「CHAPTER 11」
Managing to somehow finish the ma.n.u.script, Yos.h.i.+no could relax as he saw off
the motorbike delivery service.
“Why am I so useless…”
He was doing great for a while, so he expected for this to be the fastest he"s ever
worked, but in the end, he just barely finished the ma.n.u.script once again. This time, the
biggest reason for this had been because of Yanase"s confession. Yos.h.i.+no had spent all
his time deeply thinking about it and didn"t do as much work as he had meant to do.
I suck for not being able to separate private matters from work during such times.
He had gone to the workshop without completing his work and wondering
whether Yanase"s confession was a fact. He was thinking that perhaps the confession had
been a bad dream or some sort of joke, but as he left the workshop, Yanase reminded him
"Make sure to think it over" and this confirmed that it really had happened. The
ma.n.u.script not being complete was a problem he had to face.
But before that….
It was true that he was worried about the thing with Yanase, but first he wanted to
solve the misunderstanding he had with Hatori. He didn"t know whether Hatori was
sulking or angry, but when Hatori was in a bad mood he always secluded himself from
everyone, kept everything to himself and just cleaned.
Yos.h.i.+no had to clear up this misunderstanding before Hatori became deadlocked.
Determined to do just that, Yos.h.i.+no decided to send Hatori a text message. He had to be
the one to start the conversation otherwise this issue would just remain unsettled. Being
the coward he was, Yos.h.i.+no had to pursue Hatori right away or else he would get cold
feet and back out from it all.
“Let"s see: "I need to tell you something, so I"ll be waiting at your place. Come
straight home when you"re done with work." Is this okay? Alright, send.”
The screen on his cellphone changed to signify that the message had been sent.
Yos.h.i.+no hoped that Hatori would come home from work by the end of the day.
Anyways, I have to go to his place.
If he sat around at home like this, his resolve would waver. He had to strike while
the iron was still hot, as they say. That"s why Yos.h.i.+no immediately headed towards
Hatori"s place. When he reached the apartment complex, which took him about fifteen
minutes on foot, the sun had completely set, and it had become dark out. He entered
Hatori"s apartment with the spare key and muttered as he turned on the lights inside the
dark room.
“Well, of course he"s not home yet.”
Being familiar with the place, he went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.
Sure enough, there was a row of light beer. He took one for himself and migrated towards
the sofa as he pulled the tab to open the can.
“Haa-! A can of this after work is the best!”
He talked to himself, deliberately attempting to cheer himself up because he
wanted to get rid of his nervousness. Just then, the cellphone in his b.u.t.t pocket vibrated.
“Oho!”
He almost spilled the beer as he jumped up from surprise.
My phone was in there the whole time?
He quickly set down the can on the table and took out his phone from his pocket.
When he opened it and looked, he saw that he had one message.
“Is it Tori?”
Just as he thought, it was a reply from Hatori. "I just left the office" it read. It was
brief. How fitting of Hatori. This meant that he would return in an hour. Then suddenly
the home phone rang. As Yos.h.i.+no wondered whether he should answer it, it switched to
the answering machine, and the fax began to run.
“What? A fax?”
Thinking it would end soon, Yos.h.i.+no continued to sit on the sofa, drinking light
beer and watching t.v., but eventually turned around to suspiciously look towards the
sound of the never-ending printer.
“Isn"t that too much?”
Since the fax wouldn"t stop, Yos.h.i.+no picked up the papers that the fax machine
spit out and apologetically looked at them without permission.
“What? Umm…"I received the design, so I will forward it as I was told"…This is
from the editing department!”
The papers looked like they contained the special-feature article, which was to be
issued in the upcoming magazine. He gathered the scattered papers and placed them on
the dining table.
Does he plan on working even at home…?
He knew Hatori was busy, but he ought to rest when he came home. If Hatori
worked himself so much to the point of destroying his health, he would lose everything.
“Well, whatever. I"m gonna go take a bath.”
