I prepared breakfast and sit on the chair. I opened my philosophy book for reviewing it , I was awake all night to finished the book and now I feel dizzy and sick, too bad. What if I can"t handle it?"did you be awake all night again? Didn"t I say" you should take more sleep?" he said, I looked at him.
When did he come?!
"I should get good grade in this exam, it"s important. I can"t let my body get over me and destroy my future just because I drunk poisonous milk." I drink my orange juice.
"do you know something if you die there will be no future to be worry about, so what is your idea about dying in that way you don"t suffer from life too?" he said with sarcastic. I looked at him and said "maybe you think I"m lying but I had few experience of dying and you know what I found in those experiences!....It was really interesting,and you know what make them more interesting?!" I looked at him, who was staring at me without any emotion in his Stanley blue eyes, he grinned and said" the way of dying.. "I smiled and said" right. I rather to die during studying and hardworking to achieve my goal and I have no problem with dying because of insomnia and lack of sleep... But I shy to die by poisonous milk. Do you understand what I mean?! " I hope you understand what I"m telling you. his emotionless glare became mischievous and one side of his lips go up with one of his eyebrow and said" Am I hearing these things from right person? A person who had few suicide attempts. What interesting morning? I think G.o.d blessed me for the rest of my day. "his words came out like knife but there was something in them which show he said them seriously without any sarcasm. How he know about my suicide attempt?he must saw my wrist.
" I wish G.o.d blessed my day, too. But I think today is one of my awful days. " I closed book and put it in my bag and stand up to clean the table.
"why you didn"t dressed in your formal dress of university?" he said.
"too curious about things that"s none of your business.." I said.
he came and stand near me to wash his gla.s.s.
"It"s my business because we should go somewhere after you take your exam. Anyway this dress is better than those black formal dress. I will wait for you out of university. Be on time." he left kitchen and me with lot of questions that take form in my head.
What? Where the h.e.l.l he want to go with me? What if someone send mens to crash him and instead that person crash me? What is going on? Do I gonna feel the death for second time in just a week? What cruel word. Did he mean by asking my opinion about dying? Oh G.o.d c.r.a.p.
I grabbed my bag and get out of kitchen.
I arrived university just in time and I didn"t have time to talk with Sara and Saman about what had happened. I should focus on test right now and Nothing else.
I feel my sight go black so I hurried and sit on one of chairs. I pushed my eyes with my two fingers.
Collect yourself it"s not time for giving up just after you told those words and sentences to Satan.
Don"t go to sleep during exam, it"s embarra.s.sing.
I breath deeply and start to examine the questions.