Seitokai no Ichizon

Chapter 11

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VOLUME 1

[5th Discussion ~ The Love-struck Student Council]

“Affection is not enough! True love requires that affection to become love!” (1)

As always, the president stuck out her tiny chest and spoke as if she were reading a line out of some book.

It was difficult to say why, but those sharp words seemed directed at me, and so I turned away. But the president took that opportunity to turn the conversation towards me. “Don’t you think so, Sugisaki?!” she proceeded to say… dammit. This d.a.m.n president who liked her witty sayings so much…

“Q, Quite true. Yes, you’ve really gotta have love.”

“Yeah, I know right?”

“Y, Yeah…”

“Right?”

“… Yeah.”

What the h.e.l.l?! What was up with this?! Alright, I admit it, I’m pretty shallow! I’m going for a harem! I’m just not sincere at all!

The president seemed incredibly pleased with herself and leaned back comfortably on her chair… d, dammit! Getting teased by the president was really frustrating!

“Ken~~, how strange seeing you lose to the president.” Snicker.

Right next to me, Minatsu gave me a rather unpleasant smirk as she whispered in my ear. Her face was really close to mine. I would usually be really happy about that, but… ugh, I just couldn’t enjoy it right now!

“That loli president always tries to take the moral high ground, and sometimes I just can’t argue back…”

“Ah, I know what you mean. The moral high ground is a pretty annoying place, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s like, ‘I know I’m wrong, but that’s not the problem!’ It’s because there are people who always try to act superior and take the moral high ground against you. And then those people lean back in their chairs and act all smug about it… exactly like what she’s doing.”

Both Minatsu and I looked at the president. She was sticking out her small chest and was giving off a pretty arrogant look… there were times when I would think that she looked cute when she was like that… but right now it just got on my nerves.

Mafuyu-chan, who was sitting diagonally across from me, added her opinion in with a low voice.

“Mafuyu also knows what you mean. Umm umm, it’s like how Mafuyu likes video games, but Mafuyu’s parents scold her. ‘Is there a point to beat that game and just ruining your eyes?’ they ask. I know they’re right, but… umm…”

“Ah, yeah. As long as I’m not causing anybody any trouble, I really don’t want to be told something like that. After all, I know that they’re right.”

“Y, Yes, exactly! Exactly!”

“Ah, I’ve gone through things like that too. For me… when I see no cars are coming across a street, I cross anyways, even if the light is red…”

“Certainly, from a legal perspective, that’s against the rules. But… it’s pretty ridiculous, isn’t it? Especially since my home town is in a rural place, and I have 30-20 vision… even if I look right and left, there are times when I can’t see any cars whatsoever all the way out to the horizon. But to wait at a traffic light even despite that… it just feels really empty and pointless, doesn’t it?”

“But if someone scolds you for it, you know they’re right, so you have no choice but to listen to their scolding, right? Ahh, yeah, I was wrong. I was wrong, but…”

As the Shiina sisters and I had our strange moment of harmony, Chizuru-san stopped her studying and chuckled.

“But violating the rules is no good at all.”

”Oogh…”

“Playing video games makes your eyes go bad, so you shouldn’t play too much.”

“Agh…”

“And you shouldn’t go across a crosswalk unless you check that the light is green.”

“Ugh…”

“Granted, I also play games in the dark, and I trust my own vision more than a streetlight. My own vision, which has been ruined by games!”

”You’re worse than all of us!”

People who preached what was right but made exceptions for themselves were the worst type of people. Chizuru-san… as always, you’re just… ugh, how should I put it…

At that point, the president finally recovered from her drunken state of self-congratulation. “Hyah,” she went as she got out of her chair.

And then, she wrote today’s agenda on the white board.

“’Regarding the disturbance of moral order in this school’… well, that seems like an unusually standard topic.”

Hearing me mutter that, the president spun to face me and gave me a smile.

“The fact that it’s standard is all the more reason for the student council to always take it seriously!”

“Ugh…”

Once again, she took the moral high ground… dammit, I seem to be at quite a disadvantage today. My horoscope must have been really terrible today. My blood type also probably had the worst fortune too. (2)

Chizuru looked at the whiteboard and c.o.c.ked her head to the side.

