Ellie stood and stripped. When she rejoined him on the bed, he rolled until she was beneath him. Skin on skin, heat on heat. This was what his body demanded. Her hand slid down his abs until she stroked his erection. Anxious to get started, it pulsed in her palm.
He gripped her wrist. "Let"s slow this down a little."
"Says the man who isn"t used to having kids around." Ellie reached down and cupped his b.a.l.l.s. His hips surged toward her. "Our time is limited. I can guarantee you"ll be summoned just when things are getting good."
The truth in her statement rang in his heart. "Things are already pretty good, but indulge me, just for a few minutes." He wanted, needed to savor her so he could remember these moments in the lonely hours when he returned to Afghanistan.
He slid down her body. The salty, sweet tang of her skin drove all thoughts save her from his mind. Moving down her belly, he licked and tasted. The pitch of her moans guided him to her sweet spot. Her body arced. Her hands reached for his head. A primitive and shameless groan made his erection throb. Her fingers tightened on his scalp. He wanted this moment to last for as long as possible, but she was right. Their time was limited.
With a heavy feeling that almost felt like regret, he opened the condom and sheathed himself. He moved up the bed. One hand slid between her legs, testing.
"Grant." Ellie wrapped her legs around his waist. Her whisper was breathless and urgent in his ear. "Now. Please. I"m more than ready for you."
He nudged inside her, intending to be gentle. But pleasure flooded him, and his body surged into her without input from his brain. She bowed backward.
"I"m sorry."
"Why did you stop?" She arched, her heels digging into his a.s.s, pulling him even deeper.
"I thought I"d hurt you." He panted, his muscles shaking with the effort of holding still.
"Obviously not." Her hips moved beneath him. "Now stop thinking. That"s an order."
"Yes, ma"am." He pulled back and surged forward again. Her body tightened around him as if it couldn"t get enough.
Her eyes widened. Her pupils dilated. "Grant." His name was a moan from her lips. "More."
Levering his torso on his hands, he swung his hips forward. Her body bent backward. Her nails dug into his shoulders. His body, his need, took over, increasing the speed and urgency of his motions. She kept pace, her hips thrusting to meet him, their bodies locked into a natural rhythm.
Ellie"s limbs tensed. Her eyes closed, and a guttural sound emanated from her lips. She clamped around him, and he let go. Pleasure shot through his spine as he surged into her one final time. Ellie wrapped her body around him, riding out the pulsing wave of their joint pleasure.
Grant"s arms gave out, and he collapsed on top of her. She eased her legs from around his waist. He planted a kiss on the corner of her mouth. "Thank you."
"I think I should be thanking you." Her words were light, but her eyes were worried. "Next time you say you need room to maneuver, I"ll be more than happy to comply."
Knowing there likely wouldn"t be a next time turned the moment bittersweet, but Grant refused to let go of this small happiness. She"d just given him a gift. Soul-cleansing freedom from the grief that had been strangling his heart for days. Ellie"s warm body was better than any therapy, but their afternoon was fleeting. As she"d said before, their time was limited. "I remember the first time I saw you."
"The barbecue."
"Yes. You were wearing a yellow sundress. Your legs were tan. I couldn"t take my eyes off of you. If I hadn"t been shipping out . . ."
Ellie cupped his jaw. Her eyes were moist. She pulled his head down and kissed him tenderly on the lips. Grant"s heart swelled until it threatened to burst from his chest. It was too much, too fast, and the timing was all wrong. But he could be happy with nothing more than Ellie in his life.
"I"ll be right back." He eased off her body and went into the bathroom. He"d dispose of the condom quickly and return to her bed. But when he walked back into the bedroom, ready to flop down on the mattress and enjoy her naked body, she was sitting up. His cell phone was in her hand.
"You have a message." She held the phone out to him.
Remembering the previous text, his grief and anxiety returned in an instant flood, almost as if their lovemaking had never occurred.
The message was from Hannah. The baby and Carson were both awake, and Hannah was needed on a conference call.
Disappointment flushed through Grant. No time for posts.e.x intimacies. Those few minutes-way too few-with Ellie had energized him. They"d shown him what could be, and because of that, it could never happen again. He wouldn"t want to leave her when the time came. And he didn"t want to get used to something he was going to give up.
"Do you have everything you need?" Grant reached for his socks. "That was Hannah. We need to get back."
"All right." She pointed to his calf. "What"s that?"
"Shrapnel." Grant brushed his hand over the patch of gray b.u.mps below a burn scar on his lower leg, where tiny bits of metal had been embedded since his first tour in Iraq.
