evenin" star."
We sot off on the afternoon boat for Clayton. Faith seemed real glad to see us and we visey versey. And it wuz a joy to me to see her admiration of the Islands as we swep" by "em and round "em on our way to the Park.
We got back in time to git ready for supper in pretty good sperits; the dinin" room wuz large and clean and pleasant, the waiters doin"
all they could for us, and we had a good supper and enough on"t. And speakin" of the waiters, most of "em wuz nice boys and girls, tryin"
to git an education; some on "em had been to college and wanted to earn a little more money to finish their education, and some wuz learnin" music and wanted more money to go on with their lessons--good plan, I think--they will be as likely agin to succeed as if they wuz sot down and waited on. It is a good thing, as the Bible sez, "to bear the yoke in your youth," and though I spoze the yoke weighed down considerable heavy on "em, specially on excursion days, and when there wuz folks hard to please, yet I thought they will come out all right in the end.
Some on "em wuz studyin" for the ministry, and I thought they would git a real lot of patience and other Christian virtues laid up agin the time of need. Though here, as in every other walk of life, there wuz some that wuz careless and slack.
But to resoom forwards. I see at the table there wuz the usual summer tourists round me, care-worn fathers and weary dyspeptic mothers with two or three flighty, over-dressed daughters, and a bashful, pale son or two, and anon a lady with a waist drawed in to that extent that you wondered where her vital organs wuz. And how could any live creeter brook the agony them long steel cossets wuz dealin" the wearer? You could see this agony in the dull eyes, pale face and wan holler cheeks wearin" the hectic flush of red paint. And the little pinted shues, with heels sot in the very center of the nerves, ready to bring on prostration, and blindness.
Right by that agonized female would be a real lady. English, mebby, with a waist the size the Lord give and Fashion had not taken away.
With good, sensible shues on, dealin" out comfort to the amiable feelin" feet; rosy cheeks, bright eyes, all bearin" witness to the joys of sensible dressin" and sensible livin".
And then there wuz bright pert-lookin" young wimmen, travelin" alone in pairs, and havin" a good time to all human appearance. Anon good-lookin", manly men, with sweet pretty wives and a roguish, rosy little child or so. Sad lookin" widder wimmen, some in their weeds, but evidently lookin" through "em. Anon a few single men with good-lookin" tanned faces, enjoyin" themselves round a table of their own, and talkin" and laughin" more"n considerable. Respectable, middle-aged couples, takin" their comfort with kinder pensive faces, and once in awhile a young girl as adorably sweet and pretty as only American girls can be at their best.
But on my nigh side, only a little ways acrost from us sot the ponderous man I remembered on my journey thither who wanted to be a fly. Furder and furder it seemed from amongst the possibles as he towered up sideways and seemed to dwarf all the men round him, though they wuz sizeable. And gittin" a better look at him, I could see that he had a broad red face, gray side whiskers and one eye. That one eye seemed to be bright blue, and he seemed to keep it on our table from the time we come in as long as we sat there.
That evenin" in the parlor he got introduced to us. Mr. Pomper, his name wuz, and we all used him well, though I didn"t like "the cut of his jib," to use a nautical term which I consider appropriate at a watering-place.
But go where we would, that ponderous figger seemed to be near. At the table he sot, where that one eye shone on us as constant as the sun to the green earth. In our walks he would always set on the balcony to watch us go and welcome us back. And in the parlor we had to set under the rakin" fire of that blue luminary. And if we went on the boats he wuz there, and if we stayed to home there wuz he.
And at last a dretful conviction rousted up in me. It come the day we went the trip round the Islands. We enjoyed ourselves real well, until I discerned that huge figger settin" in a corner with that one eye watchin" our party as clost as a cat would watch a mouse. Can it be, sez I to myself, that that man has formed a attachment for me?
No, no, it cannot be, sez I to myself. And yet I knowed such things did occur in fashionable circles. Men with Mormon hearts hidden under Gentile exteriors wuz abroad in the land, and such things as I mistrusted blackened and mormonized the bosom of Mr. Pomper, did happen anon and oftener. And I methought if so, what must I do? Must I tell my beloved companion? Or must I, as the poet sez, "Let concealment, like a worm in the rug, feed on my damaged cheek?"
But thoughts of the quick, ardent temper of my beloved companion bade me relinquish the thought of confidin" in him. No, I da.s.sent, for I knew that his weight wuz but small by the steelyards, and Mr. Pomper"s size wuz elephantine, with probably muscles accordin". No, I felt I must rely on myself. But the feelin"s I felt n.o.body can tell. Thinks I, "It has come onto me jest what I have always read and scorfed at"; for I had always thought and said that no self-respectin" female need be inviggled unless she had encouraged the inviggler, or had a hand in the invigglin". But alas! with no fault of my own, onless it wuz my oncommon good looks,--and of course them I couldn"t help,--here I wuz the heroine of a one-eyed tragedy, for I felt that the smoulderin"
fire burnin" in that solitary orb might bust forth at any time and engulf me and my pardner in a common doom.
But two things I felt I could do; I could put on a real lot of dignity, and could keep a eagle watch onto my beloved pardner, and if I see any sign of Mr. Pompers attacktin" him, or throwin" him overboard, I felt the strength of three wimmen would be gin to me, and I could save him or perish myself in the attempt. In accordance with them plans, when Mr. Pomper approached us bringin" us some easier chairs, I confronted him with a look that must have appauled his guilty mind, and when he sez to me:
"It is a pleasant day, mom."
