Victor didn"t feel the need to tell Edwin that he did know. He"d seen the nightmares that Randall had, the way he hadn"t been able to sleep for a long time afterward.
Randall said, very casually, "Edwin chewed all his pillows to shreds until he was fifteen and still sleeps with a stuffed bear named Sprinkles." At Edwin"s indignant howl, Randall looked back, eyebrow rising. "Don"t make me tell them about the first time you saw a train."
Anthony barked out a laugh. "Yeah, Edwin, we"ve got plenty of embarra.s.sing stories about you. Don"t get too smart."
Grumbling, Edwin sprawled back down in his seat with righteous indignation. After a while, lulled by the motion of the van, Edwin"s agitated fidgeting calmed and he wound up sleeping, pressed up against Victor"s side. The first time Edwin had flopped over, Victor had given Anthony a helpless look, but Anthony had just grinned at him. Knievel had paced over and appropriated Edwin"s lap as her bed, the both of them happily pressed into the warmth of Victor.
Victor wasn"t entirely sure how he felt about all of this, but he didn"t want to disturb their rest, so he stayed as still as he could, even when his arm started to get pins and needles. He spent the rest of the drive watching the pa.s.sing scenery, seeing the light grow dimmer and dimmer. By the time they arrived at the edge of the forest, Victor calculated that they had perhaps half an hour left, at best.
Though Victor was not the one sizing up the woods to see if it was adequate for running, he couldn"t help but think of it that way, taking note of how densely the trees were packed, that the ground was mostly made up of dead leaves and pine needles. It wouldn"t be pleasant for a human to run through, but he imagined it would be a very different story for a wolf. The sun all but vanished as they wound their way deeper into the forest, and Edwin woke up with a jolt, swaying away from Victor"s shoulder. Sleeping at an angle like that, his neck should have been killing him. Instead, Edwin was grinning, his hands going to his shirt.
"Ed, wait until the van"s stopped at least," Anthony sighed, though he was sitting rigidly in antic.i.p.ation too, his eyes glinting yellow in the darkened interior of the van.
Victor wondered if he should be scared, being in a relatively small vehicle with four wolves that were getting antsy. He wasn"t, though. He wasn"t even wary, which surprised him somewhat.
The moment Jed found a turnoff, Edwin was out of the van, clothes falling into a puddle behind him. Victor caught a glimpse of tanned skin and long legs before fur flashed in between the trees. A long, joyous howl lifted to the sky as Jed switched off the van and the headlights dimmed, halving the light that shone out into the woods.
Anthony was next, bounding out of the van. He grinned at them as he shed his shirt. "Have a good night, guys," he said to Victor and Jed. "We"ll find you in the morning." Then he too was stripping the rest of his clothes off, smoothly shifting and sprinting away on all fours, chasing Edwin with gleeful barks.
Jed was carefully helping Redford take off the dog tags, the bracelet he wore. "I"ll be right here," Jed murmured, kissing his forehead. Knievel seemed to join her owner"s mood, chirping as she rubbed against Redford"s arm. "h.e.l.l, go blow off some steam, and then I"ll race you and the little fur ball, okay?"
"Okay," Redford replied, but he looked nervous. He kept darting glances at Randall, seemingly embarra.s.sed. "I, um. I"m going to go find a tree or something so n.o.body has to watch." He took Jed"s hand, a silent plea for Jed to come with him.
"Well, let"s find you a tree, then." Jed smiled softly, kissing him, concern in his expression as they started toward the tree line. Edwin came barreling out of the woods, tackling Jed and licking his face before bounding happily around Redford"s legs. Apparently he was ready for that run now.
Victor stepped out of the van, taking a deep breath of the night air. He wished he could block his ears, because he"d heard Redford shift before, and it wasn"t pleasant. "You might want to concentrate on your book," he said to Randall. "The sounds you"re about to hear are... well, somewhat horrifying."
