I never felt more awe-stricken than I did pa.s.sing under the shadow of those great sentinel plinths, guarding their sunken altar, hiding their own impenetrable mysteries. The winds seemed to blow more chill, and to whisper strangely, as if trying to tell secrets we could never understand. I love the legend of the Friar"s Heel, but, after all, it"s only a mediaeval legend, and it"s more interesting to think that, from the middle of the sacrificial altar, the priest could see the sun rise (at the summer solstice) just above that stupendous stone. I stood there, imagining a white-robed Druid looking up, his knife suspended over a fair girl victim, waiting to strike until his eye should meet the red eye of the sun. Oh, I shall have bad dreams about Stonehenge, I know! But I shan"t mind, if I can dream about the Duke of Buckingham digging for treasure there at midnight. And if I were like Du Maurier"s dear Peter Ibbetson, I could "dream back," and see at what far distance the builders of Stonehenge got their mysterious syenite, and that one black sandstone so different from the rest. I could dream who were the builders; whether Phoenicians, or mourning Britons of Arthur"s day--as Geoffrey of Monmouth tells.
Sir Lionel and I like to think it was the Britons, for that gives him a family feeling for the place, since he read out of a book Warton"s sonnet:
"Thou n.o.blest monument of Albion"s Isle, Whether by Merlin"s aid from Scythia"s sh.o.r.e To Amber"s fatal plain Pendragon bore, Huge frame of giants" hands, the mighty pile To entomb his Britons slain by Hengist"s guile, Or Druid priests, sprinkled with human gore, Taught "mid the ma.s.sy maze their mystic lore."
Next time, I want to see Stonehenge from an airship, or, at a pinch, a balloon, because I can judge better of the original form, the two circles and the two ellipses, which the handsomest policeman I ever saw out of a Christmas Annual explained to me, pacing the rough gra.s.s. He lives at Stonehenge all day, with a dog, and they are both guardians. I asked him if he had not beautiful thoughts, but he said, not in winter, Miss, it was too cold to think then, except about hot soup. Stonehenge is very becoming to this young man, especially at sunset. And, dearest, you can hardly imagine the glory of those piled stones as you look back at them, going slowly, slowly away, and seeing them purple-black against a crimson streak of sunset like a smoking torch.
[Ill.u.s.tration: "_The policeman explained to me_"]
We got lost, trying to find the river road, going home, and had great fun, straying into meadows, and onto ploughed ground, which poor Apollo resented. The way was beautiful, past some lovely old houses and exquisite cottages; and the Avon was idyllic in its pretty windings. But the villages of Wiltshire I don"t find as poetical as those in Surrey and Suss.e.x or Hampshire.
You would never guess what I"m going to do to-morrow morning? I"m not sure you"d let me, if you knew. But a ward doesn"t need a chaperon with a guardian. He plays both parts. I"m to get up early--before the sun is awake--and Sir Lionel is to motor me out to Stonehenge, so that I can see it by sunrise as well as sunset. It is a beautiful idea, and the handsome policeman has promised to be there and let us in.
Seeing a sunrise is like a glorified Private View, I think. I expect to feel as Louis of Bavaria must have felt when he had a Wagner opera all to himself.
Now I am going down to post this, so that it can leave for London by the last train, and start for Switzerland in the morning--of my birthday. I shall count the sunrise a birthday present from heaven if it"s fine; and if it isn"t I shall know, what I suspect already, that I don"t deserve one.
Your loving Changeling,
Audrie.
XII
AUDRIE BRENDON TO HER MOTHER
_Compton Arms, Stony Cross, New Forest_, _July 25th_
Little Star-Mother: It"s very late to-night, or early to-morrow, but I did want to write you on my birthday; and besides, I am in a hurry to tell you about the fairylike experience I have had. I am in fairyland even here and now; but I have been to the heart of it. I shall never forget.
Oh, but first--the sunrise, my birthday sunrise. It was wonderful, and made me think how much time I have wasted, hardly ever accepting its invitations. I believe I will turn over a new leaf. I shall get up very, very early every day, and go to bed very, very late, so as to squeeze all the juice out of the orange, and wring every minute out of my youth.