I looked several daggers at him and some simiters, and never said a word. And when a short time afterwards he asked me what time of day it wuz, pretendin" his watch had stopped, I looked full and cold in his face for several minutes before I sez in icy axents, "I don"t know!"
Every word fallin" from my lips like ice-suckles from a ruff in a January thaw, and then I turned my back and went away from him.
Vain attempt! What wicked arts men do possess! He pretended to believe I wuz deef, and with that pretext he dasted to approach still nearer to me and kinder hollered out:
"What time of day is it?"
I see I must answer him, or make a still more sentimental and romantick seen, and I sez, with extreme frigidity and icy chill, "I don"t know anything about it."
[Ill.u.s.tration: _""What does ail you, Samantha, lockin" arms with me all the time--it will make talk!" he whispered in a mad, impatient whisper, but I would hang on as long as Mr.
Pomper wuz around." (See page 100)_]
And then I turned on my heel and walked off. In such n.o.ble and prompt ways did I discourage all his overtoors, and every time I see him approach my pardner, if they wuz anywhere near the outer taff-rail of the boat, I would approach and lock arms with Josiah Allen, killin"
two birds with one stun, for that act both ensured safety to my heart"s idol, and also struck a blow onto Mr. Pomperses nefarious designs. He see plain that I idolized my pardner. Once or twice, so hardly is oncommon virtue rewarded in this world, Josiah spoke out snappishly:
"What duz ail you to-day, Samantha, lockin" arms with me all the time--it will make talk!" he whispered in a mad, impatient whisper, and he would kinder wiggle his arm to make me leggo"; but secure in my own cast-iron principles, I would hang on as long as Mr. Pomper wuz round.
CHAPTER SEVEN
IN WHICH JOSIAH PROPOSES TO DANCE AND MR. POMPER MAKES AN ADVANCE
CHAPTER SEVEN
IN WHICH JOSIAH PROPOSES TO DANCE AND MR. POMPER MAKES AN ADVANCE
The day wuz a tegus one to me, borne down as I wuz by the constrainin"
atmosphere of a onwelcome and onlawful attachment. And it took all the principle I had by me to git up even a emotion of pity for the one-eyed watcher, whose only recreation seemin"ly durin" that long, long day wuz to watch our party as clost as any cat ever watched a rat hole, and to kinder hang round us. Faith kep" pretty clost to me all day and seemed to take a good deal of comfort watchin" the entrancin"
scenery round us.
Oh what beautiful sights! What enchantin" views of the water; or, if the light struck it jest right, the long, blue, undilating plain, dotted with gold points of light. Islands with the virgin forest stretchin" down to the edge of the water, and cool green shadders layin" on the velvet and mossy sward as you could see as you looked into the green aisles. And all sorts of trees with different foliage, some loose and feathery, some with shinin" leaves, glitterin" where the rain had washed "em the night before; some towerin" up towards the heavens, shakin" their heads at the sun; some droopin" down as if weighted with their wealth of branches and green leaves; anon a tree covered with flowers, and then some evergreens, and anon one that had ketched in its brilliant leaves the red hectic of autumn fever and blazed out in crimson and yeller. And then a hull lot of evergreens standin" up straight and tall by the water"s edge, and as fur back as you could see, but sort o" reachin" out their green arms towards the river. And them on the edge, lookin" down into the clear depths and seein" there another island, a shadow island layin" beautiful and serene with nothin" disturbin" its beauty but the shinin" ripples wavin" the fairy branches below, like the soft wind rustlin" the tree tops overhead.
So we sailed on by hamlet and town, rounded tree-crowned promontores, swep" out into broader vistas stretchin" out like a lake, anon goin"
by a big island lookin" like the sh.o.r.e of the mainland, goin" right up aginst it seemin"ly, as if the boat must strike it and git onto wheels and travel as a wagon if it calculated to proceed onwards at all. But jest as we would think in a nautical way: "Land ahoy! land ahoy! oh, heave out and walk afoot," jest as these nautical terms would be pa.s.sin" through our alarmed foretops, the boat would turn its prow slowly but graceful, round to a port-the-helm, or starboard ditto, and we would glide out through a narrow way onbeknown to us, onto a long, gla.s.sy road layin" fair and serene ahead.
Then more islands, then more narrer channels, then more broad ones. By Fiddler"s Elbow, named Heaven knows for what purpose, for no fiddle nor no elbow wuz in sight, nothin" but island and water and rock all crowned with green verdure. Mebby it dates back to the time we read of when the stars sung together, and if stars sing, why shouldn"t islands dance, and if islands dance it stands to reason they must have a fiddle and one on "em must fiddle. I do not say this _is_ so, but throw out this scientific theory as one of singular interest to the antiquarian and historian of the Thousand Islands.
Anon we entered the Lost Channel, agin the antiquarian sperit is rousted up as we inquire, "When wuz it lost? and how long? And when wuz it found agin, and who found it?" Way back in the dawn of creation, did the dimplin" channel git kinder restive and try to run off by itself, and flow round and act? Or did the big leap down Niagara skair it so that it run away and never stopped runnin" until it got all confused and light-headed among these countless islands, and wandered away and got lost and by the side of itself?