Randall looked up with a frown. "Because he"s not full Cano?" He put the book aside, coming to stand next to Victor, eyes sharp as he looked through the deepening dusk. "I can"t imagine going through the shift like that."
Victor had antic.i.p.ated that there might be a few more minutes to wait, but apparently the wolf in Redford had decided to come out early. It started with the sickening snaps of cracking bone, echoing around the forest, closely followed by the distinct sound of someone trying not to scream. Anthony had come back, a dark shape of fur hovering at the edge of the road. Edwin was curled up next to Redford, little rumbles of encouragement coming from him as he nudged his nose against the other wolf. Jed was on the other side of Redford, arms wrapped around him, the two of them holding Redford close as he changed.
When it was all said and done, Victor was just glad it was over. Redford was flopped on the ground, panting softly, but he happily nosed at Jed"s head, recovering quickly. He was more cautious about Edwin, but he looked fairly content to just accept that another wolf was there.
"When do you usually turn?" Victor asked Randall, curious. "I know you said you do it later, but is there a set time?"
Randall watched as Edwin nudged Jed toward the woods, b.u.t.ting against Redford, encouraging them both to take off running. "I don"t like to be ruled by a lunar object." He shrugged. "I turn when I want to." There was an implied or when I can"t put it off any longer that Victor recognized, the steel of control that was tempered by the knowledge that control could only go so far. But unlike David, Randall didn"t seem to hate the wolf instincts. It was merely preference. "Am I bothering you?" Randall looked over to him. "I can go elsewhere."
Getting back into his seat, Victor dug out his own book. "Not at all," he said. "Consider me relieved, actually. I"m not entirely sure about spending the night in a van, in dark woods, by myself all night." He gave a wry smile. Not that Randall would be there all night, but it was nice to have some company.
"Oh, you won"t be alone," Randall a.s.sured him. "Jed won"t last twenty minutes with my brothers. I"m actually surprised he isn"t back yet, or Edwin isn"t here to tell us all about the human that pa.s.sed out in the woods."
Victor snorted. He was surprised at that too. Though Jed was incredibly fit-he had to be, for his job-keeping up with excited wolves did sound exhausting. "He"s doing better than I would," Victor admitted.
"Have you ever gone running?" Randall asked. His eyes weren"t yellow, not yet, but there was something intense about them that seemed to cut straight through Victor, even without being able to meet them fully, like Randall was the one who could read souls and futures.
"I"m a professor that reads books all day, and my idea of fun is doing the crossword," Victor said dryly. "The only times I"ve ever run was when something was chasing me."
Huffing out a laugh, Randall pushed away from where he"d been leaning against the van. He paced a little, movements languid, graceful. "It"s like nothing else," he mused. "Not even just the running, but the experience of being out there. The ground under your feet, the breeze against your skin, like the whole night is just rushing through you. Like you"re captured by it, pulled in and enmeshed in every beat and throb of it."
It did sound nice. But it also made Victor think idly about the similarities between wolves and vampires. Both of them had something that meant the world to them, something that they needed, otherwise they"d go crazy. He had to wonder if his own breed of half blood had something like that, and he just hadn"t discovered it yet.
"It sounds very freeing," he replied.
Randall stretched, arms up to the sky, before collapsing down on himself and going back to leaning against the side of the van. "That"s the point," he agreed. Then, whole body p.r.i.c.king to attention, he murmured, "Here comes Jed."
Sure enough, there was the m.u.f.fled noise of cursing and someone crashing through the underbrush toward them. Jed came into view, red-faced, and stumbled to a halt, hands on his thighs, puffing out huge, shuddering breaths. "Oh, f.u.c.k me," he managed between gasps for air. "I think I have a hernia. Can you die from a running f.u.c.king hernia?"
"I"m not sure that you can get hernias from running," Victor pointed out calmly, looking up from his book, shadows cast out onto the gra.s.s from the sour yellow glow of the van"s overhead light. "I thought you"d last longer. You do always boast about your stamina."