The fact that Hatori had left the office just a while ago, meant he won"t be back
for nearly one hour. Yos.h.i.+no concluded that, located his spare change of clothes, which
he kept here, and headed towards the bathroom.
* * * *
“-ey, Yos.h.i.+no. Yos.h.i.+no!”
“Hm…?”
“I said get up.”
Yos.h.i.+no raised his heavy eyelids to the sound of his name being repeated. After
blinking several times, his eyes traveled around the room and stopped at Hatori who was
looking down at him. Hatori"s face twitched.
“Ah…welcome back…,” Yos.h.i.+no said with a yawn and Hatori further furrowed
his brow.
“You have some nerve. Sleeping with that idiotic look on your face after calling a
person to come meet you…”
“Well…sorry, sorry. I just got a little sleepy.”
Yos.h.i.+no quickly sat up, and gave a wry smile as he straightened himself. He had
another light beer after taking a bath and ended up falling asleep like that on the sofa. He
was still tired from the crunch time, but somehow Hatori"s apartment relaxed him. This
was most likely because everything was always properly organized here and made him
feel at home. Besides, he also felt that it was unnecessary to do work when he was here.
Hatori took off his suit jacket and sat down beside Yos.h.i.+no.
“So, what did you need to tell me?”
Hatori got straight to the point and this made Yos.h.i.+no nervous again.
“Ah, well it"s, umm…why don"t you take a bath first? The bath is full.”
“Don"t forestall; get to the point. You said you had something to tell me, so I
stopped my work and came here.”
“I"m- I"m sorry…”
The mountain of papers from the fax was probably what Hatori had planned on
finis.h.i.+ng at the office. Thinking where he should begin, Yos.h.i.+no couldn"t straighten out
his thoughts, because he had just woken up. As Yos.h.i.+no searched for the words to say,
Hatori began to speak first.
“…I kind of know what you want to say.”
“Eh?”
“You want to end this, right? Our relations.h.i.+p.”
Hearing this out in the open, Yos.h.i.+no knew right away that his fear had not been
in vain. It seemed that Hatori had misunderstood after all.
“Not exactly, I….”
“Don"t play dumb. You came here today to tell me that, didn"t you? Well, of
course it must have been hard for you to tell me that sooner.”
“I told you you"re wrong!”
“Don"t worry about it. It"s not like you,” Hatori said, a smile of a little bit of selfridicule
played on his lips. Yos.h.i.+no furiously denied it, but it seemed that nothing he said
could reach Hatori"s heart anymore. He had to somehow clear up this misunderstanding,
but words weren"t going to do anything, because Hatori had become stubborn.
“How am I wrong? It"s true that you"re forcing yourself even right now, isn"t it?”
“……!”
Yos.h.i.+no wouldn"t quite say that he wasn"t forcing himself. But even if he was
forcing himself, it wasn"t like he was doing this because he had no choice. Yos.h.i.+no was
pus.h.i.+ng himself because it was something that he had decided to do himself.
“You were straight from the start, weren"t you? You"ve dated girls until now so
your relations.h.i.+p with me is unnatural. You hoped that perhaps this would end someday.”
“Don"t say that it"s unnatural! It"s my own choice that I-”
“I know that,” Hatori quietly interrupted. Hatori"s pained smile irritated Yos.h.i.+no.
“You know what…? What do you know about me!?”
“We grew up together as childhood friends, so of course you"re nice to me. I
pushed my feelings on you and confused you.”
“What are you saying, Tori…”
“You didn"t even realize that you felt sorry for me. Besides, we practically have
nothing to talk about other than work. It"s much more fun for you to be with Yanase than
to talk to me, isn"t it?”
“That"s…”
It was fun to talk to Yanase because they shared the same hobbies. Yos.h.i.+no
himself had said that, but he had just been letting out his anger back then. The truth was
that he wanted to talk to Hatori; talk about things other than work. He would be fine if
they could share their opinions on books and T.V. dramas, or even just talk about a cat
they happened to see during shopping. Yos.h.i.+no wanted to say that he wanted to talk some
more about silly things like they had done in the past.