I feel so alive, I don"t want to lose the "morning glory." When I"m old I shall do differently. I"ll go to bed directly after dinner and sleep late, so that age may be short, following a long youth. Isn"t that a good plan to make on my twenty-first birthday?
Sir Lionel hadn"t forgotten, and wished me many happy returns of the day; but he didn"t give me a present, so I hoped he had changed his mind. We got back to Salisbury about the time Mrs. Norton and Mrs.
Senter were having their breakfasts in bed (they hadn"t heard of our expedition, and the word had gone out that we weren"t to start for the New Forest till after luncheon, as it would be a short run), and we had nearly finished our tea, toast, and eggs, when d.i.c.k strolled into the coffee-room. He seemed decidedly _intrigue_ at sight of us together at a little table, talking cozily; and that detective look came into his eyes which cats have when a mouse occurs to them. He laughed merrily, though, and chaffed us on making "secret plans." d.i.c.k hasn"t a very nice laugh.
It"s too explosive and loud. (Don"t you think other animals must consider the laughter of humans an odd noise, without rhyme or reason?)
Also d.i.c.k has a nasty way of saying "thank you" to a waiter; with the rising inflection, you know, which is nicely calculated to make the servant feel himself the last of G.o.d"s creatures.
By two o"clock we had said good-bye to Salisbury ("good-bye" for me, "au revoir" for the others, perhaps), and were kinematographing in and out of charming scenery, lovelier perhaps than any we"d seen yet. Under green gloom of forests, where it seemed a prisoned dryad might be napping in each tree, and where only a faun could have been a suitable chauffeur; past heatherland, just lit to rosy fire by the sun"s blaze; through billowy country where grain was gold and silver, meadows were "flawed emeralds set in copper," and here and there a huge dark blot meant a prehistoric barrow.
The car played us a trick for the first time, and Young Nick, looking more like Buddha than ever, got down to have a heart-to-heart talk with the motor. I think Apollo had swallowed a crumb, or something, for he coughed and wheezed, and wouldn"t move except with gasps, until he had been patted under the bonnet, and tickled with all sorts of funny instruments, such as a giant"s dentist might use. It was fun, though, for us irresponsible ones, while Sir Lionel and Nick tried different things to get the crumb out of Apollo"s throat. Other motorists flew by scornfully, like the Priest and the Levite, or slowed up to ask if they could help, and looked with some interest at Mrs. Senter and me, sitting there like mantelpiece ornaments. I didn"t even want to slaughter them for the dust they made, now that I"m a real motorist myself, for "dog cannot eat dog"; and even cyclists seemed like our poor relations.
One elderly woman b.u.mped by, sitting in a kind of dreadful bath chair fastened in front of a motor bicycle, spattering noise and petrol. You couldn"t see her features under her expression, which was agonized. The young man who propelled her was smirking conceitedly, as if to say, "What a kind chap I am, giving my maiden aunt a good time!"
Presently a small car came limping along that had "We Know It" printed in large, rough letters on a card, tied to a broken wheel. Wasn"t that a good idea, when they"d got nervous prostration having everybody tell them?
Cows paused, gazed at us, and sneered; but at last Apollo"s crumb was extracted; Young Nick brushed the dust off his sleeves by rubbing his arms together, the way flies clean their antennae, and we were ready to go on. "It"s a wise car that knows its own chauffeur," said Mrs. Senter.
Just because this happened, and because a tire presently burst in sheer sympathy, we travelled in the beginning of sunset, which was divine. The scene swam in rose-coloured light, so pink it seemed as if you could bottle it, and it would still be pink. The tree trunks were cased in ruddy gold, like the gold leaf wrapped round royal mummies. Making up for lost time, the white road smoked beneath our tires, and we were soon in the New Forest--the old, old New Forest, perfumed like the fore-court of heaven.
