"And you MUST come and dine with us!" said Isabel. Obviously not in the month before the wedding, Isabel"s happy excuses, in an aside to Susan, were not necessary, "---But when you come back," said Isabel.
"And you with us in our funny little rooms in the Mission," Susan said gaily. Isabel took her husband"s arm, and gave it a little squeeze.
"He"d love to!" she a.s.sured Susan. "He just loves things like that. And you must let us help get the dinner!"
On Sundays the old walks to the beach had been resumed, and the hills never had seemed to Susan as beautiful as they did this year, when the first spring sweetness began to pierce the air, and the breeze brought faint odors of gra.s.s, and good wet earth, and violets. Spring this year meant to the girl"s glowing and ardent nature what it meant to the birds, with apple-blossoms and mustard-tops, lilacs and blue skies, would come the mating time. Susan was the daughter of her time; she did not know why all the world seemed made for her now; her heritage of ignorance and fear was too great. But Nature, stronger than any folly of her children, made her great claim none the less. Susan thrilled in the sunshine and warm air, dreamed of her lover"s kisses, gloried in the fact that youth was not to pa.s.s her by without youth"s hour.
By March all Sausalito was mantled with acacia bloom, and the silent warm days were sweet with violets. The sunshine was soft and warm, if there was still chill in the shade. The endless weeks had dragged themselves away; Susan and Billy were going to be married.
Susan walked in a radiant dream, curiously wrapped away from reality, yet conscious, in a new and deep and poignant way, of every word, of every waking instant.
"I am going to be married next week," she heard herself saying. Other women glanced at her; she knew they thought her strangely unmoved. She thought herself so. But she knew that running under the serene surface of her life was a dazzling great river of joy! Susan could not look upon it yet. Her eyes were blinded.
Presents came in, more presents. A powder box from Ella, candle-sticks from Emily, a curiously embroidered tablecloth from the Kenneth Saunders in Switzerland. And from old Mrs. Saunders a rather touching note, a request that Susan buy herself "something pretty," with a check for fifty dollars, "from her sick old friend, f.a.n.n.y Saunders."
Mary Lou, very handsomely dressed and prosperous, and her beaming husband, came down for the wedding. Mary Lou had a hundred little babyish, new mannerisms, she radiated the complacency of the adored woman, and, when Susan spoke of Billy, Mary Lou was instantly reminded of Ferd, the salary Ferd made at twenty, the swiftness of his rise in the business world, his present importance. Mary Lou could not hide the pity she felt for Susan"s very modest beginning. "I wish Ferd could find Billy some nice, easy position," said Mary Lou. "I don"t like you to live out in that place. I don"t believe Ma would!"
Virginia was less happy than her sister. The Eastmans were too busy together to remember her loneliness. "Sometimes it seems as if Mary Lou just likes to have me there to remind her how much better off she is,"
said Virginia mildly, to Susan. "Ferd buys her things, and takes her places, and all I can do is admire and agree! Of course they"re angels," added Virginia, wiping her eyes, "but I tell you it"s hard to be dependent, Sue!"
Susan sympathized, laughed, chattered, stood still under dressmakers"
hands, dashed off notes, rushed into town for final purchases, opened gifts, consulted with everyone,--all in a golden, whirling dream.
Sometimes a cold little doubt crossed her mind, and she wondered whether she was taking all this too much for granted, whether she really loved Billy, whether they should not be having serious talks now, whether changes, however hard, were not wiser "before than after"?
But it was too late for that now. The big wheels were set in motion, the day was coming nearer and more near. Susan"s whole being was tuned to the great event; she felt herself the pivot upon which all her world turned. A hundred things a day brought the happy color to her face, stopped her heart-beats for a second. She had a little nervous qualm over the announcements; she dreamed for a moment over the cards that bore the new name of Mrs. William Jerome Oliver. "It seems so--so funny to have these things here in my trunk, before I"m married!" said Susan.
Anna came home, gravely radiant; Betsy exulted in a new gown of flimsy embroidered linen; Philip, in the character of best man, referred to a list of last-moment reminders.
Three days more--two days more--then Susan was to be married to-morrow.
She and Billy had enough that was practical to discuss the last night, before he must run for his boat. She went with him to the door.
"I"m going to be crazy about my wife!" whispered Billy, with his arms about her. Susan was not in a responsive mood.
"I"m dead!" she said wearily, resting her head against his shoulder like a tired child.
She went upstairs slowly to her room. It was strewn with garments and hats and cardboard boxes; Susan"s suitcase, with the things in it that she would need for a fortnight in the woods, was open on the table. The gas flared high, Betsey at the mirror was trying a new method of arranging her hair. Mrs. Carroll was packing Susan"s trunk, Anna sat on the bed.
"Sue, dear," said the mother, "are you going to be warm enough up in the forest? It may be pretty cold."
"Oh, we"ll have fires!" Susan said.