“I thought about bringing this up sooner, but I"m a coward. I was scared of
confronting you, so I ran away,” Hatori spoke with self-contemplation and had a small
smile of self-ridicule. Hatori"s words were facts. However, they were spoken from only
one perspective.
How do you think I feel…?
Unable to suppress his anger, Yos.h.i.+no bit his lip. But it seemed that Hatori
mistook Yos.h.i.+no"s silence as an agreement with what he had said.
“I"m ready. You should hurry up and end it with me.”
Yos.h.i.+no had enough with the way Hatori was acting; being all calm even while
talking about breaking up.
“Oh my G.o.d, shut up! That"s not it at all!!”
“Yo- Yos.h.i.+no…?”
Hatori"s good-looking face changed to a surprised expression when Yos.h.i.+no
suddenly bl.u.s.tered that out. He finally showered the silent Hatori with questions.
“You think I would f.u.c.k a man out of pity or because I was confused!? Why
would I force myself to keep kissing someone I thought of as only a childhood friend?
Especially when I"m the so-called "straight"! You think I"ll get hard for men other than
you!?”
“N- no…”
“This is clearly my fault, too, but if you were thinking about this the whole time,
then you should have just spit this stuff out! Don"t get all mopey and selfishly decide
people"s feelings on your own!”
“You-”
“So…d-do you get it?”
“Ye- yeah…”
Perhaps being taken aback my Yos.h.i.+no"s angry outburst, Hatori nodded
dumbfounded. Yos.h.i.+no felt choked, because he had said everything in one breath. His
shoulders heaving, Yos.h.i.+no slowly began to calm down.
…Was that okay……?
Although Yos.h.i.+no had dropped a hint, was it enough to convince Hatori? He had
tried to be clear, but it was probably not clear enough. His face began to feel hot with
embarra.s.sment as he thought about what he had said. From the very start he had not
wanted to part with Hatori, so that"s why he now wholeheartedly tried to prevent him
from leaving. Even when they slept together, he endured his embarra.s.sment and accepted
it, but in his heart, he had not once felt disgusted. Although he felt embarra.s.sed to expose
all of himself, he rather liked the comfort of body heat and the pleasantness of being
touched.
Uwa…I think I like Tori more than I"ve thought…
Yos.h.i.+no felt fl.u.s.tered inside when he thought of something as major as this. Then
Hatori asked him with a serious look on his face.
“Yos.h.i.+no, can I think of that as your confession?”
He sounded somewhat cautious but looked rather happy.
“…Tch, shut up! You"re a shoujo manga editor, so what do you think!?”
“Hey, watch it.”
Yos.h.i.+no hurled a cus.h.i.+on he had been resting on up until now and also hurled the
words he had told Hatori before. However, seeing that Yos.h.i.+no himself was poor at
reading the atmosphere, he felt like he had no right to expect Hatori to know just because
he was a shoujo manga editor. But Yos.h.i.+no couldn"t afford to think calmly right now.
G.o.d, I"m such an idiot!
Unable to stand his own embarra.s.sing remark, Yos.h.i.+no suddenly got up off the
sofa.
“Where are you going?”
“To the balcony to cool my head!”
It wasn"t his head that needed cooling but more like his flushed face, however, he
said that because he didn"t want it to seem like he was embarra.s.sed because of what he
had said. He made towards the gla.s.s balcony, but before he could open the curtain, Hatori
grabbed him. Hatori hugged him from behind, his arms around Yos.h.i.+no"s waist.
“What… are you doing…?”
“You"re about to stand in the cold night wind, what will you do if you catch a
cold?”
“I won"t! Let go!”
Yos.h.i.+no tried to get away so that Hatori wouldn"t discover that he was trembling,
but there was nothing he could do because Hatori had grabbed him. He felt the body heat
on his back, and it made his already hammering heart pound further.
