I made myself smile politely, and asked her how I could serve her.
She looked deep into my eyes, then shook her head, as if not finding something she"d been expecting.
Finally, she said, "In the pa.s.s, we talked about how I might repay you for saving me, about what might happen... if we lived."
I remembered, but said nothing. For some reason, I felt a bit of not-rational anger. All I wished was to be left alone, and it seemed that wish would never be granted. "Is this Tenedos"s idea?"
Anger flashed in her eyes, she began to snap an answer, then caught herself.
"Laish Tenedos pays my wages to make his desserts. No more." She stood. "Do you wish me to leave?"
I almost said yes. But there was one tiny bit of sense left, and I shook my head. She put her hand on my shoulder. After a moment, I put my hand over hers.
I felt little hunger, but forced myself to go to one of the dining halls and have a bit of soup. Then I walked in one of the gardens, not feeling the chill for the greater cold within, until it was quite late.
Jacoba was already in the great bed, carefully curled to one side. I undressed as quietly as I knew how, and slipped in beside her, lying on my side. I felt no pa.s.sion, no l.u.s.t, not much of anything in particular.
Her hand touched my bandaged leg, then moved up to my back and caressed it, not so much sensual as rea.s.suring. But the ice within me was too thick, and after a moment she sighed and rolled over. After a time her breathing became regular, and after a longer time, I slept.
The next day, Tenedos summoned me. "You remember I said yesterday that your congratulations from your domina was just the beginning?" He held up a sheaf of dispatches. "Here are special orders, sent by heliograph. You and I, and my staff and some of those who were with us on the terrible journey from Sayana, are requested by the Rule of Ten to attend them immediately, and give them a full accounting of the evils worked on Numantians by the barbarians of the Border States.
"We are to await the arrival of the paddleshipTauler, which will be dispatched within a few days," he went on, half-reading, "during which time we are to gather our strength and enjoy the comforts the city leaders of Renan have been directed to provide.
"Then we are to proceed directly to Nicias and await their pleasure." He looked up. "This is where it shall start, my friend. They thought they were sending me into exile or perhaps my death, but Saionji wanted something else.
"Now they shall be forced to listen to me and realize the time has come for change.
"I tell you, Damastes, none of those who died with us died in vain if it brings about the great renaissance I"ve dreamt of." He stood and paced back and forth excitedly. "Yes, I can sense it, I can feel it. This is the beginning."
I found polite words, but felt no inner thrill. But if Laish Tenedos, the Seer Tenedos, wished me to accompany him to Nicias, that was as good a place as any. Why not? Far from these mountains, perhaps the ice would melt. But it did not take that long.
That night, both Jacoba and I walked through the gardens. It was cold, and we wore heavy cloaks.
We found ourselves standing side by side under one of the huge trees of Urey. EvenX,though it was the Time of Storms, the monstrous multicolored leaves still clung to the branches. A few feet from us was one of the many sculptures the palace"s gardens were filled with. I paid it little mind.
Jacoba lithely pulled herself up onto a thick branch that curled a few feet above the ground, so her eyes were at the same height as mine.
The night was sharp and clear. I looked out at the mountains, the awful peaks that marked the border to the Border States.
As I watched, a shimmer grew on them, the borealis. Someone spoke to me, a voice of thunder, a voice of silence, and perhaps it was the voice of a G.o.ddess, perhaps the voice of a little girl. Perhaps it came from the G.o.ds, perhaps from my good, hard common sense.
What the voice said was not in words, but it was very clear.
The world is death, the world is nothing but pain and a desperate fight to avoid returning to the Wheel, and then an equally headlong rush to be taken by it.
If that is how you choose to see it that is the way life is and always shall be,the voice went on.But do you think Captain Mellet and his men wanted death? Didn"t they want life, want warmth, love, and the giggling embrace of a woman?
So Saionji took them, took them and the girl Allori. Does she also now own you?
