Madison felt her tightness. ""Do you want me to stop?" he asked, his voice husky with desire.
"Just hold me," Fern said, slipping her arms around him and holding him tight.
Odd that the very closeness, the embrace that caused her fears to escalate so quickly, should also give her the most comfort. But being in Madison"s arms made her feel safe, secure, loved. And no fear could entirely overcome that wonderful feeling.
As they stood there, their bodies entwined, Madison"s hands roamed restlessly over her back, shoulders, and sides, touching, soothing, warming. She held him close. Gradually the tension in her jaw eased and her back lost its rigid arch; gradually she felt tingling sensations in her b.r.e.a.s.t.s rather than the tightening in her diaphragm; slowly she became aware that her nipples were no longer soft.
She was also aware of Madison"s arousal.
But the man who attacked her had gotten no farther than baring her body to the waist. Her fears centered on Madison"s hands as they moved along her ribs, gently brushing the sides of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
He had handled her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. He had hurt her with his hands and his teeth. He had kissed her with his hot, feverish lips until she was almost sick. He had held her to the ground with the weight of his body. He had scared her almost out of her mind.
This is different. Madison is different She loved his kisses and being in his arms. He wasn"t holding her down and he wasn"t keeping her here. She wanted to be there.
Still, when Madison"s hands finally moved between them and covered her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, she found it difficult to remember anything except that night.
"Tell me if you want me to stop," Madison said.
Part of her wanted to stop, but part of her didn"t. She said nothing.
Madison"s hands moved to the back of her neck and gently rubbed away some of the tension. He traced the column of her throat, molded his hands around her shoulders, and pulled her to him.
"I want this to be good for you," Madison said softly. "It"s no good if it"s not."
"I"ll like it soon," Fern said. She would. She wanted to. Madison"s hands slipped under the back of her shirt. The feel of his hands on her bare skin surprised a gasp out of her, but it was a gasp of pleasure. If his hands had felt wonderful on her back before, they felt absolutely marvelous on her skin. They were warm and soft. There were no rough calluses. Just warm, comforting smoothness.
But before she had become accustomed to Madison caressing her bare skin, his hands moved to her sides. She stiffened in alarm. She wore nothing under her shirt. There was nothing between her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and Madison"s hands.
"I"m barely going to touch you," Madison whispered. "There"s no need to be frightened."
I"m already afraid.
Madison"s hands slid forward to lightly cup Fern"s b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and she thought she would explode. The sensations that ricocheted throughout her body were so powerful and so contradictory she hardly knew what she felt. She clung to him, her fingers digging into the soft flesh of his back.
"Is this where he hurt you?" Madison asked.
She nodded. She couldn"t speak.
"I"m not going to hurt you. I"ll stop if you want, but soon you"ll begin to know the pleasure I feel."
Fern doubted that. It was all she could do to keep from flinging herself away from him. Every nerve in her body screamed in rebellion.
When she thought she could stand it no longer, she told herself she had to hold on to Madison or let him go forever. Though she felt as if she were going through h.e.l.l just now, she couldn"t do that.
Despite the curtain of fear and the pain of remembering, Fern became aware of a new sensation, a feeling of liquid fire that started in her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and spread to the rest of her body. Her muscles remained tense; her loins still ached, but she was no longer prey to pure fear. A seductive warmth had permeated her body, focusing her concentration into ever smaller circles until she discovered the source of this miraculous sensation.
Madison was gently ma.s.saging the firm peaks of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s with his fingertips.
"He never did that," Fern managed to say.
"He wasn"t in love with you," Madison whispered back.
That was the difference. No matter what happened, Madison loved her. He would never hurt or frighten her. All she had to do was learn to come to him without fear.
Somehow, without completely unb.u.t.toning her shirt, Madison managed to slip the shirt over Fern"s shoulders. Before she had time to be afraid of what he might do, he dropped his lips to the softness of her shoulder, laying a trail of kisses from the curve of her neck to a deliciously sensitive spot just below her ear.
Fern practically melted against him. It seemed that her body was under a.s.sault from virtually every angle. Pleasurable sensation overwhelmed her fear. She tilted her head to one side as Madison followed the outline of her collarbone, settled kisses in the hollow of her throat, and continued across her other shoulder. All the while, his hands continued to tease the firming peaks of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s until Fern was conscious of little else.
Shock stiffened her limbs when Madison let his lips sink to caress the tops of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Her gasp of surprise turned into a blissful moan as the warmth of his lips sent additional whirls of pleasure spiraling through her body.
"I"m going to finish unb.u.t.toning your shirt," Madison murmured.