“Your heart is beating fast.”
His violent heartbeat was discovered when Hatori pressed himself to Yos.h.i.+no"s
chest. Trying to somehow cover this up, Yos.h.i.+no frantically gave an excuse.
“Tha- that"s cause you are doing strange things all of a sudden!”
“I"m not doing anything yet.”
“Yet!? Just what are you thinking to do here!?”
“I think I need to meet up to your expectations.”
From behind, Hatori traced the outline of Yos.h.i.+no"s body with his hand as he
announced that. Because he had just come out from the bath he was wearing only a thin ts.h.i.+rt,
so he could clearly feel the touch of Hatori"s fingers.
“Wait…stop. Stop!! Ah, hey, just where are you touching!?”
Hatori rubbed him until Yos.h.i.+no stretched out the waistband on his shorts as far
as it would go. He immediately became aware of what was happening to him down there.
The lower center of Yos.h.i.+no"s body had begun to heat up even when he just thought
about being touched down there.
“I bet you"re sorry for saying such provoking things.”
“Not really……Ah!”
Hatori pressed his lips on the nape of Yos.h.i.+no’s neck and rubbed along it. It
became difficult for Yos.h.i.+no to talk, because he was trying to suppress his voice so as not
to let out a strange cry.
“You smell like my shampoo. You took a shower on purpose and waited for me
because you wanted to do it, right?”
“The- there wasn"t time to take it at my place…”
Even though this was the reason he gave, it just sounded like he was giving an
excuse to get out of this situation. His body trembled sweetly as he said stop.
“It"s been a while. Don"t run away.”
“I"m not running away! Think of where you are!”
“I see. But how can I stop now?” Hatori whispered these cruel words and pressed
his heat against Yos.h.i.+no from behind.
“……!”
Yos.h.i.+no swallowed. That part of Hatori had already become hard and excited.
“After you take care of this, I"ll take you over to the bed.”
A s.h.i.+ver went down Yos.h.i.+no"s spine at the sound of Hatori"s voice mixed with
heated breath. Usually, Hatori"s voice was stiff and unwavering, but only at a time such
as this did it carry sweetness. Yos.h.i.+no thought it was unfair, but he didn"t hate it.
“Turn this way, Chiaki.”
“……….”
Hatori turned him around in his arms. When Yos.h.i.+no stood there unable to look
up because of embarra.s.sment, Hatori scooped up his chin and softly pressed his lips to
his.
“Mm……”
He liked being kissed by Hatori. It was powerful but somehow gentle. Yos.h.i.+no
knew that Hatori was desperately controlling himself. The fact that there was a slight
hesitation in Hatori even now when he was in pa.s.sion meant that Hatori was still in his
right mind. Hatori was a stubborn man so he probably didn"t fully believe what Yos.h.i.+no
had told him a while ago.
Hatori was getting worried again and will probably try to leave Yos.h.i.+no. If that
happened, Yos.h.i.+no would just prevent him from leaving again.
“Chiaki, open your mouth.”
“Haa…mm…ngh…”
The moment he parted his lips, Hatori"s tongue slipped inside. This forced his
mouth to open wider and their tongues intertwine.
“Ngh…fuu……mm…”
Hatori pressed him to the window behind the closed curtain and the metallic
sound of the blinds resonated. Their silhouettes could surely be seen from the outside, but
they couldn"t turn back now. As they devoured each other’s lips, their breaths melted
together and their saliva mixed into one. It was hard to breathe, so it wasn"t certain which
one of them broke the kiss, but when it happened, Yos.h.i.+no saw that Hatori"s cheeks were
also slightly flushed. Yos.h.i.+no licked his wet lips and swallowed.
“…Take care of it? What should I do?” Yos.h.i.+no asked, even though he already
knew the answer.
“You"re a man, you know,” he received a cold reply.
