"No," I say, grabbing the phone out of Billie"s hands.
"Excuse me?"
"No, Billie. I"ll move him out of the tavern but there is no way I"m giving him over to Ralph until the guy knows what he"s doing here and where he"s from. I"m putting my foot down."
"Why do you care so much, Lucy? He"s a stranger and not a nice one."
"Do you see how worried he looks right now? He"s scared, he"s hurt, and he doesn"t remember a d.a.m.n thing. He needs a night to sleep this off."
Billie lowers her eyes and sighs. I"m winning her over.
"I"m gonna offer him my sofa until he feels ready to leave."
"Oh, like h.e.l.l you are. Not happening."
"Listen. I"m giving him my sofa, and when he is better, we can figure out what to do next. But for now, you"re not going to call Ralph or anybody else."
"He could be dangerous, Lucy. That man is a patched member of a motorcycle club. Did you see his jacket? He"s not some recreational bike enthusiast, Lucy. He"s a gang member. He looks rough- His tattoos, his whole look, the fact he doesn"t want to go to the freaking hospital! He"s bad news, baby girl. And worse news for you."
"You"re reading too much into this. He"s just a guy who crashed his bike."
"Look, I"ve lived a little more than you have, young lady," she says. "You"ve been sheltered from how bad the world can be. I know how kind and loving you are and that you want to believe in people but trust me when I say that some people are born bad. Don"t get mixed up with his breed."
A fire sparks in me. "Don"t condescend me. I"m not as innocent as you think I am."
"Perhaps, but you are as nave. With your Catholic upbringing..." A lie I told. "...I"m looking out for you, Lucy. Your love for helping people is a beautiful quality but only when you use it with good judgement."
"I don"t wanna argue this anymore. If he"s not feeling better in the morning I"ll take him to hospital in the morning with Todd"s truck. I"ll be with him a few hours and if in that time I"m raped, murdered or otherwise then, well, you have my permission to write "I Told You So" on my tombstone. But, like I said, that"s not going to happen."
"I"m not the bad guy here, Lucy. Why the att.i.tude?"
I roll my eyes and scoff. My heart palpitates with frustration and I turn to leave. This is a weird place to find ourselves- we never argue, ever. It feels wrong.
"Lucy!"
"Leave me alone, Billie. I am a grown adult and you"re not my mother. He"s staying the night and if you call Ralph about this, I"m quitting."
I leave, shutting the office door behind me. In the tavern, Landon"s still sitting with his face in his hands. I make sure to step on one of the creaky floorboards to capture his attention.
He shoots awake, puffy eyed from the deep nap he must"ve drifted into. "You okay? I didn"t mean to scare you."
"Yeah, sweetheart. Just fell asleep."
I fall with a sigh beside him and kiss him gently on his head to give him some comfort. He leans back a little from me.
I turn my face away as it blooms a hot blush across my cheeks. "I...I don"t know why I did that." I have to stand up again and pace for a bit, pretending to rearrange some things on the walls like books and ornaments.
I hear him laugh a breathy laugh from behind me. "Landon, please don"t read into that."
"Hey, darlin". Don"t stress. It was sweet. Weird, sure, but sweet." He laughs again. "Nice to know someone cares." I inwardly scold myself.
Billie clears her throat to get my attention and reappears from the office, leading me a little away from Landon so he can"t hear us. "I have to go home now. Know that I don"t feel comfortable the way I"m leaving you right now. You two can stay here and I"ll know if you leave because I"ll check the security cameras. I"ll be back at six tomorrow."
"Billie, I"m an adult. This is on me."
"No, it"s not on you, actually. That blame would fall on me, your boss and best friend. Remember," she starts to lower her voice to a whisper, "there"s the gun in the safe. Or the kitchen knives...Oh, maybe I shouldn"t leave the knives out-"
"-He"s not a serial killer, Billie. He isn"t. He"s sweet and normal and not going to bring any harm to me, I promise."
"You got a crush on this dude or something?"
I twirl a strand of loose hair. "Pfft, yeah, that must be it," I tell her sarcastically. "That bad boy charm."
"I"ll text Todd for you and let him know what"s happening."
"No!" I hiss. "I mean...No, thank you. It"d only complicate things. Please don"t tell him."
"You need to be honest with him, baby girl. Don"t keep s.h.i.t like this from him. This is serious."
"We"re not together."
"Doesn"t matter. He cares about you."
"Well, I"ll tell him myself tomorrow."
"I"m letting him stay, I"m texting Todd so he doesn"t get a shock in the morning," she says, presenting her hands to me. "That"s the deal." She grabs her coat from the hook and before I can complain further she holds her fingertips to my lips. "Landon, I"m heading home so I"ll leave you both to be mature adults and figure out what we"re going to do with you. My cell will be on the whole night if you need anything, Lucy. You got it?"
"Thank you."
"Cheers for all your help, Billie. It"s real nice of you to let me stay." Landon sounds genuine in his sentiment.
"Mm-hm. I"ll see you in the morning."
She exits out the door, letting the cold evening breeze blow inside. I shiver.
Landon stands, stretching his one free arm then walks over to me. "Everything okay? You look upset."
"Billie can just be a little overprotective. Sorry for her whole att.i.tude."
"Hey, look. I will do my best to find a way to leave ASAP. I don"t wanna burden you with my vegetable brain too much longer."
"You really don"t remember anything at all? Do you? High school? Yesterday"s breakfast?"