Fern fought the tension, but she could feel it return. She could remember the feel of his rough hands as they"d grabbed at her tender b.r.e.a.s.t.s. She could remember the pain as his teeth had raked her soft skin.
But Madison"s hands continued to gently caress and knead her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, cupping them, lifting them higher until she felt his tongue trace a circle of moist heat around her throbbing nipples.
No pain. No roughness. Only the delicious feeling that continued to flow through her body, fighting the tension, defeating it, washing it away on an ever-building wave of physical hunger, a hunger so pervasive Fern wondered why she had never suspected its existence before.
Madison took one throbbing nipple into his mouth. Her body jerked in antic.i.p.ation of the pain she remembered, but the waves of enervating pleasure that washed over her body vanquished any remaining fear. With a sigh, she gave herself up to Madison and the sweet agony of his touch.
Without ceasing to worship her body, Madison helped her to sit on the bed, then lie down. Fern felt another moment of uneasiness when he leaned over her, but her body continued to send her signals that all was well.
"I want to touch you."
Fern said the words before she was conscious of the desire. But the moment they pa.s.sed her lips, she knew that was exactly what she wanted to do. She had never touched a man, and the desire to know what it was like was suddenly overwhelming.
Fern felt the shock of withdrawal when Madison deserted her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, but as he removed first his coat, then his tie and shirt, eager antic.i.p.ation took its place. Madison"s body was lean and trim with only a fine sprinkling of midnight-colored hair at the center of his chest. A faint line trailed down the center of his abdomen and disappeared beneath the top of his pants.
Fern reached out to him.
Her first touch was tentative, almost as though she were touching a hot stove to gauge its warmth. Madison"s chest hair was stiff and springy under her fingertips. Marshaling her courage, Fern ran her hands laterally across his chest, her joy in savoring the feel of his ribbed leanness almost as great as her astonishment that her touch left him relaxed and smiling. She ran her hands along his arms. How could they be so lean and yet lift her so effortlessly? His shoulders were the same.
Her fingertips encountered a scar.
"Rustlers," Madison explained. "They had Hen cornered. Monty and I surprised them."
She traced the curves and lines of his neck, felt the slight abrasion of his close-shaved beard, and feathered her fingers across the fullness of his lips. His forehead was cool, his eyebrows thick and bushy; a vein pounded softly in his temples. Taking her courage in hand, Fern allowed her touch to stray to Madison"s nipples.
He twitched. Thinking she had hurt him, she s.n.a.t.c.hed her hand away. Madison took her hand and replaced it on his chest.
"It tickles," he murmured.
"That"s not what it does to me."
Still not entirely certain that Madison was telling her the truth, Fern tentatively traced the edge of his nipple with her fingertip. She was stunned to feel it gradually harden. She was even more surprised to feel her own nipples grow firm in response. She wondered if he felt the shivers of pleasure that darted back and forth along her limbs. Whatever he felt, he wasn"t the least bit frightened.
Feeling more courageous, Fern leaned forward and dropped a tiny kiss on his nipple. When he didn"t move away from her, she kissed the other one. Again, when he didn"t withdraw, she traced its outline with the tip of her tongue. Madison"s shiver of delight sent a thrill running through her body. She could give him pleasure.
Taking his face in her hands, she pulled his lips down to her for an impa.s.sioned kiss. She didn"t even flinch when his body pressed down against hers. She only felt the abrasions of his skin and hair against her ultrasensitive nipples. Her body tension increased tenfold in response.
"Did I hurt you?" Madison asked, quickly pulling away.
"No," Fern said, pulling him back. I just didn"t know my b.r.e.a.s.t.s would be so sensitive."
"You have beautiful b.r.e.a.s.t.s," Madison murmured, laying a trail of kisses along her jaw, down her neck, and across the tops of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
"I"m glad you like me," Fern said, smiling in love at him.
"I like all of you," Madison said.
"And I like you," Fern said, running her hands over his chest. "I never knew it could feel so nice just to touch a man."
Fern pulled Madison down for another kiss.
"And the best is yet to come," Madison promised.
"The best is having you here, being held in your arms. The rest is good, even wonderful, but that"s the best of all."
"You"re not afraid anymore?"
"No."
"You don"t want to stop?"
Fern shook her head.
"Thank G.o.d," Madison moaned. "I don"t know if I could have stood it."
"Can we just lie here?" But Fern was acutely aware of the bulge in Madison"s pants. It pressed against her thigh when he made love to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. It pressed against her abdomen when he kissed her. It nestled between her thighs when she turned on her side to hold him. The tension in Madison"s body, the heat, the fact it was there told her they couldn"t just lie still.