We came to this pretty little hotel, in the midst of heathery s.p.a.ces like a cutting in the aromatic forest. I like my room, but I didn"t want to stop in it and begin dressing for dinner. Looking out of my window, I saw a little white moon, curved like a baby"s arm, cushioned among banks of sky azaleas, so I felt I must go out and drink the sunset. I had left too much of that rose-red wine in the bottom of the silver goblet. I must have the last drop!
So I ran downstairs; and I warn you, now comes the experience which I liked so much, but of which you won"t approve.
The landlord stood in the hall, and I asked him if there were anything wonderful I could go and see in a few minutes. He smiled, and said it wouldn"t take me very long to find Rufus"s Stone, but he would not advise me to do it. I replied that I wouldn"t ask him to advise, if he"d point out the road, and probably I should only venture a little way. He was a nice man, so he went out in front of the hotel to point, and lent me a puppy as a companion.
The puppy was no respecter of persons. All he cared for was a walk, so he kindly consented to take me with him, gambolling ahead as if he knew where I wanted to go. That tempted me on, and the way wasn"t hard to find, for the puppy or for me. We played into each other"s paws, and when I was lost he found me, or vice versa. The first thing I knew, there was the Stone. n.o.body could mistake it, even from a distance; and going down to it from the top of a hill, it was still light enough to read the inscription.
This was my first entrance into the heart of fairyland.
William Rufus couldn"t have chosen a more ideal spot to die in, if he"d picked it out himself from a list of a hundred others; and the evening silence under the great, gray beeches seemed as if it had lasted a thousand years, always the same, old and wise as Mother Earth. Then, suddenly, it was broken by the rustle and stir of a c.o.c.k pheasant, which appeared from somewhere as if by magic, and stood for an instant all kingly, his breast blazing with jewelled orders in the sunset. Me he regarded with the haughty defiance of a Norman prince, and screamed with rage at the puppy, all his theories upset, because he had been so positive the world was entirely his. So it was, if he"d only stopped to let me a.s.sure him that he owned all the best things in it; but he whirred and soared; and thus I realized instantly that he was a fairy in disguise. How stupid of me not to have guessed while he was there!
[Ill.u.s.tration: "_William Rufus couldn"t have chosen a more ideal spot to die in_"]
You know, the New Forest is haunted with fairies, good and bad. There are the "malfays" that came because of William the Conqueror"s cruelty in driving away the peasants to make the great deer-forest for his hunting; and there are the good fays that help the cottage housewives, and the "tricksies" that frighten the wild ponies and pinch the cattle.
I wouldn"t have been surprised to learn that that pheasant was Puck himself, for no doubt Puck has a hunting-lodge somewhere in the New Forest.
I meant to sit by the Stone only five minutes, but the fairies put a spell upon my five minutes, and the first thing I knew, the sun was gone. So was the puppy, which was even more serious, for I was handicapped by not knowing his name, and no self-respecting canine thing would respond to shouts of "dog," or "here, pup, pup, pup!"
However, I tried both, running about to look for him, here and there, among the enchanted bracken that rustled with elf-life, while the shadows came alive, and the rosy light died.
"Puppy, puppy!" I implored, helplessly drifting; and then, to my surprise--can you "find" that you"ve lost a thing? Well, I don"t know how else to express it. I found that I"d lost the path. If I"d only been able to remember whether the hotel were north or south, or east or west of Rufus"s Stone, maybe it would have been all right; but does any normal girl ever give thought to points of the compa.s.s? I yelled a little more, hoping the puppy would be gentleman enough to come back to a lady in distress, and luckily Sir Lionel heard my howls. He"d come out to look for me, on learning from the landlord that I"d gone to Rufus"s Stone, with the puppy, and he had met it--not the stone, but the puppy--looking sneaky and ashamed. Just then, my voice gave him an idea of my whereabouts, otherwise we should probably have missed; and if we had, I don"t know what I _should_ have done, so you mustn"t scold at what happened next. Remember the New Forest is not a French pension full of old maids, but fairyland--fairyland.
He was in evening dress, without a hat, and I _was_ pleased to see him, because I was beginning to be the tiniest bit afraid; and he did look so nice; and I was _so_ glad he wasn"t d.i.c.k Burden. But don"t worry! I didn"t tell him that.
