Robert broke silence, and in a sharp tone said, "What on earth do you sit there for, at work on that dirty rag? Why don"t you give me something to eat?" and s.n.a.t.c.hing the work roughly from my hands, he threw it into the fire. I sprang forward to rescue my poor child"s garment, and so quick were my movements, that I saved it from much injury. But while I was shaking the ashes from it, my husband again s.n.a.t.c.hed it from my hands, and with a terrible oath, defying me to touch it, once more threw it into the fire. I was afraid to attempt to save it; so I turned away, with bitter feelings to see my labor all lost, and my dest.i.tute child made still more dest.i.tute by its father"s hand. But, as patiently and kindly as I could, I set before Robert the supper I had prepared for him. It did not look very inviting, to be sure; but I could offer nothing more. He swore he would not taste a particle. I now reproached him for not having provided any thing better for myself and children. But this was no time for reproach. Robert"s anger rose to the highest pitch. He dashed the cup and plate I had placed for him to the floor, and seizing me roughly by the arm, he opened the door, and forcing me from the dwelling, bid me enter again, if I dared. The night was cold and windy. I was thinly dressed, and even ill. But I forbore to take refuge under a neighbor"s roof. My heart was too sad and desolate to admit of human consolation. At this sorrowful moment I remembered that
"Earth hath no sorrow that heaven cannot heal;"
so, falling almost unconsciously upon my knees, I prayed that G.o.d would comfort my stricken heart; that my sins might be pardoned; that I might be enabled to repose all my griefs in the bosom of that gracious One who has kindly promised to give the heavy-laden rest. I then prayed for my miserable husband, that G.o.d would have mercy upon him, and deliver him from his dreadful delusion before it was too late. I prayed, too, for my poor children, with all the fervor of a mother"s soul. This was the first prayer I had offered for years; for I had been an impenitent woman. Had I prayed sooner, I might have saved myself much sorrow and distress. But as it was, I arose from my knees with feelings far less hopeless and bitter. I then crept back to the house, and on looking in at the window, I found that Robert had fallen asleep; so I opened the door quietly, without disturbing his heavy slumbers, and laid myself down to rest.
The events of this evening were no uncommon events to me. Each succeeding day brought but the same rough treatment, the same wretchedness and want. Robert grew worse and worse. He not only destroyed all our peace, but brought noise and discord into the whole neighborhood, till at last, for the sake of quiet, he was taken to the house of correction. I never can forget that dreadful night when he was carried away. He came home shockingly intoxicated. The little children crept into the farthest corner of the house to shield themselves from his fury. He threatened every thing with destruction. I was in danger of my life, and ran for safety into the nearest house, where a poor widow lived. Robert followed--we fastened the door--he swore he would set fire to the building, and burn it over our heads. But some one pa.s.sing by heard the uproar, and went for the town officers. Several of them came, just as my infatuated husband was pelting the window with stones. They took him away by force, while he was uttering the most shocking oaths. I sat down and wept with shame and vexation. My little Jane put her arm round my neck, and said, "Don"t cry, ma--he has gone--wicked pa has gone, and I hope he will never come back--he is so cross, and beats us so." I hardly knew what to say in answer to my little girl, but I felt that it was a dreadful thing to have my children speak so of him whom I would gladly have taught them to love and honor.
I determined, now my husband was away, to support my family by my own work; for wretched as my home was, I could not bear to leave it and come upon the town. I could not earn much, for my health was feeble, but I managed, by depriving myself of several meals, to save enough to mend my poor neighbor"s window.
But Robert longed to regain his liberty. He resolved that he would do better, and upon promising orderly conduct, was permitted to return to his family. Badly as he had treated me, I was glad to see him back again. He looked humble, and spoke to me kindly. He kissed the younger children, too, and for a while every thing went on smoothly. To me it seemed like the dawning of better days, and when Robert one evening brought home some new shoes for our oldest boy, and a new gown for my little Jane, I actually wept for joy, and Jane said, her "wicked pa had come back very good."
