“Are you up, Onii-sama?”
Just like everyday, Maria is there.
Like everything that happened yesterday didn’t happen, sitting on the dining table calmly enjoying her breakfast.
“A, ahh.”
Could she be feigning her tranquillity? Like usual, it’s really hard to see through Maria’s poker-face and tell what she’s up to.
In the end, I grab my seat opposite of Maria and carefully grab my tableware.
“Speaking of breakfast, where is Dorothy?”
I asked, taking care not to tread on anything still sensitive from yesterday.
“Dorothy is away today on a health checkup, she went out sometime earlier this morning.”
“Oh…”
“Anything else you’d like to ask?”
“Well, no.”
Let’s eat, is what I wanted to awkwardly point out. I’m sure she’d realized.
But even so, this air of comfortableness remains the same.
It’s not like what happened yesterday is something that happened just because of a simple difference in opinion.
It’s just that I saw.
That side of Maria.
That fact will not change, and cannot change.
Fear and insanity.
The true face of 《The Princess of Pure Darkness》.
And to make it worse, it was me who outspokenly said stuff like I was afraid of her. At the very least, I’m aware of what Maria thinks of me, and I know what kind of meaning that has towards her.
“Hey, Maria.”
And so, I was the first one to break the uncomfortable silence and speak.
Even with a calm poker face like that, I know that inside her heart is burning away to cinders. Even if you were a stupid dense protagonist of a harem manga, you’d be able tell that.
“It’s fine, Onii-sama.”
But.
…Uh, huh?
“Please don’t mind what happened yesterday. This girl does not particularly mind.”
“Wh, what?”
Not mind, she says.
This girl here, is she really Maria?
At this unexpected response, I rub my eyes hastily and stare back at Maria.
Yep, staring.
“Huh?”
“Is something the matter?”
“No, I mean… Do you have your clothes on inside-out there?”
With the expression “what are you even talking about”, Maria glances down at her blouse. Lo and behold, her st.i.tch marks are visible.
“A, ah!”
Maria gets up in a panic and steps backward.
“Hey, you have your shoes mixed up too…”
“Hau?!”
Shock and fear, triple-hit-combo of shame.
And with a “T-then I’ll go get changed right away…” she quickly returns to her room. Wondering whether to remind her or not, I decide to speak once more.
“Your room isn’t that way.”
To make it worse, she crashes into a wall rather than go into “her” room and collapses weakly to the floor.
Uwa, this is serious business.
She’s in a total panic mode!
“A, Are you hurt? You alright?!”
I hastily get up from my chair and try to help Maria get up, who was still collapsed on the floor.
“I’m… fi…ne…”
And with that, Maria hangs her head low and shakes her shoulder to take my hands off her body.
“This girl here needs no a.s.sistance!”
I’m sure you don’t.
I knew there was something fishy about her when she said she was “fine”.
“So please… pay no attention to me! Surely Onii-sama doesn’t, doesn’t… like the kind of girl I’ve become!”
“Hey, what"s with that kind of pessimistic thinking?!”
Speaking in a tone of someone giving up on life, I can see tears glistening on Maria’s eyes.
“Even Onii-sama said you were "afraid" of me and disapproved me!”
“When did I ever say that I disapproved you?!”
“If that’s so, please explain what you said to me yesterday! I… I… Maria Lunalady Blackhazel have lost her will to live ever since her Onii-sama disapproved of her!”
This sight of Maria sniffling, saddened and unable to continue her words, is certainly not the sight of Maria I came to know and recognize.
“You idiot, what I disapproved was your twisted ways from before! Why are you a.s.sociating yourself with your methods?”
“Because, that is how this girl lives by!”
“Haah?”
“This way of living is the only thing this girl came to know! This is the only thing I could have learned! Nor father, mother, sister, nor anyone else taught me any other ways of living!”
Maria, unable to contain her emotions, exploded in a cloud of sadness.
Trespa.s.sing forward the boundary of emotions, Maria is sobbing uncontrollably, crying away. The sight of her leaves me in a state of panic, and I don’t know what to do.
“Yes! In this girl’s world, this is the only way of living! Where the strong terrorizes the weak, and where unless one reigns over others with power and fear, only pack of hyenas await, ready to swarm over the dead!”
…
And that, twisted and unexpected it is, was the terrifyingly persuasive reason behind Maria’s motives, protecting her will and opinions.
That is to say, logic of reality.
“To live, this girl had no choice but to choose this way of living! To live, this girl had no choice but to become the《Princess of Pure Darkness! 》! That’s why, that’s why…”
That was the secret of insanity lurking behind Maria, something I’ve never expected.
The reason.
Or, put in a better word, reality.
“Please… don’t disapprove of this girl…”
Ahh.
Was it so.
What I came to know until now as the《Princess of Pure Darkness》was only a husk of what it really was.
A façade of wolf skin this weak and vulnerable girl was forced to put on; to survive in this harsh reality she was in.
The little sister Maria, and the 《Princess of Pure Darkness 》Maria.
Reality becomes falsehood, and falsehood becomes reality.
I was wrong. No, I wasn’t just wrong. I was disillusioned to the point of idiocy. The fact that thought of Maria that way makes me feel disgusted and shamed beyond relief.
Silently, I take Maria’s pet.i.te body and embrace her with my arms softly.
“O-Onii-sama…?”
This is the only thing I can do.
The only respite I can offer for her.
“I’m sorry.”
Maria, right now, is shaking like an injured little bird inside my arms.
This girl, were her shoulders always this small?
Yes.
It wasn’t Maria’s fault.
Not hers, nor Lily’s. They"re all the same.
Even those girls, and even the 《Princess of Pure Darkness 》are only minuscule pieces of gear in this giant, cruel machine we call reality, stuck in between the gears as they’re crushed and sacrificed for the greater good.