Say and Seal

Chapter 78

"Dr. Harrison,"--she said when they were in a quiet part of the way, with n.o.body near, "may I speak to you about something?--that perhaps you won"t like?"

"You can speak of nothing I should not like--to hear," he said with gentle a.s.surance.

"Dr. Harrison--" said Faith, speaking as if the recollection touched her,--"when you and I were thrown out in that meadow the other day and came so near losing our lives--if the _almost_ had been _quite_, if we had both been killed,--_I_ should have been safe and well, I believe.--How would it have been with you?"

Dr. Harrison looked at her.

"If I had gone in your company," he said, "I think it would hardly have been ill with me."

"Do you know so little as that?"--she said, in such a tone of sorrow and pity as might have suited one of the "ministering spirits" she had been likened to.

"I don"t think I am as good as you are," the doctor said with a face not unmoved.

"Good!" said Faith. "What do you mean by goodness, Dr. Harrison?"

"I shall have the worst of it if I try to go into definitions again,"

he said smiling. "I think you will find what I mean, in consulting your own thoughts."

"Goodness?" said Faith again. "Do you remember the silver scale-armour of that Lepisma, Dr. Harrison? _That_ is perfection. That is what G.o.d means by goodness--not the outside things that every eye, or your own, can see;--but when the far-down, far-back thoughts and imaginations of your heart will bear _such_ looking at and be found faultless! Less than that, G.o.d will not take from you, if you are going to heaven by your own goodness."

He looked at her. They had changed sides; and as fearless now as he, _she_ was the speaker, and he had little to say.

"I don"t know much about these things, Miss Faith," he answered soberly.

"I don"t know much, Dr. Harrison," she said humbly. "But think what you were near the other day."

"I don"t know!"--said he, as if making a clean breast of it. She paused.

"Dr. Harrison, will a wise man leave such a matter in uncertainty?"

"I am not wise," said he. "I am ignorant--in this."

"You know you need not remain so."

"That is not so certain! I have seen so much--of what you have seen so little, my dear Miss Derrick, that you can scarce understand how light the weight of most people"s testimony is to me."

"But there is the testimony of one higher," said Faith. "There is G.o.d"s own word?"

"I don"t know it."

"_Won"t_ you know it, sir?"

"I will do anything you ask me in that voice," he said smiling at her.

"But after all one reads people and people"s _professions_, miss Faith;--and they make the first impression."

"I dare say it is often not true," said Faith sadly.

"_You_ are true," said he; "and you may say to me what you will, on this subject or any other, and I will believe it."

They walked a little distance in silence.

"What are you thinking of?" said the doctor in a very gentle accent of inquiry.

"I am sorry--very sorry for you, Dr. Harrison."

"Why?" said he taking her hand.

"Because it seems to me you are not caring in earnest about this matter."

He kissed the hand, without asking permission. But it was done with a grateful warm expression of feeling.

"I will do whatever you tell me to do!" he said.

How Faith wished she could send him to another adviser! But that she could not.

"Tell me," he repeated. "I will do it." The look and tone were earnest, moved, and warm; she had hardly seen the like in Dr. Harrison before.

"Then, Dr. Harrison, I wish you would read the Bible, with the determination to do what you find there you ought."

"I will," he said smiling. "And if I get into difficulty you must help me."

The rest of the way was extremely pleasant, after that; only it seemed to Faith that they met all the world! First there was Cecilia Deacon, whose eyes took good note, she thought, of both the walkers from head to foot. Then they met at intervals every one of Faith"s Sunday school scholars; for every one of whom she had a glad greeting and word which she must stop for, somewhat to the doctor"s amused edification. Miss Bezac happened, of all people, to be going up street when they were going down; and her eyes looked rather with some wistful gravity upon the pair, for all her pleasant nods to both. Then Mrs. Somers.

"Well I think you are _Faith!_"--was her brisk remark,--"or faith_less_--which is it? Julius, I heard a remarkable story about you yesterday."

"Aunt Ellen--I like to hear remarkable stories. Especially about anything remarkable."

"Well this isn"t one of that sort," said Mrs. Somers.

"I am sure you said--However, let"s have it, of any sort."

"I heard you had your pocket picked of a good opportunity," said Mrs.

Somers. "Does Mr. Linden expect to be out next week, Faith?"

"I believe Dr. Harrison will not let him, Mrs. Somers."

A little unverbalized sound answered that, and Mrs. Somers said good evening and walked on. Faith thought that was the end, as they were near her own door. But Dr. Harrison followed her in; and entering the sitting-room, Faith found that her meetings were not over. There was no less a person than Mrs. Stoutenburgh, and there also, regaling her eyes and ears, were Mrs. Derrick and Mr. Linden.

Mrs. Stoutenburgh was a fair, pretty, curly-haired woman, a good deal younger than the Squire, intensely devoted to her own family, and very partial to Mr. Linden--whom she had taken under her wing (figuratively) from his first coming to Pattaqua.s.set. The first sound Faith heard as she opened the door was Mrs. Stoutenburgh"s merry laugh at some remark of his--then the lady jumped up and came towards her.

"My dear Faith, how do you do?--Dr. Harrison--I half said I would never speak to you again! Faith, how can you trust yourself with him for one minute?"

"Mrs. Stoutenburgh," said the doctor,--"I half thought I would shoot myself!"

"I guess that"s as near as you"ll come to it, on purpose," said Mrs.

Stoutenburgh. "You needn"t think I shall forget it--whenever I want Faith to come and see me I shall tell Mr. Linden to bring her. He"s safe--or supposed to be," she added laughingly.

"I hope that"s as near to it as I shall ever come on purpose, or _otherwise_, Mrs. Stoutenburgh!" said the doctor. "I think you should judge me safer than Mr. Linden,--as appearances go."

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