"Blow me" was Jed"s eloquent answer as he flopped down onto the gra.s.s, spread eagle, looking worn out. "Oh, G.o.d, I think I"m dying."
Victor rubbed a hand over his mouth to smother a laugh. He retrieved a water bottle from his bag and stepped out of the van to stand over Jed, holding the water out for him. Redford came running out of the undergrowth, nosing at Jed and pinning him down with ninety-five pounds of contented wolf.
Groaning a little, Jed did manage a smile, genuine behind the fact he was still heaving in air. His fingers tangled in Redford"s fur, rubbing behind his ear. "See?" Jed muttered, head falling back onto the ground. "Told you I could keep up."
Edwin was next, racing out of the woods and piling on top of the two of them. His tail was wagging frantically, and he happily licked everyone he could reach before he took off again, howling loudly. There was a howl in the distance in reply, likely from Anthony. At the sound of it, Victor could see Randall starting to look longingly at where Edwin had run off to, his knuckles white as he gripped his book.
"Randall," Victor murmured. "You should go."
Randall glanced between Victor and Jed, hesitating. "I feel bad leaving you. Both of you," he hastened to add. "No offense, but it"s dark and you don"t have my eyes."
"I also have no doubt that you three will smell any potential danger long before it even comes close to us," Victor said. "Go, have fun. We"ll be quite fine." It was, surprisingly, almost painful watching Randall deny his urge to change. It seemed wrong to have a wolf hold back like that.
After what seemed like a long few moments, Randall finally nodded. Some of the tension eased from his shoulders as he gave in. "Fine. But I"ll be in earshot." He flashed a smile, wolfish and eager. "And I can run faster than you"d think. You"ll be fine."
Randall stripped off his sweater, folding it neatly on the seat of the van. His shoes were next, followed by his jeans, until it was just Randall standing naked under the full flush of the moon.
Victor knew he shouldn"t stare. It was completely rude of him to stare. He had the feeling that if this were happening at any other time, Randall would be stammering and blushing, embarra.s.sed. But now, with the shift approaching, he was standing straight and tall, confident, his eyes slowly changing to yellow.
And he was startlingly well built. Victor hadn"t antic.i.p.ated that a body like that would be hidden under the sweaters and shyness. The muscular definition on the man was something that Victor felt he could quite happily spend a very long time visibly appreciating. He was all lean limbs and smooth skin, and oh G.o.d, Victor should really stop staring.
Randall shifted, skin becoming fur, body elongating, until instead of a man there was a wolf. In contrast to Edwin"s dark-gold fur, Anthony"s deep brown, and Redford"s dappled red, Randall was more mottled, cream-colored muzzle fading into tan. Randall circled Victor"s legs, lightly nudging him with his muzzle.
Victor had very briefly had contact with Redford in his wolf form, once, back when they"d been taking some of the kidnapped victims to the hospital. But he was still hesitant about reaching down to gently place his hand on Randall"s head, his fingertips b.u.mping against his ears. It seemed wrong to just put his hands all over a creature so free.
Randall pushed into Victor"s touch, chuffing softly. Apparently he didn"t mind getting his ears scratched, so Victor kept it up, careful in his touch. He was well aware that Randall was not like, say, Knievel-Randall wasn"t going to bite his hands if he touched him in a way Randall didn"t like-and he was still cautious, though Victor was relaxing into it somewhat. Wolf fur was a lot coa.r.s.er than he"d imagined.
A soft, contented rumble came from Randall, and he rolled over, showing his stomach. There was amus.e.m.e.nt in Randall"s expression. If a wolf could be said to smile, he was now. Victor frowned down at him. "Are you all right?" Why was Randall rolling around on his back?
