And then, with a leaden certainty, I knew who had sold out my family.
It hadn"t taken me long to realize that someone had been feeding Sumi the particulars of my family"s immortal weaknesses-I just couldn"t figure out who the culprit was.
I knew that the person, whoever they were, was close to my dad-that they knew every aspect of his life intimately, both personally and professionally, and that they were in a position of utter confidence within the Death, Inc., hierarchy. Since I could cross Jarvis off the list-my Dad"s Executive a.s.sistant had done nothing but suffer for my family-the only other person with the kind of access necessary to crush the Reaper-Jones clan was the man standing in front of me, shaking a bag of peanuts in my sister"s face: Father McGee, my dad"s lawyer and personal confidante.
"You b.a.s.t.a.r.d," I said under my breath. "You as good as killed my father-" I said under my breath. "You as good as killed my father-"
"No," Father McGee said, interrupting me. "I didn"t kill your father. The Ender of Death has always known his his weakness. I simply provided the necessary information about you, your mother, your sister, and Jarvis." weakness. I simply provided the necessary information about you, your mother, your sister, and Jarvis."
Father McGee"s face glowed with power-yet upon closer inspection, I saw that it wasn"t just power that was making him appear so sprightly. His skin was appreciably firmer, the lines around his mouth and eyes less p.r.o.nounced. Even his hair was shinier, the color having molted from snow white to a more distinguished salt and pepper. It was almost as if he"d won a year"s worth of Botox in the church raffle and had used the whole supply in one sitting. Gone, too, were the clerical trappings I"d always known, replaced now by a well-tailored black Armani suit and sockless white calfskin penny loafers that made him look like Bob Hope on a USO Tour to h.e.l.l.
I took a few steps forward, wanting to pummel the priest in his Benjamin b.u.t.ton face for what he"d done to my family, but it"d taken so much energy to confront Thalia that when Frank grabbed my arm to stop me, there was nothing I could do to fight him.
"Get off me-" I growled as Frank threw me to the floor, where I had to bite my tongue not to scream in agony when I landed heavily on my bad shoulder.
"Frank, go get the little minx," Father McGee said, pointing to Thalia, who was still cowering by the desk.
"Leave me alone," Thalia yelled, swatting at Frank with both of her hands as she tried to climb over the desk to get away from him. Of course, he was bigger and stronger than she was, so it was no contest. He scooped her up under his arm and carried her back to where Father McGee was waiting.
"What about her?" Thalia wailed, pointing at me.
"What about me?" I rasped.
"Why don"t you kill her, too?" Thalia said, ignoring me. "She deserves to be put out of her misery."
Selling me out even now, I thought wryly. I thought wryly. What are sisters for? What are sisters for?
"You don"t have to worry about her," Father McGee said, smiling as Frank dropped Thalia to her knees in front of him. "She"s already been taken care of."
Thalia closed her eyes, then opened them again, nodding.
"Let"s get it over with, then," she said, her voice even.
"Good. I knew you would eventually see things my way," Father McGee said, tearing open the package and presenting it to my sister.
"But I"ll only do it if you let me administer them to myself," Thalia said quickly-and I wondered what devious plan she"d just conjured to save herself.
Father McGee motioned for Frank to release her. Frank let her go and she quickly moved away from the mutton-chopped henchman.
"Let me have the stupid nuts," she said, holding out her hand.
Father McGee lifted his hand to drop the package into her outstretched palm, but she moved like a flash, slapping the peanuts away and driving her elbow into his gut as she pushed past him, knocking him to the ground. I had to admire her chutzpah, but I quickly saw that she"d made a serious error in judgment. As soon as she"d knocked out the priest, she should"ve taken off as fast as her little Shape-Ups could carry her, but instead, her actions fueled by her gigantic ego, she"d turned back around and lunged at Frank. Grabbing a handful of his shirt and pulling him to her, she"d kneed him in the crotch the minute he was in nut-crushing range.
I decided not to encourage Thalia by cheering. Why remind her I was there when she still had her hands full with Frank?
Speaking of Frank, Thalia"s crotch shot dropped the cowboy to his knees, his face going from milky white to scarlet in a heartbeat. I could see tears of agony forming in the corners of his eyes, but by then Thalia had turned her attention to me.
"I"m gonna kill you myself, Calliope, you dumb b.i.t.c.h," she spat at me, lifting her leg to kick me in the head, but I was too transfixed by the sight of Frank-muscling through mucho mucho pain to drag himself onto his feet-to really defend myself. Reaching out a large hand, he easily caught hold of the back of Thalia"s hoodie, knocking her off balance and dragging her backward so that her kick went wide, missing my head by an inch. pain to drag himself onto his feet-to really defend myself. Reaching out a large hand, he easily caught hold of the back of Thalia"s hoodie, knocking her off balance and dragging her backward so that her kick went wide, missing my head by an inch.
