These words of mine were remembered later in a very different spirit from that in which they were then received (one of incredulous compa.s.sion)--remembered as are ever the last utterances of the doomed, whether innocent or guilty, in solemn awe and reverential tenderness, not unmingled with a superst.i.tions faith in presentiment.
"Why, you look bluer than your very obvious veil, bluer than your invisible school-marmish stockings, bluer than the skies, or a blue bag, or Madame de Stael"s "Corinne," or Byron"s "dark-blue ocean,"" said Major Favraud, as he a.s.sisted me again into the carriage, where Dr.
Durand and Marion awaited me, for, as I have said, we were now on our way to the vessel which was to bear me and my destinies forever from that lovely Southern land in which I had seen and suffered so much.
Dr. Durand looked serious at the sight of my woful aspect, and Marion mutely proffered her _vinaigrette_, gratefully accepted, as was the good doctor"s compa.s.sionate silence; but, as usual, Favraud, after having once gotten fairly under weigh, ran on. "What is the use of bewailing the inevitable?" he pursued. "We have all seen your _penchant_ for Curzon, and his for you, for three days past; but Octavia is as tough as _lignum-vitae_, I regret to a.s.sure you, my dear Miss Harz, and your chance is _as blue_ as your spirits, or the flames of snap-dragon, or Marion"s eyes. You will have to just put up with the captain, I fear, for even the doctor there is in harness for life. Southern women, you know, proverbially survive their husbands; and, as the suttee is out of fashion, they sometimes have to marry Yankees as a _dernier ressort_ of desperation! Of course, there are occasional sad exceptions"--looking grave for a moment, and glancing at the black hat-band on the Panama hat he was nursing on his knees, so as to let the breeze blow through his silky, silver-streaked black hair--"but--but--in short, why will you all look so doleful? Isn"t it bad enough to feel so?"
"The loveliest fade earliest, we all know," and the tears were in his honest, frivolous eyes, dashed away in the next moment as he exclaimed, eagerly, "Why, there goes the Lamarque equipage, as I live! I had forgotten all about it. The pleasantest woman in Savannah, young or old, is to be your _compagnon de voyage_, Miss Harz, and the most determined widower on record her escort; a perfect John Rogers of a man, with nine little motherless children, her brother Raguet ("Rag," as we called him at school, on account of his prim stiffness, so that "limber as a rag"
seemed a most preposterous saying in his vicinity). He is handsome, however, and intelligent, a perfect gentleman, but on the mourners"
bench just now, like some others you know of"--heaving a deep sigh. "His wife, poor thing, died last autumn--a pretty girl in her day was Cornelia Huger! I was a little weak in that direction once myself--before--that is, before--O doctor! what a trouble it is to remember!"
And again the small, fleet hand was dashed across the twinkling, tearful eyes of this April day of a middle-aged man of the world--this modern Mercutio--merry and mournful at once, as if there were two sides to his every mood, like the famous shield of story. When we reached the quay the Kosciusko was already getting up her steam, and, in less than an hour afterward, the friends I loved were gone like dreams, the bustle of departure was over, and, with lifted canvas and a puffing engine, we were grandly steaming past the n.o.ble forts (poor Bertie"s broach and buckle, be it remembered) on our path of pride and power toward the broad Atlantic.
The weather was oppressively hot, and, for the first thirty-six hours, scarcely a breath of wind lifted us on our way, so that the engine, wholly incompetent to the work of both sails and machinery, bore us very slowly on our northward ocean-flight. Indeed, the failure of this engine to do its duty, at first, had sorely disheartened both captain and crew as we found later, for upon its execution and energies, in the beginning, had rested our entire dependence.
On the evening of the second day"s voyage, a sudden and violent thunder-storm occurred, not unusual in those lat.i.tudes; during the raging of which our mainmast was struck by lightning, and wholly disabled.