"Well, you are the COOLEST!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Betsey. "I should think you"d feel so FUNNY, going up there alone with Billy---"
"I"d feel funnier going up without him," Susan said equably. She got into a loose wrapper, braided her hair. Mrs. Carroll and Betsey kissed her and went away; Susan and Anna talked for a few minutes, then Susan went to sleep. But Anna lay awake for a long time thinking,--thinking what it would be like to know that only a few hours lay between the end of the old life and the beginning of the new.
"My wedding day." Susan said it slowly when she awakened in the morning. She felt that the words should convey a thrill, but somehow the day seemed much like any other day. Anna was gone, there was a subdued sound of voices downstairs.
A day that ushered in the full glory of the spring. All the flowers were blooming at once, at noon the air was hot and still, not a leaf stirred. Before Susan had finished her late breakfast Billy arrived; there was talk of tickets and train time before she went upstairs. Mary Lou had come early to watch the bride dress; good, homely, happy Miss Lydia Lord must run up to Susan"s room too,--the room was full of women. Isabel Furlong was throned in the big chair, John was to take her away before the wedding, but she wanted to kiss Susan in her wedding gown.
Susan presently saw a lovely bride, smiling in the depths of the mirror, and was glad for Billy"s sake that she looked "nice." Tall and straight, with sky-blue eyes shining under a crown of bright hair, with the new corsets setting off the lovely gown to perfection, her mother"s lace at her throat and wrists, and the rose-wreathed hat matching her cheeks, she looked the young and happy woman she was, stepping bravely into the world of loving and suffering.
The pretty gown must be gathered up safely for the little walk to church. "Are we all ready?" asked Susan, running concerned eyes over the group.
"Don"t worry about us!" said Philip. "You"re the whole show to-day!"
In a dream they were walking through the fragrant roads, in a dream they entered the unpretentious little church, and were questioned by the small Spanish s.e.xton at the door. No, that was Miss Carroll,--this was Miss Brown. Yes, everyone was here. The groom and his best man had gone in the other door. Who would give away the bride? This gentleman, Mr. Eastman, who was just now standing very erect and offering her his arm. Susan Ralston Brown--William Jerome Oliver--quite right. But they must wait a moment; the s.e.xton must go around by the vestry for some last errand.
The little organ wheezed forth a march; Susan walked slowly at Ferd Eastman"s side,--stopped,--and heard a rich Italian voice asking questions in a free and kindly whisper. The gentleman this side--and the lady here--so!
The voice suddenly boomed out loud and clear and rapid. Susan knew that this was Billy beside her, but she could not raise her eyes. She studied the pattern that fell on the red altar-carpet through a sun-flooded window. She told herself that she must think now seriously; she was getting married. This was one of the great moments of her life.
She raised her head, looked seriously into the kind old face so near her, glanced at Billy, who was very pale.
"I will," said Susan, clearing her throat. She reflected in a panic that she had not been ready for the question, and wondered vaguely if that invalidated her marriage, in the eyes of Heaven at least. Getting married seemed a very casual and brief matter. Susan wished that there was more form to it; pages, and heralds with horns, and processions.
What an awful carpet this red one must be to sweep, showing every speck! She and Billy had painted their floors, and would use rugs----
This was getting married. "I wish my mother was here!" said Susan to herself, perfunctorily. The words had no meaning for her.
They knelt down to pray. And suddenly Susan, whose ungloved hand, with its lilies-of-the-valley, had dropped by her side, was thrilled to the very depth of her being by the touch of Billy"s cold fingers on hers.
Her heart flooded with a sudden rushing sense of his goodness, his simplicity. He was marrying his girl, and praying for them both, his whole soul was filled with the solemn responsibility he incurred now.
She clung to his hand, and shut her eyes.
"Oh, G.o.d, take care of us," she prayed, "and make us love each other, and make us good! Make us good---"
She was deep in her prayer, eyes tightly closed, lips moving fast, when suddenly everything was over. Billy and she were walking down the aisle again, Susan"s ringed hand on the arm that was hers now, to the end of the world.
"Billy, you didn"t kiss her!" Betts reproached him in the vestibule.
"Didn"t I? Well, I will!" He had a fragrant, bewildered kiss from his wife before Anna and Mrs. Carroll and all the others claimed her.
Then they walked home, and Susan protested that it did not seem right to sit at the head of the flower trimmed table, and let everyone wait on her. She ran upstairs with Anna to get into her corduroy camping-suit, and dashing little rough hat, ran down for kisses and good-byes. Betsey--Mary Lou--Philip--Mary Lou again.
"Good-bye, adorable darling!" said Betts, laughing through tears.
"Good-bye, dearest," whispered Anna, holding her close.
"Good-bye, my own girl!" The last kiss was for Mrs. Carroll, and Susan knew of whom the mother was thinking as the first bride ran down the path.
"Well, aren"t they all darlings?" said young Mrs. Oliver, in the train.
"Corkers!" agreed the groom. "Don"t you want to take your hat off, Sue?"
"Well, I think I will," Susan said pleasantly. Conversation languished.
"Tired, dear?"
"Oh, no!" Susan said brightly.