"Callie, help me!" Thalia cried, her eyes locking on to mine as Frank wrapped his arms around her torso, constricting her movement and forcing her back to where Father McGee was waiting, having used the opportunity to haul himself onto his feet. He looked pained by the fall, but he shook off his discomfort and lurched toward Thalia, the bag of peanuts back in his hand.
"Callie, please!" Thalia begged, her eyes full of terror-the realization that death was fast approaching, and there was nothing she could do to prevent it, blooming on her face.
After all we"d been through, after all the atrocities she"d perpetrated against me and the people I loved, after trying to kick my head in not even two minutes earlier, my sister still had the b.a.l.l.s to ask me for my help. Jesus, the woman was unbelievable.
Whether or not I wanted to help her, there was nothing I could do. I was barely keeping myself alive, and and deep down, if I was really being honest with myself, I knew that even if I could save her, the world would be a much better place without her in it. So I made the only reasonable choice I could: I sat on the floor and watched as Frank held my sister"s mouth open and Father McGee poured the entire contents of the aluminum peanut wrapper down her throat. deep down, if I was really being honest with myself, I knew that even if I could save her, the world would be a much better place without her in it. So I made the only reasonable choice I could: I sat on the floor and watched as Frank held my sister"s mouth open and Father McGee poured the entire contents of the aluminum peanut wrapper down her throat.
The effect was instantaneous.
Thalia"s body went rigid and then her arms and legs began to flail like a marionette puppet as Frank held one palm over her mouth to prevent her from spitting out the peanuts. Bucking like a wild animal, she rocked against his restraining arms, her face turning white then puce and then the color of boiled beets, while the whites of her eyes shifted from ochre to oxblood red. Suddenly she screamed, the sound trapped behind Frank"s hand. Her eyes began to roll wildly in their sockets, and then, without any kind of warning, her head exploded like a volcano, viscera flying everywhere as her headless corpse slid down Frank"s body and crumpled to the floor. I was far enough away that I was saved from having bits of Thalia splattered all over me, but Frank and Father McGee both got slimed, the foul miasma of offal now exposed to the air coating them like a second skin. Secretly, it filled me with glee to think my sister-no matter how evil she"d been, she"d always be my sister-had had the last word, defiling Frank and Father McGee with the nasty gore of her own dead body.
"You get what you deserve," I said. It was directed at Father McGee and Frank, but it went for Thalia, too.
"I think that same notion can be applied to you, as well, Calliope," Father McGee said, fishing a clean handkerchief from his back pocket and beginning to wipe the gore from his face.
"My dad trusted you and you gave his family up for what . . . immortality?"
"Better than that," Father McGee said, handing the befouled handkerchief to Frank, who waved it away. "Eternal youth. Even now you can see the aging process being reversed, and soon, I"ll look like I did when I was twenty-five-and I will remain that way forever."
"You may look young on the outside, but your conscience will be a black and foul thing," I said.
"As if I care about my conscience," he replied, laughing. "Of course, you wouldn"t know anything about my motivations. You, who"ve been immortal your whole existence, who has never had your body ache with arthritis or your vision fail from glaucoma. You, who"ve never stared down the well of life and found only death and loss-of-self curled up at the bottom, lying in wait for you. You try being a mortal for one lifetime, Calliope Reaper-Jones, and then we"ll talk."
"I guess I"ll just have to save that for the next life," I said, clutching my stomach as a corkscrew of fire from my gut ratcheted up into my throat.
"You"re a bright girl, Calliope," Father McGee said. "But I hope you come back as a fly."
"I"m gonna break you . . ." I said, crawling to my knees, my hands raised as if I were close enough to wrap them around Father McGee"s scrawny old neck and squeeze the life out of him, but then a wave of fire spread through my body, black spots dancing before my aching eyes.
The promethium had hit me full force.
"It won"t be long now, Calliope," Father McGee said as he slammed his palms into my chest, sending me sprawling onto the floor again. "You"ve done us so many good turns-sending the Devil back to h.e.l.l, disposing of Evangeline and her Bugbears so Frank could come rescue me-it would be rude of us to let you suffer unnecessarily."
I lay on the floor where I"d landed, unable to feel anything but the agonized burning of the promethium as it flowed through my bloodstream. My muscles gave out and I found my face pressed into the plush fibers of the oriental carpet I"d been lying on. Trying to quell the agony I felt, I pulled my feet up into my chest in a modified version of the fetal position. The relief it gave was minimal, but it was something. I was in so much pain I could hardly move, not even to lift my head up off the floor when Frank squatted down beside me, his features pinched with worry. He put a hand to my forehead, then brushed my hair back off my face.
