TABLE TOPICS.
"Care preserves what Industry gains. He who attends to his business diligently, but _not_ carefully, throws away with one hand what he gathers with the other."--_Colton._
"What does cookery mean?"
It means the knowledge of all fruits and herbs and balms and spices--it means carefulness, and inventiveness, and watchfulness, and willingness, and readiness of appliance. It means the economy of your great grandmothers and the science of modern chemists,--it means much tasting and no wasting.--_Ruskin._
A penny saved is two pence clear A pin a day"s a groat a year.
--_Franklin._
Bad cooking is waste--waste of money and loss of comfort. Whom G.o.d has joined in matrimony, ill-cooked joints and ill-boiled potatoes have very often put asunder.--_Smiles._
Never sacrifice the more precious things--time, health, temper, strength--in attempting to save the less precious--money.
--_Sel._
Learn by how little life may be sustained and how much nature requires. The gifts of Cerea and water are sufficient nourishment for all peoples.--_Pharsalia._
THE ART OF DINING
Human nature is so susceptible to externals, while good digestion is so dependent upon interior conditions, that all the accessories of pleasant surroundings--neatness, cheeriness, and good breeding--should be brought into requisition for the daily gathering of the family at mealtime. The dining room should be one of the airiest, choicest rooms in the house, with a pleasant outlook, and, if possible, with east windows, that the morning sun may gladden the breakfast hour with its cheering rays. Let plants, flowers, birds, and pictures have a place in its appointments, that the a.s.sociation with things bright and beautiful may help to set the keynote of our own lives in cheerful accord. A dark, gloomy, ill-ventilated room brings depression of spirits, and will make the most elaborate meal unsatisfactory; while the plainest meal may seem almost a feast when served amid attractive surroundings. Neatness is an important essential; any home, however humble, may possess cleanliness and order, and without these, all charms of wealth and art are of little account.
A thorough airing each morning and opening of the windows a few minutes after each meal to remove the odor of food, are important items in the care of the dining room. The furnishing may be simple and inexpensive,--beauty in a home is not dependent upon expense,--but let it be substantial, tasteful, harmonious in color and soft in tone, nothing gaudy or showy. Use no heavy draperies, and have no excess of ornament and bric-a-brac to catch dust and germs. A hard-finished wood floor is far superior to a carpet in point of healthfulness, and quite as economical and easy to keep clean. The general furnishing of the room, besides the dining table and chairs, should include a sideboard, upon which may be arranged the plate and gla.s.sware, with drawers for cutlery and table linen; also a side-table for extra dishes needed during the service of a meal.
An open fireplace, when it can be afforded, aids in ventilation as well as increases the cheerful aspect of the room.
A moveable china closet with gla.s.s encas.e.m.e.nts for keeping the daintier china, gla.s.s, or silver ware not in common use is often a desirable article of furniture in small homes; or a shallow closet may be built in the wall of the dining-room for this purpose. A good size for such a closet is twelve inches deep and three feet wide. Four shelves, with one or more drawers below, in which may be kept the best table napery, afford ample s.p.a.ce in general. The appearance of the whole may be made very pleasing by using doors of gla.s.s, and filling in the back and sides of the shelves with velvet paper in dark-brown, dull-red, or any shade suitable for background, harmonizing with the general furnishing of the room. The shelves should be of the same material and have the same finish as the woodwork of the room. The upper side may be covered with felt if desired; and such artistic taste may be displayed in the arrangement of the china as to make the closet ornamental as well as convenient.
TABLE-TALK.--A sullen, silent meal is a direct promoter of dyspepsia. "Laugh and grow fat" is an ancient adage embodying good hygienic doctrine. It has long been well understood that food digests better when seasoned with agreeable conversation, and it is important that unpleasant topics should be avoided. Mealtime should not be made the occasion to discuss troubles, trials, and misfortunes, which rouse only gloomy thoughts, impair digestion, and leave one at the close of the meal worried and wearied rather than refreshed and strengthened. Let vexatious questions be banished from the family board. Fill the time with bright, sparkling conversation, but do not talk business or discuss neighborhood gossip. Do not let the food upon the table furnish the theme of conversation; neither praise nor apology are in good taste.
Parents who make their food thus an especial topic of conversation are instilling into their children"s minds a notion that eating is the best part of life, whereas it is only a means to a higher end, and should be so considered. Of all family gatherings the meals should be the most genial and pleasant, and with a little effort they may be made most profitable to all. It is said of Dr. Franklin that he derived his peculiarly practical turn of mind from his father"s table talk.
Let themes of conversation be of general interest, in which all may take a part. If there are children, a pleasant custom for the breakfast hour is to have each in turn relate something new and instructive, that he or she has read or learned in the interval since the breakfast hour of the previous day. This stimulates thought and conversational power, while music, history, adventure, politics, and all the arts and sciences offer ample scope for securing interesting items.
Another excellent plan is the selection of a special topic for conversation for each meal or for the meals of a day or a week, a previous announcement of the topic being made, that all, even the youngest, may have time to prepare something to say of it. The benefits from such social intercourse around the board can hardly be over-estimated; and if thus the mealtime is prolonged, and too much appears to be taken out of the busy day, be sure it will add to their years in the end, by increasing health and happiness.
TABLE MANNERS.--Good breeding and true refinement are nowhere more apparent than in manners at table. These do not relate alone to the proper use of knife and fork, napkin and spoon, but to habits of punctuality, neatness, quietness, order, and that kind thoughtfulness and courteous attention which spring from the heart--"in honor preferring one another." The purpose of eating should not be merely the appeas.e.m.e.nt of hunger or the gratification of the palate, but the acquiring of strength for labor or study, that we may be better fitted for usefulness in the world. Consequently, we should eat like responsible beings, and not like the lower orders of animals.