He wasn"t sure if he was being tested, if there was a leeway out of this. It seemed
that he had no choice but to try to read Hatori"s thoughts.
“I- I"m not good, so don"t complain…”
“I won"t.” Hatori quietly laughed.
Yos.h.i.+no swallowed again, and nervously took hold of Hatori"s belt. He unbuckled
the clasp and unb.u.t.toned the b.u.t.ton on Hatori"s slacks. Then, with shaking fingers, he
lowered the zipper and took hold of the elastic part on Hatori"s underwear. He felt like his
violently beating heart was urging him to hurry. He couldn"t calm down. Holding his
breath, he put his hand inside and touched Hatori"s heat.
Wow…
It felt the same as his own, but it was different in heat and size. Although he had
seen it many times, he felt a little shy when he actually touched it. However, Yos.h.i.+no
held in his embarra.s.sment and wrapped his fingers around it. It was mortifying to always
be the only one being played around with, so he boldly began to move his hand around
the ma.s.s.
“……!”
Yos.h.i.+no"s own heart throbbed when he heard Hatori grunt. Yos.h.i.+no slowly
rubbed the surface of the underwear, and it grew harder.
He knew he should do it the way Hatori had done it to him but doing it to a person
made him uncomfortable. He nervously pulled out the erection from the underwear and
tried to quicken his hand. He paid attention to Hatori"s appearance, wondering if he was
making him feel any good. Then, Hatori removed his hands from the window and slid
them down Yos.h.i.+no"s body.
“Ngh! Wait…!”
“It"s unfair for only me to feel good, isn"t it?”
“Yeah, but…!”
Hatori rubbed Yos.h.i.+no"s b.u.t.t and waist and pressed his lips to Yos.h.i.+no"s forehead.
Being touched like this made him lose all concentration in his fingers. But Hatori pulled
out Yos.h.i.+no"s erection and rubbed his own on top of Yos.h.i.+no"s.
“No…ah, stop that…!”
Before he knew it, this rubbing caused his breathing to intensify and his desire to
grow. Immediately, his member grew harder and bigger and his lower regions tingled.
“We would be here all day if I left it all up to you.”
“You said you wouldn"t complain…!”
“This isn"t complaining. I"m just giving you a hand.”
“That"s…some pun…ngh!”
His complaining was cut off by a kiss. When Yos.h.i.+no tried to break free, Hatori
licked all over inside his mouth and this made Yos.h.i.+no forget about Hatori"s reply. As
they exchanged this deep kiss, the pace of Hatori"s hand intensified. Their tongues grew
numb and their erections tingled as they rubbed together.
“Ngh! Ah……fu……!”
Both of them became delirious and in heat.
As I thought, there"s no way I can do these things with someone else.
He got turned on just as any other man would when he was with a girl, but he had
never desired anyone as much as he did the very person now in front of him. This was
Hatori, so he wanted to feel closer to him. That was what he thought.
“…Tori.”
“Hm?”
“Thi- this is bad. I- I"m gonna come.”
“Me too,” Hatori laughed lightly and quickened the pace of his hand.
Hatori rubbed him more vigorously, and Yos.h.i.+no gasped, forgetting the pain
because of the final moments of ecstasy.
It chased him. It cornered him.
“Ah, no, aah…AH……!”
Hatori spurted out his heat as if following Yos.h.i.+no"s erotic eruption. Their hands
were stained with warm s.e.m.e.n. When he reached climax through masturbation, he
immediately calmed down seconds later. But right now, there was no sign of his
excitement fading. He wanted Hatori"s heat some more.
For the first time, Yos.h.i.+no said something himself, “…To the bed, right?”
He looked up at Hatori"s eyes - the eyes hiding a wild intensity like those of a
starved beast.
* * * *
“I can"t, no…! I feel strange…!”