"Do we have to?" he asked.
"No."
She could feel him relax.
"Let me know if anything frightens you."
But she wasn"t scared anymore, only filled with wonder. She could hardly admit it even to herself, but even as his hand moved along her thigh, she realized she wanted to explore his body, too. Not just the fascinating bulge. She wanted to experience the feel of his powerful thighs, to know every part of him.
But it was hard to think of Madison"s body when he was doing such wondrous things to her own. Her whole being seemed to be reduced to the spot under his fingertips. Even as he began once again to suckle her breast, his hand glided along the inside of her leg, lingering briefly between her thighs before crossing over and gliding across her abdomen. Her muscles bunched when she felt him start to undo the b.u.t.tons of her pants, but it was only in antic.i.p.ation. She no longer feared what he might do.
"I never made love to a woman in pants before," Madison murmured. "It feels strange."
"Everything we"ve done seems strange to me," Fern replied, squirming nervously as Madison slipped her heavy pants from her body.
"It won"t for very long. When a man and woman are in love, it"s the most natural thing in the world."
Fern didn"t know about natural, but it was the most deliciously exciting thing that had happened to her in her entire life. She was determined she would not be the only one to undress. She fumbled with the b.u.t.tons on Madison"s pants.
"If you don"t want me to lose control, you"ll go easy," he whispered.
"What do you mean?" she asked, a momentary finger of fear clawing its way back from oblivion.
"Nothing that would hurt you," Madison was quick to a.s.sure her. "It"s just that a man can"t control his body as well as a woman."
Fern couldn"t understand that. She had absolutely no control over her body.
Then Madison"s hand moved to the triangle between her legs, and Fern doubted she would ever take a normal breath again. Using the palm of his hand, he gently ma.s.saged her, helping her relax the rigid muscles that kept her knees pressed together, helping her release the iron band of tension that seemed to radiate from her stomach to all parts of her body.
"Open for me," Madison said.
"What are you going to do?" Fern asked.
"Nothing yet."
But it didn"t seem like nothing when his fingers parted the lips of her s.e.x and he rubbed the sensitive nub with his fingertip. Fern gasped, her body stiffened, her fingernails dug into the mattress. She felt as if her body would lift right off the bed.
"I won"t hurt you."
But it wasn"t fear of being hurt that sent her senses reeling. It was the most wonderful, agonizingly beautiful feeling she had ever experienced. It made her toes curl, her scalp tingle; it made every muscle in her body ache with delicious longing. Through the swirling mists that threatened to swallow her mind, Fern wondered if she could make Madison feel the same way. Without warning, she slid her hand deep into his pants.
Madison jumped as if he"d been jabbed with a cattle prod.
"I"m sorry," she said, s.n.a.t.c.hing her hand away.
He placed her hand on his abdomen. "It"s all right. You just surprised me."
"Are you sure?"
"Help me undress."
Being careful to put as little pressure as possible on the erection that now strained hard against its confinement, Fern unb.u.t.toned Madison"s pants and helped slip them to the floor. His drawers followed. Fern stared, fascinated. She longed to touch him, to squeeze him, to handle him as thoroughly as he was handling her, but she now knew she had to be as gentle with him as he had been with her. Her touch affected him just as profoundly as his touch affected her.
Fern rolled on her side in order to reach a hand around Madison"s back. She let her fingers explore the ridges of muscle, drift down to the narrowness of the small of his back, scamper over his rounded, powerful b.u.t.tocks, down along his thigh. She smiled to herself when his muscles quivered in response to her touch. Feeling more confident, she brought her hand forward, barely brushing his manhood in pa.s.sing.
A delightfully satisfying shiver shook his body.
The thickness of the tangle of hair at his loins surprised her. It seemed almost like a fortress placed there to protect him from invasion.
It pleased Fern to think of herself as the invader. It pleased her even more to imagine Madison as the helpless object of her quest. Emboldened by this image, Fern reached out and allowed her hand to gently encircle his manhood. A moan unlike anything she"d ever heard escaped Madison"s lips. It was a moan of satisfaction, of happiness, but it was also a moan of surrender.
Madison was surrendering to her!
Fern"s entire being sprang into an awareness so acutely sensitive she felt as though the slightest touch, the softest word, might cause her to explode.
Ever so carefully she explored him. His reaction wasn"t anything like hers. While her body grew moist with desire, Madison had grown large and rigid, his length pulsating with heat. When her hand slipped lower and Madison opened his legs in acceptance, Fern felt so vigorously alive, so light she thought she might fly away like the feathery seeds of the thistle that would soon fill the late summer skies.