The fire was extinguished in the only possible manner, by cutting it away from the decks, letting it gently down upon them, deluging it, so that our mast lay charred and blackened after its bath of sea-water, like a mighty serpent stretched along the ship, from stem to stern, and wrapped loosely in its shrouds. It did us good service later, though not by defying the winds of heaven, nor spreading forth its snowy sails to catch the tropic breezes.
Before many hours, it was destined to ride the waves in a shape that was certainly never intended by those who chose it among many others--taper and stately in its group of firs--to be the chief adornment of a gallant ship, and lift a pointing finger to the stars themselves, as an index of its might, and, with this exception, the hope of those it served--that of a charred and blackened life-raft.
The renewed freshness of the atmosphere, and the joyful upspringing of the breezes, alone remained, at midnight, to tell the story of the recent hurricane.
These tropic breezes came like benevolent fairies, to aid our groaning t.i.tan in his labors.
I can never rid myself for one moment of the idea that an engine really works, with weary, reluctant strength like a genii slave, waiting vengefully for the time of retaliation, which sooner or later is sure to come; or of the visionary notion that a graceful, gliding ship, with all sails set, receives the same pleasure from its own motion and beauty that a snow-white swan must do "as down she bears before the gale," with her white plumage and stately crest.
I think, if ever I am called to give a toast, it shall be "Sail-ships; may their shadows never be less!" They are, indeed, a part of the romance of ocean.
The moon was full, in the balmy summer night that succeeded the tempest, and the ship"s quarter-deck was crowded with the pa.s.sengers of the Kosciusko, enjoying to the utmost, as it seemed, the delicious, newly-washed atmosphere, the moonlit heavens and sea, the exquisitely-caressing softness of the tardily-awakened breezes that filled the white sails of the vessel, and fluttered the silken scarf of the maiden, with the same wooing breath of persuasive, subtle strength.
Around Miss Lamarque, the lady of whom Major Favraud had spoken so admiringly, and to whose kindness he had committed me, a group had gathered, chiefly of the young, not to be surpa.s.sed in any land for manly bearing, graceful feminine beauty, gayety, wit, and refinement.
There was Helen Oscanyan, fair as a dream of Greece, in her serene, marble perfectness of form and feature; and the lovely Mollie Cairns, her cousin, small, dark, and sparkling--both under the care of that stately gentleman, their uncle, Julius Severe, of Savannah; and there were the sisters Percy, twins in age and appearance, with voices like brook-ripples, and eyes like wood-violets, and feet of Chinese minuteness and French perfection--the darlings and only joys of a mother still beautiful, though sad in her widowhood, and gentle as the dove that mourns its mate.
There was the brilliant Ralph Maxwell, whose jests, stinging and slight, just glanced over the surface of society without inflicting a wound, even as the skater"s heel glides over ice, leaving its mark as it goes, yet breaking no crust of frost; and there was the poetic dreamer Dartmore, with his large, dark eyes, and moonlight face, and manner of suffering serenity, on his way to put forth for fame, as he fondly believed, his ma.n.u.script epic on the "Sorrows of the South."
All these, and more, were there gathering about the leader of their home-society, on that alien deck, as securely as though they were sitting in her own drawing-room at "Berthold," on one of her brilliant reception-evenings.
How could they know--how could they dream the truth--or descry the hidden skeleton at the festival, wreathed in flowers and veiled with glittering, filmy draperies, which yet put forth its bony fingers to beckon on and clutch them?
I too was joyous and unconscious as the rest, and for the first time for many days felt the burden literally heaved rather than lifted away that had oppressed me.
Was I not on my way to him in whose presence alone I lived my true life?
and what feeling of his morbid fancy was there that my hand could not smooth away, when once entwined in his? Beauseincourt, and all its shadows, had I not put behind me? The sunshine lay before, and in its light and warmth I should still rejoice, as it was my birthright to do.
