Something darker. Something more heated. Something that I wasn"t sure if it terrified me, or if it gave me the greatest thrill I"d ever known.
Whatever it was, it couldn"t have been appropriate. I removed my hand from his grasp and used it to brush my hair out of my face. "I"m fine," I lied, sighing as the offending strand fell back into my eyes only a moment later.
Preston lifted his hand then, the same one he"d used to hold mine, and swept my hair back into place for me this time. His fingertips trailed down the side of my neck when he did so and I felt him leave gooseb.u.mps in his wake.
"I"ll walk you up," he said. It wasn"t a question.
I stepped out of the car, sucking in a breath of reality. Everything that had happened inside of it seemed laughably strange now, and I was reminded of my situation all-too-clearly once we began to mount the stairs. Obviously, I"d just been desperate for some kindness, which Preston had provided. I was in a low place, and I"d let my emotional needs get the better of me. He was my stepbrother, or he soon would be, and there was no way anything romantic was happening between us. The poor guy was probably wondering what the h.e.l.l kind of damaged goods he was letting into his family with the way I"d just behaved.
When we stopped on my stoop, Preston turned to me. The sunlight filtering in past the awning was enough to make his eyes look green. "Got your keys?"
I held up my cheap ten-dollar clutch, the only bag I owned, and smiled faintly. "Got "em. Thank you again for lunch. And for driving me. And... well, for listening to me b.i.t.c.h for an hour." I forced a laugh.
Preston smiled. "I hope it won"t be for the last time. In fact, I was hoping that we could do this again. Maybe after the weekend"s over?"
I wasn"t sure what to say. It was true that I"d had a nice time with him, but I had so much to worry about now that I wasn"t sure I could commit to another rendezvous, if that was the word for it.
"Look, Preston... I know for you, this isn"t a big deal, but I don"t have any options or money. I"ll be lucky to find a job before the month"s over. That"s what I have to focus on now. Keeping this place, as much of a s.h.i.t hole as it is, and putting food on my table. Those have to be my priorities. You understand, don"t you?"
He nodded slowly. "Of course I do. But I do want to see you again, and Monday would be best."
I put my key in the door to open it. "I"ll try to find a way." It was the best I could offer him.
As I stepped inside, Preston put his hand on the door to keep me from closing it. Then he presented me with an offer of his own.
"That"s the thing, though, Maddy. I want to see you Monday in my office. I want you to be my new PA."
I turned around and stared at him. I was sure my jaw was dangling open, but the shock of it had left me so numb that I could have been on fire and would have missed it. "You"re... serious?"
He nodded, leaning against the doorframe with another wolfish grin. "Absolutely. You"ve got the qualifications. You have a great work history, I"m sure. And I"m in need of a new girl anyway. You can start first thing on Monday after you"ve taken some time to relax over the weekend. In fact..." He reached into his pocket and took out a checkbook. "I"m happy to offer you a signing bonus for accepting the job on such short notice. What do you say, Maddy-how does a bit of good, old-fashioned nepotism sound to you?"
I could hardly believe what he was saying. My entire life, family had been a distant notion for me. It was something I barely entertained as worthwhile, something I"d grown to consider as simply the framework for one"s genetic ident.i.ty. My mother hadn"t so much raised me as reared and resented me, and my father had barely known me when he took off with some other woman, leaving me in the dust of his memories. I"d never seen so much as a birthday card from him in all the years he"d been gone. I had no idea if he was even still alive.
Everything I"d ever wanted, I"d had to get myself or go without. There were no exceptions. When all the other kids were having birthday parties, I was sitting at home thankful that my mother had bothered to prepare my favorite dinner. Presents were few and far between and came mainly from aunts and uncles, which my mother always derided as "spoiling" me. The only gift I remembered her giving me was a dragonfly broach when I was nine, and I"d treasured it fiercely right up until the moment I"d found out she"d regifted it to me after receiving it from a friend. I was only worth her trash, her leavings, and after that, the broach had sparkled a little less for me.
But now Preston, a man I hardly knew, a brother in name only-and that wasn"t even official yet-was writing me a check on my stoop and ready to give me so much more than that. He was offering me peace of mind, prosperity, and a way out of the dismal h.e.l.l hole I"d spent so much of my life in. For the first time, a family member wanted to take care of me, and I had no earthly idea what to do.
