「CHAPTER 8」
“…I"m hungry…”
Yos.h.i.+no opened his eyes to the sound of himself unconsciously speaking and
heard Hatori laugh with amazement.
“How is that the first thing you say when you wake up?”
He looked around thinking about what Hatori had said, but something seemed
strange. He was in his own bedroom at his own home. When in the world had he returned
home and how had he slipped into bed? Why was Hatori here?
What happened?
Yos.h.i.+no searched his memory and remembered that he had collapsed in the
conference room at Marukawa Shoten.
“I collapsed, didn"t I? I"m at home, right?”
“This is definitely your home and your own bed.”
“How did I get home?”
“I brought you home. It was difficult after you collapsed. I carried you to the
nearest hospital, they examined you and said that this happened because you are sick,
overworked, and didn"t get enough sleep, so they hooked you up to an IV.”
“Urgh…I caused you trouble…”
He felt bad hearing what had really happened from Hatori. As if the issue with the
ma.n.u.script wasn"t bad enough, now it seemed that he had caused even more trouble.
“You slept for about two whole days; sometimes waking up to ask for water.”
“Th- that long…?”
He was surprised that he had slept for two days, but at the same time understood
that perhaps because of that he now felt better. It seemed that his fever had gone down
and his terrible headache was gone also.
“How do you feel?”
“I"m completely fine now. My head doesn"t hurt and I don"t feel tired.”
The moment he said that, his stomach grumbled. Hearing that, Hatori gave a small
chuckle and stood up.
“Hold on, I"ll make you something.”
Hatori went to the kitchen, leaving Yos.h.i.+no alone to look around the room. What
he saw surprised him. Beside the bed lay a blanket and a cooling bag. A laptop and some
sort of doc.u.ments were also there as if someone had been working here until just now. A
half empty plastic sports drink bottle had a straw sticking out of it from which Yos.h.i.+no
himself probably had drank out of.
Could it be that he had looked after me the whole time...?
Then he noticed that he was wearing pajamas, but surely he must have been
sweating with fever, so they would be sticking to him, but they weren"t. Hatori must have
changed his clothes and wiped off the sweat from his body. He nervously lowered the
futon to check the pattern on his underwear and saw that it was different from what he
had remembered.
“You"ve got to be kidding me…”
Although that was something that had to be done, he became greatly embarra.s.sed
when he pictured how it must have played out.
He"s more like my mother than my lover…
Actually, his own mother didn"t even fuss over him that much. How could he face
Hatori after something like this? But he and Hatori had been going out for a year already,
so he shouldn"t feel embarra.s.sed about having Hatori see him naked. He should be feeling
“bad” about this because having his clothes changed while unconscious was not society"s
idea of “dating”.
…Has it already been one year…?
He felt like when he was twenty, time had not flown by as fast as it did now.
These past several years had gone by in the blink of an eye. Usually, once people become
lovers, they spend their first days constantly with each other and repeatedly go on dates,
but he felt like he didn"t see Hatori any more than usual, never mind constantly.
Whenever he saw Hatori it was pretty much only during business meetings and
during crunch time. There was nothing s.e.xy about this. If you count the amount of times
they had slept together it was less than the amount of fingers on both hands. In that sense,
that amount had not changed unless you count touching.
Ah, but…
Hatori now looked at him more tenderly than before. Yos.h.i.+no noticed that he
looked at him somehow sweetly and it usually made him involuntarily avert his eyes.
When he looked into those eyes, he felt tightness in his chest. This was probably because
Hatori"s eyes expressed his feelings more clearly than his words did. But Yos.h.i.+no
couldn"t reciprocate those same feelings. He liked Hatori. He wanted him to stay by his
side. As a childhood friend and as a best friend, he was an important person to him, but
sometimes, his feelings for Hatori greatly overwhelmed him. He felt bad about this, and
yet, he had feelings of doubt about their new-formed relations.h.i.+p. Nevertheless, he could
not live without the comfortable lifestyle that Hatori made possible for him.
It was selfish of Yos.h.i.+no. Although he knew this was a sly thing to do, he wanted
to keep Hatori"s affection all to himself.
“Yos.h.i.+no, are you sleeping?”
“Eh? Ah, no, I"m awake. I just s.p.a.ced out for a little.”
He quickly sat up when he heard Hatori"s voice. It seemed that he hadn"t noticed
Hatori"s presence because he had been lost in thought. On the tray, which was positioned
on the sideboard table, lay a small hot pot used for cooking rice porridge as well as other
condiments, and there was also hand made tsukudani and an omelet roll. The smell of
fluffy rice stimulated his appet.i.te.