But these bright days were not to last. Darker ones came, darker than I had ever known before, or perhaps they seemed darker, from the transient sunshine that had gleamed upon us. I again heard my children crying for food, when I had no food to give them. I was again often turned from my dwelling, or, if I offered any resistance, was forced to receive harsh words and cruel blows. But it is in vain to tell all I suffered. Many have gone through the same fiery trial, and will feel that a recital of my woes is but a recital of what they too have borne.
There was one privilege, the want of which I at this time felt deeply.
The village church was within sight of our door. I used to hear the bell ring, and see the children of the neighborhood go by, neatly dressed, to the Sabbath-school; but I had no gown, nor bonnet, nor shawl fit to wear, and my children were still more dest.i.tute than myself. So we were obliged to spend the Sabbath in sadness at home, while Robert, if the day was fine, would profane it by going on the water to fish, or would linger with his companions round the door of the grogshop--not to enter, it is true; for the dram-seller, with his wife and children, dressed very fine, and were accustomed to attend church; and but for that dreadful shop, I might have gone there too.
Our minister was one of those who thought it his duty to "reason on temperance," as well as "righteousness," and "judgment to come;" and through his exertions, and the exertions of other good men, a reform had commenced, which gave great encouragement to the friends of human happiness and virtue. Temperance-meetings were held once a month in different parts of the town, and in spite of much opposition, and many prophecies to the contrary, the cause went on.
I heard much said about these meetings, and resolved to attend the next; so, when the evening came, I borrowed a cloak and bonnet of one of the neighbors, and hastened to the church. The prayers I there heard did my wounded spirit good, and the plain, impressive language of the minister spoke to my very heart. I resolved to persuade my husband, if possible, to go with me when there should be another meeting.
A circ.u.mstance occurred about this time that quite destroyed my remaining courage, and almost caused me to give Robert up for lost. We lived in a small, shabby-looking house, a part of which he rented to a very poor family. They could not pay the rent immediately upon its being due. It was in the depth of winter, and the poor woman had a little infant, not more than two weeks old. But Robert"s heart was shut to all kind feelings. One very stormy day he drove the whole family out of doors, and they were obliged to seek some other dwelling. It was too much for the poor woman in her feeble state. She caught a severe cold, and died in a few days. After this heartless act, my faiths quite failed me, and I felt as if nothing could recall my husband to a sense of duty.
But I little knew the workings of his mind. He seemed to return a little to his senses, when he saw that his cruelty had probably caused the death of the poor woman, and rendered a large family of helpless children motherless. His countenance became more dark and gloomy, and he scarcely raised his eyes to notice any one.
Things were in this state, when one day our minister called, as he was visiting the people of his parish. I was very glad to see him, and told him all my griefs freely. He gave me what consolation he could, and informed me that there was another temperance-meeting in the evening, which he hoped I would attend; "and," added he, "bring your husband along with you, if you can persuade him to come."
When Robert came home to supper, I was surprised and delighted to find him sober; so I told him of the minister"s visit, and the meeting in the evening. He seemed pleased that the minister had called, and even asked me how things looked about the room, "for," said he, "we don"t look quite so stylish here as we once did, Mary."
"No, Robert," said I, with a sigh, as I surveyed the wretched apartment; "but if you would attend the temperance-meeting, and hear what the minister says about saving money, I think it would soon look much better here, and the boys might have better jackets, and I might have a better gown. Oh, Robert"--
I would have said more, but my eyes filled with tears, and I could not.
Robert hung down his head, and looked ashamed. He knew he had spent, for rum, money enough to feed and clothe his family well. I thought he had half a mind to tell me he would go with me. When I had cleared away the supper, and sent the children to bed, I put on my bonnet, and said, "I will just step into neighbor Warren"s, and borrow Nancy"s cloak."
"Have not you any cloak of your own?" said he.
"No," I replied, "I have been without one a long time."
Robert said no more, but when I came back with the cloak, and said to him, "Will you go with me?" he said, in a tone which seemed as if he were trying to suppress kinder feelings, "Go along, Mary, and don"t be always fretting about me." I was grieved, but said nothing, and proceeded to the meeting alone, praying that Robert might think better of it, and come. The services were even more interesting than they had been at the preceding meeting. The minister said every thing to convince, and I felt a distressing anxiety, that I could not control, to have my husband hear all that was said. Judge, then, of my surprise and pleasure, when, a short time after I had returned home, Robert entered, and said, "Guess where I have been, Mary."