Preston must have seen my confusion, because he handed me the check with his business card attached and waved his hand. "Don"t answer now. Just come in Monday. If you"re not interested, at least we can have another lunch together. If you are, we"ll get started right away."
"I don"t understand," I whispered, staring at the mult.i.tude of zeroes tacked on to the check. My hands were shaking. "You must want something in return...?"
Preston"s face fell. He looked almost as bewildered as I felt. He shook his head very slowly, looking right in my eyes as he said, "Just your happiness, Maddy. That is the only thing I could want."
Then he left me, closing the door while I stood in the entryway, still gazing down at the ten thousand dollar check in my hands. He"d given me a lot to think about.
Stepbrother Fixation
The whole drive home, I couldn"t help but to think about Maddy.
She had looked so utterly confused when I"d handed her that check, like she had no idea what simple kindness was. Given who her mother was, I could see why, but it had hit me harder than antic.i.p.ated. Had she never had anyone stick up for her before? Had no one ever helped her up when she"d fallen down?
I couldn"t imagine a world like that, or at least, not in that sense. I"d always had people around to attend to every whim and desire, except for my father, who could barely entertain my mere presence at times. In that way, I knew what it was like to have a parent who seemingly hated you, who was always disappointed and never uttered a word of praise. Whenever I did well by his impossible standards, there was only relief on his face, never pride. I"d given up on attempting to sway my father"s opinion of me a long time ago, but I realized that not everyone had that luxury.
Maddy seemed like such a strong girl. When she wasn"t crying, I could see this fire in her eyes. When she snapped at me, I could hear that same flame in her voice. There was one h.e.l.l of a woman deep down in there, but it was hard to see when she"d had such an impenetrable cage built around herself.
That wasn"t her fault, of course. She was the victim of those with power, the ones like my father who chose to hurt people instead of using his immense wealth to make them better. She"d only ever been able to spread her wings as far as her circ.u.mstances would allow.
But I wanted to change that. I wanted to set Maddy free and see her full potential. Something inside me told me that if I did, it would be impossibly beautiful.
It was strange, though, that I cared so much. I wasn"t a heartless b.a.s.t.a.r.d like my father was, but it was rare for me to get attached to anyone, let alone a woman. There was something about knowing you could have any girl you wanted that made the whole game feel less interesting, but something about Maddy was... different. Maybe it was because she was forbidden fruit, or maybe I really did give a s.h.i.t about family. Whatever it was, I could feel her hooks in me. I wanted more.
I thought about her as the miles ticked by. I thought about her as I waited for the gate to open at my own house. I thought about her as I walked inside, and I thought about her right up until the moment I smelled the most amazing aroma drifting in from the kitchen.
I followed that scent like a bloodhound, my stomach rumbling all the way. Carla, my housekeeper, must have been cooking. The variety of spices was like inhaling a symphony, and my mouth watered as I imagined all the meals she might be making. She was a G.o.dd.a.m.n artist in the kitchen, and from what I could smell of whatever she was making, this was her masterpiece. Sure, I"d already ate, but that wasn"t going to stop me from indulging myself a second time.
I felt every muscle in my body relaxed the nearer I came to that delicious scent. I tossed my blazer and laptop bag on the sofa as I pa.s.sed it, loosening a few b.u.t.tons on my shirt as I rounded the corner into the kitchen, already rolling up my sleeves to prepare for whatever sauce I could hear boiling on the stovetop.
"G.o.dd.a.m.n, Carla, that smells-"
I stopped so suddenly that I was sure my organs would fly right out of my body. As it was, my stomach had dropped to my feet. It took several seconds for the sight before me to register, and when it did, it made no more sense than when I"d first walked in and seen it.
Carla was, as antic.i.p.ated, standing in my kitchen and slaving over a hot stove. She had her dark, frizzy hair pulled back into a bun and her olive skin was aglow with a light sheen of sweat. Her ap.r.o.n was stained where she"d repeatedly wiped her coa.r.s.e, calloused hands and from the way her back was bent, I could tell she"d had a rough day.
But that wasn"t what surprised me. What did was the person standing next to her, a person who didn"t belong in my house, and certainly not when I wasn"t here.
"Jane, what the h.e.l.l?"