Randall"s tail stopped wagging. With a sigh, he got back onto his feet, shaking off his coat. Redford was making a low huffing noise in the background like he was laughing at Victor, and Jed was laughing too. "What?" Victor gave Jed a questioning look. "I"m missing something incredibly obvious, aren"t I?"
"G.o.dd.a.m.n, princess," Jed said with a grin. He was sprawled on the ground with Redford, rubbing under his chin happily. Knievel was stalking Redford"s gently waving tail through the gra.s.s. "You never had a dog, did you?"
Victor shrugged. "I"ve never particularly had the time to care for one. I can"t even keep plants alive. Why?"
"For someone who"s supposed to be so smart, you"re kind of missing the point," Jed commented. The man looked awfully smug. "You never heard of a pack animal showing their stomach before? He"s submitting. Giving you his throat. I think it"s kind of a big deal."
Randall had moved away from him and was sitting now, back to Victor, staring out into the woods. He lifted his head, howling, listening for his brothers" response.
Victor promptly felt rather stupid. He took a tentative step closer to Randall, lowering his voice. "Er, my apologies. I"m afraid I"m not well versed in wolf body language."
Randall looked back over his shoulder to regard Victor for a moment. The moon was pouring down onto him, silver light making his eyes shine, making him look like so much more. He got up, shaking himself off, and stalked over to Victor. He pressed his head against Victor"s stomach, pushing him back toward the van. When Victor"s knees. .h.i.t the edge of the van floor and he sat, Randall put his paws on Victor"s legs, half standing so they were nose to nose.
Then he licked Victor across the cheek.
Chuffing out hoa.r.s.e noises that Victor was beginning to suspect were wolf laughs, Randall then turned and ran into the woods, disappearing with a flash of his tail. Victor pulled a face, wiping his sleeve across his cheek to clean off the wolf s...o...b..r. "I bet you don"t drool on people, Redford," he said.
In response, Redford opened his muzzle and licked Jed across the cheek, going over his ear for good measure. He looked far too amused about doing so.
"Yeah, that"s another wolf thing," Jed informed Victor, wiping off his cheek and sprawling under Redford. Knievel had caught his tail and was now happily wrapping her paws around it, her own tail lashing back and forth. "I think it means he likes you, princess. Either that or he"s thinking about eating you in your sleep."
"Emotional communications via saliva," Victor said dryly.
"How is that any different than what you normally do?" Jed pointed out.
Victor threw an empty water bottle at him and retreated back into the van.
Two hours later, Jed made his way into the vehicle. He and Redford had been sprawled out together on the ground, the gentle noise of Jed"s voice just barely audible over the cacophony of the night sounds. They"d even run together, back and forth in the tall gra.s.s of the clearing, Jed laughing loudly when Redford tackled him to the ground. They seemed to fit together now just as well as they did when Redford wasn"t shifted. It was odd to watch, Jed Walker being so human. So very vulnerable.
Finally, though, Redford took off into the woods-after much prompting and encouragement from Jed. Heaving himself into his seat, Jed stretched and groaned before toeing off his boots. He pulled a gun from his waistband and left it on the seat next to him while he settled in and made himself comfortable. Victor just gave him a brief glance and went back to reading. The moon had risen high in the sky now, half the night whittled away, and he couldn"t even hear any howling anymore.
"I"m somewhat surprised you let him go off on his own," Victor murmured, still more absorbed in his book than the act of talking. "With not even a cell phone or a flare gun or something."
"I keep trying," Jed sighed heavily, head tilted back. He"d shrugged off his jacket and was squirming in the seat, trying to find a good position to sleep in. Knievel had appropriated one of his knees, draped over it like a scarf. "But for some reason he won"t wear a f.a.n.n.y pack. Also, no opposable thumbs, so...." Jed shrugged.
Shockingly, Jed didn"t seem to feel the need to fill the silence. Time pa.s.sed, the overhead light seeming so dim compared to the darkness outside, making Victor feel a little like he was stuck in Plato"s cave with only a single fire to ward off the night. Victor turned the pages of his book, and Jed"s breathing evened out into something quite like sleep.
