Hearing his wife, a sudden warmth filled his heart. His thoughts brought him back to the past where he was helpless that he could not find her for months."I ran from home but you did not stop looking for me. I pushed you away many times but you stayed with me. How could I get tired of you when you did everything for me?" Samantha started tearing up.
Daniel averted his gaze, shutting his eyes when it watered. "I failed you, Sam. I"m the worst person for you."
"You can"t say that! Why are you thinking so low about yourself? This isn"t like you, Daniel. You are stronger than this. Didn"t we promise each other? Didn"t you tell me that we won"t ever break apart as long as we believed?" When Daniel did not respond to her, her thoughts went wild and suddenly she became nervous, "are you tired? Are you giving up?"
The question that she did not want to ask seemed to haunt her and words just blurted out of her mouth. "Have you decided already? Is that why you"re like this? Why Daniel?! I already told you! You can"t divorce me! I would rather die! I"m okay to die as long as we don"t separate!" She held his arm and shook it.
Having heard enough from her, Daniel stood up abruptly looking exasperated. Samantha immediately felt a pang of pain because of the rejection when he walked away from her as his rage shot up.
"How can you be so selfish?!" He faced her, his eyes scrutinized her at the same time that he felt terrible when he raised his voice — his chest heaved up and down.
Samantha flinched when he heard him yell. It was the first time that she saw Daniel scold her like that but she did not look away and continued to gaze at his angry expression. Seemingly unfazed by his sudden outburst, she questioned, "How am I selfish?"
"Don"t you hear yourself? You keep saying that you would rather choose to die! For fûck"s sake, Samantha that is you being selfis.h.!.+" His voice rose an octave higher each time he spat.
"You"re okay to die? What about your family? Huh? Haven"t you thought about them? If you die, then what will happen to them? Are you okay to leave them? How could you say it so easily? You and I both know perfectly well how having someone you care about die in front of you feels, and you"re telling me that you would just rather die? What do you expect me to do if you die, Sam? How can you not value your life?"
Every question, every word, every rise of his voice was a stab to her heart. It was painful for her to hear but for the life of her, she could not accept for them to separate. "Then do you choose to divorce me instead? That would hurt me more, Dan! How could I live my life and not be with you? Even the thought of it is painful and it will hurt so much more if it happens." She stood up and walked towards him. "The pain will be so much more than dying!"
"I can"t let you die!!!" Daniel spat, his emotions all mixed up with hate and pain and sadness. "All I want is for you to live, Sam. You are still young and you have so much to live for… even if it means that we wouldn"t be together. Your life is more important to me."
Shaking her head, Samantha dashed and wrapped her fragile arms around him. "No, please… you can"t leave me. I won"t allow it! I won"t sign the papers! You can"t do this! What about you? What will happen to you if we go our separate ways? No!" She shook her head profusely, tears streaming down her face continuously. "You can"t leave me... please... I won"t sign it." Her words were all mixed just like her emotions, running wildly inside of her.
Daniel clenched his hands into fists so hard that his knuckles turned white. His heart ached as he closed his eyes in despair, hearing the love of his life begging for him not to leave her. But what can he do? He felt so useless and helpless. "How pathetic, Daniel." He sneered at himself.
Samantha sobbed on his chest, soaking his white s.h.i.+rt. Forcing himself not to give in, Daniel Cho was in so much pain. He wanted to push her away and his hands trembled while he controlled himself. He wanted to love her, to hug her, and to never let her go.
"I love you, please…" She whimpered as she looked up at him.
G.o.d, he did not want to see her in pain but his stupid eyes did the opposite. And when their eyes met, he could not hold himself and instead, he placed an arm on her back and lifted her a little so that he could kiss her lips.
Smas.h.i.+ng his tender lips to hers, his kiss was gentle at first until it became violent. He kissed her as if kissing her was his source of life.
It was a painful kiss but Samantha did not resist as she wanted it all. Her tears continued to fall as she clung on to him, pulling him to her and pus.h.i.+ng herself to him as much as she could, never wanting to let him get away.
Not long after, Daniel started to remove her nightgown and Samantha"s hands were also busy taking off his clothes. They kissed pa.s.sionately, not knowing how they got on the bed.
Daniel hovered on top of Samantha"s naked body, caressing her every curve. Touching her skin as though he wanted to imprint her body on his mind and never forget about it. He did not yield and instead, he let go of himself, letting his l.u.s.tful desires take over him.
Samantha let him love her. She allowed him to do what he wanted with her. She completely and utterly submitted herself without holding back. Every kiss, every touch, and every moan made her feel powerful.
When he could no longer take it, Daniel plunged into her, making her cry out loud. He was rough with her but she did not mind at all. It was painful but not the kind of pain that would make her back out because the pain was not from how he was moving inside of her, rather the pain was from her broken heart.
Daniel made love to Samantha like he was hungry for her. His body intertwined with hers and they writhed and moaned and groaned as if their worries were non-existent. As if she was not sick, as if they weren"t heartbroken.
Forgetting about everything and just focusing on what they were doing... Loving each other and pleasing each other until they reached their climax.
He pulled out of her and brought her close to him. Both their sweated bodies blus.h.i.+ng and sensitive yet none of it bothered them as they drifted to slumber.
Samantha and Daniel were both quiet as they lulled each other to sleep with their breathing. That was probably the most emotional and painful s.e.x that they ever had.