12. Love renders women industrious and frugal, and a loving husband spends lavishly on a loved wife and children, though miserly towards others.
13. Love cultivates self-respect and produces beauty. Beauty in walk and beauty in looks; a girl in love is at her best; it brings out the finest traits of her character, she walks more erect and is more generous and forgiving; her voice is sweeter and she makes happy all about her. She works better, sings better and is better.
14. Now in conclusion, a love marriage is the best life insurance policy; it pays dividends every day, while every other insurance policy merely promises to pay after death. Remember that statistics demonstrate that married people outlive old maids and old bachelors by a goodly number of years and enjoy healthier and happier lives.
[Ill.u.s.tration: THE TURKISH WAY OF MAKING LOVE]
[Ill.u.s.tration: PREPARING TO ENTERTAIN HER LOVER.]
[Ill.u.s.tration: CONFIDENCE.]
AMATIVENESS OR CONNUBIAL LOVE.
1. MULTIPLYING THE RACE.--Some means for multiplying our race is necessary to prevent its extinction by death. Propagation and death appertain to man"s earthly existence. If the Deity had seen fit to bring every member of the human family into being by a direct act of creative power, without the agency of parents, the present wise and benevolent arrangements of husbands and wives, parents and children, friends and neighbors, would have been superseded, and all opportunities for exercising parental and connubial love, in which so much enjoyment is taken, cut off. But the domestic feelings and relations, as now arranged, must strike every philosophical observer as inimitably beautiful and perfect--as the offspring of infinite Wisdom and Goodness combined.
2. AMATIVENESS AND ITS COMBINATIONS const.i.tute their origin, counterpart, and main medium of manifestation. Its primary function is connubial love. From it, mainly, spring those feelings which exist between the s.e.xes as such and result in marriage and offspring.
Combined with the higher sentiments, it gives rise to all those reciprocal kind feelings and nameless courtesies which each s.e.x manifests towards the other; refining and elevating both, promoting gentility and politeness, and greatly increasing social and general happiness.
3. RENDERS MEN MORE POLITE TO WOMEN.--So far from being in the least gross or indelicate, its proper exercise is pure, chaste, virtuous, and even an ingredient in good manners. It is this which renders men always more polite towards women than to one another, and more refined in their society, and which makes women more kind, grateful, genteel and tender towards men than women. It makes mothers love their sons more than their daughters, and fathers more attached to their daughters. Man"s endearing recollections of his mother or wife form his most powerful incentives to virtue, study, and good deeds, as well as restraints upon his vicious inclinations; and, in proportion as a young man is dutiful and affectionate to his mother, will he be fond of his wife; for, this faculty is the parent of both.
4. ALL SHOULD CULTIVATE THE FACULTY OF AMATIVENESS OR CONNUBIAL LOVE.--Study the personal charms and mental accomplishments of the other s.e.x by ardent admirers of beautiful forms, and study graceful movements and elegant manners, and remember, much depends upon the tones and accents of the voice. Never be gruff if you desire to be winning. Seek and enjoy and reciprocate fond looks and feelings.
Before you can create favorable impressions you must first be honest and sincere and natural, and your conquest will be sure and certain.
LOVE AND COMMON-SENSE.
1. Do not love her because she goes to the altar with her head full of book learning, her hands of no earthly use, save for the piano and brush; because she has no conception of the duties and responsibilities of a wife; because she hates housework, hates its everlasting routine and ever recurring duties; because she hates children and will adopt every means to evade motherhood; because she loves her ease, loves to have her will supreme, loves, oh how well, to be free to go and come, to let the days slip idly by, to be absolved from all responsibility, to live without labor, without care? Will you love her selfish, shirking, calculating nature after twenty years of close companionship?
2. Do you love him because he is a man, and therefore, no matter how weak mentally, morally or physically he may be, he has vested in him the power to save you from the ignominy of an old maid"s existence?
Because you would rather be Mrs. n.o.body, than make the effort to be Miss Somebody? because you have a great empty place in your head and heart that nothing but a man can fill? because you feel you cannot live without him? G.o.d grant the time may never come when you cannot live with him.
3. Do you love her because she is a thoroughly womanly woman; for her tender sympathetic nature; for the jewels of her life, which are absolute purity of mind and heart; for the sweet sincerity of her disposition; for her loving, charitable thought; for her strength of character? because she is pitiful to the sinful, tender to the sorrowful, capable, self-reliant, modest, true-hearted? in brief, because she is the embodiment of all womanly virtues?
4. Do you love him because he is a manly man; because the living and operating principle of his life is a tender reverence for all women; because his love is the overflow of the best part of his nature; because he has never soiled his soul with an unholy act or his lips with an oath; because mentally he is a man among men; because physically he stands head and shoulders above the ma.s.ses; because morally he is far beyond suspicion, in his thought, word or deed?
because his earnest manly consecrated life is a mighty power on G.o.d"s side?
5. But there always has been and always will be unhappy marriages until men learn what husbandhood means; how to care for that tenderly matured, delicately const.i.tuted being, that he takes into his care and keeping. That if her wonderful adjusted organism is overtaxed and overburdened, her happiness, which is largely dependent upon her health, is destroyed.
6. Until men give the women they marry the undivided love of their heart; until constancy is the key-note of a life which speaks eloquently of clean thoughts and clean hearts.
7. Until men and women recognize that self-control in a man, and modesty in a woman, will bring a mutual respect that years of wedded life will only strengthen. Until they recognize that love is the purest and holiest of all things known to humanity, will marriage continue to bring unhappiness and discontent, instead of that comfort and restful peace which all loyal souls have a right to expect and enjoy.
