c.r.a.p!
"Oh... uhm... I haven"t said anything to you about them?" I looked anywhere but at her.
I heard her drop her notepad onto her mahogany desk.
"Katy, I will never be able to fully help you if you keep things from me," she leaned closer to me.
"They"re just nightmares. Everybody has nightmares," I replied.
Sharon took a deep breath. "Maybe so... but your nightmares are tied to what happened to you. You need to be more open, Katy. You have to stop internalizing everything."
"I just want them to go away and they don"t. Every night, I close my eyes and relive that night. Over and over again," I spat, tears threatened to burst from my eyes. "Nothing I do, makes it go away."
"Tell me about the dreams," she prompted.
I took a deep breath. Sharon was really beginning to get on my nerves.
"Speaking them aloud, only gives them the power to hurt me more," my voice shook.
"No," Sharon raised a pale brow, "it gives you the power to heal."
A knock sounded at the door and she held up her finger for me to wait.
"Yes?" she prompted and the door swung open.
The receptionist stood there, awkwardly. She shook her head and said, "Mr. Johnson is here. He says it"s an emergency and he needs to see you, now."
Sharon sighed.
"I"m sorry, Katy. We"ll have to pick this up next Tuesday. I need to see him."
"Not a problem," I said, grabbing my purse and slinging it over my shoulder. I was so happy to get out of there and not have to talk about my nightmares. Halfway out the door, I called over my shoulder, "I"ll see you next week!"
I got in my car and checked my phone.
I had a missed call from Jared. I rang him back but he didn"t answer. I left him a quick message and then called Rollo.
"Rollo." He answered.
I rolled my eyes. "Want to go get some pizza? I"m in major need of cheese and grease."
"Sure," he said, "Can you pick me up?"
"Of course. I"ll be there in ten minutes."
"This is so delicious," I moaned. "Seriously, the best pizza I have ever had."
Rollo laughed. "Slow down, baby cakes. This isn"t an eating contest."
"I"m starving," I replied, around a mouthful of cheese.
"Have you not eaten anything, today?" Rollo asked.
I shook my head. "I woke up late and didn"t have time to eat breakfast before cla.s.s, and then I had to go straight to Sharon"s."
"You really need to eat your breakfast, Katy, because the way you"re attacking that pizza is frightening."
"You"re mean," I growled, taking a sip of iced tea.
"Baby cakes, I"m honest, there"s a major difference between honest and mean," he sprinkled some Parmesan cheese onto his pizza.
"Yeah, one makes me want to bite you," I snapped.
He chuckled. "You"re too busy devouring that pizza to bite me."
I stuck my tongue out at him, just as my phone started ringing.
Rollo s.n.a.t.c.hed it off the table before I could even put my pizza down.
"Oooh! It"s Jare-bear!" he exclaimed, causing a few people sitting around the pizza shop turned to look at us.
"Give me that!" I hissed.
"I don"t think so," he leaned away from me, stretching back in the chair. He hit the ANSWER b.u.t.ton and said, "h.e.l.lo?"
I heard Jared"s voice rumble on the other end.
Rollo snorted. "No, this is Rollo. I"m gay, definitely not trying to get in your girl"s panties so stop giving me the third degree for answering her phone."
Jared chuckled.
"Give me the phone!" I tried to grab it from Rollo.
"Not yet," Rollo told me and returned to the conversation with Jared. "We"re at Mario"s, having pizza, you should join us... that is if Katyrina hasn"t eaten it all by then." A pause. "Good, see you in a few."
Rollo hung up and handed my phone back.
"I hate you so much right now," I glared at Rollo. "Like, seriously, hate you with a burning pa.s.sion."
Rollo rolled his eyes. "Puh-lease, baby cakes, once Jared and his perfect a.s.s gets here, you won"t be hating me anymore."
"No, I"m pretty sure I will," I glared down at my slice of pizza, suddenly not hungry anymore.
"Well," Rollo said, "you better turn that frown right side around, real quick. Hot bod just pulled up."
"s.h.i.t," I whispered under my breath.
I heard the door open from behind me and my body instantly jolted awake, like someone had struck me with a live wire. Every part of my body, even ones I"d long ago believed dormant, were aware of Jared"s presence.
Even before "the event", no one had affected me this way.
"Hey," Jared said, standing awkwardly beside the table. He was dressed casually in dark blue sweatpants and a tee. He wore a baseball cap low over his eyes.
"Hi," I squeaked. I felt completely awkward after our... whatever you wanted to call it, because I refused to think of it as a date.