Landon huffs to ease the tension and browses some wood-carved Californian animals on a shelf. "At this point, darlin", I know my head hurts, I lived in Portland, and I ride on that wreck of a bike we left out there..." He trails off. Something on his hand catches his attention instead. I can make out a silver ring on his thumb that he examines a while. "And... There"s a girl in my life named Mia... Mia Rossi." When he finishes talking, he looks at me and presents his hands as though to say "ta-da!". But his trick hasn"t impressed me, not one bit.
A girl.... A girlfriend?
My chest constricts. I turn my expression away from him to hide my shock. I"ve never experienced such sudden heartbreak. I"m such a short-sighted idiot! Why did I never consider the possibility that he moved on from us? But I"m a hypocrite. I was out here leading Todd along like one day we"d be dating... Trying to forget Landon existed...
Maybe I needed to crash a motorcycle.
"W-What sparked you remembering her?" I stammer.
"This f.u.c.kin" cheesy-as-s.h.i.t ring is engraved with her name."
My hands are visibly trembling and I have to hide them in the pockets of my jeans. I know if I try speak anymore, my words will come out shaky. This is a pain I can"t endure. I think of the two of them together, holding each other, telling her he loves her, maybe even talking about our secret. Would he lie to her about how much he loved me? Would he even mention me at all? I don"t know which would be worse.
"Well, who is she?"
"Think she"s my girlfriend... Or my wife. Ask me in the morning and maybe I"ll know," he replied, glancing down at his hand again, then back up to my face.
"Lucy? You"ve gone a little pale."
"Huh?"
"Never mind. I"m f.u.c.kin" sick of having all this attention on me. How "bout you tell me more about you?"
"I think you know most of it already," I say truthfully.
"Oh, really? So all there is to a fascinating woman like you is that your name is Lucy and you work in a tavern. Oh, and you"re very persistent in your caring of tall, dark, handsome strangers."
We make direct eye contact and it intimidates me. "Yep, that"s pretty much it."
"What"re you into then?"
"Into?" I say and move back to sit in the booth.
"Hobbies, interests, whatever you do when you"re not working."
"I mean, I paint and draw some. I hike."
"Oh yeah? What d"you paint?"
"Anything. Impressionist portraits lately but I do landscapes too and sketches and stupid little collages with leaves and things like that."
"I"d like to see them sometime."
I smile. "Pfft, good luck with that. I don"t exactly enjoy showing people my work."
"You sell "em?"
"Heck no," I say, wide-eyed. "I"m not quite up to that standard yet."
"Somehow, I think you"re underplaying yourself, Lucy." Landon joins me on the seat and puts his arm around the backrest behind me.
We talk some more. Despite his lack of memory, Landon still has that charm and engagement in conversation that makes you feel like every word you say is important. Ninety-percent of the conversation is about me and art and painting and hiking. Usually, that would terrify me to have so much attention on me but not with him. With him, speaking about myself feels cathartic and significant.
I look up at the clock to see it"s now three o"clock in the morning.
"You wanna sleep?" Landon asks me softly. I shake my head. "Good." His mouth parts to say something more but he backs off.
"What?"
"It"s...it"s nothin"."
"Go on, say it."
He purses his lips and lifts his eyes to mine. "Forgive me for how f.u.c.kin" weird this sounds but can I just say I feel better when I talk to you." His sincerity intimidates me. I lighten the mood with a soft punch of his arm and a playful "shut up".
"I"m serious."
He smiles again and the conversation continues, this time moving over other topics Landon seems to have no problem remembering... Harleys, Portland, and "Would you rather...?" type questions.
It"s here in the dim amber glow of the tavern, laughing at Landon"s jokes, getting lost in his eyes, and feeling his breath near me that I find myself torn in two, utterly conflicted. I almost have him back...
And I don"t know how I"ll ever let him go again.
5.
"Wakey, wakey, gorgeous." I nudge Lucy, who"s asleep on my thigh. She groans a while then wakes to look up at me.
"Wakey, woken," she tells me with a sleepy smile. "The alarm has spoken."
Her innocence is endearing.
I chuckle. "Wow. Someone get this girl a spot at slam poetry night." For that, I receive a whack into my ribs from a sleepily disgruntled Lucy. She"s made me genuinely smile for the first time in who knows how long. I appreciate her for it.
She sits up slowly and rubs her face. I won"t lie that I"m a little taken aback by how calm she seems to waking up where she has. Doesn"t last long though. The reality of the situation hits her and she quickly stands up to back away from me.
"s.h.i.t," she says to the far wall then turns her head back to me. "Landon?"
"Unless you"ve got a new name for me today, then yeah." My memory"s still cloudy and I"m p.i.s.sed about it after three hours of uncomfortable rest. With a sigh, Lucy heads toward the bar to pour herself a gla.s.s of a water.
She watches me a moment then c.o.c.ks her head. "How"s your, uh, your head today?"
I have this persistent migraine I know ain"t a good sign but I have no choice but to endure it for now. Lucy can"t find out about it. "Better."
"And your memory?"
I think of last week to what I go up to. Blank. I try to think of my parents" names. Again, nothing. Where I went to high school...Where I work...h.e.l.l, even my favorite movie. It"s all white noise. "f.u.c.kin" wrecked, Lucy, if you"ll excuse my French." I hope to G.o.d this Mia girl"s out there looking for me "cos ain"t a chance in h.e.l.l I can find my way home in this state.