It seems he came downstairs rather early for dinner, and the landlord mentioned that I"d gone out, so he strolled along, thinking to meet me after walking a few yards. When he didn"t, he thought he"d better keep on, because it was too late for me to be out of doors alone.
I was apologetic, and afraid it must be long past dinner-time; but he said I needn"t mind that, as he had left word for the others not to wait after eight-fifteen.
Then in a few minutes I began to realize that we might have an adventure, because when I called, and Sir Lionel hurried on in quest of me, he"d forgotten to notice the landmarks. It did seem ridiculous to have trouble in finding the way, so short a distance from the hotel; but you can"t conceive how misleading it is in the New Forest. It"s like a part of the enchantment; and if we had been in the maze of the Minotaur, without Ariadne"s clue, we couldn"t have been more bewildered than we soon found ourselves, tangled in the veil of twilight.
"I wonder if birds will cover us with leaves?" I said, laughing, when we had made up our minds that we were lost. But it seemed more likely that, if any creature paid us this thoughtful attention, it would be bats. As night fell in the Forest, they unhooked themselves from their mysterious trapezes, and whirred past our faces with a soft flap, flap of velvet wings. I don"t know what I should have done if one had made a halfway-house of my hair!
"Are you hungry?" Sir Lionel wanted to know.
I said that I was, but wouldn"t harrow him up by explaining that I was ravenous.
He didn"t appear even to _want_ to scold, though it would have been easy to hint politely that it would be my own fault if we didn"t get any dinner that night--or, perhaps, breakfast next morning. Instead of being cross with me, he blamed himself for being stupid enough to lose me. I exonerated him, and we were extremely nice to each other; but as we walked on and on, round and round, seeing no lights anywhere, or hearing anything except that wonderful sound of a great silence, I began to grow tired. I didn"t mean, though, that he should see it. _I_ had enough to be ashamed of, without that, but he knew by instinct, and took my hand to draw it through his arm, telling me to lean as heavily as I liked. I held back at first, saying it wasn"t necessary; and insisting, as I pulled away, his hand closed down on mine tightly. It was only for a second or two, because I gave up at once, and let him lay my hand on his arm as he wished. But, do you know, mother, I think I ought to tell you it felt quite differently from any other hand that ever touched mine.
Of course I haven"t even shaken hands with many men since I"ve been grown up, though if you"d let me be a singer I shouldn"t have thought any more about it than if I were President of the United States. One reads in novels of "the electricity in a touch," and all that; but there it generally means that you"re falling in love. And I can"t possibly be falling in love with Ellaline"s Dragon, can I? I don"t suppose that can be. It would be too stupid, and forward, and altogether unspeakable. But really, I do feel differently about him from any way I ever felt before toward anybody. I have always said that I"d rather be alone with myself than with anyone else except you, for any length of time, because I"m such good chums with myself, and enjoy thinking my own thoughts. But I _do_ like being with Sir Lionel. I feel excited and eager at the thought of being with him. And his fingers on mine--and my hand on his arm--and the touch of his sleeve--and a faint little, almost imperceptible scent of Egyptian cigarettes mixing with the woodsy smell of the night--oh, I don"t know how to describe it to myself. So now you know as much as I do. But wouldn"t it be dreadful if I should go and fall in love with Sir Lionel Pendragon of all other men in the world? In a few more weeks I shall be slipping out of his life forever; and not only that, but I shall be leaving a very evil memory behind. He will despise me. I shall have proved myself exactly the sort of person he abominates.
I didn"t think all that, however, as he put my hand on his arm. I just felt the thrill of it; but instead of worrying, I was happy, and didn"t care how tired and hungry I was, or whether we ever got anywhere or not.
As for him, he was too polite to let me know he was bored, and all the time we were looking for the hotel the night was so beautiful, so wonderful, that we couldn"t help talking of exquisite things, telling each other thoughts neither of us would have spoken aloud in daylight.
It was quite dark now, except for a kind of rosy quivering of light along the horizon, and the stars that had come out like a bright army of fairies, with millions of scintillating spears.