Sean stared at the hamburger patties that were less than a half inch high. "Just working in the seasonings," he claimed, molding them back into b.a.l.l.s before flattening them on the already hot skillet.
"What can I do to help?"
"Not a thing. I"ve already dished up the potato salad and coleslaw. We"ve got tomatoes, onions, ketchup and mustard. Anything else you need?"
"Buns?" she asked, glancing around.
"In the oven warming."
"Sounds as if you have everything under control, then."
"Kevin okay?"
"He found the cartoon channel. What do you think?" she asked wryly. "We don"t have cable at our place."
"That"s probably a good thing. Kids spend too much time in front of TV or computers these days. They"re better off outside in the fresh air, getting plenty of exercise." Even as the words left his mouth, he realized it was something he"d heard his foster father say on more than one occasion. Evan Forrester had obviously taught him more than Sean had realized.
"Amen to that," Deanna said. "I only wish there were more places for them to play in our neighborhood. Some of the kids play in the street, but I refuse to let Kevin do that, and the nearest park"s too far away."
"Ruby could bring him here in the afternoon. There"s plenty of room outside the building, and there are usually a bunch of kids out in front. I could introduce her and Kevin to some of the moms."
"You wouldn"t mind doing that?"
"Why would I?"
"It might mean you"d be b.u.mping into Kevin more. I"m sure it"s flattering to be idolized the way he idolizes you, but it can take a toll after a while. You might start to want your privacy back."
"Dee, don"t worry about it," he said, using the nickname he"d heard Ruby use. "Kevin"s a great kid. He"s not getting on my nerves. I like having him around. And it"s not as if I"m here all that much, anyway. If it"ll make you feel better, have Ruby call me before they come by, to make sure it"s not an inconvenience, but I can tell you right now that it won"t be."
Deanna didn"t look totally convinced.
"Okay, what else is on your mind?" he asked.
"I"m not sure it"s a good idea for him to start to count on you too much," she admitted. "It"s not as if you"re always going to be available for him. Despite what you think now, you could eventually meet someone, get married, have your own family. Where would that leave Kevin?"
He carefully flipped a burger as he considered his response to that. "We"ve already discussed the likelihood that I"ll never get married, so that"s not an issue." He met her gaze. "Dee, I"m not going to let him down. I"ll make it very clear that we"re just buddies. I won"t set up any false expectations."
"That all sounds very reasonable to me, but I"m an adult, not a five-year-old boy who desperately wants a dad."
Sean swallowed hard as her quietly spoken words. .h.i.t home. Of course she was right to be worried. How many times as a boy had he watched with envy as his friends went off to do things with their dads? Evan Forrester had done things with him, but it had taken years before Sean had allowed himself to begin to count on his foster father really being there for him. If anything had happened to jerk the rug out from under his feet once he"d finally started to trust his foster father, it would have been devastating. Kevin had none of those defenses in place. The kid was still innocent enough to wear his heart on his sleeve.
"Would you prefer it if I steered clear of him completely?" he asked, feeling an odd sense of loss even before she replied. Though he spent time with a lot of kids, there was something about Kevin"s c.o.c.ky self-a.s.surance and his vulnerability that struck a chord with Sean. Maybe he saw himself in the boy.
Deanna stood there, clearly weighing her answer for what seemed to be an eternity before she finally shook her head. "No, that"s not what I want, and I know it"s not what Kevin wants. I just don"t want him to get hurt."
"Sometimes it"s not possible to protect the people we love from getting hurt," Sean said. "But I"ll do my best not to hurt Kevin."
"I know that, or we wouldn"t be having this conversation," she said. "We wouldn"t even be here."
Sean tucked a finger under her chin and forced her to meet his gaze, "I"m going to do my best not to hurt you, either."
She shrugged as if her feelings were of no importance. "Yeah, well, like you said, you can"t always protect people from pain. It"s part of living."
"You learned that lesson from your ex?"
"Among others," she said tightly.
"Care to elaborate?"
"Not really. The important thing is that I survived." She met his gaze. "So did you."
Long after Sean had walked Deanna and Kevin back home, her words lingered in his head. He doubted she realized the significance of what she"d said. She"d managed to remind him that for most of the past decade-no, even longer than that-Sean had not only survived, he"d worked hard to keep himself safe from being hurt.
But only today had he realized that he-very much like Deanna, whether she realized it or not-had also kept himself from really living.
Chapter Seven.
"What the devil is this?"
From her place at the reception desk Deanna heard the shout of the senior law partner in his office. She exchanged a glance with Ruby.
"Mr. Hodges sounds like he"s on a real rampage," Deanna said in a whisper. "I wonder what it"s about."
Before they could even speculate, the intercom on her desk buzzed.
"Deanna, Mr. Hodges would like to see you," Charlotte Wilson said, her tone somber. "Have Ruby cover the desk for you."
"Yes, ma"am," Deanna said, her palms sweating. She gave Ruby a shaky smile. "Pray for me."
"Don"t let the man bully you," Ruby advised.
Stomach churning, Deanna walked down the corridor to the suite of offices belonging to Jordan Hodges. A glance at Charlotte"s face was not encouraging. The secretary, who usually maintained a facade of icy reserve, looked as if she wanted to cry.
Deanna stepped inside the office and waited.
"Don"t just stand there. Come in and close the door," her boss said, regarding her with a scowling expression.