The idea of chasing sleep was a tempting one, but Victor didn"t think he was going to have much luck trying to get comfortable in the minivan.
"Have you heard from him?" Jed"s voice was low, but not that of a man who"d been asleep. He didn"t indicate who he was talking about. Then again, he didn"t really need to.
"No." Victor sighed faintly, looking up from his book to glance out the window. David had loved nights like this: clear and cold, completely still. "Have you?"
Barking out a quick laugh, Jed dragged a hand over his face. In the garish light of the overhead he looked tired, worry pinching the corners of his eyes. "Yeah, I don"t think I"m exactly on Davey"s Christmas card list at the moment." After a beat he shook his head, lips tight. "I tried. Burned through every contact I could think of that we"d used together, tracked him to Russia, maybe, and then Peru. Trail kept going cold. I gave up a few weeks ago, when I lost wind of him someplace in Argentina. Then again, probably was just chasing ghosts."
"Perhaps," Victor murmured. "If David doesn"t want to be found, he won"t be. He"s a bit more experienced at doing so than the average human contact you have. No offense."
Jed didn"t look exactly thrilled to be reminded of David"s otherness, of the fact that he"d been both something more and something less at once. "I knew him," Jed muttered, staring up at nothing. "s.h.i.t, princess, I knew him for years. Now I don"t really know f.u.c.k all, I guess."
Victor hadn"t seen much of Jed"s reaction to finding out that David wasn"t human. He"d seen the first part, when Jed had thought that throwing garlic pizza at a vampire was a hilarious thing to do, but all he knew of after that was that Jed had hidden in his hotel room for some time. He imagined that the knowledge must have been quite a shock, especially to Jed, who didn"t really mingle with the supernatural crowd.
"And in those years that you knew him, he was exactly the same person as he was after you found out what he was," Victor pointed out. "Except for the numerous lies he told you, I a.s.sume." He frowned, staring out the window. Honestly, he had no idea how David had convinced Jed for so long that he was human. "He wasn"t at his best in Cairo, either. If you"re going to judge him, don"t judge him because of that."
"This ain"t some after-school special about giving your mommy and daddy the "I f.u.c.k boys" talk," Jed growled. "He sure as h.e.l.l wasn"t the guy I knew. Because instead of being a kind of stick-up-the-a.s.s contact who dated like it was changing socks, he was a guy who ate people. And now I gotta live with the fact that, as close as I was, as much as I thought I understood, everything was wrong. So f.u.c.k you, Victor, and f.u.c.k Cairo. He would have killed you if Redford hadn"t smelled it going south. And you wouldn"t have been the first."
Victor just stared at Jed for a few seconds, then dipped his gaze back to his book. He really had nothing to say to that. What could he say? That if David had killed him, he wouldn"t have particularly minded at the time? It was true, but it was also likely to send Jed into a cursing fit, and Victor wasn"t in the mood to put up with one.
After a long moment, Jed murmured, so quietly that it almost didn"t count as out loud, "Just wish I didn"t worry so much about the stupid f.u.c.ker." Leaning forward, Jed twisted the key, turning off the lights. "Go to sleep, Victor. You"re gonna run down the battery."
Victor blinked hard as he tried to adjust to the sudden darkness. At a loss for what to do, he slotted a bookmark between the pages he"d been reading and put the book down on the seat next to him. There was a far-off noise, a long, drawn-out howl that rea.s.sured him somewhat. At least one of the wolves must be close.
"As much as David could trust anybody, I think he trusted you," Victor said into the darkness. His sight was beginning to adjust, bringing Jed and the interior of the van into sharp relief, the pale moonlight shading everything white and black. "He"ll contact us when he"s ready."