Good table manners cannot be put on for special occasions and laid aside like a garment. Persons not wont to observe the rules of politeness in the every-day life of their own households can never deceive others into thinking them well bred on "company" occasions. Ease and refinement of manners are only acquired by habitual practice, and parents should early accustom their children by both precept and example to observe the requirements of good behavior and politeness at table. Elaborate details are not necessary. We subjoin a few of the more simple rules governing table etiquette:--
1. Eat slowly, never filling the mouth very full and avoiding all appearance of greediness.
2. Masticate thoroughly, keeping the lips closed. Eating and drinking should be noiseless.
3. Never speak with the mouth full, nor interrupt another when talking.
Any remark worthy of utterance will keep.
4. Do not express a choice for any particular portion or dish, unless requested to do so; and do not find fault with the food. If by chance anything unpleasant is found in it, do not call the attention of others to the fact by either remark or manner.
5. Sit conveniently near the table, but not crowded up close against it; and keep the hands, when not in use to convey food to the mouth, in the lap, beneath the table, never resting upon the table, toying with knife, fork, or spoon.
6. Do not tilt back your chair, or lean upon the table with the elbow, or drum with the fingers.
7. It is contrary to good breeding to shovel one"s food into the mouth with a knife. Everything which can be eaten with a fork should be taken with that utensil alone. If necessary, use the knife for dividing the food, and afterward the fork to convey it to the mouth. Use a spoon for soups and juicy foods.
8. Bread should be broken, not cut. In eating large fruits, like apples or pears, divide with a knife, and take in small portions, holding the knife by the handle rather than the blade.
9. Soup is eaten from the side of the spoon, which is filled without noisily touching the plate.
10. Seeds or stones to be rejected should be taken from the lips with a spoon, never with the fingers. The mouth should not go to the food, but the food to the mouth.
11. Do not crumble food about your plate, nor in any avoidable way soil the table linen.
12. Do not hang the napkin about the neck like a bib, but unfold and lay across the lap in such a manner that it will not slide to the floor.
Carefully wipe the mouth before speaking, and as often at other times as may keep the lips perfectly clean of food and drink. At the close of a meal, if at home, fold the napkin neatly and place it in the ring. If at a hotel or away from home, leave the napkin unfolded by your plate.
13. Do not appear impatient to be served, and ordinarily at the home meals wait until all are served before commencing to eat. At a public table where waiters are provided, it is proper to begin eating as soon as the food is served. This is admissible because the wants of other guests are supposed to be similarly looked after.
14. Never reach across a neighbor"s plate for anything. If something beyond him is needed, ask to have it pa.s.sed to you.
15. Do not tilt your plate or sc.r.a.pe it for the last atom of food.
16. Drink very sparingly, if at all, while eating, and then do not pour the liquid down the throat like water turned from a pitcher.
17. Children should not be allowed to use their fingers to aid themselves in eating. If their hands are too small or too awkward to use a fork, a piece of bread or cracker may be held in the left hand to aid in pushing the food upon the fork or spoon.
18. To help one"s self to b.u.t.ter or any other food from a common dish with one"s own knife or spoon is a gross breach of table etiquette.
19. Never use the handkerchief unnecessarily at the table, and do not cough or sneeze if avoidable.
20. It is not considered proper to pick the teeth at table. If this becomes absolutely necessary, a napkin should be held before the mouth.
21. When a meal or course is finished, lay the knife and fork side by side upon the plate.
22. Except at a hotel or boarding house, it is not proper to leave the table before the rest of the family or guests, without asking the hostess to excuse you.
23. If a guest declines a dish, he need give no reason. "No, I thank you," is quite sufficient. The host or hostess should not insist upon guests" partaking of particular dishes, nor put anything upon their plates which they have declined.
THE TABLE.--None will deny that the appearance of the table affects one"s enjoyment of the food upon it. A well-appointed table with its cloth, though coa.r.s.e in texture, perfectly clean and neatly laid, its gla.s.s and china bright and shining, and the silver showing by its glistening surface evidence of frequent polishings, gives far more comfort and enjoyment than one where little attention is given to neatness, order, or taste. In many families, effort is made to secure all these important accessories when guests have been invited; but for common use, anything is considered "good enough for just one"s own folks." This ought not to be, and mothers who permit such a course, need not be surprised if their children exhibit a lack of self-respect and genuineness as well as awkwardness and neglect of manners.
The table around which the family meals are taken, ought to be at all times the model of what it should be when surrounded by guests. As a writer has well said, "There is no silent educator in the household that has higher rank than the table. Surrounded each day by the family who are eager for refreshment of body and spirit, its impressions sink deep; and its influences for good or ill form no mean part of the warp and woof of our lives. Its fresh damask, bright silver, gla.s.s, and china, give beautiful lessons in neatness, order, and taste; its damask soiled, rumpled, and torn, its silver dingy, its gla.s.s cloudy, and china nicked, annoy and vex us at first, and then instill their lessons of carelessness and disorder. An attractive, well-ordered table is an incentive to good manners, and being a place where one is incited to linger, it tends to control the bad habits of fast eating; while, on the contrary, an uninviting, disorderly table gives license to bad manners, and encourages the haste which is proverbial among Americans. The woman, then, who looks after her table in these particulars, is not doing trivial work, for it rests with her to give silently these good or bad lessons in manners and morals to her household as they surround the daily board."
A well-appointed table requires very little time and labor. No pretense or ostentation is necessary; neatness and simplicity are far more pleasing.