I was "fey" that night, as the Scotch say, when an unaccountable lightness of mood precedes a heavy sorrow, which it so often does, as well as the more usual mood, the presage of gloom. I felt that I had the power to put aside all ills--to grapple with my fate, and compel back my lost happiness. Truly my bosom"s lord sat lightly on her throne, as of late it had not been her wont to do.
Against my inclination had I been drawn into the current of that youthful gayety, and now my bark floated without an effort on the stream. I was in my own element again, and my powers were all responsive.
The small hours came--the happy group dispersed--not without many interchanges of social compliment, much _badinage_, and merry plans for the morrow. The monster Sea-sickness had been defied on the balmy voyage, save in the brief interval of tempest, and his victors mocked him, baffled as he was, with their purpose of amus.e.m.e.nt.
"We shall get up the band to-morrow evening," said Major Ravenel, "and have a dance; the gallop would go grandly here. See what reach of quarter-deck we have! There are Germans on board who play in concert violins and wind-instruments."
"Suppose we dress as sea-nymphs," said Honoria Pyne; "enact a masque for old Neptune"s benefit? It would be so complimentary, you know; bring down the house, no doubt, I have a sea-green tarlatan lying so conveniently. Colonel Latrobe looks exactly like a Triton, with that wondrous beard. A little alum sprinkled over its red-gold ground would do wonders in the way of effect--would be gorgeous--wouldn"t it, now, Miss Harz?"
"But all that could be done on sh.o.r.e as well, Miss Pyne," I replied, in the way of reminiscence. "It is a pity to waste our opportunities of observation now, in getting up costumes; and, for my part, I confess that I have a wholesome dread of these sea-deities, and fear to exasperate their finny feelings by reducing them to effigies. Thetis is very spiteful, sometimes; and jealous, too, you remember."
Miss Pyne did not remember, but did not mean to be baffled either, she would let Miss Harz know, even if that lady _did_ know more about mythology than herself; and, if no one else would join her, meant to play her _role_ of sea-nymph all alone, with Major Latrobe for her Triton in waiting, tooting upon a conch-sh.e.l.l, and looking lovely! At which compliment, open and above-board, poor Major Latrobe, who was over head and ears in love with her, and a very ugly man, only bowed and looked more silly than before, which seemed a work of supererogation.
After the rest were gone, Miss Lamarque and I concluded to promenade on the nearly-deserted deck, in the moonlight, and let the excitement of the evening die away through the medium of more serious conversation.
She was a woman of forty-five, still graceful and fine-looking, but bearing few traces of earlier beauty, probably better to behold, in her overripe maturity, than in the unfolding of her less attractive time of bud and blossom. Self had been laid aside now (which it never can be until the effervescence of youth and hope are over). She had accepted her position of old maid and universal benefactress, and sustained it n.o.bly, gracefully. She was thoroughly well-bred and agreeable, very vivacious, astute, and intelligent, rather than intellectual, yet she had the capacity (had her training been different) to have been both of these.
I remember how it chanced that, after a long promenade, during which we had discussed men, manners, books, customs, costumes, and politics, even (that once tabooed subject for women, now free to all), with infinite zest and responsiveness that charmed us mutually, so that we swore allegiance on the strength of this one day"s rencontre, like two school-girls or knights of old--I remember how the dropping of her comb at his feet caused Miss Lamarque to pause, compelling me to follow her example, by reason of our intertwined arms, in front of the man at the wheel, as he stooped to raise it and hand it to her with a seaman"s bow.
His ready politeness, unusual for one in his station, determined us to cultivate his maritime acquaintance, and in a short time we had drawn forth the outlines of his story, simple and bare as this was of incident.
His picturesque appearance had impressed us equally during the day, but until now we had not met in concert about Christian Garth, for such we soon found was the name of our polite pilot.
He was a Jerseyman, he told us, of German descent, married to the girl of his heart, and living on the coast of that adventurous little State, famous alike for its peaches and wrecks.