“I tried to make a variety of things, but you don"t have to force yourself to eat
everything.”
“I"m hungry, so I"m gonna eat it all. I would have went over there if you called
me.”
Even someone as lazy as Yos.h.i.+no was would have carried himself to the dining
table if Hatori had told him to come.
“You"re recovering, so take it easy for now.”
Hatori adjusted Yos.h.i.+no"s pillow to align with his back, so it would be easy to eat
while sitting in bed. He wanted to thank Hatori for nursing him and being with him
during crunch time, but he was too engrossed with satisfying his appet.i.te now.
“Slow down a little. Eating too quickly is bad for your digestion.”
“I know.”
“Don"t talk with food in your mouth. It"s bad manners,” Hatori warned, but
Yos.h.i.+no couldn"t control himself. He was starving and the food tasted very delicious. It
had also been a while since he had eaten Hatori"s cooking. During crunch time all he had
eaten were instant food and frozen meals, so now he “felt like a new man” as they say in
literature.
“Haa- that was delicious! Thanks for the meal!”
He emptied the hot pot in a blink of an eye, and devoured the side dishes without
leaving anything behind.
“It was nothing. If you can eat that much, then you must be better now.”
“I think I can eat more.”
“Eating too much all of a sudden would upset your stomach, so don"t. You should
eat again later if you"re hungry,” Hatori explained as he prepared brown rice tea.
“Okay, okay.”
Yos.h.i.+no could almost taste the refres.h.i.+ng taste of the tea from the pleasant aroma.
“Haa – I"m happy the food was so good!”
“I"m glad. Here, drink some medicine. You have to take it after every morning
and evening meal, so don"t forget to take it tonight.”
“Mhm, okay.”
After he drank the powder packet medicine with hot water, he sipped the brown
rice tea again to kill the after taste.
“Yep, eating delicious food and lying around is true happiness.”
“I agree about the delicious food, but I don"t know about lying around. Don"t talk
like a slacker.”
“You know what? I just want to enjoy this moment, okay?”
Yos.h.i.+no inadvertently looked at the calendar as he drank the brown rice tea, and
then his eyes paused on a date. It bothered him that the date was vigorously circled.
What was it….? Seems like I forgot something…Oh! Hakone!!
He had talked with Hatori about wanting to go on a trip to Hakone the following
weekend after he was done with the ma.n.u.script. They were to go early in the morning on
Sunday, leave early in the morning the next day and go straight to the company, so their
plan to stay one night should have all worked out, but when he looked at his digital
wrist.w.a.tch, he saw that this planned day was tomorrow.
“He- hey, Tori.”
“Hm? Do you want another cup of tea?”
“No! Um, what should we do about tomorrow…?” Yos.h.i.+no nervously began, and
Hatori softly said with a calm look on his face.
“I know we planned a trip, but you"re still recovering even if you do feel better
now. You need to rest at home this weekend.”
“But…”
Yos.h.i.+no knew just how much Hatori had been looking forward to the trip, having
planned it all himself, so he felt bad about this. He felt guilty for going on a trip with
Yanase two times already and leaving Hatori behind, so he felt ashamed for breaking his
promise now. Besides, Yos.h.i.+no himself wanted very much to go also.
Now that he thought about it, he hadn"t gone on a trip with Hatori since that trip
after they had graduated from university. Although they were going to stay for only one
night, Yos.h.i.+no had looked forward to this trip from the bottom of his heart, so he didn"t
want to simply give up on it.
“It"s alright. I"m feeling fine already. Let"s go like we planned.”
“You didn"t do the plot. Just stay at home this time.”
Before the trip, Yos.h.i.+no was supposed to finish the plot for the upcoming
ma.n.u.script, but because he had been asleep the whole time, he obviously didn"t do it, but
still, it was annoying to have to cancel their plans because of this.
“You"re always like this! Only work, work, work!”
Yos.h.i.+no was dissatisfied and angry at how stubborn Hatori was being.
I just finished the previous ma.n.u.script, I should get at least a little break…
Hatori lectured while Yos.h.i.+no pouted.
“What can you do? You"re a working person, so naturally work is your top
priority.”
“But what"s the point of work then? Right now, you"re saying that we live to work.
And seriously, all we ever do lately is talk about work! At least it"s exciting to talk to Yuu
cause we can talk about our hobbies.”
Hatori responded to Yos.h.i.+no with silence. By the look in his eyes, Yos.h.i.+no could
tell that Hatori was getting displeased.