Yos.h.i.+no was losing his senses. The rush of ecstasy just wouldn"t stop. No matter
how embarra.s.sed he felt, his body tried to chase after the pleasure. Even though he pulled
his waist away from the thrusts, his soft insides tightly swallowed the rod and would not
let go. Seeing this contradiction, Hatori began hara.s.sing Yos.h.i.+no nonstop.
“You"re getting all worked up over me.”
“Ah! …Don"t…blame me….!”
He tightened his arms around Hatori"s back as he insulted him. With their faces
close together, it wasn"t clear which one of them put their lips over the others.
“Ngh…mm…fuu……”
Hatori"s tongue pried its way in and violently rummaged inside Yos.h.i.+no"s mouth.
Unable to swallow, saliva ran down the side of Yos.h.i.+no"s lips. He wasn"t sad and it didn"t
hurt, but tears welled up in his eyes, ran down his cheeks, and traveled into Hatori"s lips.
The sheets were already wet with their sweat and s.e.m.e.n, but they couldn’t waste
a moment to think about cleaning it up. Up until now – up until he started sleeping with
Hatori – he had never had such intense s.e.x. On the contrary, he hadn"t even dreamed that
he possessed such desire. Even now, he could hardly believed it. But Hatori held him like
this, and wanted him so much, that it almost seems like he didn"t need anyone else. This
scared Yos.h.i.+no, but also made him happy. When Yos.h.i.+no imagined being with a girl, his
natural instinct was to desire girls. But his l.u.s.t towards the body of this man was stronger
than even that instinct.
When he realized this, his chest grew hot. He got embarra.s.sed and wanted to run
away, but at the same time he was deeply touched. It hurt that Hatori was ready to be
with him but he had to hide his feelings.
…I don"t think my feelings are as strong as his.
However, he decided to be with Hatori because, he was precious to him in his
own way. Having Hatori tell Yos.h.i.+no that he loved him even when Yos.h.i.+no was s.p.u.n.ky,
insensitive, crude, and annoying, made Yos.h.i.+no want to return that same love towards
Hatori. At least that was what he thought right now.
“What are you thinking about?”
“…Dunno, what do you think?”
It was too embarra.s.sing to reply honestly and say "About you", so he played dumb
as he gasped for air. Perhaps that offended Hatori, because he frowned and violently
thrusted in.
“AH! Aah…wait…it"s tight…!”
“It"s fine if you don"t want to say. I"ll make you think only about me.”
“Wha… stupid. Don"t sound like a dirty old man…AAH!”
Yos.h.i.+no"s whole body was violently being shaken so much that it felt like he was
going to break. Yos.h.i.+no let out a high-pitched cry.
There was no time to scold Hatori for this. Yos.h.i.+no just dug his fingernails into
Hatori"s shoulders.
“Ow…! Aahh…AAH…!”
Yos.h.i.+no vehemently gasped as he felt Hatori"s sweet but strong heat churning it
up inside him.
I only think about you whether I want to or not!
Even when he worked and even when he didn"t work, Hatori was always on his
mind. Would he praise him for the storyboard this time? Was he nervous about the
deadline? When Yos.h.i.+no was hungry, he longed for Hatori"s cooking, and when he felt
lonely, the very first thing he wanted to hear was Hatori"s voice. In addition to not being
able to lead a proper adult life, he felt lost if Hatori wasn"t around.
“…Still thinking about unnecessary things?”
“Stuuupid. That would be you! You"ll go bald if you worry too much, you know.”
“Wha-……”
“Whatever, just be quiet!”
“That"s my line – “
Yos.h.i.+no dug his nails into Hatori"s shoulders and brought him closer. Then, he
covered Hatori"s smart mouth with his own lips. Yos.h.i.+no was pleased to see Hatori open
his eyes wide with surprise. He wrapped his legs around Hatori’s body as they lay on top
of each other. For a moment, Yos.h.i.+no gloated about outsmarting Hatori, since what he
did made Hatori completely lose his self-control.
But in the end, Yos.h.i.+no was the one crying for mercy.