She turned to me, beaming so brightly it was almost blinding. She had her long, auburn hair braided down her back, and under Carla"s watchful eye, she was adding sweet Marsala to a pan.
"Hey, baby," she said. The very sound of it made me cringe. "I thought I"d surprise you. Carla"s teaching me how to cook-it"s veal Marsala. I figured after such a hard day at work, you needed to come home and have a nice, hot meal waiting for you."
I caught Carla looking at me out of the corner of her eye. She didn"t look happy. I knew her pain.
"Carla usually takes care of that for me," I said, rubbing the back of my neck in the hope of making my anger dissipate. "That was a nice thought, though, Jane. I just wish you"d told me you were coming over. This is... a surprise."
Jane smiled sweetly. "That"s the point, silly." Then she left the stove-and any pretense of learning to cook-and crossed the room to me, sliding her hands up my shirt.
"When you didn"t come back to the office, I thought something might be wrong. I tried texting you, but you didn"t respond. Didn"t you get my pictures?" She looked up at me. "Was something wrong?"
There was a hint of an accusation in her voice. Jane wasn"t good at hiding her emotions. I looked at her, gently taking her wrists in my hands to move her away from my body.
It didn"t work. She only entwined her fingers with mine, swinging her arms gently as I sighed.
"Yes, actually. It"s my sister. She got fired from her job, and she needed someone to talk to and drive her home."
Jane arched one of her perfectly-coiffed brows. "Sister? You never told me anything about a sister..."
"That"s because she isn"t my sister yet. Her mother is marrying my father. We"ll be stepsiblings in just a few months, though I think it"s fair to start using the t.i.tle now."
Jane didn"t look convinced. I could feel her hands growing cold in mine. "So... you"re not siblings yet. Then she"s just a woman you drove back to her apartment instead of coming back to the office to f.u.c.k me?"
I looked over at Carla. If she"d heard what Jane had said, she didn"t show it, and for that I was thankful.
I took Jane by the arm as gently as I could and pulled her out of the kitchen and into the hallway.
"You"re being ridiculous," I told her, keeping my voice low. "First, you already know that we"re not f.u.c.king again. Second, Madison is practically family. And unlike me, she doesn"t come from money, so losing her job is a pretty big deal."
"Doesn"t she have any friends?" Jane asked, wrenching out of my grasp. "Someone else she could call on instead of her "big brother?"" The way she put the words in air quotes made me want to break her fingers.
"No. She has no one. Her mother is... well, her mother is the kind of person who wouldn"t give a burning man a gla.s.s of water. In fact, she"d probably use him to light her cigarette and complain about the smell."
I smiled to myself. It was no wonder my father liked her. Those two had so much in common.
"The point is that I was the only one she could turn to. Besides, we ran into each other by accident. I had no idea I was going to see her today."
"Uh huh," Jane said, folding her arms across her chest. The kimono-style top she was wearing left very little to the imagination, and the pushup bra she had on underneath it ensured that her cleavage was practically touching her chin. I remembered the first time I"d gotten a glimpse of those beautiful b.r.e.a.s.t.s. It was funny how I couldn"t give two s.h.i.ts about them now. "You could have told me, you know."
"Jane," I said as calmly as I could, "I know you have expectations of what this... thing we had going on between us was. But you aren"t my girlfriend. We ended this. I don"t owe you anything."
"See," she said, taking a step toward me, "that"s where you"re wrong..."
I stepped back into the wall as Jane approached, sliding her body up against mine like a cat in heat. I could feel her taut stomach stretching over my abs as she purred, one hand sliding up over my shoulder as the other delved down between my legs.
"Jane," I started, but she cut me off.
"Shh. Easy there, big guy. You"ve had a rough day. Family drama. I get it." She rubbed me through my slacks, and for a moment, a ripple of pleasure pulsed through me. "You"ve had all kinds of unexpected things happen to you today. How about we make this one a good one?"
She began working my belt, trying to slip the tongue through the buckle. Despite my own desires-or lack thereof-I could feel myself hardening at her touch. Jane could feel it, too. She had that look in her eye, that smugness that always came over her face when she knew she had won.
Except she hadn"t won. Not this time. And as she tried to tug my pants down past my waist, I grabbed her arms again and gently pushed her away. "Stop. Christ, what were you going to do, blow me right here in the hallway?"