"I"m sorry you"re suffering so much, Callie," he said. "I"m gonna get Sumi to fix you up when he gets here. He promised I could have you."
My eyes burning, I nodded, but I had little hope that Sumi was going to reverse the death sentence he"d already laid on me. I closed my eyes, trying to ease the ache behind my eyelids, and when I opened them again, I saw Father McGee pulling a tiny, cell phone-like device from his pocket. He pressed a numbered code into the screen and the device beeped, a wall of flickering light projecting out from inside it.
I"d thought Thalia and the Devil had blocked anyone from entering or leaving the building via wormhole, but somehow Father McGee had called up one anyway. The priest caught my questioning glance and smiled.
"Who do you think showed your sister how to shut down the wormhole system?" he purred, pleased with himself. "You really believe she was so smart? No, she was a brute, using other people"s expertise to further her own agenda-with an ego so large she could never believe anyone would ever double-cross her."
"You"re a p.r.i.c.k . . ." I started to say, but then the wormhole flickered between us, its gray light shimmering like static on a television set, and I watched as first Hyacinth then Sumi crossed through, entering the Hall of Death as if they owned the place. As soon as they were both safely through the wormhole, it flickered and then disappeared.
Sumi looked exactly as he had before-still wrapped in his kimono and gra.s.s skirt-while Hyacinth had slipped into something more comfortable: a pale linen and gold caftan with matching gold slippers. Her change of costume, coupled with her flaxen hair and rounded body, made her resemble a Wagnerian opera heroine.
"So good of you to hold up your end of the bargain," Sumi said, nodding to Father McGee.
"Of course," Father McGee replied, "the jewel you gave me is already working. My youth is returning as we speak."
I started laughing; I couldn"t help myself, even though it hurt terribly to do it. I couldn"t believe Father McGee had done the exact thing he"d just accused my sister of doing. By accepting Sumi"s wish-fulfillment jewel, the good Father"s big fat ego had just opened itself up to a whole lot of double-crossing.
Ah, such is the irony of life.
"What"s so funny?" Hyacinth roared, bending over me as I lay on the floor, giggling to myself.
"Nothing," I moaned, hit by another wave of giggles that had me convulsing with pain and laughter.
"Tell me why you"re laughing, Calliope Reaper-Jones!" she said, kicking me in the gut with the tip of her golden slipper.
Note to self: Never kick anyone suffering from promethium poisoning in the stomach.
The force of Hyacinth"s blow, compounded with the nausea I"d already been marinating in, made me throw up, expelling a red foaming bile that oozed out of my mouth and poured onto the gigantic woman"s slippered feet. She backed away, kicking off her shoes as she tried to keep the stench of my vomit away from her skin, the smell a.s.sailing not only her her nostrils, but everyone else"s, too. It was so gross I started gagging again even though I"d pretty much emptied out what was left in my stomach already. nostrils, but everyone else"s, too. It was so gross I started gagging again even though I"d pretty much emptied out what was left in my stomach already.
"A jewel," I whispered huskily, my seared throat aching. "I ate a jewel, too, Father."
I didn"t have the energy to laugh, but Father McGee"s face blanched as he caught my meaning.
"Did you put something in my jewel?" the old man wailed, poking a bony finger into Sumi"s chest, the gesture only making the Sea G.o.d cackle.
"You think I double-crossed you?" Sumi said, pushing the priest"s hand away as he stepped in closer, so that they were now standing chest to chest.
"I don"t know," the priest said, his lips trembling. "Did you?"
Sumi sneered at the pathetic priest, taking immense joy in the other man"s terrified countenance and wild eyes.
"Of course I double-crossed you."
Father McGee took a step back, clutching his hands to his belly where death gestated inside him.
"You wouldn"t dare," Father McGee whispered as he looked around wildly for an escape.
"I made it long-acting, Father," Sumi said, enjoying Father McGee"s dismay. "It could be months before it kills you."
Father McGee dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around Sumi"s gra.s.s skirt.
"Please, for the love of all things holy, take it out of me . . ." the priest begged.
Sumi didn"t seem at all fazed by having a grown man clutching at his legs. Instead, he leaned down, whispering into Father McGee"s ear-but just loud enough for everyone else to hear: "Get away from me or I"ll kill you now."
Father McGee dropped his hands and sat back on his haunches. He stared up at the old Sea G.o.d, his jaw slack with fear, then he began to scuttle backward down the hall, making his escape.
"You said I could have her when you were done," Frank said as the priest disappeared into the shadowed hallway. "I wanna collect on that promise now. You said I"d be Death and she"d be my queen."