"Not to meeting, Robert."
"Yes, Mary, to meeting. I took up my hat after you had gone, thinking that I would go down to the shop; for I felt uneasy, and wanted something to suppress my disagreeable thoughts. But as I pa.s.sed by the meeting-house, it was so well lighted up, and the bell was ringing, and the people going in, I thought perhaps I had better go in too; and I am glad I did. Wife, I do believe the minister is right. I know that hard drinking has been the ruin of myself and family, and while the minister was speaking, I thought I would try to break away from my bad habits."
"O, Robert, _will you try_?" I exclaimed, while my heart beat with pleasure to hear him thus speak.
""Tis hard work, Mary, harder than you think for."
"I know it is hard, my dear husband; but only think of the happiness it would bring to us all--of the ruin from which it will save our little boys--the agony from which it will save your poor wife. O, Robert, if you have one spark of love remaining in your bosom for any of us"--
I could not go on; but leaning my hands upon my husband"s shoulder, I sobbed aloud.
Robert seemed affected, and said, in a doubtful tone, "Perhaps I might leave it off by degrees."
"O no, Robert, no," I answered, "that will never do. Don"t you remember how particular the minister was to say, "_Leave it off at once_?" You will never do it by degrees."
Robert looked steadily into the fire, and did not say one word more.
When not under the influence of strong drink, he is a man of good sense, and I thought it better to leave him to his own reflections. I know not what pa.s.sed through his mind. The kinder and better feelings of other days seemed to be awakened from their slumber, or rather, He from whom "all just thoughts and holy desires proceed," was influencing his determination. As for myself, I longed in secret to pour out my soul to G.o.d. So I went into the bedroom, where my poor children were fast asleep; and after seeing that they were well covered up, I kissed each one of them, and knelt down by their side to offer up my prayer. I prayed as I had never done before. I seemed, through my Redeemer, to gain a nearer and bolder access to the throne of grace. My heart was filled with deep grat.i.tude, penitence, humility, and joy; and from that hour I have dared to hope myself a child of G.o.d. O that blessed, blessed night. It caused joy among the angels in heaven, over the reconciliation of one soul to G.o.d--over the desire of another soul to return to the path of duty. It caused joy on earth, in our poor, humble dwelling--joy in the bosom of the long-afflicted wife--joy that her own soul was trusting in Christ--joy that her husband was purposing to forsake his wretched way, and turn into a happier, better path.
The next day, before Robert went out, I encouraged him all I could to persevere. I brought to his remembrance as much of the lecture as I could, so that it might be fresh in his mind. He left me in good spirits, and promised to see me again at night a sober man. But O, what an anxious day was it for me! I dreaded, and yet longed for evening to come, and my heart beat as I heard his footstep at the door. But he had kept his word--he had not tasted a drop of spirit during the day. He had seen, too, the minister and several members of the Temperance Society.
In consequence of the meeting on the last evening, many new names were added to the temperance list, and they had promised, in case of entire abstinence till the next meeting, to receive his. I could scarcely believe my senses when I heard my husband speak thus, and the prospect of his becoming a sober man seemed too delightful to be ever realized.
For a time, I rejoiced with trembling; but when, day after day, I saw him return orderly and quiet, my courage revived, and I felt that he _would persevere_.
At length the evening came round for the next meeting, and my husband and myself went, O so happy! and put our names to the pledge. What a different prospect did our home now present. I could not keep my countenance for joy, when the neighbors came in to congratulate me on the change. I could now dress my children neat and comfortable, and send them to the Sabbath-school. I went myself with my husband constantly to church, and on making known my wish to our minister, publicly professed my faith in the Saviour of sinners. Thus happily did the winter and summer pa.s.s away. One day in autumn, as the minister was pa.s.sing by, my husband was in the road in front of the house.
The minister remarked, "I am glad, Robert, to see your _house repaired_ and looking so well."