There was a sharp snort that summed up what Jed thought of that. But Victor could see him rustling around, and then a blanket hit him in the face. "Sleep, princess," Jed commanded, but there was a softness in his tone, under the weariness. "We"ve got a long day coming."
Victor heaved a sigh, but he nonetheless dragged the blanket off his face and twisted himself to lie across two of the seats. It was hardly comfortable. "Pity. I was looking forward to braiding your hair and watching romantic comedies together. We were having such a nice talk too." One that he was glad was over.
Jed gave a loud, genuine laugh, and Victor could see the other man peering over the back of the seat at him. "You"d be surprised, professor," Jed said around his grin. "I do a mean french braid."
Chapter 5.
Redford REDFORD RAN.
Nothing else existed but him and the forest. The wind through his fur, the ground under his paws, the noises of insects and night birds that guided him. To his sight, the forest was alive with movement, flora and fauna swaying together as a single organism, one that he was instinctively in tune with.
He had never felt so free.
The aggression and the fear that his instincts were usually edged with were nowhere to be found. It was just him and the forest and utter freedom.
Every once in a while, he caught a glimpse of another wolf. His instincts reacted first, wanting to chase and growl, but once his human mind kicked in, he recognized them for who they were. Edwin, a lighter streak amongst the darkness. Anthony, stalking a deer. Randall, curled up next to a stream to watch the play of moonlight over water. Then, later in the night, the three of them gathered together. Redford could smell them and the deer they were eating.
He approached cautiously, loitering on the edge of the clearing they"d dragged their prey to. Though Redford understood that they were wolves and they were just eating, the whole scene looked briefly terrifying to him: three wolves gathered around a carca.s.s, blood shining on their muzzles. But it was just the Lewises, all of whom gave him a happy welcome. Redford sounded a low huff in return and trotted over.
Edwin had saved him the liver. Redford wasn"t sure why, but from the expectant body language of Edwin, it was probably his favorite part. They fed, and splashed around in the river to clean, and wound up collapsed in a pile afterward, warm and full. Randall"s nose was pressed into Redford"s stomach, Edwin was draped across him, and Anthony was warm at his back. The moon bathed them and the river sang to them and they were at peace.
Redford closed his eyes, and the rest of the night drifted past him. His instincts and the wolf in the back of his mind were peaceful and satisfied, for the most part. But Jed wasn"t there. That was the only thing that would make it better.
As the sun started to rise over the horizon, Redford lifted his head and opened his eyes, taking a deep breath. He hadn"t slept so much as he"d rested. Detaching himself from the pile, he sneaked a few short steps away to change back, biting his tongue so he didn"t disturb the brothers. They didn"t look like they were waking up anytime soon, so Redford left them, unable to help smiling briefly as he started the walk back.
He wished he"d had the foresight to bring along clothes or to change back closer to the van. It felt very strange, strolling the woods in nothing but his skin, but it also felt like an extension of the night and everything it had contained. Freedom. Freedom from worry and boundaries. The freedom to do exactly what he was doing.
It felt amazing.
The walk back didn"t take him as long as he"d antic.i.p.ated. Jed was hovering at the tree line, looking anxious and worried. The playful spirit of the night lingered in Redford, and he grinned to himself as he stalked behind the trees, keeping himself hidden until he got close enough to pounce on Jed, tackling him to the ground.
"That was awesome," Redford enthused, happily thumping his hands on Jed"s chest. "We should do that every full moon."
The tension faded from Jed"s face into a slow grin, his fingertips brushing along Redford"s cheeks. There was guilt under the smile, but Jed shook it away to laugh lowly. "You look like you had fun, babe," he murmured, kissing Redford"s chin.
"It would have been more fun if you"d been there," Redford replied. "But it was good. I ran around, and Anthony killed a deer. And then we rested a bit." Self-conscious, he reached up to swipe a hand over his mouth, making sure there wasn"t any blood remaining. Thankfully, there didn"t seem to be. "And I liked it earlier too, when it was just you and me."