“But, shouldn’t we leave this type of thing to the Moral’s Committee? Also, the students at this school are relatively well-behaved, aren’t they? At least, when you compare them to the students at other schools, I think they definitely come up on top.”

Certainly, that was the case. There was Otobuki High School nearby, and I’ve heard that school was incredibly screwed up. Even when it came to other schools, I very rarely heard any good rumors about them.

And in the middle of all that, Hekiyou Private Academy stood as a blessed school. Maybe our traditional student council system had succeeded, but everyone seemed to have some semblance of morals even with little or no pressure from our side. There was a strong sense amongst the people here that the students should cooperate to improve the school.

That’s why the Moral’s Committee and the student council weren’t really that busy. The problems that did end up occuring were generally rather amusing ones, like those ghost story and Newspaper Club incidents from before.

And in a school like this, I really didn’t really think that there was any moral problem that the student council had to go out of its way to have an entire meeting about…

But, as if she was trying to breathe life back into this topic, the president spoke loudly.

“What are you saying?! There are definitely moral problems! In particular… there’s… uhh… boy and girl problems…”

“Boy and girl?”

I watched the loli president get red in the face while talking about those things, and I asked her to explain herself. She tried to keep calm on the outside before continuing. “Y, Yes, that’s right.”

“You probably don’t know just because you’re the vice president, but lately, I feel like I’ve started to see a lot more seducing and stuff going on in the hallways! You know… like… when a boy and a girl hold hands…”

“…? Is holding hands really that much of a problem?”

“I, It’s definitely a problem! It would be fine if they were alone, but… umm… to think they do that and walk down the hallway in front of a lot of other students… it’s improper! School is a place for study!”

“Hah…”

Thinking that maybe my love for eroge had made me insensitive to this kind of stuff, I looked around the room. However, as expected, Chizuru-san and the Shiina sisters didn’t look on board either. In the end, I felt that the president was definitely being a bit oversensitive.

Minatsu raised her hand, looking like she wanted to say something. It’s not like she really had to raise her hand… but the president pointed at her. “Go ahead, Minatsu-san,” she said, acting as if she was a teacher. Minatsu then spoke quite indifferently.

“Prez might not know this, but there are much worse things that happen around here, ya know? Just take a look in the school building after school. If you go to some of the more isolated places, you’ll probably not only find people kissing, but also people doing ****.“

“Wha-“

The president was at a loss for words. However, Minatsu didn’t stop.

“Well, I guess you could call that disturbing moral order, but it’s fine, isn’t it? And it’s not like they’re making trouble for anyone. Okay, so it is pretty awkward if you happen to walk past one of those scenes though… but that’s what they call love, ya know?”

At that point, I decided to back Minatsu up.

“That’s right, Prez. You know, in a few months you’ll have already fallen into my grasps, and so you’ll be yelling out for me even if it’s in the school building-”

“You’re getting kicked ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttt!!!!”

She screamed out while I was in the middle of my sentence. She continued with her face completely red.

“I, I, If I ever find people doing that kind of thing, I’ll kick them all out! I’ll force them out of school! T, That’s not normal! Where exactly do they think they are?!”

“It’s a place where you raise all kinds of flags-”

“Sugisaki, you be quiet! Don’t talk until the PlayStation 5 comes out!”

“That’s way too long!”

I had no idea when that was going to happen. She could have at least said PlayStation 4…

In spite of all that chaos, Chizuru-san spoke coolly and quietly.

“But Aka-chan, there’s not much you can do about that. This type of s.e.xual unrest isn’t unique to this school, so it’s not something the student council can just go out and stop.”

“We’re not stopping it! We’re eliminating it!”

“If you do that, I might be able to stick around, but most of the students here are going to disappear.”

“Well, there’s no helping that!”

“…… Aka-chan. It’s important for the student council president to try and fix moral issues, but she has to think about the needs of the students first. After all, she’s the president of the student council.”

“Oogh……”

Chizuru-san was being extraordinarily mature. The president also faltered… ugh. Why was my argument shot down so quickly…? The president’s tsun side sure was cruel.