"Sall had a stocking full of money," he informed us, silver, and copper, and gold, when he married her, for her mother had been a famous huckster--and never missed her post in the Philadelphia market for thirty years, and this was her child"s inheritance, and with this money he had fixed up his old hut, till it looked "e"en a"most inside like a ship-captain"s cabin."
And now Sall wanted him to stay at home, he informed us, with her and the children, but somehow or other he could never tarry long at the hearth, for the sea pulled him like it was his mother, and the spell of the tides was on him, and he must foller even if he went to his own destruction, like them men that liquor lures to loss, or the love of mermaids.
"All land service is dead when likened to the sea," he said, shaking his great water-dog head, and looking out lovingly upon his idol. "But ships a"n"t like they oncst was, ladies," he added, "before men put these here heavy iron ingines to work in "em--it"s like cropping a bird"s wing to make a river-boat of a ship, and a burning shame to shorten sails till it looks like a young gal dressed in breeches or any other onnatural thing--for a sailing-ship and a full-flowing petticoat always rise up in a true man"s mind together--G.o.d bless them both, I say."
"To which we cordially say amen, of course," said Miss Lamarque, laughing. "We should have been at a loss, however, Mr. Garth, but for our engine during the dead calm preceding the storm, when our ship"s sails flapped so lazily about her masts, and she rocked like a baby"s cradle without making progress. It is well the engineer manoeuvred so successfully while we lay fireless on the low rolling waves; but we are speeding along merrily enough now, to make up for it all--I take comfort in that--"
"But not exactly in the right direction, though, to suit my stripe," he said, turning his quid in his mouth us he looked out to leeward, revealing, as he did so, a fine yet rugged profile relieved against the silvery purple sheen of the moonlit sky.
"Do you see that dark object lying beyond" (our eyes mechanically followed his), "so still on the water?" and he indicated it with the pipe he held in one sinewy hand--for the native courtesy of the man had involuntarily proffered us the homage of removing it from his lips, when we addressed him.
"Yes--what is it? a wreck? a whale? a small volcanic island? Do explain, Mr. Garth," said Miss Lamarque.
"Nothing but an iceberg, and we are bearing down upon it rather too rapidly, it seems to me."
And so speaking, he turned his wheel in silence warily.
"But you have the command of the helm, and have nothing to do but--"
"Obey orders," he interrupted, grimly. "Ef the captain was to tell me to run the ship to purgatory, I"d have to do it, you know."
"But surely the captain would not jeopardize the lives of a ship"s company, even if he likes warm lat.i.tudes, by ordering you to run foul of an iceberg; and, if he did, you certainly would not dare to obey him with the fear of G.o.d before your eyes?" remonstrated Miss Lamarque, indignantly. "For my part I shall go to him immediately and desire him to change his course--but after all I don"t believe that dingy black thing is an iceberg at all--an old hen-coop rather, thrown over from some merchant-ship, or a vast lump of charred wood. You are only trying to alarm us."
"Ef you was to see it close enough, you would find it to shine equal to the diamond on your hand; but I hope you never will, that"s all--I hope you never will, lady! I sot on a peak of that sort oncst myself for three days in higher lat.i.tudes than this here--me and five others, all that was spared from the wreck of the schooner Delta, and we felt our convoy melting away beneath us, and courtesying e"en a"most even with the sea, before the merchant-ship Osprey took us off, half starved, and half frozen, and half roasted all at oncst! Them is onpleasant rickollections, ladies, and it makes my blood creep to this day to see an iceberg in konsikence; but a man must do his dooty, whatsomever do betide. It was in the dead of night, and Hans Schuyler had the wheel, I remember, when we went to pieces on that iceberg, all for disregarding; the captain"s orders; you see, he meant to graze it like!"
"Graze it!" almost shrieked Miss Lamarque. "Did he think he was driving a curricle? Graze it--Heaven, what rashness!"
"Don"t--don"t! Mr. Garth," I pet.i.tioned; "I shall never sleep a wink on this ship if you continue your narrative."