"Thank you, sir; why, it does look some better." As the minister was about to pa.s.s on, Robert added, "Mr. G., I have not drank a drop of rum for one year, come next Monday. So you see the effect upon my house. I used to work hard before, and spent about all I earned for rum, to drink myself, or to give away. Many a time I have been at my work on a Sunday, and earned a dollar or more in the course of the day, and taken the money, and then laid out the whole in rum. Now I can clothe my family well, and have something to lay out upon my house. Last summer, my boy and I saved sixty dollars besides supporting the family."
Sixty dollars saved! But who can tell the value of the happy days and nights of this year; or the worth of a kind, sober, industrious husband and father, compared with a cross, cruel, and drunken one? Ask the wife; what would she tell you? Ask the children; what would be their answer?
Some of my husband"s former wicked companions felt piqued and envious that Robert was free from their degrading habit. They saw him thriving, respected, and happy. His life and prospects were a continued reflection upon theirs. They longed to see him fall, and determined, if possible, to effect his ruin. As he was quietly returning home one evening, he pa.s.sed by the shop which he was once so much in the habit of frequenting. They accosted him: by taunts and jeers which he had not firmness enough to resist, they drew him into their company. Once there, they thought him within their power. When they could not induce him to violate his pledge by taking rum, they called him a "cold-water man;"
"a white-livered coward;" "priest-ridden;" "afraid of his minister," and many other t.i.tles of reproach. They then told him he had not promised to drink no wine; and, after much persuasion, they induced him to take a gla.s.s. But in this gla.s.s they had mingled the poison. Once stimulated, he called for more and yet more, till these wretches had the pleasure of seeing him who had so long stood firm, reeling from the shop, to mar at once all that was pleasant and peaceful at home. When my husband did not return at supper-time, I felt rather anxious, but thought he might be delayed, as he sometimes is; so I put his supper to the fire and sat down to my knitting-work, while one of the boys read to me from his Sabbath-school book.
We were thus employed when my deluded husband entered. O the agony of that moment! Had he been brought to me a corpse, I could not have been more shocked. Had those wicked men that thus seduced my husband entered my house and done the same things that they caused him to do, they might have been indicted for the outrage. In the morning Robert had come to himself; but he saw in the broken furniture, in the distrustful looks of the children, in the swollen eyes and distressed countenance of his wife, more than he cared to know. There was a mixture of remorse and obstinacy in his looks, and when he left me for the morning, instead of his usual "Good-morning, Mary," he shut the door roughly after him and hurried away.
When evening came again, Robert returned to the shop, and asked for a gla.s.s of rum. He wanted something to stifle the keen reproaches of conscience. The dram-seller knew my husband, knew of his reform, that from being a nuisance to the town, he had become an orderly and respectable citizen; and now that he had been seduced from the right way, instead of denying him the cause of all our former misery--instead of a little friendly advice--with his _usual courteous smile_, he put the fatal gla.s.s into his hand.
For a time my poor Robert continued in a very bad way. He mingled again with his profane and wicked a.s.sociates; he was ashamed to see his minister, and took no notice of him when he pa.s.sed; hung down his head when he met any of his temperance friends, and seemed to be fast returning to his former miserable habits.
But he was not thus to become the dupe of wicked and designing men. His wife"s prayers and tears were not thus to be of no avail. On a sudden he awoke from his delusion. He had lived a whole year without rum; and though exposed to all weathers, he knew his health had been better, his head clearer, his nerves firmer, his purse heavier, and his home happier. He called one evening to see the President of the Temperance Society; confessed his weakness in yielding to temptation; asked the forgiveness of the Society; requested to have his name, which had been erased from the temperance list, renewed; and promised never again to violate the pledge. Since that night my husband has continued a perfectly temperate man. No temptation has ever led him again to violate his pledge.
I have been induced to give this history of his reform to the world, in order, if possible, to persuade others to follow his example, to show them _how_ quiet and plenty were restored to a wretched dwelling, virtue and respectability to a ruined family, and the _poor man"s house repaired_.
A clergyman, worthy of all confidence, and acquainted with the writer of the above, and the circ.u.mstances detailed, testifies, that the case is "literally and faithfully described."
JAMIE;
OR,
A VOICE FROM IRELAND FOR TEMPERANCE.
A TRUE NARRATIVE.
BY PROFESSOR EDGAR, OF BELFAST.