"No," I said, and wasn"t aware I"d spoken aloud, vehemently, until Jacoba said "What?" in a startled manner.
"I"m sorry," I said, and turned away from the mountains and death and realized she was very close. Her lips were parted, and her breath was very sweet.
It seemed appropriate to kiss her, and so I did. Her arms fumbled for a moment, then found the entrance to my cloak and pulled me closer to her. I kissed her again, a very long kiss.
"I"m back," I said.
Somehow she understood, or appeared to.
"That"s good."
I opened my cloak so it covered us both and we held each other, me standing, her on the branch, for a very long time, without moving. I kissed her once more, and her legs came around me, and took me into another embrace.
It was warm, comforting, welcoming me, and I felt my spirits lift.
Jacoba giggled.
"What"s funny?" I asked.
"That statue."
I peered at it through the gloom, and was grateful for the darkness. I still had some innocence. The stone showed some G.o.d loving a nymph. He held her lifted above the ground, hands cupped around her b.u.t.tocks, her legs wrapped around him, and on both their faces were expressions of goatish glee.
"What"s funny about it?"
"Youknow a man carved it."
"How can you tell?" I wondered. "Other than it"s, uh, fairly exact."
"Ah, my handsome young cavalryman, but that"s where you"re wrong. It"s not exact at all."
"Why not?"
"Men aren"t that strong," she said. "At least not for very long. If anybody... even a G.o.d... tried to make love like that, he"d be sure to fall. Probably on her, too."
"Ah-hah," I said. "Further proof, my pastry chef, you should stick to matters of the kitchen, and not theorize wildly."
"Prove I am wrong," she said. "That is, if your leg is up to it."
"It"s not my leg that"s up," I murmured, as my hands slid beneath her cloak, and lifted her tunic, and her small b.r.e.a.s.t.s sprang against my palms, nipples hard and firm. I ma.s.saged them, while my lips sought hers, then kissed down the silk of her neck. Her breath came faster against my ear.
She wore some sort of belted kirtle, and her hands unfastened it and pulled it away, then busied themselves with the ties of my trousers.
I moved both my hands down her sides and across her stomach, fingers entering and gently caressing her."Sat gasped*pleasure. I slid my hands under her thighs and picked her up from the branch. Her hand held my c.o.c.k steady, and I let her slip down onto me, and she shuddered as I drove deep, breath shrilling, gasping and then she buried her shriek into the wool of my cloak as I shuddered and spasmed inside her.
We stood like that forever.
Then she murmured, "You cheated. You used the branch for a brace."
So I had, holding her against the tree as we drove together.
"You still haven"t proved you were right," she said.
Still inside her, I lifted her away from the tree and carefully knelt, until she lay on her cloak, mine serving as blanket. I felt myself growing strong, and moved within her. Her legs slid up around my waist and she lifted against me.
When we came back into the palace it was very late, and I was very glad no one was about, for we looked exactly like what we were, with damp leaves everywhere and clothes muddied in the most obvious places.
I was back from that dark realm of death and ice.
I sought Tenedos out the next morning to apologize as subtly as I could for not showing the proper enthusiasm for our summons to Nicias.
"The very man I was about to look up," he said heartily before I could speak. "Tell me, Damastes, poor lad, do you feel sick?"
"Not at all, sir."
"Oh dear," he said. "The disease you have is truly dreadful, since one of the signs is the carrier is unaware of his state."
I noted the smile on his face, and waited. I was becoming accustomed to Tenedos"s way of dealing with matters.
"So I am sick, sir. Why?"
"Sit down, and I"ll explain. What do you think will happen when we reach Nicias?"
I thought about it for a few moments. "Forgive me if I sound like a fool, sir. But I"d guess that the Rule of Ten want us to testify as to what happened."
"Of course. So they said in their orders. What comes next?" "Now I"m using some of what you told me, about them wanting to settle the Border States, and using you as a pretext for action. I"d guess they"ll mobilize the army and, as soon as the Tune of Dews permits campaigning, march south against Kait.