8. Be sensible and marry a sensible, honest and industrious companion, and happiness through life will be your reward.
[Ill.u.s.tration: A CALLER.]
[Ill.u.s.tration]
WHAT WOMEN LOVE IN MEN.
1. Women naturally love courage, force and firmness in men. The ideal man in a woman"s eye must be heroic and brave. Woman naturally despises a coward, and she has little or no respect for a bashful man.
2. Woman naturally loves her lord and master. Women who desperately object to be overruled, nevertheless admire men who overrule them, and few women would have any respect for a man whom they could completely rule and control.
3. Man is naturally the protector of woman; as the male wild animal of the forest protects the female, so it is natural for man to protect his wife and children, and therefore woman admires those qualities in a man which make him a protector.
4. LARGE MEN.--Women naturally love men of strength, size and fine physique, a tall, large and strong man rather than a short, small and weak man. A woman always pities a weakly man, but rarely ever has any love for him.
5. SMALL AND WEAKLY MEN.--All men would be of good size in frame and flesh, were it not for the infirmities visited upon them by the indiscretion of parents and ancestors of generations before.
6. YOUTHFUL s.e.xUAL EXCITEMENT.--There are many children born healthy and vigorous who destroy the full vigor of their generative organs in youth by self-abuse, and if they survive and marry, their children will have small bones, small frames and sickly const.i.tutions. It is therefore not strange that instinct should lead women to admire men not touched with these symptoms of physical debility.
7. GENEROSITY.--Woman generally loves a generous man. Religion absorbs a great amount of money in temples, churches, ministerial salaries, etc., and ambition and appet.i.te absorb countless millions, yet woman receives more gifts from man than all these combined: she loves a generous giver. _Generosity and Gallantry_ are the jewels which she most admires. A woman receiving presents from a man implies that she will pay him back in love, and the woman who accepts a man"s presents, and does not respect him, commits a wrong which is rarely ever forgiven.
8. INTELLIGENCE.--Above all other qualities in man, woman admires his intelligence. Intelligence is man"s woman captivating card. This character in woman is ill.u.s.trated by an English army officer, as told by O.S. Fowler, betrothed in marriage to a beautiful, loving heiress, summoned to India, who wrote back to her:
"I have lost an eye, a leg, an arm, and been so badly marred and begrimmed besides, that you never could love this poor, maimed soldier. Yet, I love you too well to make your life wretched by requiring you to keep your marriage-vow with me, from which I hereby release you. Find among English peers one physically more perfect, whom you can love better."
She answered, as all genuine women must answer:
"Your n.o.ble mind, your splendid talents, your martial prowess which maimed you, are what I love. As long as you retain sufficient body to contain the casket of your soul, which alone is what I admire, I love you all the same, and long to make you mine forever."
9. SOFT MEN.--All women despise soft and silly men more than all other defects in their character. Woman never can love a man whose conversation is flat and insipid. Every man seeking woman"s appreciation or love should always endeavor to show his intelligence and manifest an interest in books and daily papers. He should read books and inform himself so that he can talk intelligently upon the various topics of the day. Even an ignorant woman always loves superior intelligence.
10. s.e.xUAL VIGOR.--Women love s.e.xual vigor in men. This is human nature. Weakly and delicate fathers have weak and puny children, though the mother may be strong and robust. A weak mother often bears strong children, if the father is physically and s.e.xually vigorous.
Consumption is often inherited from fathers, because they furnish the body, yet more women die with it because of female obstructions. Hence women love pa.s.sion in men, because it endows their offspring with strong functional vigor.
11. Pa.s.sIONATE MEN--The less pa.s.sion any woman possesses, the more she prizes a strong pa.s.sionate man. This is a natural consequence, for if she married one equally pa.s.sionless, their children would be poorly endowed or they would have none; she therefore admires him who makes up the deficiency. Hence very amorous men prefer quiet, modest and reserved women.
12. HOMELY MEN are admired by women if they are large, strong and vigorous and possess a good degree of intelligence. Looks are trifles compared with the other qualities which man may possess.
13. YOUNG MAN, If you desire to win the love and admiration of young ladies, first, be intelligent; read books and papers; remember what you read, so you can talk about it. Second, be generous and do not show a stingy and penurious disposition when in the company of ladies.
Third, be sensible, original, and have opinions of your own and do not agree with everything that someone else says, or agree with everything that a lady may say. Ladies naturally admire genteel and intelligent discussions and conversations when there is someone to talk with who has an opinion of his own. Woman despises a man who has no opinion of his own; she hates a trifling disposition and admires leadership, original ideas, and looks up to man as a leader. Women despise all men whom they can manage, overrule, cow-down and subdue.
14. BE SELF-SUPPORTING.--The young man who gives evidence of thrift is always in demand. Be enthusiastic and drive with success all that you undertake. A young man, sober, honest and industrious, holding a responsible position or having a business of his own, is a prize that some bright and beautiful young lady would like to draw. Woman admires a certainty.
15. UNIFORMED MEN.--It is a well known fact that women love uniformed men. The soldier figures as a hero in about every tale of fiction and it is said by good authority that a man in uniform has three more chances to marry than the man without uniform. The correct reason is, the soldier"s profession is bravery, and he is dressed and trained for that purpose, and it is that which makes him admired by ladies rather than the uniform which he wears. His profession is also that of a protector.