Oh no…are we gonna get in a fight again…?
He had blurted out something insensitive again, and his heart pounded with
antic.i.p.ation, but Hatori didn"t snap at him, only sighed.
“Anyway, you have to still stay in bed. What would you do if you got sick again
from being too careless?” Hatori said as he put on his suit jacket, which hung on the wall,
after he had cleared away the tableware.
“I"m going to the office, so you just stay in bed.”
Hatori gathered his doc.u.ments and laptop and quickly started to head out.
“You"re leaving already?”
“A lot of work has piled up…You don"t have to get up. You can just see me off
siting in bed like that.”
“I"ll be fine if I get up for just a second. Besides, I laid in bed for two days, so I
can"t sleep for a while.”
Barefooted, Yos.h.i.+no followed Hatori.
“Lets see, I made rice in the rice cooker, so eat that at night. I"ve prepared several
side dishes, which should last you the weekend. Ah, turn off the rice cooker warm setting
right away. Take medicine after meals. If you need anything else, just reach me on my
cellphone.”
“I got it, I got it. I"ll eat if I"m hungry. I"ll turn the rice cooker switch off and take
my medicine.”
Hatori was very fussy. Yos.h.i.+no knew he himself was to blame for his own
careless lifestyle, but Hatori didn"t have to be this nagging.
“I have no choice but to trust you…Well, I"ll be going.”
“Mhm, see you later. Here, your bag.”
Yos.h.i.+no handed Hatori his bag, which he had placed on the agari-kamachi in
order to put on his shoes. This scenario reminded Yos.h.i.+no of something, and he stared at
Hatori"s face.
“Oh, yes. Thank you.…Is there something on my face?”
“No, I just think that this kind of makes us like newlyweds.”
It seemed like he was a wife seeing off her husband. Yos.h.i.+no said this jokingly,
but Hatori gulped slightly and gazed at Yos.h.i.+no"s face. After that, he frowned deeply and
covered his mouth with his hand.
“Honestly, you…”
“What?! Are you embarra.s.sed? So Tori gets embarra.s.sed too-”
His teasing was cut off. Hatori quickly pulled Yos.h.i.+no"s face to his and began
devouring his lips; then he licked his tongue for a second.
“……!”
This sent s.h.i.+vers through Yos.h.i.+no and almost made him sigh sweetly, so he
quickly covered his mouth with his hands. After Hatori pulled away and licked his own
lips, he muttered his own irrelevant thoughts.
“Omelet was too sweet, huh?”
“You…!”
“Let me correct you on one thing, though. I"m more like the wife. Who do you
think does the house ch.o.r.es in this place?”
“I was giving you a simile!”
Had Hatori kissed him just now as revenge or something rather than protesting by
saying he hadn"t been embarra.s.sed?
“I"m leaving. Be a good boy.”
As Yos.h.i.+no sulked, Hatori tapped Yos.h.i.+no"s head and left. Yos.h.i.+no pouted his
lips. He could still feel the sensation of the kiss and muttered to hide his embarra.s.sment.
“Geez, he"s such a workaholic…”
From the sound of his own voice, he noticed that he sounded disappointed
because he had been looking forward to the trip. Feeling a little embarra.s.sed because of
this, he looked around his home, deciding it needed a clean up after the crunch time. But
it looked like it wasn"t necessary since it was already tidy everywhere. The dishes he had
just used to eat with were already washed as well and there were side dishes prepared
inside the hotpot and refrigerator. On top of the dinning table lay a supply of Yos.h.i.+no"s
favorite sweets.
“Oh, he did the laundry for me too…”
The laundry was neatly folded and stacked in a pile on top of the sofa and exactly
how he wanted it.
He"s too sweet to me…
It was good that Hatori did everything before Yos.h.i.+no made fun of him.
A person can"t be independent when he is sick, right?
“Huh? This is……”
A large envelope about A4 size was hidden next to the laundry. Yos.h.i.+no picked it
up, looked at it, and saw Kadokawa Shoten"s Log printed on the front. But Yos.h.i.+no didn"t
remember placing the envelope there himself. So that meant Hatori had forgotten it.
If he needs this for work, he"ll be in trouble if he doesn"t have it, won"t he?
Quickly, he tried to call Hatori"s cellphone, but reached voice mail. Perhaps, he
was already on the subway? Having no other choice, Yos.h.i.+no decided to call the editing
department. He dialed the number from the telephone book, since he usually never called
there and didn"t remember it from memory, and picked up the phone receiver. Because
not many people knew Yos.h.i.+no"s true ident.i.ty, he usually called Hatori"s cellphone when
he had some business to take care of. As he listened to the repet.i.tive mechanical ringing
sound, he suddenly remembered something.