"As for us ... well, I suppose I"ll return to the Lancers, and you"ll do whatever you want."
"Let"s ignore us for the moment and go back to the former matter. Before this morning, I would have agreed with you as to the Rule of Ten"s intents. But I breakfasted with the domina of the Twentieth Heavy Cavalry this morning."
The Twentieth, the Lancers, and the Tenth Hussars were the three elite formations responsible for keeping peace along the border.
"I imagined," Tenedos continued, "that he would have been alerted to such a plan, or do I still not understand the military mind?"
"No, sir. You"re correct. Of course the Rule of Ten would send some sort of confidential missive to him, since his unit should be one of the first to take the field. If I were planning the campaign I"d use the Lancers to drive through Sulem Pa.s.s and the Twentieth to hold it, so soldiery from the flatlands could enter Kait with the fewest possible casualties."
"Well, he"s heard nothing. I gently sounded him about the matter, and he was most surprised he"d not been alerted, given what happened to us."
Anger flooded me. "Are you saying the Rule of Ten won"t do anything?"
"I"m afraid that may be exactly what will happen. They"ll be terribly outraged at the horror of it all, and then send some sort of threatening note, which Achim Fergana will ignore, and life will continue."
"Son of a b.i.t.c.h!" I said.
"Yes. I"ve often thought of our rulers in similar words."
"What about the Tovieti? What about Thak?"
"Ignore it and it shall go away. They"ve ruled Numantia for*!
generations with that policy. Why should things be different now?"
Tenedos still smiled, but his expression was utterly humorless. I controlled myself. Very well. If that was to happen, I was a soldier, and I would continue to serve. Politics were not my affair.
"What does this have to do with my being sick?"
"After I returned from my meal with the good domina, I considered the options. What I need is time, time to send some dispatches north."
"As you did when we recovered the dolls?"
"Exactly. Perhaps if I sound our horn quite loudly it shall be impossible to mute when we arrive in person. So I sent a message north to the Rule of Ten just an hour ago that you had fallen ill. I said that we would be delayed for a week, and apologized for the delay. Certainly I could not entertain the notion of coming without you, since you have knowledge of important military matters far beyond my ken, so the Tattler"s pa.s.sage can be put off for a few days."
The anger ebbed, and I grinned.
"Just how sick am I to be while you"re being a one-man symphony?"
"Quite invisibly ill."
He handed me an envelope.
"You mentioned once, back in Sayana, that you wished to spend time on one of the Ureyan houseboats. Well, it is not spring nor summer, but arrangements have been made."
"May I ask a favor, sir?"
"You need not," he said. "That also has been taken care of. I guess I can live without my desserts for a week." He looked down at his body, which was regaining its former sleekness. "Someone commented last night I was putting on weight. I suspect she prefers the emaciated look, but be that as it may.
"I want you to perform your disappearing act within the hour. There shall be an ambulance at the rear entrance to the palace to take you and Jacoba to your "hospital." "
I saluted him, and hurried off.
Jacoba had already gotten the message, and her case was packed. I"d seen her open but one, and asked her, as I rolled my kit, what was in the other.
"My cooking tools."
"Those two cases ate all you own?"
"All I wish to, right now. When the time comes to own other things, I shall know it, I believe. But at the moment I prefer to travel fast and quickly."
The week on the lavish houseboat floated past easily and quickly. I"m afraid we didn"t avail ourselves of many of the services that were available. The lavish meals were all too often eaten cold, the moment having seized us. Since Jacoba was not much more fond of drink than I, the expensive wines went untasted. Nor did we see much of the winter splendor of the lake, even though the crew moved us every day from place to place.
What we did was make love. Sometimes it was carefully planned, a building crescendo in one of the luxurious bedchambers. But it was as likely to be a sudden burst of pa.s.sion.