"They just left it in there?"
"Doctor said they"d do more damage trying to dig it out than leaving it alone. It"s been in there for years." He shrugged. "I know it"s ugly, but it doesn"t hurt."
She reached for his shoulder and turned him away from her. He felt her finger lightly trace the puckered pink scar on his back. "And this?"
"Bullet. Also Iraq."
He turned back to her and took her hands. "Now you see why I didn"t want you to get attached to me."
Instead of answering, she leaned closer and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.
"We"d better go." Moving away from him, she dressed.
With a fresh wound in his heart, Grant did the same. He stuffed his feet into his boots and picked up her bag of clothes. Ellie locked up as they left the house. He scanned the street, looking for any signs of surveillance. Was Hoodie Man, as Ellie called him, watching right now? He hadn"t relied on GPS technology alone. The picture he"d sent to Ellie clearly showed he"d also been doing personal surveillance. But tonight, Grant didn"t see or feel any eyes on him. A few cars were parked along the street. No signs of occupation, but he made a note to do another check later. He"d had enough waiting for the police to do things legally. Grant"s leave was ticking away. He needed this situation settled and his family and Ellie"s safe before he returned to the army.
He"d been formulating a plan. Tomorrow, he was putting it into action. They went out onto the porch. A silver Mercedes sedan was parked out front.
"Who is that?" Ellie asked.
"Boston plates. Must be Kate"s parents." Grant hustled across the front yard. "I hope calling them wasn"t a big mistake."
Chapter Thirty-Two.
Ellie followed Grant into the house. An older couple stood in the foyer. Hannah was taking coats and hanging them in the closet.
"These are Kate"s parents, Bill and Stella Sheridan." Hannah introduced Grant and Ellie. "Let"s go back to the kitchen. I just made coffee."
Bill was tall, with a thick head of silver hair, blue eyes, and a slight stoop. His thin wife had a gray bob cut precisely to swing at her chin, pointy and angular as her face. They were well-dressed in slacks and sweaters.
Stella frowned at the peeling wallpaper in the hall. In the kitchen, Hannah set out mugs and coffee on the table. The baby stirred, making a fussy sound. The Sheridans crossed the floor and stopped in front of Faith"s baby seat.
"That"s your granddaughter, Faith." Grant squatted and released the harness. He lifted the baby and turned her to face the Sheridans.
Stella reached a tentative hand and touched Faith"s chubby thigh. "Babies should take naps in their cribs."
"She"s colicky," Grant said.
Stella shook her head. "Babies need routine, Major. Put her in her crib and leave her be. She"ll cry for a while, but she"ll soon learn to be independent. If you coddle her, she"ll never learn that the world doesn"t revolve around her. I understand there"s an older child as well?"
"Yes. Carson is six. He"s taking a nap." Hannah measured formula.
"I imagine this has been an awful week for him." Stella lowered her hand from Faith"s leg. Was Kate"s mother nervous? She"d never seen her grandchildren. How many regrets was Mrs. Sheridan battling behind her gray eyes?
"He"s having a rough time." Grant"s brow creased. Hannah handed him a bottle, and he settled at the table with Faith in the crook of his arm. The Sheridans sat across from him. Ellie contemplated backing out of the room and giving the family privacy, but the grief in Grant"s eyes pulled her to him. Ellie took the chair next to him, pressing her leg against his. He shot her a grateful look.
Bill ignored the coffee Hannah set in front of him. "When is the funeral being planned?"
Grant shifted the baby to his shoulder and burped her. "We haven"t made plans yet. The medical examiner just released their bodies a couple of hours ago."
Remembering Grant"s tight hold on her as he slept in her bed, Ellie"s heart clenched. He hadn"t told her. Didn"t he trust her? He"d lied to her yesterday about where he was going with Mac. Was he holding anything else back?
"What about the children? What plans have been made for them?"
Grant cleared his throat. "We haven"t made any decisions yet."
"What are the options?" Stella interlaced her fingers and leaned her forearms on the table. "Are either of you married?" Her gaze shifted between Hannah and Grant.
"No," Grant admitted. "Why didn"t you speak to Kate over the years?"
"Kate made her decision. She rejected us." Stella"s cheeks flushed. "We all made mistakes. Now we"ve no opportunity to rectify them. Something I will regret until the day I die." She placed her palms on the table. "Major, it seems to me that the best option for those children is for us to raise them. We have sufficient income to ensure they get the best care and private education. We know an excellent child psychologist, and we"ve already made inquiries to find a qualified nanny. They won"t want for anything."