Jane licked her lips and grinned. "If that"s what you want..."
"It"s not," I said. "This isn"t something you can fix by putting my c.o.c.k in your mouth..." I let her go and set about fixing my zipper. "We"re not doing this anymore."
She stared. "What does that mean?"
"It means that you showed up in my house uninvited, hara.s.sed my housekeeper, and then interrogated me about what I was doing with my sister. You"re not my girlfriend, Jane. You"re not even my f.u.c.k buddy. You"re my personal a.s.sistant. This is wildly inappropriate, and I think you should leave."
Jane looked at me for a long time, a longer amount of time than I was comfortable with. Every second that ticked by, the air in the hall seemed to become thicker, colder, like the intensity of her glare was sapping the life right out of me. I was sure I"d find the house plants wilting later when I walked into the living room.
But I held her gaze. Maddy was right. Jane had crossed a line-again-and things weren"t going to get any better until I stood my ground.
"Fine," she said. I hated that word, especially coming from her mouth. "I"m not your girlfriend. Whatever. I"m just the girl you f.u.c.k at your desk when you"re having a bad day, I guess."
"You drugged my coffee and handcuffed me to the chair!" I shouted indignantly. Sure, I"d hired her because I wanted to get into her skirt, but the way it happened wasn"t exactly what I had in mind.
"I didn"t hear you complaining," she replied, the anger evident as she turned away.
She was right, I hadn"t complained at the time. h.e.l.l, I"d liked it. Jane was nuts, but she breathed a little excitement into my life. Trouble is, she didn"t understand boundaries and her ever-escalating s.e.xual escapades had started to become even more dangerous. Sooner or later, our little office romance was going to bite me in the a.s.s. I was trying to put an end to it for good reasons.
She walked back into the kitchen, grabbed her purse off the back of one of the kitchen island chairs, and came storming back down the hall toward me. The sounds her heels made on the tiled floor were like bones snapping. They gave me the shivers.
She swept past me and toward the foyer, but not before calling over her shoulder, "I guess you"re only worried about being inappropriate when there"s other people around, because when we"re alone, stuffing your d.i.c.k in my mouth is totally fine!"
"Not when I catch you hiding under my desk right before a regional board meeting!"
"You could have stopped me," Jane said.
"I am stopping you Jane, we"re not doing this again. This is over. This has been over for weeks and the sooner you get that through your head, the better. I don"t want you in my house, I don"t want you in my bed, and I don"t want you in my f.u.c.king office. We"re done Jane. Don"t bother coming to work tomorrow, I"ll mail you a severance package."
Maddy"s words were echoing in my head as I put the nail in this relationship. She was right, if I was going to end this I couldn"t leave a shred of hope... even if it hurt.
"You"re not going to f.u.c.k me, and now you"re firing me? We"ll see about that," Jane said coldly, slamming the door behind her and ending any chance at getting the last word on the matter. The sonic boom she left behind mingled with her words as they echoed through my house.
I sighed, rubbing my face with my hands. "She"s insane," I mumbled, trying to make my d.i.c.k forget about the warmth of her hands, the gentle press of her chest against mine. "She"s utterly f.u.c.king insane."
"You"re telling me," Carla said, and I looked up to see her standing in the archway to the kitchen down the hall. "If I"d known what I was getting into, I would have never opened the door."
"Sorry, Carla," I said. "I had no idea. It won"t happen again."
She eyed me harshly. "She"s really not your girlfriend?"
"No," I answered with a rueful laugh. "Dear G.o.d, no."
She nodded slowly. "Hm. Better figure out some way to let her know that. She don"t seem to listen so good."
"Thanks, Carla," I said, listening as her footfalls took her back to the stove.
I took a detour into the living room, grabbed a bottle of vermouth from behind the bar, and made myself a martini, but all the alcohol in the world couldn"t drown the sick feeling Jane had left me with that evening. Things were getting worse between us. She was pushing even harder for us to legitimize things, and in a way that reminded me of Fatal Attraction, or for that matter, Misery.
I shuddered at the thought and took another swig. As good as that veal Marsala had smelled on my way in, my stomach turned now at knowing that Jane had had a hand in it.
It was time for Jane to go. I needed Madison to take me up on my offer, and I needed her to do it soon.
Stepbrother Fixation