“No, anybody and everybody would shoot you down.”

Once again, Minatsu retorted to me as if she knew exactly what I had been thinking. Ooogh… even though I love all the students here so much…

But the president seemed to not give in, even in the face of Chizuru-san’s argument. “No, it’s still not okay!” she yelled a second time. Chizuru-san seemed resigned. She put both her hands up in the air, and shook her head at us… almost as if she was saying “When Aka-chan gets like this, there’s just no stopping her.” The Shiina sisters and I sighed.

And then, having kept quiet this entire time, Mafuyu-chan timidly raised her hands. “Yes, Mafuyu-san,” said the president, and Mafuyu-chan began to speak quietly.

“M, Mafuyu isn’t really good when it comes to things like that, but… umm… I think maybe if people want to do it, we should let them…”

“People who want to do it?”

“N, No, I didn’t mean it like that!!”

At my question, Mafuyu flushed even redder than the president had. Her skin had always been almost sickly pale, so when she blushed, it was incredibly obvious. And also… sometimes, even for a moment, she was even more moe than the president… Ahh, how pleasant.

“Ya know, at times like these, I really feel like I want to kill Ken…”

Minatsu was mumbling something incredibly frightening, but I didn’t mind her.

“No, not good at all!” the president yelled. It was rare to see the president yelling at Mafuyu-chan, and Mafuyu-chan teared up in response…… Ahh, how moe.

“This is exactly why everyone says so much that young people are too into this kind of stuff! We have to stop it while we have the chance! If this gets any worse, kids will start getting pregnant left and right!” (3)

“But in the past, I think people got married at even younger ages…”

“A, Anyways!! Such things cannot happen in this school!!”

“And why is that?”

“Because I’m the president!”

”…….. Ah…”

At that point, everyone seemed strangely convinced. Staring at this loli president, it seemed to make sense. Certainly, such things shouldn’t happen here. A school that was managed by a president like this should be more pure and childlike. Certainly, we all couldn’t help but think that.

However…

“You might say that, but… Chizuru-san already mentioned this, but if you try to crack down on this kind of thing from above, it’s just going to get worse. There really is just no good way to deal with this, I think. Think about it, the reason that people actually do **** in school is because it’s taboo, right?”

“Huh?”

“It’s the same as it was with the ghost stories. Those people just want a thrill. So actually, if the student council gets worked up and tries to control this stuff, there’s always the risk that it’s going to have the opposite effect.”

“H, Hmm… that’s quite an unexpectedly decent point coming from Sugisaki…”

“It’s absolutely true! To not be able to do **** at school, that’s just ripping our dreams from us! Even though we’re finally in an eroge with a high school setting! If there aren’t any school situations in the ero CG, that would just be the worst!”

“… Although, I do get the feeling that if we expel Sugisaki, a lot of things about this school would get better…”

The president put a hand on her forehead. How rude. n.o.body else loves this school as much as I do! … I mean in a s.e.xual way though.

However, the president seemed really serious about this. Everyone in the room exchanged glances.

Hmm… I didn’t think we could get through this with our usual tricks…

I toned down my voice a bit and asked another question.

“But don’t you plan on falling in love?”

I was going to add “with me” to the end of that, but the president seemed really serious about this, so I decided to omit that.

“Hmm, let’s see…” the president mumbled.

“Even if I do, it would have to be a relationship where we know what is appropriate and what is not.”

“Well, that’s probably the technically correct thing to do…”

However… I get the feeling that “love” is precisely “love” because you lose sight of things like that. Well, granted, these things might differ from person to person, so there really wasn’t a right answer… it was a pretty difficult problem.

I’ve always thought this, but the types of problems this student council dealt with were primarily human problems, so there were never any clear answers. So really, anybody was qualified to be a member of the student council, but anybody who did it was going to have a hard time. Yeah… it was quite a problem.

I gave out a small groan, and Mafuyu-chan opened her mouth.