"I was just heading out," Rollo stood. He looked at me and winked. "See you later, baby cakes. Take care of my girl," Rollo clapped Jared"s shoulder.
Jared smiled at me and hooked his thumb over his shoulder. "I"m going to go get some pizza," he turned to head to the counter but suddenly he was back in front of me. "Please, don"t run, Katy. Especially when I have my back turned."
"I promised you, no more running. I"ll be here," I played with my napkin.
"Okay," he slowly eased away. I could see in his eyes that he was sure that I"d leave as soon as he turned around.
As much as I may have wanted to do that, I couldn"t. Not to Jared.
His back b.u.mped into the counter and with a chuckle, he turned to give the gaping girl behind the counter his order. She was obviously starstruck by Jared, and honestly, I couldn"t blame her. Forget his good looks; there was just some kind of magnetism about him that drew people in, including me.
He finished giving his order and turned his head slightly to peer at me from the corner of his eye. When he saw that I caught him peeking, a grin took over his face. He shook his head and paid for his pizza, dropping the change in the tips jar.
"I"ll bring your pizza out to you when it"s ready," the girl blushed. "Oh! And here"s your drink!"
"Thanks," I heard Jared say, before he made his way back to the table.
He grabbed up Rollo"s paper plate and drink cup and tossed it in the trashcan. I blushed, knowing that I should"ve done that.
"So," Jared said, taking the seat across from me, "what have you been up to today?"
"Um... cla.s.ses... and some other stuff," I mumbled, playing with my hair.
"Care to elaborate on this other stuff?" He leaned forward and those chocolate eyes bore into me, pleading with me to spill my guts.
"Not really," I finally answered.
"Aww, come on, kitten. I honestly want to know and I"m not the kind of person to judge. You know that," he batted those super long lashes at me.
Oh Lord, I was putty in this man"s hands. What had happened to me?
I took a deep breath and decided to take the plunge. "I was seeing my therapist."
"I see," he said, taking a sip of his Mountain Dew. "Been there, done that."
I blanched.
"Shocking, I know. But as I have eluded to, my past isn"t all that great," he waved his hand through the air. "A therapist can help... if you open up and talk to them. Unfortunately, I always had trouble with both and I"m going to go out on a wild limb here and say that you do to."
I sat there, dumbfounded, my mouth opening and closing.
How could one person understand and read me so well? It was like my soul was an open book to him.
"Am I right?" he raised a brow.
"Y-yes," I stuttered.
"I know how hard it can be to open up to people, especially someone that scribbles everything you say in a notebook," he said. "But there are certain people out there that you can trust, Katy. You can trust me, and I believe that I can trust you. I just don"t think you"re ready for the truth, yet." He sighed and leaned back in the chair so that the front legs didn"t touch the floor. "Besides, according to our deal, I can"t tell you my story until you tell me yours."
"You might be waiting a long time," I whispered.
"Kittycat, I would wait forever if that"s what you wanted, but there"s a fire in you and I know that soon, the inferno will consume you and you"ll open up to me. Then, you"ll finally be free."
"Like a phoenix rising from its ashes?" I asked with a raised brow.
"You don"t miss anything," he said. The girl appeared at our table with Jared"s pizza.
"Here you go. Can I get you anything else?" she asked, in a soft, quiet voice.
"No, but thank you," he flashed her a smile.
She scurried away.
"Do you mesmerize everyone you come into contact with?" I asked, before taking a sip of my tea. Ew, the water had started to melt, leaving the tea weak.
"I don"t know what you"re talking about," Jared chuckled, grabbing up a slice of pizza covered in... well, everything.
"Oh please," I crossed my arms over my chest. "All you have to do is bat your eyelashes and people are falling at your feet."
He gazed at me and batted his lashes. "I don"t see you falling at my feet. They must not be working right," he prodded his eye. "Maybe, I should try again."
"You"re full of it," I laughed. A real, genuine, carefree laugh. The kind of laugh that leaves you with tears in your eyes.
"Finally! She laughs!" Jared exclaimed.
"Thank you, I needed that," I said, using my napkin to dab at my eyes.
"I"m just glad I could help. I hope you"ll give me the chance to make you laugh more often. You know what they say?"
"What?"
He swallowed a bite of pizza. ""Laughter is the best medicine.""
"You really believe that?" I asked, not mocking him, but truly curious.
"Yes," he answered immediately. "Laughter can cure anything, when you laugh, it pushes the darkness out of your soul."
"You"re a strange dude," I shook my head.
"I prefer to think of myself as a deep thinker," he winked. "Not strange."