Sumi shrugged. "I say a lot of things."
Frank crossed the s.p.a.ce between them, but Hyacinth stepped in between them, her bulk blocking Frank from getting too close to the duplicitous Sea G.o.d.
"Don"t even think about it," Hyacinth said, her voice as calm as a snake right before it struck.
With Hyacinth holding Frank at bay, Sumi squatted down beside me, his fingers pressing into my skull.
"You a phrenologist as well as an a.s.shole?" I rasped, my voice nearly gone. ""Cause if you"re gonna tell me my future is shot to s.h.i.t, I already know."
Sumi ignored me as his fingers continued to gauge how far gone I was. Satisfied I wasn"t going to be making a miraculous recovery, he began to chuckle, pleased with himself and with his handiwork. I curled further into myself, trying to escape from his insidious laughter, but I was trapped in my decaying body, the pain roping me to consciousness, forcing me to endure every crushing ache and deleterious physical reaction I was suffering under the effects of the promethium.
"She will die soon," Sumi said blandly, returning to his feet as he addressed Frank. "And she"s a liability. She could challenge you-and win-and then this would all have been for nothing."
"But it"s already for nothing," a seductive voice called out from the darkness. a seductive voice called out from the darkness.
Sumi stood at attention, his eyes narrowed as he peered into the shadows, looking for the owner of the voice. Hyacinth came to stand protectively beside him, but Frank, looking like a dog that"d just had its bone taken away, stayed where he was.
"Show yourself," Sumi commanded, his voice booming into the darkened Hall.
"Don"t get your panties in a bunch, Watatsumi. It"s just little old me."
And then like a ghost, the Devil glided out of the shadows.
"How are you here?" Sumi said, his eyes wide with surprise.
"Oh, I have a few tricks up my sleeve," the Devil said as he took off one glove then the other, dropping them onto the floor.
"And who is this lovely lady?" the Devil continued. He walked over to where I lay on the ground, and then, oddly, he knelt beside me. He removed the black silk top hat he was wearing over his slicked-back black hair and slid a silver, lion-headed cane under his arm, bending at the waist so he could look deeply into my eyes.
"This isn"t the delectable Calliope Reaper-Jones, is it? Oh, yes, I do believe that it is."
I shut my eyes, wanting to disappear, but the Devil set his hand on my forehead and forcefully lifted one eyelid, then the other, checking for G.o.d knew what, and then, as if I were a cat, he patted the top of my head and stood.
"She"s been rather a tricky d.i.c.k," the Devil said, seemingly amused by the scene he"d stepped into. "But it seems as if you"ve finally accomplished what so many others could not. She"ll be dead within the half hour.
"Well played," he continued, keeping his voice pleasant-but I noticed his wary eyes never left Sumi"s face.
"We shall see," Sumi said thoughtfully. "She"s not dead yet."
The Devil nodded, unclasping the silver lion broach that rested at the base of his throat and letting the black silken cape he wore slither to the floor. He kicked away the sinewy fabric-and the stupid thing flew in my direction, draping itself over my arm. Suddenly, I felt a cooling balm settle over my burning skin, and for the first time in hours, I could take a breath without feeling like I was going to retch. Even my dislocated shoulder stopped aching, although my arm still hung stiffly at my side, my range of motion shot. I didn"t know why the Devil would do me this simple kindness, but I wasn"t going to look a gift horse in the mouth-even though I knew I would invariably end up paying for it somewhere down the line.
"You sent me on a fool"s errand to h.e.l.l, Sumi," the Devil mused. "One I easily quelled, returning the errant souls back inside the Gates where they belonged-it"s just too bad Cerberus and his child had to be destroyed for their insubordination."
"No!" I cried, forcing myself on to my knees and dragging my body with numb fingers over to where the Devil stood, prostrating myself at his feet. The motion caused my shoulder to slip out of place again and a jagged knife of pain sliced up my arm and into my neck and back.
"Please, tell me you"re lying," I said, an odd weightless feeling settling over me now that I was no longer underneath the protection of the Devil"s cape. "Swear you didn"t do it. Swear you didn"t hurt them."
For a moment the Devil looked uncertain, not sure what to make of my protestations, but then he turned away, shooing me back with his foot. I wanted to scream with grief, but there were no tears left inside me; I was drained. Instead, I lay down beside him, utterly spent.
"Go back to where you were, you sniveling fool," the Devil growled, swatting at me again with his toe-but I was immovable. If Runt was dead, then I deserved to suffer. Her death lay squarely at my feet, because I was the one who"d come up with the idiotic plan that had gotten her killed.
"I said to go back where you came from," the Devil growled, his eye now on the cape where it lay spread out on the floor, unguarded.