She shut the door and crossed the room. "Is something wrong?"
"I"ll say something"s wrong," he said, his expression grim. "I found these papers on my desk just now." He waved an envelope in her direction. "They were supposed to be across town on the desk of opposing counsel. Care to explain why they"re not?"
Deanna stared at the envelope in confusion. True, it was her job to see that the outgoing mail went out each day, but she wasn"t the one who addressed it. "I have no idea. What does it say on the envelope?"
"The address label is quite clear," he said, waving it under her nose.
She snagged a corner of the envelope and studied it. Sure enough, it was addressed to a lawyer in downtown Boston. "Sir, I know I"ve been a little frazzled lately, but if this envelope had come across my desk addressed like this, it would have gone out," she said confidently. "It wouldn"t have gotten mixed up with the incoming mail."
The color in Mr. Hodges"s face had finally begun to return to normal. He sank into his chair. "It"s not like you to make a mistake like this," he agreed, studying her with concern. "You say you"ve been frazzled. Is something wrong I should know about? Your boy"s okay?"
She was surprised by the question. She rarely mentioned Kevin around the office. "Kevin"s fine."
"Something else, then?"
Deanna hadn"t wanted to get into her personal problems at work. She never wanted her boss to think that she had so much going on that she couldn"t concentrate on her job. It was a sure way to get fired.
"It"s okay," he encouraged her, pinning her with a steady gaze. "Just tell me."
No wonder the man was considered a shark in court, Deanna thought. He was relentless and he managed to cross-examine a witness with that same look of compa.s.sion on his face that he had right now. She could almost believe that he really cared about what was going on in her life.
"I really don"t think there"s any need for me to burden you with my problems," she said.
"Nonsense. Tell me," he said even more emphatically.
"It"s just that there was this fire a couple of months ago," she said hesitantly.
"A fire? Where?"
"My building."
"How bad was it?"
"Pretty bad," she admitted, then added with some reluctance, "We lost everything."
Shock spread across his face. "Why on earth didn"t you say something?"
"We"ve been doing okay. We"re living with Ruby temporarily. I"ve been adding hours at Joey"s to try to get enough money so we can move into our own place. To be honest, it"s possible that it"s catching up with me."
"You"re working a second job at Joey Talifero"s restaurant?" he asked, clearly shocked.
"Actually I have been for some time."
He shook his head. "Well, one thing at a time. We"ll deal with your need to work a second job another time. As for the fire, why wasn"t I told about it? I a.s.sume you told Charlotte."
"Actually, no." Mr. Hodges"s executive secretary was the last person she would have shared her personal problems with. "I don"t like to bring my problems to work. I never want you to get the idea that this job doesn"t have my full attention."
He regarded her with unmistakable dismay. "Deanna, how long have you been here now? Five years, isn"t it? Ever since your son was born."
She nodded.
"And every single evaluation has given you high marks for being a responsible employee, correct?"
"Yes."
"Then why on earth would you be afraid to come to me when you lose your home? I think that qualifies as the kind of thing your boss ought to know. We could help you out, give you a loan, represent you if you want to sue the landlord."
Deanna stared at him in astonishment. She had never considered asking him for free legal a.s.sistance. The kind of cases he normally handled involved hundreds of thousands of dollars, not what would amount to pocket change in his world. "You would do that?" she asked.
"Well, of course we would," he said with a hint of exasperation that she even had to ask. "What did you expect? As far as I"m concerned, every employee in this firm is like family. When anyone"s having a problem, I expect them to come to me before before it interferes with their job performance." it interferes with their job performance."
"Thank you. I"ll remember that in the future."
"Forget the future. What about the here and now? What can I do?"
Deanna refused to ask for more money. He was already paying her a decent wage for the receptionist"s job she"d been doing. And she certainly didn"t want a loan she would have to struggle to pay back.
"Nothing, really. I"m handling everything."
"Not if this mistake is an example of the way you"re handling things," he chided, but more gently this time. "Who was at fault for the fire?"
"The fire inspector said it was the landlord," she said. "But the landlord made it clear when I signed my lease that he wasn"t responsible for damages to anything in any of the apartments, that I needed to carry my own insurance."
"Did you?"
She shook her head. "I couldn"t afford it," she admitted. "And we didn"t have that much. I didn"t realize until we lost everything how much it would cost to replace what little we did have."
Mr. Hodges pulled out a legal pad and a pen. "What"s the landlord"s name?"
"Lawrence Wyatt."
To her surprise her boss reacted with disgust. "Typical of Wyatt," he muttered. "This isn"t the first time I"ve run across him. I"ll have a talk with him. I think I can promise you a settlement of some kind. Will that mean you can cut back on your hours at Joey"s, maybe start getting some sleep?"
"Yes."
"See that it does," he said sternly. "And, Deanna?"
"Yes, sir."
"Next time there"s a crisis, don"t wait so long to come to me."
"No, sir," she said, exiting the office before the tears of grat.i.tude stinging her eyes could fall.
Charlotte studied her worriedly. "Did he fire you?"
"No."
"Thank heaven," the secretary said fervently.
"I just can"t imagine what happened, though. I"m always so careful. I know how important papers like that are."
"Mistakes happen to everyone," Charlotte said.
It was such a rare attempt at rea.s.surance that Deanna regarded her with sudden suspicion. "You never put that envelope on my desk, did you?"