Ah, he said he was going to the company, but today is Sat.u.r.day.
On top of that, it was the weekend immediately after the approval of the
ma.n.u.script. He didn"t think there would be people in the editing department. Right when
he was about to hang up, the ringing sound stopped, and he heard a familiar voice.
“Emerald Editing Department.”
“Ah! Umm, this is Yos.h.i.+no.”
He was surprised that editor-in-chief Takano answered the phone even though it
was a non working day. He couldn"t help but think that he should be resting at least the
weekend after the approval.
“Ah, Yos.h.i.+no-san. This is Takano. I"m glad to see you"ve woken up. How are you
feeling?”
“I"m fine now. I"m sorry I caused you trouble. Please give my thanks to Onoderasan
as well.”
He took this good opportunity to thank Takano. Collapsing at the company must
have caused a lot of trouble for Takano and Onodera.
“No, I"m the one who is sorry for asking such a big favor from you. I"m relieved to
see you"re well now. By the way, how may I help you today? If you need Hatori, he"s not
here yet.”
“Ah, well, Hatori was just here at my place, but he forgot something, so I thought
I should let him know. I can"t reach his cellphone since he"s probably on the subway right
now, so I called here…”
Takano immediately understood when Yos.h.i.+no summarized the situation. Takano
asked him an easy to answer question, because Yos.h.i.+no wasn"t good at explaining things
or answering things.
“I see. What did he forget?”
“Looks like some kind of doc.u.ments. They’re inside an envelope, so I don’t know
what"s inside. If it"s something you need for today, I could bring it over there.”
“What are you saying? You"re recovering, Yos.h.i.+no-san. Hatori said he was going
to come to work tomorrow as well, so if you send it to us through the pick-up home
delivery, we"ll get it in time.”
“Eh? He"s going to work tomorrow, too!?” Yos.h.i.+no raised his voice, surprised by
what Takano had said. Even though Yos.h.i.+no had been asleep with a cold, that was still
the day they were supposed to go on a trip. Yos.h.i.+no was shaking with anger, because
judging from what Takano had said, it seemed that Hatori had already made plans to go
to work.
“He didn"t tell you that? Yesterday and the day before yesterday he took the days
off, so his work has piled up.”
“Days off…?”
What slipped out of Takano"s mouth, caught Yos.h.i.+no off guard. He couldn"t
believe that a workaholic like Hatori would take days off. As far as Yos.h.i.+no knew, Hatori
had never taken any days off from work no matter how sick he felt.
“Yes. He said he was worried, so he was going to stay with you until your fever
went down, Yos.h.i.+no-san.”
“Is that true?”
“…Ah, I"m sorry, please pretend you didn"t hear this just now. He forced me to
keep quiet about this,” Takano softly responded to Yos.h.i.+no, who was trying to further
pursue the matter.
“Eh? Keep quiet? Hatori said that?”
“Anyway, I will notify Hatori when he comes in. Yos.h.i.+no-san, please get some
rest. Keep doing your best starting tomorrow. I look forward to your next work.”
“I- I"ll do my best.”
“Then, excuse me.”
“Ah, yes.”
Takano hung up without giving Yos.h.i.+no a moment to let the information sink in.
A robotic beeping tone fruitlessly echoed into his ear. As Yos.h.i.+no put back the phone
receiver, his shoulders fell, and he hung his head down in self-hatred.
…It was my fault…
The reason Hatori looked tired and couldn"t go on the trip was his fault. Because
Hatori had taken care of him while Yos.h.i.+no was sick, his work had piled up so much that
he had to work on a day off. On top of that, Hatori didn"t tell him the truth because he
probably didn"t want to worry him. The fact that he forced Takano to keep quiet about
this meant he planned on keeping this a secret.
But I…
He had verbally abused Hatori because he said that he wouldn"t go on the trip.
Hatori didn"t even say anything rude back to Yos.h.i.+no and just told him to take care of
himself.
“I knew it. I"m so worthless…”
Never mind properly thanking Hatori for taking care of him, Yos.h.i.+no had not
even said anything considerate to him. Hatori was too sweet to him even for them being
friends. That was because Hatori"s primary role was to be his childhood friend and lover,
not his “mother”.
“……….”
Overwhelmed with regret, Yos.h.i.+no firmly bit down on his lip. It didn"t seem like
he was going to get over how careless he had been any time soon.