Except affection, thought Ellie, but she kept her mouth shut. This wasn"t any of her business. The Sheridans didn"t appear mean, just standoffish. But Carson craved physical contact. Ellie couldn"t imagine either of the Sheridans cuddling with him after a nightmare.
"I think you should meet Carson before we discuss any long term plans." Grant said.
Stella nodded. She didn"t have to wait long. Carson appeared, sleepy and rumpled, in the kitchen doorway. Grant pa.s.sed the baby to Hannah, and Carson climbed onto Grant"s lap.
"Carson, these are your grandparents," Grant said.
"h.e.l.lo, Carson. It"s nice to meet you." Stella reached out and touched his arm. "You look like your mommy when she was little."
Carson curled a hand around his lips and leaned close to Grant"s ear. "I don"t know her."
Grant patted him on the back. "It"s OK."
Bill cleared his throat. His eyes were misty. "You can call us Grandma and Grandpa if you like."
Carson turned his face into Grant"s chest and wound his arms around his uncle"s neck.
Stella pulled a tissue from her pocket and blotted her eyes. "Why don"t we come back tomorrow, after he"s had some time to adjust to the idea?"
"I think that"s a good idea." Grant stood, with Carson still in his arms.
Ellie put a hand on the ache in her chest. How would it feel to be estranged from a child for more than a decade and have her die violently before you could make amends?
"Remember our offer," Stella said.
"As I said before, we haven"t made any decisions yet." Grant rose, patting Faith on the back. They escorted the Sheridans to the foyer. Hannah fetched their coats.
"Children need stability." Bill held his wife"s coat. "Please keep that in mind."
Stella paused in the doorway. "We"re staying at a bed-and-breakfast." She handed Grant a card. "I"ve written my cell phone number on the back. Please call if you decide on a funeral date."
Grant closed the door after them. Mac came down the steps. "Who"s hungry?"
"Me." Carson lifted his head from Grant"s shoulder. He set the boy down, and Carson followed Mac down the hall into the kitchen.
Hannah rested her cheek on Faith"s head. "Not the most demonstrative pair of grandparents."
"Our family is hardly perfect. We"ve barely seen each other in the past few years."
"I don"t know." Hannah shook her head. "Carson didn"t seem too keen on her, and she didn"t ask to hold the baby."
"She"s had a shock. I imagine she always thought there"d be time to reconcile with Kate. And now there isn"t." Grant sighed. "Maybe it"s just as well they weren"t too pushy. I"m not sure he"s ready. He doesn"t ask about the future. He can barely get through today." Was Grant talking about Carson or himself? "He"ll warm up to them."
Hannah stopped and stared at him. "You can"t be thinking of letting those people raise the kids? Or maybe I should say, letting their hired help raise the kids."
Ellie agreed with Hannah, but this was the Barretts" decision, not hers, though her heart broke for Carson. The little boy was attached to Grant. Ellie could relate. She didn"t want to think about Grant leaving.
"I don"t know," Grant said. "Are you prepared to quit your job? I"ll be in Afghanistan for at least another month, and it wouldn"t surprise me if my deployment gets extended. It usually does. I could end up overseas until fall. Mac is headed for South America. What else are we going to do?"
Ellie washed out the baby"s bottle and put it in the dishwasher. Grant leaned back against the counter next to her. He hadn"t shaved today. The blond scruff on his jaw made her think of their lovemaking. She"d never experienced anything that intense-or sweet. Her face heated. She tugged her turtleneck higher, making sure the faint beard burn on her neck was covered.
She turned and leaned toward him, then stopped midmotion. She"d been leaning in to give him a comforting kiss. That sort of intimate domesticity could never happen between them, but shock filled her at how much she wanted it. Grant was so unlike any other man she"d dated. Strong, reliable, honest. If she allowed herself, she could easily imagine weekends of blissful, boring, ordinariness. Grant looking s.e.xily rumpled. Kissing her with the wicked promise in his eyes that he"d do a lot more at the first opportunity. The family innocent and ignorant of his intent.
Well, not Nan. She didn"t miss much.
Ellie"s phone vibrated once. An incoming text. A second buzz in her front pocket reverberated in her hipbone. She felt the blood drain from her head as she pulled out her cell.
Afraid to look at the display until she was in private, she ducked out of the room with a quick, "excuse me."
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Grant following her as she went into the office.
He closed the door. "Same number as yesterday?"
"No. It"s a new one."
"What does it say?" he prompted.
She read the message. "Do you have the file?"
"Type yes."