“B, But, umm… if they’re not flirting in the middle of cla.s.s, I think that’s not crossing the line… they might be doing that inside of the school, but, umm, when school ends, everyone is free to do what they want, I think…”

“Is that so? For me, I think that people should act as students as long as they are in their uniforms. Improper fraternization with the opposite s.e.x is no good…”

“Oooh…”

That was also technically correct. It was exactly as she said. There was definitely a big difference between making problems while you had a uniform on and making problems when you had your street clothes on.

Improper fraternization with the opposite s.e.x… huh? But who was the one who decided that it was improper? And if young boys and girls loved each other, then it was natural that they would crave each other’s bodies. Why was that necessarily always improper?

… Well, on the other hand, it’s true that a lot of people did it in part for fun, so I couldn’t take that stance too much. And it’s not like I could be sure whether someone was really doing it for fun or not.

“So, what does Prez want to do? You want to make love illegal or something?”

“I, I don’t want to go that far…”

The president faltered at my words. Well, maybe that was a bit of a mean thing to say… I was going to extremes too much.

“I just want people to know wrong from right…”

“………”

… Well… I guess I got a bit carried away with my joking around back there, but even I wouldn’t recommend that people flirt at school. Seriously. However… I do understand the other side’s arguments as well. That they aren’t causing trouble to anyone, so there’s no reason to try and restrain them.

Was there no good way to compromise here?

As I thought that, Chizuru-san suggested something while twirling a pen.

“Well, what if we hand out an official flyer from the student council warning people to be careful? Aka-chan, are you still unsatisfied with that?”

“H, Hmm…”

However, the president still didn’t seem satisfied. She crossed her arms and moaned.

“I don’t want to warn people… I want to ban it.”

“If you want to ban it, then that’s already covered by the school rules. If you get caught by the teacher in the act, you might get suspended even under the current set of rules.”

“B, But but, everyone just pretends that rule doesn’t exist!”

“But even if Aka-chan makes a new rule, wouldn’t it end the same way?”

“U, Uuuu…”

Pinned down by Chizuru-san’s argument, the president teared up.

The Shiina sisters and I both felt a tinge of sympathy for the president. Chizuru-san herself also seemed a bit troubled… I failed. I had pushed an unpleasant role onto Chizuru-san. I’ll have to go and reflect long and hard about this. It was unbecoming of a harem leader.

I took back control of the situation.

“Prez already said it at the beginning, right? That affection is only worthwhile when it becomes love. That’s where the problem is. Does Prez really want to crack down on people who honestly have romantic feelings for each other?”

“Uuu… T, That’s not what I want. B, But, I think there aren’t many students like that right now! They’re just having fun flirting, and I don’t see any love at all!”

“… Well, that’s true…”

The president might look and act like a child, but that gave her a measure of purity and innocence that allowed her to see the true nature of things. Certainly, there were very few couples at this school whose relationships could actually be called “love.”

And also, it’s not as if a couple had free reign to do anything just because they were truly in love. There was a definite meaning to the phrase “rules are rules.” But despite all that, just like with Minatsu’s traffic light example, I did understand how it could be frustrating to be not allowed to do something, even though you’re not causing anybody any harm.

What should we do? The president seemed really serious this time, so it was a difficult problem. We couldn’t just deal with it the same way we dealt with the ghost stories problem or the newspaper problem.

Perhaps she was trying to change the mood a bit, but Minatsu suddenly began to talk.

“Y, You know, I heard that the soccer team captain and the manager are going out. But that couple, they’ve already been going out for two months, but they still don’t even hold hands.”

“…… That sounds like quite a healthy relationship.”

The president mumbled. It seemed like that was her idea of an ideal relationship. Well… it’s not like I didn’t understand where she was coming from.

“Alright then…” I began.

“Prez, for example, do you think that it’s okay for college students to do ecchi things?”

“………… hmm… L, Let’s see… I still think that it’s not good to do stuff like that in school. That applies to people who work for companies too. Doing things like that at your school or your workplace… that isn’t good.”

“Even holding hands?”

“Not good.”

“What about after they go home?”

“That’s fine.”

“What about for high schoolers?”

“… Even after they go home, it’s a bit not good.”

“But for college students?”

“…… Yeah, that’s fine, I think.”

“I see.”

I think I pretty much understood what the president’s standards were. She was a prototypical serious person, but because of that she also had some pretty typical sensibilities.

“M, Mafuyu also thinks the same way as Prez… but, but but, there are people who don’t think like that. So, well, Mafuyu thinks trying to force them is… is not good…”

In a rare turn of events, Mafuyu clearly put forth her opinion towards the president. In response, the president once again sunk deep into thought with a pained expression.

Ah… this… this wasn’t good. This topic of discussion… was just not good. We weren’t getting anywhere. Sometimes we would have these types of discussions, and they would just take up a lot of time and end without anything ever being concluded. If that’s the case…

I made eye contact with Chizuru-san. And after that, I moved to act.

“I understand what Prez is trying to say. I think she’s absolutely right. What she’s saying is morally correct.”

“Y, Yeah, I know right?”

As if my support had restored her conference, the president’s eyes sparkled and she puffed out her chest. And then, Chizuru-san also came into the discussion.

“That’s true. Aka-chan’s opinion is absolutely correct. Let’s pa.s.s out a flyer, and urge caution at the next school-wide a.s.sembly. We’ll call the staff room too and ask them to be a bit stricter in policing this matter.”

“O, Okay…”

The president gave us a smile… but somehow, somewhere, she still didn’t look perfectly happy. Ah… dammit. She had heard too many different opinions, so that even though we had agreed with her original opinion, she now had her doubts about it… that was one of her good traits though.

The Shiina sisters also seemed quite sensitive to what was going on, and backed me and Chizuru-san up.

“I, I agree. There are certainly parts of it that just can’t be overlooked, so we should be more stern about it.”

“Y, yes. M, Mafuyu also doesn’t want to see things that are too weird…”

Hearing what those two had to say, the president seemed to slowly recover her strength.

“I, I know, right?! Everyone is just too sloppy these days! We have to be more stern!”

“Uwah, Prez is so cool!”

“Ahem! We’ll definitely be more stern about it at the next a.s.sembly!”

“…………”

That got me thinking. At an a.s.sembly… this pure and innocent president… was going to talk about s.e.xual indecency…

–

“E, Eberywaaan! Ah, I, I bit my tongue… ahem. E, Everyone. How are you? Isn’t the weather right now so nice and summer-like…? Just look at all that green… umm… n, nevermind that.”

“Y, You know, lately… umm… ahem. Lately, h, h, here at this school, I’ve seen some p, pretty shameless things! I, It’s not good I thinksh! … I thrinsh. A, Anyways, it’s not good!”

“E, Everyone, please make sure your relationships are healthy and wholesome!” Quick bow.

–

………

If I could describe that in one word, I would say that it felt really pink. I could just see everyone in the audience falling into a happy daze. (4)

That just wouldn’t do. Chizuru-san and the Shiina sisters seemed to have been imagining the same thing, and they were sweating.

Panicking, I suggested a plan.

“Y, You know, at the next school a.s.sembly! Umm… could I be the one to give the address?!”

“Fueh? Sugisaki? What’s wrong all of a sudden? Getting all worked up like that…”

The president stared at me blankly. I stood up from my seat and continued.

“I, It’s not like that! I mean, if someone like me does it, then actually I think an appeal like that would be much more effective! I mean, come on, if some harem idiot like me lectures you about this, wouldn’t you feel more serious about it?!”

“I, Is that so?”

“It is!”

The president faltered, and I drew close. Seeming to lose to the pressure, she gave me a “A, Alright, I got it,” and entrusted the next student a.s.sembly to me.

–

And thus, as all the people in the room exhaled a sigh of relief, we came to the chaotic conclusion that for some reason, the person with the most improper mindset in this school would be the one to inspire the students who were engrossed in their lovey-dovey relationships.

And so.

That brings us to the end of this episode.

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TRANSLATOR’S NOTES

(1) There is a bit of a pun here. True love here is “renai,” affection is “ren,” and love is “ai.” So she’s saying that to have “renai,” you need both “ren” and “ai.”

(2) Hilarious.

(3) Lol.

(4) He uses a weird sound effect here, which is probably best encapsulated by the following emoticon: （￣￣￣￣ ▽ ￣￣￣￣）

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